


Wicked Game

by Simoriah



Series: Wicked Game Series [1]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: F/M, On Set, Playlist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-26 14:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 163,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14404224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simoriah/pseuds/Simoriah
Summary: Zowie's immediate future is well-planned: finish secondary school, win a football tournament with her schoolmates, find the perfect dress for her Leavers' Ball, and then move out of her parents' house in Wellington to begin a new life as an university student. Life, however, will prove to be much harder than that. Meeting a young actor named Orlando will change all her priorities, and facing some life-altering events will face Zowie with more challenges that she knows how to handle.





	1. The Game Commences

_‘_ _What a wicked game to play_

_To make me feel this way_

_What a wicked thing to do_

_To let me dream of you’_

####  _HIM – Wicked Game_

****

**__ **

**[Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/11144079858/playlist/0x19TN1aZBtN9alSk9k72z?si=_2M8l87MQk68zO_3Gnxztw) **

 

**Chapter 1.**

**The Game Commences.**

_Wellington, New Zealand – Late August 1999._

Orlando was the luckiest boy in the world, and the crazy thumping of his heart, which hammered in his chest, ensured that he wouldn't ignore that information for long. No words could describe the mixed feelings that crashed inside him, not as he followed the small group into a building he knew he would grow very familiar with: their training facilities for the next six weeks.

It had all happened so fast, Orlando was still trying to regain foot in the whirlwind he had seen himself submerged into. One day he was in London, living his everyday life, the next he got a call telling him he had got a part in _'Lord Of The Rings'_ , and now, only a few days later, he was in New Zealand. Add a twenty-five hour long flight and the customary jet lag to the equation, and it was enough to throw anyone, especially him, off balance.

A quick glance around confirmed for Orlando that he wasn't the only one to feel that way. Escorted by Peter, the director, some of the production crew, and two of his fellow actors, Orlando saw in the faces of his colleagues the same mix of exhaustion, insatiable curiosity, and information overload he was sure was written all over his face. However, as attentive as his drowsy senses allowed him to be, he kept his eyes open and ears ready to pick any piece of valuable information he could get. All of which, nonetheless, didn't stop him from sneaking glances at the cast mates that accompanied him that day.

Liv Tyler. Wow. A cheeky smile twitched on his lips at the thought of what his friends back home would say when they found out he was working with Liv. He still had not much idea whether his character, Legolas, would share many scenes with Liv's character, the elven princess Arwen, but he hoped that, once their biological clocks went back to normal, they could get to know each other better.

Having a good rapport with his future cast mates was essential to Orlando - if he was to spend the next sixteen months working with these people, the least he could do was get along well with them. Having had no further experience than a tiny little role in a film before, Orlando didn't know what to expect of this ordeal that he had agreed to participate in, and that was just beginning.

"You think they'll let us go back home soon? I'm so damn tired I think I'm going to collapse any minute."

Orlando smiled, and his eyes fell on Stuart Townsend, his other cast mate present that day, knowing exactly what he felt. Not much older than Orlando himself, Stuart was set to play Aragorn, one of the main characters of the trilogy, and as far as Orlando could see, he seemed authentically a nice guy.

"I have no idea, but a bed sounds perfect to me!"

Stuart gave a him smile as they entered the building's doors. From the outside, there was no telling what its real use was, but once the door closed behind them and they followed Peter inside, Orlando knew he would be spending a lot of his time there for the next six weeks. Swords, shields, daggers, axes, lances, and many other things he still didn't identify were aligned on a long table at the far wall, and excitement bubbled inside him. After all, how many twenty-two year olds got the chance to learn how to use a sword? A part of him urged Orlando to check the swords and other elements right away, but he decided against it in the last second... no need to make a fool of himself and ruin something useful in the process with his curiosity.

As he stood in his spot, peeking longingly at the swords, he didn't notice Peter bringing forward a second man until the director's voice attracted his attention.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet William Hart. He's going to be in charge of training you all for the next six weeks, as well as the staging of the battle scenes for the movies," as William shook their hands with a friendly, warm smile, Peter briefed them on further details of their training.

Orlando's eyes widened, surprised by the amount of hours he would need to work in order to master the use of any weapons for the films, but he was more than eager to face the challenge. Enthusiasm brewed inside him, and if Peter and William had asked him to start his training right away... well, Orlando would have probably agreed.

As William answered one of Liv's questions about her particular training, the door behind them squeaked open, but Orlando paid no attention to it, willing to absorb every bit of information he possibly could. His enthusiasm was so obvious, William smiled when noticing the eager shine in the young man's brown eyes.

"If you don't mind, Peter, I think it's time we start with everything," William offered.

"Sure, sure," Peter agreed before turning to the actors. "William has a little something prepared for you. We hope you enjoy it."

At Peter's announcement, Orlando eyed his partners with curiosity, finding the same wonder and excitement growing in them. However, before any of them could say anything, William nodded and someone walked past Liv, followed by a smaller figure. Confused, Orlando stared at them as they joined William and Peter, only then the smaller figure catching his eye.

The girl couldn't be older than twenty, if she reached that age at all. Dressed in stylish black tracksuit bottoms and an equally black sleeveless top with a white, long-sleeved t-shirt underneath, her style backed his assumptions. But it wasn't until Orlando looked at her fresh, youthful face that he got his confirmation. Probably in her late teens, her long light brown hair was pulled away from her face in a ponytail, and her vivacious blue eyes were fixed on William as if waiting for a sign. Then, when it came, all resemblance of normalcy Orlando found in her ended there.

With absolutely no hesitation, she picked a long, heavy looking sword from the collection on the table and held it in her hand with an expertise that belied her age. Nonetheless, Orlando's anticipation soon turned into concern when he saw the other man, the one who had preceded her into the hall, picking a similar looking sword and standing at a convenient distance from her. A pang of something akin to fear made his stomach churn when they, as if having done the same thing a thousand times, soundlessly and masterly withdrew the swords from their scabbards. Was she really going to spar with _him_? Orlando couldn't believe his eyes. The man was a good six inches taller than her, not to mention remarkably larger and stronger. Was she out of her mind?

Orlando never managed to voice his concern, though. Before he could even find his voice, the pair assumed their positions and, in front of their stunned audience, the man attacked, showing no mercy for his smaller counterpart. Beside Orlando, Liv gasped in fear, but there was no need; the girl, showing a calmness Orlando would never feel if finding himself in her black trainers, effortlessly blocked the lunge.

The asymmetrical pair carried on with their exhibition for a few minutes, alternating attacks and defences with some other, more theatrical movements conceived obviously with the actors in mind. Their actions held such fervour and dedication that all doubts regarding the girl's strength were vanished from Orlando's mind. And not because her sparring partner was any gentle with her; he never eased one of the blows directed at her, and he seemed to believe a man his own size and weight challenged him. In her benefit, Orlando couldn't help but notice that she went on and on with tireless energy, returning every single blow with the ability and aplomb of someone much older than her, with years of sword fighting on their backs. However, what really surprised Orlando, and in some way scared him, was that she really seemed to be enjoying the confrontation, judging by the smallest hint of a smile on her full lips. 

"She's quite something, don't you think?" Stuart's hushed voice caught Orlando by surprise. The conspiring smile the older man sent his way brought a grin to Orlando's lips. "Seems a bit too young for me, but you're going to be one lucky bastard if she's around for your training!"

Orlando's smile widened, his eyes once more drifting towards the girl, only that, this time, his gaze had a more appreciative shine to it. Spurred by Stuart's comments, Orlando managed to look beyond her sword fighting skills and, not blinded by surprise anymore, he was capable of enjoying the obviously appealing sight of her. Her movements were fluid and graceful, as if her well toned body had been tailor made for those slick moves. Her long legs, slim and strong, carried her effortlessly, and every curve of her body seemed to be in its right, delightful place.

"Well, I wouldn't know, but she's certainly pretty hot."

As Orlando spoke those words, William, who had moved closer to the actors to leave the sparring pair more room, stared at him with a look in his blue eyes that Orlando couldn't quite decipher. At least, not until he adopted a threatening posture, fire burning in a stare that pierced through him.

"She's my daughter."

So that was it, then. Orlando had totally, completely, and absolutely ruined it. And it had all happened so fast, with just a few words, that it got him wondering if they could kick him out of the movie just because of that.

Yet, as soon as the feeling of wonder evaporated and Orlando was left to face the consequences of his actions, reality hit him like a load of heavy bricks dropped mercilessly on his head. Was it possible to be any more stupid? The question didn't need an answer, at least not in Orlando's head. It was obvious he had reached a new personal level of stupidity that made him feel like walking out of the hall and pick the first plane to England.

But it didn't matter how badly Orlando wanted for the Earth to open up and swallow him, or at least disappear in some magical form; William's eyes had frozen him to his spot, and there was no escaping from him, or his obvious anger. As Orlando considered how badly against him the odds had turned, he missed the quick glances he got from one half of the sparring pair until William suddenly looked away, his alarmed voice echoing off the hall's walls.

"Zowie!"

The sound of metal clattering on the floor clashed with the echo of her father's concerned voice, and it wasn't until Zowie saw the sharp weapon aimed right at her throat that she realised the fallen sword was her own. Swallowing hard, her wide eyes settled on her counterpart whose gaze shone with disapproval, frustration, and fear. She knew Geoff was dying to tell her exactly what he thought of her distraction, and Zowie was glad that, whatever clouded his mind in that moment, remained there. She had already made enough of a fool of herself to make it worse by being publicly told off. Stealing a quick glance at the young actor standing only a short distance away, Zowie sighed with relief. At least _he_ didn't seem amused by her silliness! If anything, he looked concerned, and now that fear and self-preservation waned down, Zowie was able to enjoy the idea of his interest.

But of course, her dad had to make a great deal of it, and he rushed in her direction as Geoff walked away with an angry huff.

"Are you alright?" Taking her chin in his hand, William lifted her face to study her neck, letting out a sigh of relief when he found it free of marks.

Dear God, could he be any worse?

"I'm fine, dad," Zowie mumbled, easing away from her father's grip with a light blush tinting her cheeks. "It's a blunt sword, you know?"

William shot her an admonishing look.

"It could have hurt you all the same."

"But it didn't."

The look in her father's eyes told her he wouldn't give up easily, so Zowie decided it was best to ignore him. If allowed to, William could go on and on about it and never stop. Problem was, Zowie already had her mind on much different matters; all of them concerning the tall, lanky boy that stared wide-eyed at her.

Sparring with a strong man such as Geoff left little room for interest on anything but the task at hand, which demanded her complete attention and dedication. A bit annoyed at her lack of care, Zowie berated herself for letting things go this far. Very conscious of her own abilities, and even more so of the dangers and risks of such kind of practice, Zowie had nonetheless allowed herself to be distracted when engaged in combat, something she should never do. It didn't matter that this was nothing but an exhibition; when a sword was involved, whether blunt or sharp, all her senses must be fixed on it.

Yet, as annoyed as her actions had made her, a side of Zowie couldn't help but think that it was definitely worth it. A tiny smile played on her lips at the sight of the young actor, and she felt the waves of interest and curiosity growing inside her, along with anticipation. He was very handsome and probably not much older than Zowie herself, but that was all she could figure out about him. He was probably the most good looking guy she had ever met, and she had made a complete fool of herself in front of him. Great. Still, that didn't mean her interest for him decreased one bit.

"I'm sorry. This doesn't usually happen," she said to no one in particular, but her eyes briefly lingered on the other actors before settling on him with a coquettish smile. "I suppose I got distracted."

Orlando smiled in return, but with William's reaction still much too fresh in his mind, there wasn't much else he dared to do despite the obvious encouragement. Suddenly sobered up, Orlando reminded himself of the great chance he had been given, and how he shouldn't jeopardise it by letting his hormones do the talking.

Once the incident was, if not forgotten, at least left behind and unmentioned for the time being, Peter introduced Geoff and Zowie to the actors. Trying not to show much of the excitement bubbling inside her, Zowie greeted Liv and was rewarded with a big, friendly smile.

"You think I'm going to be able to do that soon?" Liv's voice tinkled with enthusiasm, and Zowie grinned.

"What, getting a sword aimed at your throat? I hope not!" Both girls laughed at her joke, and Zowie felt relief washing over her. This whole adventure was something she wouldn't miss for anything in the world, and befriending some of these people, sharing this experience with them was something she was sure would remember for the rest of her life.

The turn came for her to greet Stuart, and Zowie had to repress a giggle when he gave her a cheeky smile and a wink, almost as if he knew exactly what went through her mind. But as nice as he seemed to be, Zowie's attention was solely focused on the man at her right. Having never had a shy particle in her body, Zowie did nothing to hide the interest glowing in her blue eyes as she studied his thin form, clad in faded jeans and bright yellow sweater. Smiling, she offered him her hand.

"Hi, I'm Zowie Hart. William's daughter."

Oh yes, that he knew very well! Orlando had learned it the hard way, and he wasn't going to forget it any time soon. However, as loudly as that bell rang in his head, Orlando couldn't help but give Zowie an appreciative look. Beautiful in a youthful, fresh way, Orlando could have never ignored her. A soft blush, product of her activities, coloured her creamy skin, and her blue eyes searched his own, dancing with mischief. The ponytail, which pulled her hair away from her face, defined features that attracted Orlando's attention... and admiration. The small nose was spotted with light, almost unnoticeable freckles, and her lips, temptingly full were now stretched in a cheeky smile. The final touch that gave her face an unique appearance was the slightly square jaw line; not one so aggressive that gave her a masculine look, but one that rather spoke of determination and even stubbornness. And God help him, but that sole thought was enough to kindle Orlando's imagination beyond his control. The sight of her attractive, well shaped body, didn't help at all either.

"Orlando Bloom, a pleasure to meet you."

They shook hands, and as he held hers for a second longer than appropriate, enjoying its softness, Orlando couldn't help but allow his instincts to take over. With his best smile, his thumb brushed her soft skin lightly as her hand slipped from his.

Zowie's pleased smile grew even wider, if possible, when she detected the flirting nature in Orlando's behaviour; acting innocently seemed impossible. Nonetheless, as interested in Orlando as she was, Zowie couldn't simply ignore her father's attentive blue eyes fixed on them and would never give William a chance to complain about anything. Or what seemed an even worse prospect now, stop her from assisting him with the actors' training.

Keeping her flirting to an innocent, harmless level, Zowie carefully folded her arms and stared at Orlando with a curious expression in her face.

"Tell me more about yourself," she said, her voice a sweet coax, a soft smile playing on her lips. "I've never been around movie stars before."

Zowie's comment elicited a soft laugh from Orlando, one he couldn't repress. Him, a movie star? Nothing could be further from the truth, and yet, he intimately wished he was, if only just to impress her.

"I'm hardly a movie star, Zowie," her name rolled effortlessly off his tongue, and Orlando surprised himself enjoying the feeling of its mention. "I'm afraid there's nothing remotely interesting about me."

Zowie's smile sparkled with mischief.

"Don't sell yourself so short... I'm sure you're very interesting."

She was enjoying it too much, and her pleasure grew when, out of the corner of her eye, Zowie caught a glimpse of her father's back turned to her. As for Orlando, he must have been blind not to notice the signs Zowie gave him. She was interested, and so was he. Even William was left aside as Orlando's eyes cherished her lovely features.

"There's not much to tell, really," his shrug emphasised his words. "I'm twenty-two, I just finished drama school in London, and this is my first important role in a movie... that's pretty much it," his words made his life seem like the most simple, uninteresting thing in the world, yet Zowie couldn't have disagreed more. "But what about you? Will I see you around here anytime soon?"

That was an answer Zowie didn't need to think twice about! Nodding, she spoke with a voice enriched by conviction.

"Sure! I'll be around as often as school allows me to."

"Oh, so you're at university? What are you studying?"

Zowie's giggle tinkled with joy. If Orlando only knew how much his words pleased her!

"I wish!" Brushing a loose lock of brown hair behind her ear, her blue eyes sought his before adding. "I won't go there until this fall, though. I'm finishing secondary school right now."

For the second time that day, and seemingly becoming an annoying and frustrating habit, Orlando heard the screeching noise of his brain pushing the breaks of his reeling thoughts. Secondary school? She would only attend university on the fall? How old was Zowie, then?

Obviously, much younger than Orlando had first imagined. Or expected, even.

Astonished as he was by such revelation, Orlando could do little but stare at her, only more closely this time. Able to look beyond her obvious beauty for the first time, he could now see things he had failed to detect in a less detailed examination. Her face, fresh and flawless, still glowed with unmistakable youth, and her carefree attitude and stance spoke louder than any words. However, there was something about her, a great sense of self and of her own attractiveness that belied her age, and that most girls would certainly envy.

She was lovely, and she obviously wanted more. What was more important, Orlando wanted it too; at least, to get to know her a bit more, but it was impossible. He had been given the chance of a lifetime in a production that promised to be enormous. He could never forget how lucky he was, and as much as Zowie appealed to him, jeopardising his opportunity by doing something stupid with his coach's most likely underage daughter seemed the silliest thing to do. That would never mean that he didn't like Zowie or find her attractive; only that Orlando was much more aware of what he risked.

Peter's voice brought Orlando from his reverie. Giving Zowie one last, somewhat saddened look, he sketched a smile, hoping she wouldn't see the change in his behaviour towards her.

"I have to go now, but it was very nice meeting you. I'll see you around, okay?"

Long before Zowie could answer, Orlando posed a quick, feather-like kiss on her cheek, swiftly walking away from her.

His departure didn't please Zowie at all, but a voice, whispering softly somewhere in her mind, told her not to worry. After all, wouldn't Orlando spend the next sixteen months in New Zealand? She would most likely have plenty of opportunities in the time to come. That didn't mean Zowie could be very patient, but that wasn't the right time or place, not with her father's eyes studying her every move.

Her eyes, glowing with the plotting schemes working at the speed of light in her mind, followed Orlando on his way out of the training facilities. His long tread followed his cast mates' steps easily, and the smile he directed at Stuart got her own lips twitching in a tiny smile.

Incomparable to anyone she had ever met before, Orlando caught Zowie's attention from the minute she walked into the training room. Tall and lanky, he still had a boyish aura to him that she found endearing. He was also very attractive which, combined with the obvious interest she had seen shining in his eyes, was enough to set her mind. It didn't matter that her father obviously disagreed, or that Orlando wasn't one of the boys her age she knew how to deal with. If anything, that spurred her further, encouraging her. And it didn't matter how long it took her - time, she had plenty of. Zowie's mind was made up, and nothing would change it.

Orlando would be hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is a story I wrote a long time ago, one that spent years going around in my mind until I discovered NaNoWriMo and set myself to actually write it and let it see the world. It was a welcomed challenge for me. "Wicked Game" is part one of a trilogy, I hope you all enjoy it and, in case you want some music to go with it (songs mentioned in the story or that inspired parts of it), you can click below the little cover/ button on top to listen to the playlist I made in Spotify. I hope you enjoy it and the story!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

_"There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm"_

**_Christina Aguilera - Candy Man_ **

_"You and I... we have to talk."_

Mimicking her father's threat with a low mumble, Zowie rummaged through her backpack, hoping to leave nothing behind. So William wanted to talk... zipping her bag closed, Zowie knew there was no mistake as to what was that her father wanted to discuss with her; not with the serious look he had given her. She had been careless, that much she knew, and the sole memory of the accident that had almost happened brought an angry huff to her lips. She _knew_ what she was doing. She _knew_ the dangers. Then, why on Earth had she allowed herself to get so distracted when engaged in combat?

And more importantly, did she honestly need to ask herself those questions? As if she didn't know the answers already!

Looking at herself in the mirror of the big dressing room, Zowie smiled, her lips stretching with a hint of mischief and self-assurance.

"Orlando," she murmured lowly, if only to test the feeling of his name rolling off her lips. She loved it.

Her smile widened. Zowie was a determined person, and now that she had made up her mind, she couldn't wait to put her plan to practice. Not even her father's words echoing in her mind could put a damper to the good mood that had suddenly lifted her spirits. When was the last time she hadn't got something she wanted? Zowie couldn't remember. There was always a way, she knew that. And Orlando had caused such an impression on her, that Zowie wanted him more than any other boy she had met before. After all, what were those boys when compared to this young man she had just met? Silly, immature, and clumsy, that's what they were. And surely, Orlando was none of that.

Aware that she had kept her father waiting longer than necessary, Zowie hurriedly zipped her jacket up and swung her backpack over her shoulder, her schoolbag on her free hand. The weight of the latter reminded her of the load of homework that had come her way in the last few weeks, and that would surely come in the next ones, but she refused to let it ruin her good mood. If everything worked out as expected, 1999 would be the best year of her life. She would graduate from school and would also work in that huge production that _"Lord of the Rings"_ was. Not many things could top that, that was for sure.

The moment the hall's door slid close behind her, Zowie had to bite back a florid expletive. The bitterly cold wind not only caught her by surprise, it also played havoc with her ponytail, blowing it in different directions before she could do anything about it. With a sigh, Zowie looked up, frowning at the sight there. So much for springtime being near! The sky was a dark grey, and it rumbled ominously above her, promising rain... and lots of it. Now, if only a storm came their way, strong enough for classes to be suspended the following morning! She had a load of French homework sitting comfortably in her schoolbag, an English assignment and a Maori project, both waiting patiently for her at her desk. For once, Zowie deserved to sleep in one morning, and then take the rest of the day to do her homework. Problem was, she couldn't see it happening anytime soon, so she imagined she would have to stay up late to finish everything in time. Not to mention that finals were just around the corner...

The flow of her thoughts was interrupted by the loud, and rather annoying, honk of a car. She didn't need to look around to see where it had come from, but that didn't stop Zowie from shooting her impatient dad, who waited in his car, a dark glance. However, as soon as another gust of cold wind whipped her hair against her face, Zowie determined this wasn't the right moment to play the offended one. Or, at least, if she still wanted to, she could do it _inside_ the car where she would be warm. With that thought in mind, she rushed towards the car and jumped inside, closing the door behind her with a shiver.

"You think it's going to rain?"

"Probably."

"You think there's any possibility of a flood coming or something? I could really use a day off."

William smiled broadly and knowingly at his daughter's annoyed tone. He stared at her as she, with a huff, fastened her seat belt and dropped her bags with a loud thud.

"Oops!"

"Something wrong?" he asked, starting the car and giving her a brief look.

Grimacing at her father's words, Zowie picked her schoolbag from the car's floor and unzipping it, rummaged through its many contents.

"Heard that _crack_ noise?" she didn't see William nodding, busy as she was trying to find something inside her full bag. "Pray it's not Brooke's new Kylie Minogue CD."

Looking through his rear view mirror, William couldn't help but laugh at the anxious tone in Zowie's voice. So typically Zowie, to act first and think later... much later, in fact, he mused as he drove the car out of the parking lot. Thinking about it reminded him there was something he wanted to discuss with her, but knowing his eldest daughter as well as he did, William decided to warm her up some before touching the subject. He wouldn't take too long, though. Knowing her tendency to throw herself head first at everything she did in life, William knew he had to straighten things up with Zowie before she made a mistake.

"False alarm!" Zowie's relieved voice attracted William's attention. Diverting his eyes from the road just enough to see what she meant, he saw her waving a brand new CD case in her hand. One that was, fortunately, free of all blemish and mistreatment. "Umm... I wonder what that noise was, though..."

When her father laughed, Zowie stared up at him with a half amused, half speculative look. His hilarity was good; it kept him busy and away from the promise he had made. However, Zowie couldn't help but wonder when William would make use of his parental prerogatives and start his lecture. She dreaded the moment. There was nothing William could say that Zowie hadn't told herself already, so what was the use? She hated being told off, especially for that silly mistake she should have never done, but she also knew she would have to keep her head low and take it if she wanted to carry on with this adventure... and the plans that began to shape in her mind.

"Did you call mum?"

Knowing what was coming her way didn't mean Zowie couldn't try to delay it for as long possible, right? If she managed her timing well, they might even arrive to their house before William touched the subject.

"Yes, she knows we're on our way. Oh, and she said Jewell is practically sitting at the door waiting for you, hoping you will tell her _everything_."

Zowie groaned.

"Great. Exactly what I need... Jewell chasing after me when I have so much homework to do!"

With an annoyed sigh, Zowie turned the car's stereo on and quickly tuned in her favourite FM radio station. She loved her little sister, but thirteen year olds could be so damn irritating sometimes!

Frustrated, Zowie turned her attention outside the car. The dim, weak light of a winter day was quickly disappearing, and the lights of Wellington began to shed their luminosity on their surroundings. She usually loved the play of the multicoloured lights as they followed the coast line: the yellowy street lights and the clearer, brighter ones coming from the houses outlining the bay always caught her attention. But not in that precise moment, not when she could picture her little sister tagging along, hoping to hear some entertaining story. Sure, she had a couple, but none Zowie felt like sharing with her family! She had much more urgent things to do than entertain her sister.

"Too much homework?" William asked, and Zowie nodded. Stopping the car at a traffic light, he shifted in his seat to give his daughter his undivided attention. "Are you sure you can handle everything, Zowie?"

Turning her attention from the bay, Zowie focused on her father's solemn blue eyes, and what she saw sparked her concern.

"What are you talking about, dad?" she had an inkling of what he meant, but she hoped to hear the confirmation straight from him before blurting out something she could regret later.

"I'm talking about this whole thing, Zow. School, homework, helping me train the actors... I know it's exciting. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience, I know that too, and that's why I asked you to help me, but I wouldn't want this to affect your academic performance, Zowie. Your finals are coming, your admittance to University is at stake here, and I won't have you ruining that. Besides, you know what your mum asked from both of us before agreeing to this, remember?"

Zowie bit her full lower lip at William's words. Did she remember her mum's warning? Of course she did! Noemie had been awfully clear when giving in to her daughter's constant nagging and begging, and her husband's prodding. When she finally said yes to Zowie participating in the actors' training, she had only asked one thing, and that was for Zowie's academics to remain as good as they had always been. The moment her grades dropped because of her attention diverting to something else, this whole experience would be over.

It was in moments like this when Zowie wished Noemie could be a bit more like her husband. While, on one hand, William gave in to almost anything Zowie asked, on the other, Noemie firmly stood her ground, making it much harder for Zowie to get whatever she wanted. That's why she preferred dealing with William: her chances of succeeding increased when he was involved.

"I know... And I can, dad. I can and I will. I just need some time to adjust, that's all. Mum won't ever have a reason to be mad at me, or worry, or anything else. I swear. I wouldn't miss this chance for the anything in the world, dad."

The street light switched to green, but before resuming driving, William studied her face, as if testing the honesty in her words. Whatever he was looking for, he seemed to find it in the clear gaze she gave him for the car soon began to move slowly down a steep street, one of the many in Wellington.

Zowie sighed with relief, knowing her careful choice of words had had its desired effect. If there was someone in the world who knew how to deal with William Hart, it was Zowie herself. Still, she knew she would be walking on thin ice for a long time. If she wanted to spend as much time next to Orlando as she hoped, she couldn't let anything slip past her control.

"Keep that in mind, Zow. I would hate not having you around for this." Smiling, he added. "And I bet you would hate missing it too!"

Zowie smiled. If he only knew!

"Are you kidding me? This is... incredible! How many people get a chance like this?" Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement as she spoke, and William smiled. "I know I wouldn't, had it not been for you. Can you imagine what Brooke will say when I tell her I met Liv Tyler?"

William couldn't help but laugh heartily at Zowie's light, carefree tone. Obviously, his teen daughter thought him either too unaware or too senile to notice how her attention had focused on someone else rather than Liv. Of course, he had been distracted answering questions from either the cast or the crew members present, but had never let his daughter slip from his sight long enough not to notice how her attention never diverted from the young boy standing before her. Orlando was probably a good lad, and he should definitely give him a chance, but one careless comment had quickly placed the actor at the bottom of William's list of his favourite people. He would be on guard for Orlando's future actions, and the young actor would have to work really, really hard to make his coach's opinion of him change drastically.

"I honestly don't think Liv is the problem here, Zowie," William stated as they reached another red light. Once again turning to her, he took a few seconds to try and find the best way to voice his concern to his hot-tempered daughter. "I know what you're going to say. I already know you're old enough not to be told who you should be friends with, or who you should stay away from. You have done a great job so far. However, Zowie, I would really sleep more peacefully at night if you kept your distance with Orlando." Zowie parted her lips to voice her disagreement, but William raised a hand to interrupt her. "Sure, he seems like a nice boy. He's good looking, more experienced, and an actor, to top it all... that can easily attract a young girl your age and have her making some silly mistakes."

Zowie blinked, shock painted on her face. And all this time she had hoped William hadn't noticed her interest in Orlando... all this time she had dreaded a lecture about responsibility, trying to come up with a way to delay it and, if necessary, ways to debunk his arguments while her dad had had something completely different in mind.

Rebelliousness stirred to life within her. Yes, William had a history of being a bit, if not too overprotective, but never to this point! Never, since she had memory, had her father asked her to stay away from someone. Ever. And the fact that said person was no other than Orlando only kick started the defiance in her that never quite rested.

Zowie wasn't dumb; had never been so. Since her body had rounded up in all the right places and she had grown conscious of her own attractiveness, it was impossible not to notice how men of all ages stared at her. That was the same look she had seen in Orlando's eyes that afternoon, leaving her no doubt as to what he thought of her. He found her attractive, and that was something she couldn't resist. Orlando was handsome, sexy, probably the most attractive man she had ever met, and nothing would ruin her chances with him. Not even her father.

But he couldn't know of her determination. So, in William's benefit, Zowie pulled her most innocent smile, the one she knew he couldn't resist, hoping to put him at ease.

"I promise I'll be careful, dad... don't worry," still smiling, she added some light-hearted words to lighten the atmosphere. "I do have to say Orlando is a nice guy, though."

William snorted, driving the car around a corner.

"Nice _looking_ , you mean," he joked, and Zowie laughed.

Fortunately for her, one of her favourite songs came on the radio, and William wouldn't notice anything strange in his daughter's sudden change of mood as she sang along to Ricky Martin's _"Livin' La Vida Loca"_. However, her mind reeled with concerned thoughts.

William knew she was attracted to Orlando, and that was, potentially, more dangerous than Zowie had expected. Suddenly, she realised that William was in a position in which he could easily decide he didn't need or want Zowie's help anymore, and nothing would convince him of the opposite. If that came to happen, it meant losing her chance to see Orlando every day for the next six weeks, not to mention the rest of the shooting. If Zowie didn't use the training time to start and develop a friendship with him, how would she ever get as close to him to take the next step? In order to see Orlando, Zowie needed to keep her dad happy and, more importantly, unaware of her intentions.

Yet, William was right about one thing: what attracted Zowie to Orlando was the fact that he was older and, above all, more experienced. All the boys she knew had only one thing in mind, and Zowie had lost count of the many times she had slapped adventurous, eager hands off her body. Instead, a guy like Orlando, with all the experience he surely had, would never be as clumsy and annoying. Thinking of how perfect Orlando surely was, Zowie conveniently ignored the fact that she knew next to nothing about him. She knew his name, his age, where he came from, and not much else, but that didn't stop her from idealising that image of him she had created in her mind. And, as that image grew more perfect and idealised, Zowie grew more and more determined. She wanted Orlando, and she always found a way to get what she wanted. Always.

Getting home didn't take longer than a fifteen minute drive from Miramar to their house in Hataitai, following the Evans Bay's coastline. Zowie knew the sights well, but that didn't mean she loved them any less for that. Having grown up in Wellington, she was very proud of her city and its beauty, and knew pretty much everything that was there to know about it. Also, this sight she knew particularly well, for Evans Bay was the view that waited for her outside her bedroom window, beckoning her to admire that familiar landscape that was already a part of her. Countless times had she heard from foreign visitors the wonder at the way of life in Wellington: strong wind, cold weather during a big part of the year, steep hills that made walking around anything but easy, not to mention the impressive sight the city's airport made in the distance, its runway topped at each end by the sea. Yet, Zowie wouldn't change that for anything in the world. Should she ever move away from New Zealand, her hometown would be forever in her heart.

As soon as they entered Hataitai, and left behind the avenue of the same name, Alexandra Road unfolded before them. Zowie could have made her way from there with her eyes closed, knowing every single twist and turn on the way, but enthusiasm bubbled inside her, barely allowing her to sit still. Their house was only a few minutes away, and while she knew her sister waited for her, there was only one thing Zowie wanted to do: call her friend Brooke and tell her everything about Orlando, for keeping it all inside her and in silence was killing her. Patience had never been one of her virtues, and that afternoon was no exception.

Turning round the corner of Alexandra Road and Upoko Road, it only took another sharp turn to the left for the Hart's household to come into view. Located on elevated grounds, the modern house overlooked the bay and the South Coast. Renovated not long ago, the family had lived there since before Zowie was born, and held many memories. The house grounds were mostly irregular, just as pretty much any other of the area, and most likely the entire city, which meant the house plan was quite unique too. A quick look told Zowie that, not only her sister waved at her from the living room's large window on the upstairs level, but also that her bedroom window, the only one located on the downstairs level, was brightly illuminated, something that shouldn't happen without her around to do it. Frowning, Zowie knew that could only mean one thing: once again, her brother was snooping around her things, as usual. And, as usual, she would have to make sure he didn't set foot in her territory again. A wicked smile played on her lips. Oh yes, she would certainly enjoy doing it!

"I can see Jewell is waiting for you. Be nice to her, okay? She's a little girl, and she would love to be in your shoes," William pointed out as he parked the car. Then, turning to her as he unfastened his seat belt, he added. "Oh, and be nice to Jared. I'm sure whatever he is doing in your room, he's got a good reason for it."

Zowie's wicked smile didn't diminish one bit as she jumped out of the car, her bags in her hands. Closing the car door behind her with her hip, she glanced at her father over the vehicle's roof.

"I'm not sure Jules would like hearing that she's just _a little girl._ " Jumping on the stairs right in front of her father, she added, "And I'm sure Jared has a reason to be in my room. He knows I'll personally kick his butt if he doesn't!"

"Zowie!"

William's reproachful tone spurred Zowie, and laughing, she ran up the stairs that led to their front door, her father shaking his head as he followed her with a swift step. She didn't need to knock on the door, since Jewell held it open for her long before she made it there.

"Zowie! I want to know everything!" Jewell's blonde hair bounced as she jumped up and down in her spot. Zowie rolled her eyes. Had she been as annoying at that age? Probably not, she mused.

"How about some _'Hi, Zowie! How was your day?'_ " with a huff, Zowie tried to keep her backpack, which was dangling dangerously over her shoulder, in place with her free hand.

Jewell rolled her eyes, but didn't give up. Knowing Zowie, she knew her sister was all bark and no bite. Unless she really got on her nerves, of course...

"Hi, Zowie? How was your day?"

Jewell's sarcastic tone didn't go unnoticed by Zowie, and much to her dismay, she found herself smiling at her little sister as Jules kissed William's cheek.

"Can you wait until dinner?" she asked, dropping her bags and making her way up the carpeted stairs, heading up to the main living room and upstairs level, where she could hear her mum on the phone. Taking a quick look to her left, she could see the door to her bedroom closed, but with light filtering from underneath.

"Ummm... no?" Running up the stairs, Jewell stood in front of Zowie, effectively blocking her way. "I won't let you through until you tell me _something_. Anything! I want to know, Zowie... please! You get to have all the fun stuff to do while I'm locked in here doing my homework."

While Jewell's pout didn't do anything to Zowie, her sister's words did find a way through the bad mood she could feel increasing at her constant questioning, touching her heart. Zowie was the first to admit how lucky she was, and now that she had met Orlando, she was very conscious of how important this whole experience could be, not just for her, but for everyone involved. Even her family members who weren't directly involved felt the need to know and share it with her.

"It was great, Jules," she finally said. "There isn't much to tell, though... Geoff and I did our exhibition, and then we were introduced to the three actors that were there today. I got to talk to them for a bit, but Peter had to take them somewhere else before long. Now, if I promise to tell you what little there is to tell, will you let me say hi to mum?"

Jewell smiled, victory shining in her grey eyes. Swiftly moving aside, she motioned for Zowie to pass, grinning from ear to ear. Shaking her head, Zowie walked past her, but had to glance at her over her shoulder when Jules called her name.

"Everything, all right?  You'll tell me everything."

Zowie rolled her eyes and Jewell giggled, following her sister and their father upstairs. Reaching the top level, Zowie looked around, taking in the dining table set and her mother on the phone as she hovered over the dinner cooking on the stove. When the older woman heard the girls' chat, she turned to them and waving at Zowie, she said something into the phone before ending the call and setting it beside her on the counter. Smiling, she checked dinner one last time before heading towards her eldest daughter.

"Hi, dear," Noemie greeted Zowie with a hug and a kiss on her cheek.

"Hi, mum," Zowie returned her mother's gestures, and as they stood side by side, the resemblance between them became obvious. Although Zowie was a bit taller than her mum, they still shared some features, like their full lips and small noses. The main difference between both women, however, was Zowie's more square-lined jaw, which gave her a determined, even stubborn aura, and the girl's bright blue eyes. Those were a true Hart trademark she had inherited from her father.

Brushing some strands of Zowie's long hair that the wind had blown from her ponytail, Noemie asked.

"So? How was your day?"

Her question brought a grin to Zowie's full lips.

"School was boring, as usual," she said with a roll of her eyes just to add more effect. "But meeting the actors was just great."

When Noemie smiled, pleased with her answer, Zowie could have sighed in relief. Instead, she allowed her grin to grow wider in her mum's benefit. Should Noemie ever find out about the sword Geoff had thrust at her throat because of her distraction, she would have a heart attack. That, and she would lock Zowie in her bedroom and never, ever, let her come anywhere near a sword again in her life before she could even come up with a decent excuse. Throwing a quick glance at her father, Zowie saw William smiling too. As far as she could see, their secret was safe with him, and that made her want to hug him. No matter what he said, he would never push her away from the training, and she loved him even more, if only just for that.

It was then that the smell of homemade food tickled her nose and Zowie's stomach rumbled, making her realise how hungry she actually was. However, there were two things she wanted to do before joining her family at the dinner table.

"Is dinner ready?" she asked.

"It still needs a couple more minutes, why?"

Zowie smiled innocently at her.

"I just need to take my things to my room, and maybe give Brooke a quick call?"

Noemie laughed at her last remark.

"A quick call?" She shook her head. "There's not such a thing between the two of you."

Zowie had the decency of looking embarrassed at that. Rolling her eyes, she then added.

"Anyway, can I? She is waiting for it, and I want to talk to her before she leaves her house... it's her gran's birthday today and the family is having dinner at her uncle's restaurant."

Noemie nodded.

"Make it quick, all right? I would like it for you to hang the phone up right away when I tell you for once."

Giving her mother a bright smile, Zowie planted a quick kiss on her cheek before running down the stairs, making sure her feet made nothing but a low thump as they hit the carpeted steps. There were no signs of Jared upstairs, so that only confirmed her suspicions; whatever her brother was doing in her room, he better have a damn great excuse for it.

Still moving as silently as she could, Zowie rested her ear against the door, hoping to get any sign of what Jared was doing inside. Last time she had found him there, he had found out the password of her PC and was diligently checking every single file on it, regardless of that tiny little thing called 'privacy'. Not a single sound could be heard, and as she posed her hand on the doorknob, she pressed on it just a little, like she did every time she wanted to open the door without any unwanted noises.

Soundlessly, the door slid open just a bit, enough to allow Zowie a quick glance inside. She couldn't see much, only her bed at the right and her bedside table, but everything seemed to be in place. Opening the door a bit more, Zowie managed to step in, but before she could take a look behind the door as she intended, she found herself, for the second time that day, with a sword pointed at her. The only difference was that, this sword, unlike the one Geoff had used during the exhibition, was a very live, sharp blade, and when in inexperienced hands, a real threat.

"You bastard!" Zowie exclaimed when, once over her shock, she was able to look beyond the blade and found a pair of twinkling blue eyes. Had she not had that same experience just an hour before, she would have dealt with it differently. However, having a sword pointed at your throat twice in the same day was more than she could take. "Put that down, you idiot! You have absolutely no idea how to handle these things!"

"Make me."

Zowie wasn't stupid. She knew her brother wouldn't intentionally hurt her, but a live blade was still a weapon, and he didn't know how to use it. Accidents happened, yes, but she had no intention of letting it happen to her. Instead of trying to force him to give her the sword, she used the one alternative she knew would never fail.

"Mum! Jared is using my sword!"

The look on Jared's face the moment she screamed for help was so hilarious she couldn't help but laugh. His half offended, half afraid expression was exactly what she had expected.

"Zowie!"

Before Jared could add anything else, Noemie's voice came floating down the stairs, her tone laden with impatience and scolding.

"Jared! What on Earth are you doing with your sister's sword? How many times do I have to tell you that you can't play with something like that? Now come upstairs... don't make me go down there and get you, you hear me?"

Jared threw Zowie a nasty look before dropping the sword on her bed.

"Thanks, Zowie."

She shrugged, walking in to pick up the sword and put it back in the black box where it belonged.

"You're welcome," she said coolly as she slid the box under her bed. "That's what you get for getting into my room without my permission. What is it that you want, anyway?"

When Noemie called his name, a warning tinting her voice, Jared rolled his eyes.

"I was looking for that Geography assignment you did last year. The one on Germany, remember?"

Knowing she had the upper hand, Zowie sat down on her bed, crossed her legs, and stared at her brother with a business-like stance.

"Are you telling me you will be copying my homework so you don't have to do your own?"

Jared gave her a cold look.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"I'm disappointed, Jared!" she said, feigning shock and earning herself another roll of Jared's blue eyes.

"Yeah, yeah... whatever."

Zowie grinned.

"If you leave my room right this minute, I might remember where it is and leave it on your desk tonight. Now, would you please go away and stop sneaking into my room when I'm not around?"

Jared's grin mirrored his sister's.

"Why, is there something you need to hide from me? Should I tell mum?"

"Not without getting your ass kicked first! Now go away before mum comes down to get you herself. I need to make a phone call."

Ignoring how he poked his tongue at her, Zowie collapsed on her bed the moment Jared left her room. When would her siblings understand she _hated_ having them snooping around her room? With a sigh, she picked up the phone from the bedside table and speed dialled the only number she called every single day: her best friend's, Brooke.

As she waited for her to pick up the phone, she spotted her football kit neatly folded over a chair. She loved football and had joined her school's team on her first day there. They trained twice a week, and their next practice was the following day. Her school, St Mary's, had finally reached the local finals, and since the team was at their most effective peak, they had a good chance of beating the defending champions, the Wellington's Girls School, and winning the championship. Zowie couldn't think of a better way to end her secondary school years than winning the trophy and leaving the school's name as high as it could go. That needed hard work, but no one on the team was afraid of it. Coach Schumacher made sure of that.

Distractedly, Zowie's eyes skimmed over the many posters that, on the opposite wall, had covered every trace of the red paint that coloured her room. Many faces stared back at her, but only two men shared the spot of honour: Silverchair's singer Daniel Johns, and Italian football star Alessandro Del Piero.

Daniel, with his long blond hair and light blue eyes, looked every bit like the rockstar he was; the same she had vowed to marry the first time she had caught one of Silverchair's videos on MTV. Alessandro, on the other hand, couldn't deny his Mediterranean heritage, not with his dark hair cut in a stylish, flattering way, and his sparkling brown eyes. Although Zowie found him really attractive, it was his footballs skills that she admired the most. It wasn't easy to catch any of the Italian's games on TV in New Zealand, so she made a point not to miss any of them. However, as much as she worshipped those two men, Zowie couldn't help but smile as an image of Orlando danced before her eyes. She still hoped to marry Daniel or elope with Alessandro, but Orlando was real and tangible, and the possibilities were endless.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the line brought Zowie back to reality.

"Hi, Mrs. Keirle! Zowie here, is Brooke home?"

"Oh hi, Zowie!" The woman greeted her warmly and Zowie smiled. "Yes, she's here, I'll put her on right away. How was your day?"

Her smile grew wider.

"It was amazing! I'm really looking forward to this, it should be great."

"I'm glad to hear that. I'll put Brooke on... she's literally tugging at the phone's cord to take it away from me."

Laughing, Zowie thanked her friend's mother and braced herself for what was sure to come. Faintly, she could hear Mrs. Keirle warning her daughter not to linger too long since they needed to leave right away.

"I want to know everything! Every single detail, so spill!"

The demand of Brooke's voice the moment she finally gained control over the phone made Zowie laugh even harder.

"You think you have enough time to hear the whole story?" Zowie taunted her.

"I don't care if my family never speaks to me again. Now start talking before I go insane. Any cute guys that I should know of?" When Zowie didn't answer right away, Brooke gasped loudly. "Oh my God! Who is he?"

Throwing her door a quick glance to make sure it was safely closed, Zowie turned until she was laying on her tummy. When she spoke, she kept her voice low... she had no intention of sharing her thoughts with her family.

"His name is Orlando-"

"Orlando? Weird," Brooke interrupted her.

"Do you want to hear the whole story or not?" When Brooke promised to try and remain silent, Zowie went on. "He's gorgeous, Brooke! He's 22, has the cutest British accent ever, and hear this... he is one of the actors my dad and I will train for the movies!"

Brooke's excitement took the form of a loud squeal that could have pierced Zowie's ear, had she not been so used to it.

"What does he look like? Is he cute?"

"He's absolutely gorgeous, B," Zowie said, calling her by her nickname. "Orlando has the most beautiful brown eyes, curly brown hair, and he's tall... he's a bit on the lanky side, but that is nothing I can't handle."

Brooke giggled and then sighed.

"And him? What did he do? Did he give you any signs that he is interested in you or anything?"

"Well, if you count studying me from head to toe and being decidedly flirty as signs of interest, then yes," Zowie explained with a grin as Brooke let out a loud shriek.

"Oh my God, oh my God," Brooke's chant was only interrupted by her mother's voice warning her that she either hang up or she would have to make it to the restaurant on her own. "This is so cool, Zow! I can't wait until tomorrow... you will tell me everything, you hear me?"

"I sure will!" Zowie reassured her friend with a smile. Then, in a low conspiring tone, she added, "I want him, Brooke."

Silence filled the line for a few seconds as realisation sank in, followed by a shocked gasp.

"You want him as in _really_ want him? Like-" before she could add anything else, Brooke was interrupted by her mother's voice exclaiming _"Brooke! Car, now!"._ "Look, I've got to go now, but we'll talk about this in school tomorrow, okay? So you better be ready to tell me what's on your mind, you hear me?"

Zowie smiled and agreed. Promising Brooke to share every single detail with her in the morning, both hung up, just in time for Zowie to hear a knock on the door.

Five minutes later, Zowie sat at the dinner table telling her family what had happened that day at the hall. Of course, the bit regarding the sword incident was carefully left out, according to a tacit, unspoken agreement between her and William. Still, as soon as the attention focused on other things and the family's conversation moved away from her, Zowie concentrated on her future actions.

She had to plan everything carefully, more so than ever before. On one hand, she couldn't scare Orlando away by being too blunt and forward, and, on the other hand, there was no way her parents could be aware of her intentions. But as she tried to come up with a plan while playing with the greens on her plate, Zowie knew it would work. She was determined and patient and, above all, she couldn't remember the last time she hadn't got what she wanted. And this time, she wanted Orlando, and he wouldn't be the exception.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

_“You're some kind of beautiful stranger_

_You could be good for me_

_I've had the taste for danger_ _”_

**_Madonna – Beautiful Stranger_ **

 

"All right girls, let's get to work. You will be working in pairs, and you have five minutes to think and write down the most important points of your chosen topic before we start the debate. All of you will participate, so make sure you don't waste your time, is that clear?"

Ms. Shelby Carroll had barely turned on her heels when Zowie obnoxiously poked her tongue out at her. Beside her, Brooke could barely repress the giggle that bubbled within her at her friend's actions. However, still unsatisfied, Zowie crossed her eyes and scrunched her nose, not caring about how horrible she surely looked; in that instant, it was absolutely worth it.

If such a thing as a nemesis truly existed, then Ms. Carroll was Zowie's very own. Everyone, probably the entire student roll of St. Mary's College loved Ms. Carroll with a devotion Zowie found insane. However, every rule had an exception, and in this case, said exception had a name: Zowie's.

Religious Studies had never been Zowie's favourite subject. However, being raised in Catholic schools, she knew better than anyone that there was no way out of it until she graduated. That's why, during her five years at St Mary's, Zowie had made a point of sailing through the subject without too much of an effort and with good grades.

Until Shelby Carroll came into her academic life, of course.

Zowie remembered it very well, and as the memories fluttered back to her mind, she made sure to shoot the teacher's back a murderous look. It had happened during Year 10. The assignment? Falseness and its consequences on society. As usual, Zowie felt pretty confident about it. She had done similar assignments countless times before, why should this one be any different?

Either way, she worked hard. Or actually, as hard as she considered sufficient for a Religious Studies brief, which meant putting a bit of an effort into it so it made enough sense to get her a good grade. The assignment had taken up some of her time, nonetheless, making Zowie stay up late and even miss an episode of _"The Nanny"_ , her favourite TV show. Of course, that didn't sit well with her, but it had to be done, right?

However, whatever efforts Zowie might have done seemed useless when Ms Carroll considered it appropriate to share some of her thoughts with the class a week later. It wouldn't have been so bad, had the teacher not focused on a particular, and rather silly, passage Zowie had included with the sole purpose of squeezing some extra lines out. It wouldn't have been so bad, had the not class found it incredibly amusing. Not one to take humiliations easily, Zowie had never forgotten the bad moment Ms. Carroll had made her go through and had promised revenge.

Brooke was the one to talk her out of it. It took every bit of Zowie's determination to look elsewhere during the entire year, pretending nothing had happened while she did her best at every single assignment, presentation, or any other thing Ms Carroll came up with. December seemed to be ages away that year, but when it finally came, Zowie and Brooke had toasted with Coca Cola over the much welcomed, and highly anticipated, disappearance of Ms. Shelby Carroll from their school life... forever.

Saying Zowie was shocked and disgusted to find Ms Carroll's name in her school program for Year 13 was a huge understatement.

Had she known her parents would agree to it, Zowie would have insisted on changing schools, finishing her education somewhere else, as far away from the dreaded Religious Studies' teacher as she possibly could. However, there was little Zowie could do about it. Other than glare at the name that seemed to be written in bright lights on the paper, pout some, and blow a lot of hot air for the remaining of the day, she had to accept her mum's words when she ordered her, in a very emphatic way, to grow up and face whatever wrong she thought Ms Carroll had done to her. It was then that Zowie came to a conclusion.

To Hell with Ms Carroll! This was her last year of school. How many times did a person go through that? Only once in their lives, and she expected it to be fun, and a moment she would always remember for the rest of her life. Once her mind was made up, she decided that Ms Carroll wouldn't ruin anything for her. After all, once the year was over, the teacher would be out of her life. Zowie herself would be somewhere else, living University life to the fullest. Who would remember Ms Carroll then?

That didn't mean Zowie didn't hate the weekly Religious Studies class with all her heart, of course.

The only thing to successfully drag Zowie from her reverie and back to reality, was the light tapping of a pencil on her arm. Shifting sideways, Zowie's blue eyes met the anxious gleam of Brooke's darker blue gaze which made her smile. Brooke was literally bouncing in her seat, and the sight erased all the bad memories from Zowie's mind.

"I swear, Zowie... if you don't spill every single detail _right now_ , I'll die. And I promise it won't be pretty, because I'll make sure to come back as a spirit and haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't start talking now. I can't take it anymore, for Goodness' sake!"

"Okay, then. What is it that you want to know?" Zowie asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Brooke sighed dramatically.

"Everything! I know that there's a lot more than what you told me last night, so you better tell me everything before the teacher from Hell comes our way."

A grin spread on Zowie's lips and, as if she had been waiting for her friend's permission, she threw herself fully on the task of describing Orlando to Brooke.

"He is so cute, B! You _have_ to meet him... I'll make sure to take you with me as soon as I can talk my dad into it."

Brooke nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, I _do_ need to meet him! Are there any other cute guys, though? I mean, this Orlando seems to be very much taken already, and since I'm still very much single..."

Zowie barely managed to stifle her giggles at Brooke's meaningful look. Only a couple of inches shorter than Zowie, the blonde-haired, blue-eyed Brooke was a very pretty girl no guy would ignore. The only reason why she didn't have a boyfriend was because, in Zowie's opinion, she was too picky. Yet, as Brooke herself said, better off alone than with an idiot, right?

"There was another guy with Orlando," Zowie murmured in a conspiring tone, leaning forward and resting her weight on her forearms on the table. "His name is Stuart, but I'm afraid he's older than Orlando. Fancy having a senile boyfriend?"

Brooke's laughter was quickly covered behind a fake cough which earned the girls a questioning look from the teacher. Hoping to remain unnoticed, they turned their attentions to their notebooks, if only briefly. The moment Ms Carroll looked elsewhere, the conversation began once more.

"What does this Orlando look like? Will you ever tell me, or do I have to drag it out of you?"

Doodling on her notebook, Zowie let out a sigh before turning her dreamy eyes to her friend.

"Orlando's got the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen, B... they're so dreamy, and so warm! His hair is short and brown, but you can see his curls here and there."

At that, Brooke raised a hand to silence her friend, her blue eyes wide on hers.

"Wait! Are you telling me he's got curly hair?" When Zowie nodded, Brooke grinned. "I love men with curly hair!"

Zowie smiled, and, resuming the idle pattern she had been drawing on her notebook, she then turned to Brooke. This time, the look on her face told her friend there was much more to come.

"Want to hear the rest?" Zowie's voice was only a whisper, and Brooke nodded emphatically, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

"What did he do? Did he say anything, did you two get to talk or something?"

"Not much, really," Zowie's happy tone lowered considerably at her admission, and her friend's lips formed a silent, surprised O. "I do think I caused quite an impression on him, though."

Brooke's mouth closed with an audible plop at Zowie's words. Her blue eyes fixed on her friend, they grew wider the moment a mischievous smile played on Zowie's lips.

"Oh my God, Zowie... what did you do?"

Zowie giggled.

"Jesus, B! It's not what you are thinking... geez!" Brooke arched an eyebrow at Zowie's pretended aggravated tone, making her smile. Then, blushing a little, Zowie's eyes focused on her notebook for a second before looking up once again. "Remember that exhibition I told you about? The one Geoff and I were doing? We did it, and... well, I kind of screwed it up a bit."

Her eyes tinted with concern, Brooke turned her undivided attention to her friend.

"I was so busy trying to check Orlando out that I dropped my sword and ended up with Geoff's aimed at my throat."

Brooke gasped loudly, her eyes widening with concern.

"What?"

"I got distracted, all right? I had this gorgeous guy there and I was desperately trying to catch a good glimpse of him... I never imagined Geoff would take this so damn seriously!" Zowie's admission came out rather reluctantly, her cheeks tinting with a faint red. "It was stupid, I know. Even a blunt sword, with Geoff's strength..." Zowie shook her head. It had all been over very quickly, but even she had to admit the danger had been there, thanks to her imprudence.

Shaking her head, Brooke gave her a puzzled look.

"Damn, is he _that_ attractive?"

When Brooke saw her friend smiling, she knew the dark cloud that loomed over her had disappeared.  She and Zowie had been friends since their very first day on St Mary's, and she knew exactly how much sword fighting meant to her. Brooke had seen Zowie in action before; had seen with her own eyes the pure, unadulterated concentration glowing in her eyes whenever she held a sword in her hands. Whoever this Orlando was, he had surely caused a great impact on Zowie to make her lose her focus like that.

"You better believe it!" Zowie said, her dark mood forgotten. "I can't wait for you to meet him."

"After all this, neither can I!" Brooke's eager comment brought a smile to their faces. "Come on, there has to be something else... I want to know!"

Zowie's grin became mischievous once again.

"We didn't get to talk much. We basically introduced ourselves, but what he _didn't_ say is just as important."

Brooke leaned forward, closer to her friend in anticipation.

"What?"

Zowie bit her lip.

"You should have seen the way he looked at me, B! I think I almost died when I realised he was checking me out. There wasn't much I could do, not with my dad's eyes on me all the time, but I made sure to let Orlando know, as subtly as I could, of course, that I think he is my kind of shaggable material."

The only way Brooke could control the loud laughter that tried to escape from her lips was, once again, hiding it behind a loud cough. Chuckling at her friend's antics, Zowie diligently patted her back, giving Ms. Carroll her most innocent and puzzled look when she walked in their direction with a suspicious look.

"Are you all right, Brooke?"

Still patting her friend's back, Zowie bit her lower lip to keep from laughing when Brooke looked up at their teacher, flushed face and teary eyed.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Carroll... I'm fine. I just... something went down the wrong way, that's all."

Nodding, Ms. Carroll turned on her heels and walked away. Once she was out of hearing range, Brooke wiped her tears and gave her friend an amused glance. That brief look was enough to send both girls into a fit of giggles they had the hardest time hiding. When Brooke controlled her laughter, she once again wiped the tears from her face and leaned forward on her seat with an inquisitive look.

"So you're telling me this oh-so-shaggable guy has knocked _both_ Alessandro Del Piero and Daniel Johns off that _'Most Gorgeous Man Alive'_ pedestal of yours?"

If that came to be true, Brooke would be hugely surprised.

"Not just that pedestal, you know?"

Brooke looked puzzled for a second. Then, when realisation came to her, her wide blue eyes seemed to widen even more.

"No way!"

Zowie nodded, knowing her friend understood the message. Then, taking a deep breath, Zowie finally voiced the thought that had entered her mind the moment she had gone to bed the night before.

"I'm a hundred per cent sure, Brooke... I want Orlando to be my first."

Her shock was so great, Brooke could only stare at her friend open mouthed.

"Are you telling me that... that you are willing to give Orlando your first time?" Her disbelief was obvious in the way she questioned Zowie, who only nodded in return.

"Yes. I want him. No one else will do, Brooke... I swear! You will understand that the moment you meet him, believe me. Besides, he likes me, I know that. How hard can that be? He's got something... an aura, I'm not sure what it is, but I can't get him out of my head. Just think about it, Brooke... he's twenty two, imagine all the experience he surely has!"

"Twenty two?" The mention of Orlando's age was enough to sober Brooke up. "Zowie, are you sure he isn't a bit too old for you? I mean, why not stick to guys our age? They're safe. But an older guy, someone you barely know..."

Zowie shook her head vehemently.

"No way. You know exactly what I think of guys in our age group, Brooke! How many times have you had a guy trying to get you to sleep with him pretty much the moment you met them?"

Brooke couldn't argue Zowie's reasoning. The memory of a semi formal dance, when she had ended up in a dark corner with a tall rugby player who wouldn't take a no for an answer, came to her mind. The only way he would leave her alone was when she threatened to start screaming that he was forcing her. Only then did he let her go. Brooke sighed. Being seventeen was anything but easy most of the time.

"Point taken," Brooke admitted. "Anyway, if I were you, I would take it easy with Orlando. He can very well be a great guy, but you know nothing about him."

Zowie gave her a sided look.

"What? And choose a guy like Jeremy over him? Definitely not!"

Oh, Jeremy... Zowie's ex boyfriend. The one who had taken months to accept the fact that he had been dumped, until, in one last desperate attempt to get him out of her life, Zowie got William involved. One serious talk between William and Jeremy's parents was all the latter had seemingly needed to move on.

"I know Jeremy isn't exactly... ummm... well..." Brooke's voice trailed off, failing to find a word suitable enough to describe the boy.

Zowie nodded.

"Exactly! I can't remember exactly how many times I told him I wouldn't sleep with him, but he never got the message. I want something else, Brooke... I want someone who knows what he's doing, and I'm sure Orlando is the perfect guy for me. No one else will do."

Brooke almost groaned at her friend's determination. Whenever something got into Zowie's mind, she followed it to the end, regardless of the consequences; she was that stubborn. She had seen it happening many times before, and she hoped it didn't end badly this time.

"When will you see Orlando again?"

"I have football practice tomorrow, and Coach Schumacher will have my head on a platter if I miss it, so I won't see Orlando until..." Zowie narrowed her eyes, mentally going over her agenda. "Friday. Oh God, I can't wait!"

Brooke was about to add something when Ms. Carroll interrupted her, making both girls look up.

"Time's over, girls. Let's start with our debate. Brooke, Zowie, you two appeared to be very busy, so why don't you tell us what your chosen topic is and what you have discussed about it?"

Zowie groaned, knowing she was in big, big trouble.

Shelby Carroll was, indeed, her nemesis.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

_"This is my last warning, Zowie! Control yourself! One more issue with Ms. Carroll that lowers your grades and you know what will happen."_

Noemie's words echoed in Zowie's mind, no matter how hard she tried to deafen herself to them. God, as if she needed any reminders! An endless list of possibilities formed in Zowie's mind as she, taking advantage of the silent, desolated training room, swung her sword over the head, facing an invisible enemy. In that moment, warming up was the last thing on her mind; blowing some of the hot steam that bottled up inside her seemed much more of a priority.

Zowie knew exactly what would happen; she didn't need Noemie to point it out so diligently for her! If she had once considered her feelings for Ms. Carroll to concentrate around general despise, that was nothing, _nothing_ , when compared to the absolute hatred she felt towards her in that instant. But that wasn't the only conclusion she came to, although Zowie had to admit this new discovery was anything but a novelty: she hated her mother. Why couldn't Noemie be a little bit more like William? No matter how furious her dad could get, there was always, unfailingly, a way to talk him out of it. Countless times had Zowie herself got away with murder with the adequate use of a pout and a remorseful look.

Yet, Noemie was a completely different story. While William could be easily convinced -manipulated, even-, Noemie stood every bit of her ground, never giving in a single inch, never allowing Zowie to get away with anything. Zowie had to admit that, at times, she understood that her mum carried the load of disciplining her children on her own, especially when she took into consideration that William had some serious, serious issues when it came to setting boundaries in that field.

However, that afternoon wasn't one of such rare occasions. The moment Noemie put to risk what Zowie cared about the most, she forgot all about sympathy and understanding. In that precise moment, Noemie was risking, not just the incredible experience that _"Lord of the Rings"_ could be, but she was also jeopardising whatever chances Zowie had with Orlando. The actors' training wouldn't last forever, and she needed every single minute she could spend with them if she wanted her plans to work.

A thick haze of anger clouded her eyes as she nimbly moved around the hall, unloading every bit of her frustration on that invisible partner she had created. Her sword cut the air with a sibilant hiss, and while the sound was sweet music to her ears, it was nowhere near enough. She felt like a bull looking for that red flag that made it charge and hit, releasing the tension and frustration inside her. Yet, there wasn't much around, and what little furniture populated the room was pushed back against the walls, almost as if they were scared of taking a central spot in that room where a furious teenager swung her very real, very live blade around in anger.

Yet...

Zowie caught a glimpse of the table at her left, where someone had diligently set drinks and light snacks for the actors that would soon arrive. A big, round, and bright green watermelon sparkled from its spot, taunting her. Zowie didn't stop to think. Having found the red flag that beckoned her, she closed the distance with only a couple of quick, light steps, and, without giving her actions a second thought, she let the sword hit the watermelon with every bit of strength her body possessed.

The sloshing sound of the blade swiftly cutting through the fruit's flesh, although relieving, was nowhere near as satisfactory as the feeling of the watermelon yielding under the sharp sword. Only when the weapon impacted on the table, Zowie managed to snap out of her angry haze and take a look at what she had done.

Both halves of the fruit swung precariously over their round ends, and suddenly, Zowie found herself flooded with concern and fear. She didn't regret slicing the watermelon in two, not at all; that was what the fruit was there for, after all. Instead, Zowie was very concerned at the way she had let her temper take over. When William decided to bring that watermelon along, he had had one simple teaching in mind: a test cutting with a fruit that size was the perfect sample of how dangerous working with swords could be, and how careful they needed to be with each of their actions. Getting carried away was completely, absolutely, out of the question.

Too bad Zowie had forgotten all about that golden rule.

Suddenly sobered up, Zowie put special attention on cleaning the mess she had created. There wasn't much to be done about the watermelon, but Zowie carefully cleaned her sword before putting it back in its black box. The only reason why she would bring her live blade to the actors' training session was to show them its effects. However, now that she had taken care of it in advance, murdering the watermelon, there wasn't much use for it anymore. Sighing, she softly closed the box and put it away, trying to come up with a sensible way to explain her father something that couldn't be entirely explained. At its best, Zowie could expect to smooth the shock some... and pray William kept her secret the way he had with her previous incident. The last thing she needed was more drama with her mum.

It turned out Zowie didn't need to wait that long. Before she could come up with an excuse, William, followed by Geoff, the actors she already knew, plus one she didn't recognise, walked into the room amidst a friendly banter. The atmosphere was decidedly light, but  Zowie still braced herself for the worst. If she knew her father well, and Zowie hoped she did, William wouldn't tell her off in front of everyone. If he could only wait a couple of hours before biting her head off for her carelessness, she would be forever indebted.

If William noticed something unusual in his daughter's tame behaviour, he did a good job of keeping it to himself. However, the minute he noticed both shiny halves of the watermelon staring back at him from the table, he gave Zowie a questioning look, hesitating a few seconds before voicing the question she could read in his eyes.

"Umm... what happened to my watermelon?"

Zowie blushed, her cheeks turning into a bright red under, not just the questioning glance of her father, but also those of the four actors standing before of her. Her blue eyes briefly scanned their expressions finding intrigue in the face of that tall, blond man she didn't know. As her eyes flew over the other three actors, Zowie found no relief when meeting Liv's sympathetic gaze, Stuart's obvious amusement, and Orlando's concern. Biting her lip, Zowie turned to her father, not sure she could stand the embarrassment of the situation.

"I'm sorry, dad. I... I was warming up with my sword and... well, I got carried away."

Could Earth please open up and swallow her immediately? As if being embarrassed in front of Orlando once wasn't enough, she was going through it all over again, regardless of how hard she was trying to impress him. If this was the way things would be, she might as well just give up and focus her energy on something that wouldn't kill her dignity and pride.

Blinking in surprise, William stared at her for long seconds. Then, releasing a low breath, he posed an arm on her shoulders and brought her closer to him.

"Well, this is exactly what I was talking about. As you can see, what Zowie has done to the watermelon is as good an example as any of what a sword can do," William said as if nothing had happened, putting on his best instructor's voice. "Sure, you will be training and performing with blunt swords, but you will do well by keeping this image in mind. A blunt sword might not cut a watermelon in half, but it can certainly wound a person. Just remember what happened to Zowie the last time."

His tone was light, and while Zowie knew he meant well, she still hoped to magically disappear until her pride was restored.

" _Thank you_ , dad."

William smiled as he pulled her close for a quick hug. Light laughter filled the room and before Zowie could wallow in self pity any longer, her dad turned her onto the focus of something much lighter. Still smiling, he motioned at the blond man standing with the other actors, the only one who wasn't a familiar face. Sean Bean couldn't be older than William himself, and his smart green eyes smiled at her with a conspiring look before settling on William.

"I admire you," Sean said. "My teenage daughters would kill me for a comment like that!"

William laughed.

"Oh, it's all about the audience. Once you are all gone, Zowie will have my head."

Groaning, Zowie turned on her heels and hurried away from the scene of her humiliation. Joining the younger actors, she stood with them by the table as they admired her handiwork.

"Damn, Zowie. You do this kind of thing often?"

Stuart's half amused, half surprised tone made her roll her eyes. Knowing he only meant to tease her, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared back at him with a meaningful look.

"Only when forced to, of course. I'd be careful if I were you."

Stuart's unrepentant grin managed to melt the last bits of uneasiness remaining in her, and the moment a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, Zowie knew she would survive the embarrassment. Smiling at Liv as she comforted her with a light rub of her arm, Zowie turned her attention to Orlando, blue eyes taking on a coquettish look when settling on him.

"I hope you don't think I'm insane... or worse!"

"Oh, not at all," he said with a mischievous grin. "I'll only make sure not to make you angry when any swords are around. Which pretty much rules out every situation, since I'm afraid we'll be surrounded by swords most of the time."

Zowie's smile grew brighter.

"We'll have to meet outside this hall some time, then. That way you'll make sure no weapons are around."

Still smiling, Zowie walked away, not wanting to push her luck, especially in front of her father.

Staring at her as she gracefully moved away, Stuart nudged Orlando in the ribs, a wide smile on his face.

"Looks like you've found yourself some gorgeous company for your time in New Zealand, Orlando. Lucky you! If I was your age, man... I might give it a try. If I were _her_ age... then I definitely would!"

Orlando smiled at Stuart's words, but couldn't help but feel torn over what his friend had said. While a side of him found Zowie very pretty and interesting, another one begged him to keep his distance. It was too soon, too soon to forget the tepid look in William's eyes just a few days before.

Zowie was lovely, there was no use denying that, and her intentions were written all over her face every time she looked at him. It was so hard for him to pretend he didn't see it, that it had no effect on him... every single time, Orlando felt closer and closer to failing. Everything about Zowie was intriguing: her physical appearance, her skilled, graceful moves, the confidence that permeated her every action... all of which, combined, proved to be more than Orlando could handle.

Was it possible to ignore her beauty, her open flirting? Orlando tried, but he knew he didn't succeed. After all, hadn't Stuart instantly picked up the disappointed look on Orlando's face when, the previous day, Zowie had been nowhere to be seen? For a moment, Orlando had the feeling that, for an actor, he was doing a lousy job of keeping his feelings concealed. However, while his cast mates wouldn't do much besides tease him, William could definitely take it to the next level.

The more he thought about it, the more confused Orlando felt. What to do about Zowie, about his own feelings? Answers evaded him, and all he could think of was that there were two paths, both of them drawn with perfect clarity before him, waiting for him to chose one of them. The first one seemed the easiest one; if he followed that path, Orlando would let himself go, follow his instincts, and respond to Zowie's flirting and his own interest. Instantly rewarding, Orlando could feel its luring pull just by thinking of it.

As for the other path, it appeared rocky and generally difficult. Following it meant holding himself back, carrying on as if the attraction he could feel growing between him and Zowie had never existed.

A struggle came to life inside Orlando, his heart and his mind willing him to take different paths. Yet, no matter how urgent an answer seemed to be, he had enough presence of mind to understand that it wasn't the time, nor the place, to make a hasty decision: there were many things to consider before rushing headlong into a disaster.

He had been given the chance of a lifetime. Years ago, when entering drama school in London, Orlando had never imagined he would be a part of a project as big as _"Lord of the Rings"_. How could he? His only film experience so far was a very small part in a movie about Oscar Wilde's life. In fact, to be honest with himself, his part was so small that it was a miracle his face was even shown on screen. Anyone in his lucky shoes would do anything to keep this new job as safe as possible, and to remain as far away from any sort of trouble that could come his way. Why would he, or anyone, jeopardise this incredible job opportunity?

Orlando's eyes found Zowie in the distance. She made a thoroughly impressive sight standing only a few feet away from him, black trousers, red top, and sword in hand. She seemed so incredibly at ease with that blade in her hand, as if it held absolutely no more secrets to her. That was probably the case considering the smooth movements and expertise Zowie showed whenever she was in action.

A side of him could only imagine the embarrassment she had felt that first day when her distraction had got the best of her. Zowie obviously held her abilities in high esteem, and a mistake like that, in front of people she surely hoped to impress... it couldn't be nice. Orlando knew he would feel just as bad if he tried to impress someone with his acting and something went awfully wrong. It had happened already, although Orlando had decided to erase the uncomfortable, embarrassing memories from his mind. Either way, having gone through that experience too, he could sympathise with the young girl.

The moment Zowie sensed his eyes on her, and her blue gaze met his brown one, she smiled at him, and it felt to Orlando as if its warmth had closed the distance that separated them. Unable to resist, he smiled in return, even noticing right away the flirting in her actions.

That could prove to be a serious problem, for Orlando liked her too and had a hard time keeping his own flirting under a tight, severe control. That was his biggest problem, how to keep his distance with Zowie while she constantly tried to convince him, with some subtle, and other not so subtle signs, to take the next step?

There was only one thing holding him back, and that was the big risk that he would take should he ever give in to Zowie's prodding. Would he dare to lose the most incredible opportunity ever given to him? These movies could be the starting point to a great career. Would he dare to upset William, the producers, or even the director because he was unable to keep his hormones under control? As far as he had seen, and had been told in the past couple of days, Peter, the movies' director, and William were good friends, having met years ago. What would stop Peter from firing an actor no one knew if he messed up with his friend's underage daughter?

Lost in his musings, Orlando only noticed William beckoning him forward the moment Liv tugged at his arm. Looking up, she gave a meaningful look in the instructor's direction, and Orlando's cheeks tingled with a light blush when he noticed the man had been waiting for some sort of response from him. Orlando wasn't sure whether the blush was due to the embarrassment or the path his thoughts had taken, afraid the older man could find out that they were all clouded by images of his daughter.

Beckoned forward, Orlando took the replacements for Legolas' White Knives, along with his bow, for the first time. As he did, some of his concern vanished, slowly replaced by excitement. After all, wasn't this every boy's dream? How many times had Orlando pretended to be a pirate, a warrior, or a knight when he was a kid? The only difference was that, back then, those had been only games in a classroom, brought to action thanks to rulers or any other thing they could find. This, however, was very much real, and no matter what other thoughts worried him, the moment the 'stand in' knives' handles fit perfectly in his hands, Orlando knew this was what he had been waiting for all his life.

That same feeling permeated all through his being and didn't leave him for a long time, not even after he had long since finished his part and was busy, for the first time in the day, attentively studying the advice given to his cast mates. It had taken only a few good moves and enthusiastic encouragement from William to make Orlando see this was a chance he wouldn't ruin for anything in the world. Not even for a beautiful girl that stared at him in a way that could probably make him blush if he analysed the darker hues in her clear blue eyes.

Staring down at his hand, the feeling of sheer wonder at the sensation of the knives' handles fitting easily in his eager hands was enough to make Orlando's mind up. A quick look in Zowie's direction as she showed Liv what moves to do next only served to confirm his decision.

The next sixteen months promised to be the greatest, most amazing months of his life. What could be better than combining a passion he had discovered as a grown up, such as acting, and those childhood games? Not many things could rank higher in Orlando's priorities in that instant. With a twinkle in his eye, the young actor once again focused on the knives. God, he couldn't wait until he finally got Legolas' real ones! He could almost picture all the stunts he would do, all the reckless experiences he would be a part of, all the new friends he hoped to make during his time in New Zealand.

Gripping the knives harder as if he were afraid to lose them, Orlando knew his mind was made up. He wasn't sure how long his determination would last, or if something would happen to shatter it down to pieces, but he would hold on to it for as long as it would last.

As much as he liked Zowie, remaining just friends with her would be the smartest thing to do. At least, for the time being. There was too much at stake to let a reckless action ruin everything, for both him and her. That didn't mean he would ignore her for the rest of the time they spent together, of course not; there was no need to be rude with her or anything of that kind. Zowie seemed to be a really nice girl, and he was sure she could make a great friend. Should he ever change his mind, there was more than enough time to right whatever wrongs he might have done in the past.

They would spend the next six weeks working together, spending lots of time one next to the other. William would also be around, watching him closely, especially after his careless remark. If, in a few weeks time, Orlando realised he wanted Zowie to be more than just a friend, there would still be a long time ahead to work that out. For the time being, Orlando would focus on training, on keeping his energy on the demanding piece of work laying ahead. Whatever happened later couldn't be foreseen now, so he wouldn't worry about it. As long as his mind was made up and his job was safe, he would try to keep his hormones under a tight control... for as long as he could, he mused, staring at Zowie's lean body. It wouldn't be easy, but someone would have to give him some credit for trying, right?

The minute her father's instructions ceased, Zowie slipped back where she could observe the hall around her without attracting much attention to herself. Without surprises, her eyes quickly found Orlando, and a smile played on her full lips when she noticed the adoring, amazed way he stared at his knives. He was bewitched, and she could easily understand him.

Having seen, during her entire life, her father training with swords, she had felt the exact same bewilderment. How long had she sat there, staring up at her father with an adoring glow on her face, as William practised lunges and blocks, and then engaged in combat with both visible and invisible sparring partners?

Zowie remembered being nothing but a little girl when her father picked up on her interest and, without her mother finding out, took her to the training facilities he used to attend to back then. Being the doting father he had always been, William had been unable to resist the excitement bubbling inside his enthusiastic daughter. It all started with a wooden sword, one much too big for her then tiny frame. However, Zowie would have never, even back then, admitted how much it took her to even lift it.

That afternoon, William taught her the basics of what would become one of the main interests of her life: sword fighting. During later years, he would take Zowie's training in his own capable hands, shaping her until she was a nimble fighter with a great knowledge of their discipline. Not only had William turned Zowie into his best student, their usually strong bond had grown even deeper out of the shared times and experiences.

That's why she could perfectly understand Orlando's feelings. And that was why she hoped that, now that they had even more things in common, approaching him wouldn't be hard at all. It wouldn't be hard for her; she had lots of technical and practical knowledge she could share with Orlando, little tricks that could make his work better, and even ways he could please his instructor in case Orlando ever did something wrong. She knew that would happen, for William couldn't hold a grudge for long.

If anything, her determination to have Orlando for herself grew stronger than before. Many different paths were slowly being laid in front of her, ways for Zowie to approach Orlando in ways he could never refuse, and that exhilarated her. She needed to be patient, though, and that had never been a trait of her personality. However, considering what her goal was, she could make an exception. Smiling, she turned her attention to Liv, analysing her moves. A lot of work needed to be done with the actors, and she was more than eager to participate. Nothing wrong could come out of it, could it?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

"I can't stress this enough, Zowie. My life will be _so_ much easier the moment we do this very same thing for the last time!" The aggravation echoing in Brooke's words only spurred her and her best friend to leave St. Mary's as quickly as possible. Spending another minute in the college's facilities on a Friday afternoon was completely out of the question. "The finals, the whole University admittance process, the interview there... it's driving me insane! Right now, the only thing that makes my life worth living is tonight's party. By the way, did I thank you for sneaking me in?"

Zowie couldn't help but laugh at the sudden change in Brooke's voice, one that went from total aggravation to complete gratitude in the span of a second. Fixing her bag more comfortably on her shoulder, Zowie swiftly slid the cap of her parka over her head, not wanting to subject her hair to the light drizzle falling over Wellington. Prompted by the weather conditions and the urge of leaving the college's surroundings soon, the girls almost ran down the slope that connected St. Mary's and Hawkestone Street below.

With Brooke's words echoing in her ears, all it took from Zowie was one quick look in her friend's direction to  know that the excitement glowing in Brooke's face was, most likely, a mirror of her own. But, how couldn't they feel that way? How could they hold themselves back? School was over, and the weekend ahead held promises of memories that would last forever. In Zowie's book, that was enough to have _anyone_ jumping up and down with joy.

"I didn't sneak you in," Zowie pointed out, holding her cap securely in place against the strong wind blowing from the harbour. "I _invited_ you, which is a completely different thing."

Shrugging, Brooke too did her best to keep her hair safe from the elements.

"Whatever you want to call it, it's still awesome anyway. Thanks again, Zow! I swear, if I didn't fancy boys, I'd marry you right away!"

"Ew!"

Laughing, both girls walked down Hawkestone Street.

"Is Orlando going to be there?" Brooke asked as she turned on her cell phone, checking it for any messages.

"He better be!" Zowie exclaimed, but her next words were interrupted when a car, exiting the garage of one of the houses on their way, blocked their hasty retreat. The driver, having spotted them through the rather foggy windshield, stopped and waited until they walked past. "It's supposed to be a cast and crew party, a way to get everyone to know each other before shooting begins. Peter wants it to be some sort of 'bonding' experience, you know... a way for everyone to meet before this monster starts moving. God, this is going to be insane!"

"What is?" Brooke asked, giving her a confused look.

"This whole thing, B!" Zowie's eyes widened as her hands made a grandiose gesture, as if trying to encompass something that went far beyond her physical abilities. When her bag slipped from her shoulder, Zowie managed to catch it in the last minute before it hit the sidewalk. "The movies will be insane! Are there any other movies that have taken almost two years to be completed? Not that I know of, anyway, and it's just main photography we're talking about here."

Brooke nodded, and her thoughtful silence showed she shared her friend's feeling of wonder.

"When is the first movie going to be premiered?"

As they turned around the corner, now continuing their descent towards the Railway Station through Molesworth Street, a strong gust of wind blew Brooke's cap off. Muttering some words under her breath, she quickly slipped it back in place.

"2001, I think. Probably by the end of the year. My dad said something about box office, but I wasn't paying much attention, honestly."

"2001," Brooke smiled, her eyes taking on a dreamy sparkle. "I will be in Dunedin by then... and hopefully, just a year away from graduation and total stardom, either in movies or the stage!"

Zowie laughed along with her as they walked past the Cathedral of St Paul. If there was someone Zowie trusted to make her acting dreams come true, it was Brooke. Her friend was a peaceful, quiet character, but one determined enough to make anything work. For an instance, she hadn't been afraid to put her foot down and defend her career choice when her parents, who wanted her to study something more practical, were shocked to find out Brooke had decided on drama instead. And on the other end of the country, nonetheless.

"As for me, I'll be in Palmerston North, surrounded by hot and athletic guys that will do their Bachelors in Sports with me," Zowie said with a grin, her blue eyes sparkling mischievously. "Either that, or I'll be living in London and married to Orlando. Both sound great to me, although the latter does have some extra brownie points in my book."

Giggling, the girls crossed Hill Street towards the Beehive.

"In case you decide to get your degree before marrying your hunky actor, we should promise to get together here in Wellington, join both islands, and watch the movie. I think it'd be great."

Her eyes set on the distance, Zowie's grin took on a mischievous shade.

"Sure. I hope you don't mind if I bring Orlando along, though."

Brooke's clear laughter echoed around them, attracting the attention of one or two passers-by.

"I'll have to get myself a hunky actor too, then," Brooke responded, her own smile becoming a mirror of Zowie's mischievous one.

"That's the least you can do," Zowie's voice carried the certainty of someone who was already a firm believer in something that had yet to happen. "You'll be studying drama, for God's sake! I expect to see a cute actor on your arm the first time we get together next year, so don't you disappoint me, Brooke!"

Shaking her head while still smiling, Brooke pointed to the street light and they hurried towards their bus stop, not wanting to miss it.

"Anyway, does your dad know you're paying him a visit today?"

Zowie shook her head as she crossed her arms over her chest. It had been a hectic couple of weeks, with the most varied events keeping her away from what she wanted the most: spending time with Orlando.

"I don't think it'll surprise him much, though. After deserting him these last few days, I'm sure he's expecting me to show up at the hall sooner or later."

"And, of course, he thinks it has nothing to do with Orlando."

"Of course."

Both friends shared a conspiring look before Zowie spotted their bus coming their way.

"Oh, by the way. My mum? She's anxiously waiting for you. And when I say anxiously, I _really_ mean it," the look on Brooke's face told Zowie she wasn't all that pleased with the situation. "She's been driving me insane with questions, Zow... I swear! She wants to know everything! You better be ready for a cross examination the moment we hit the breakfast table tomorrow morning, so don't say I didn't warn you."

Zowie couldn't help but smile at the image Brooke's words painted. Mrs. Keirle was so excited about the movies, Zowie had already been subjected to rounds of interrogation before training even started. Now... now she couldn't imagine all the questions Brooke's mum surely had for her.

Before Zowie could answer, the bus stopped right before them, and they wasted no time climbing in; any source of warmth and shelter from the rain was more than welcome. While Brooke would leave the vehicle just fifteen minutes into the ride, Zowie's trip would be much longer: a good forty minutes until they got to Miramar where the training hall was located. Good thing she had some reading material with her, Zowie mused.

However, despite the possibilities of entertainment, it was in moments like this that Zowie _really_ wished she had a car. That way, not only would she have lots of time to spare, she would also move around the city with complete independence. Besides, it would be a great way to avoid William's usual complaining whenever he had to drive her somewhere.

 _'Buy me a car, then'_ she had said once, tired of the same argument over and over again.

She knew the answer, though. It was the same one she got every single time. _'I would, but your mum would kill me and, somehow, I can see where she's going. Buying your first car by yourself should teach you a great lesson about the value of money.'_

Zowie rolled her eyes at the memory of William trying to teach her such a lesson. She didn't know the actual expanse of the Hart's family business, one that included grandparents, uncles, and other relatives before them, but she knew it was enough to allow William to live his hobby full time without worrying about money. Not only that, but also have a very nice house in an expensive neighbourhood, send his three teenage kids to good schools, and, also, make frequent family trips to different parts of the world.

That's why Zowie rolled her eyes every time her father used that argument on her. She was sure William knew she could easily refute his argument, but Zowie knew nothing good would come out of discussing such matters with her dad. It was almost as they had some sort of silent, unspoken agreement that allowed them to avoid such a complex subject.

Still, that tolerant agreement didn't buy Zowie a car, and since she didn't have a job, her possibilities of having a vehicle of her own before she turned thirty seemed unlikely. With that thought in mind, Zowie readied herself to enjoy her friend's company while it lasted. Once Brooke was off the bus, Zowie would have to busy herself with Oscar Wilde's _"The Picture of Dorian Gray"_ , which she was reading for her English class.

"Have you chosen your clothes for tonight?" Zowie asked, and Brooke nodded enthusiastically as she fixed the lose strands of hair the strong wind had blown out of her ponytail.

"Remember that blue dress we bought together a while ago?" When Zowie nodded, Brooke carried on. "I'm wearing that, and matching shoes. I just hope not to freeze to death with this damn weather!" Then, curiosity shining on her face, she turned to her friend. "Did your parents see yours? You haven't decided to change it, have you?"

Zowie's calm face didn't falter at the many implications in Brooke's words.

"No, I haven't. And my parents can't say a thing, because they haven't seen it. Yet."

Disbelief was painted on Brooke's face at Zowie's sudden, and above all, calm revelation.

"But... your dad..."

"Yes, he'll freak out, I know. If it were up to him, I should wear nothing but a potato sack at all times," Zowie shook her head in disgust at the mental picture.

"So it dressed to impress, then?" Brooke grinned mischievously at her.

Giving her friend a sided look, Zowie returned the gesture, her whole expression glowing with pure mirth.

"Definitely. I'm not wasting this chance, B... If I have to sprinkle my father's drink and put him to sleep for the rest of the night, I will. He's been working so hard, no one would be surprised."

Brooke couldn't help but laugh at the top of her lungs at the amusing, almost evil look in Zowie's face. Knowing her friend as well as she did, Brooke knew it'd be wise to keep an eye on her during the night.

"Well, I don't think he'd be that mad at you, you know? I mean, last time he and I talked over the phone, he was anything but excited about this party."

Brooke's innocent words made Zowie's blue eyes burn with frustration.

"Oh, but I bet he didn't tell you _why_ he's not that excited." When Brooke shook her head, Zowie let out a loud sigh. "It's so damn frustrating, Brooke! You know what's wrong? My dad still doesn't quite trust Orlando. And what's even worse, he doesn't trust me when Orlando is around, so he would much rather lock me up inside the house tonight than let me anywhere near the actors. Or at least _one_ of them. Although he's not quite happy with any of them, I think."

"Umm... isn't he overreacting just a tiny little bit?" Brooke looked puzzled and somewhat frustrated, understanding her friend's feelings perfectly without any further elaboration. "I mean, your dad is always around, and there are times when you can't even be at the training altogether. Besides, it's not like you meet Orlando outside the hall every single day!"

Zowie huffed angrily at that, her square jaw becoming all the more noticeable as she grew tense, clenching her teeth together.

"Exactly! I haven't... not even once. Damn it," Zowie's face showed how devastating the thought was. Then, as if her spirits were suddenly lifted by some incredible, infallible idea, a broad smile illuminated her face. "But no more, B... no more. After tonight, there's no way Orlando will be able to resist me. Everything is going to change from now on, I swear."

Her determined words brought Brooke a feeling of uneasiness. She knew how stubborn Zowie could be and how easily she forgot all dangers and considerations when she set her mind on something.

"You know what, Zowie? Every time you do one of those oaths of yours, I grow scared."

"I just have to take the risk, Brooke!" Zowie couldn't believe her friend didn't get her point. "Yes, Orlando will be here for what now seems like a long time, but if everything goes well, I'll be leaving Wellington in January, and that's only five months away! I have no time to waste, and I can't let my father get in the way with that silly, overprotective attitude of his. He just doesn't understand, B. I know he suspects I have something up my sleeve, but even if he kicks me out of the training, I'll still win if I get Orlando. Once we're together, my dad won't be able to do a single thing about it."

"And your mum?"

Zowie bit her lip nervously. Now that could mean some serious, serious trouble.

"Well, let's just hope she stays blissfully unaware of this. She never quite approved of Jeremy, remember? I can see why, though," Zowie giggled. The moment Orlando had entered her life, all other men that had been a part of it before had faded in the dark. To her eyes, they all paled in comparison to the young actor. Becoming serious once again, she gave her friend a worried look. "I don't think she would approve of Orlando either... in fact, I'm _sure_ she wouldn't. But you know how she is, she always takes much longer than dad to approve of anything, especially a boyfriend. If only I could get my dad to take my side, everything would be a lot easier," Brooke nodded, and Zowie remained in a thoughtful silence for a few seconds while she pondered the odds. With a tired sigh, she finally added, "Not that it would mean much of a change, anyway. And if my mum was angry... now _that_ would be bad!"

Brooke shivered at the comment. Countless times Zowie had been subjected to house arrest after sneaking out, or doing something equally bad in Noemie's books. It was the thought of said events that got her lost in her musings for a few seconds before talking again.

"Don't do anything stupid this time, please, Zowie?" Brooke's plea caught her off guard. "I just... I have a bad feeling about this whole thing. It's not about the party," she hurried to add when Zowie seemed ready to interrupt. "I'm sure nothing will go wrong tonight. It's just that you seem... you _are_ so determined to get Orlando, no matter the cost, that I can't help but worry. Don't get mad at me, but please don't lose your focus, okay? I mean, there are more important things in your life than this guy, and I'd hate to see you in trouble. Promise me that you'll be careful. Please."

Zowie stared at Brooke, not sure what to think of her friend's fervent plea. While her inner rebelliousness tried to unleash a storm at the implications, she managed to calm it before it even started. It wasn't that Zowie didn't appreciate Brooke's concern; in fact, if given the same situation, she would probably ask the same from her. However, it was in that instant that Zowie understood that she couldn't be completely honest with her friend. Yes, she would definitely try to stay out of _serious_ trouble, but Zowie couldn't promise not to try everything within her reach to get what she wanted; not when she felt she actually had a chance. Putting on her best smile in Brooke's benefit, Zowie spoke.

"I solemnly swear to stay out of serious trouble, Brooke." Turning her smile into a cheeky one, she added, "And if it turns out it's nice trouble, I'll give you a call, okay?"

Both girls laughed, but although Brooke's laughter sounded lighter and sincere, Zowie had the feeling her own sounded forced and contrived, almost too loud to sound natural. She didn't want to lie to her best friend, hated to, but her determination was so great, nothing would stand in her way. Not even her friend's best intentions.

What Zowie didn't know, though, was that Brooke too felt her laughter, her pretended relief even, was much too fake. She knew Zowie, she knew how hot-headed she could be and how she always jumped into action before even considering thinking about the matter. Invariably, she would always get into trouble. It had never been anything serious, but this time, Zowie seemed so focused, so determined, Brooke couldn't help but feel a little worried. Or a lot, to be precise.

She had met Orlando, albeit briefly, and while he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, Brooke was more concerned about Zowie's intentions than Orlando's. While Zowie had made no effort to conceal her interest, Orlando had been different. Sure, he was friendly, polite, and funny, but something told Brooke Orlando's interest was placed on the opposite end from Zowie's. If anything, he seemed perfectly fine with being just friends, something Zowie refused to see.

In the last possible second, Brooke stopped a frown from clouding her face. If Zowie didn't see Orlando's true feelings towards her soon, she would be hurt. And, considering the determination, obsession even, that drove her, it would mean lots of pain.

Brooke had tried to give Zowie the first signals that maybe not everything was as she expected, but Zowie hadn't picked up on them. Most likely, she didn't _want_ to see them. For the time being, there wasn't much Brooke could do. She didn't want to see her friend hurt, so something inside her hoped that the party that night would give Zowie a glimpse of the reality she was so skilfully ignoring, at least before things got much, much worse. Brooke hated herself for wanting that, but she preferred Zowie to go through a disappointment she would soon overcome than to suffer through a pain that would leave her scarred for life.

With those thoughts in mind, Brooke tried to put up her best smile when she pointed to their left, towards a sight that was barely visible through the rain and fogged windows.

"Oh, did I mention that my father has fixed his boat? We can go sailing again as soon as the weather improves. If it ever does, that is."

Zowie smiled, welcoming the distraction her friend's comment brought, not sure she could hold the façade in place much longer. Smiling, her mind drifted with images of her and Orlando on Brooke's boat on a sunny, hot summer day, and not many clothes involved. Keeping that mental picture in mind, Zowie effortlessly followed the conversation as it diverted to much safer matters, such as school, and it wasn't long until Brooke said her goodbyes before jumping out the bus.

Once alone, Zowie looked around. The windows were still fogged and rain still fell over Wellington, which meant the sights outside were not an option for the day. Taking her copy of _'The Picture of Dorian Gray'_ from her bag, she found the page where she had left her reading last night and quickly got lost in the novel. There wasn't much of it left, so with a bit of luck, she would probably be done with it before she reached her destination, half an hour away from there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6.**

Zowie considered herself a very lucky girl when she jumped off the bus at Nevay Road, overlooking Worser Bay, and rain had stopped falling. Of course, it was still a far cry from a nice, sunny day as it should be with spring just around the corner, but as long as rain didn't soak her wet, Zowie could deal with it. In fact, in spite of the rather cool wind that blew from the bay, the gray sky above her and the wet pavement below were a sight she knew well. Zowie had to admit the scenery had its charm. Just like Hataitai, and pretty much the rest of Wellington, Miramar was built on the characteristic steep hills that rolled into the Pacific Ocean, making an impressive sight as multicoloured houses and big patches of greenery dotted the whole place.

WETA studios -the headquarters to the whole production-, also housed the training facilities, and while it wasn't too far away, Zowie decided it would be wise to hurry up in case more rain decided to grace Wellington with its presence. Making her way up the steep road, she shivered when the cool wind blew under her school uniform and bit at the tender flesh of her legs. Muttering grumpy words under her breath, Zowie managed to hold the skirt in place before making a show of herself.

Forecast for that night had been clear: cold. As simple as that. Since a warm night was obviously out of the question, would it be too much to ask for the wind to disappear? Otherwise, Zowie would find herself having the exact same problem as Brooke: risking freezing to death. She had to admit, though, that not even the coldest night in the year would stop her from wearing the clothes she had chosen for the night. Dress to impress, Brooke had said, and damn right she was!

Reaching Camperdown Street, Zowie swung her bag over her shoulder and, checking no cars came in her direction, she trotted her way to the opposite sidewalk. Like she had told Brooke, she doubted her father would be the least surprised to see her there. If she knew William well, he was probably checking his watch right now, calculating the time it took for her to get from Thorndon to Miramar. He knew Zowie hated to miss any chance to work with the actors, so when she mentioned the possibility of a visit before heading to school with Jewell, the smile on her dad's face hadn't really taken her by surprise.

As she reached the studios, disappointment fell on Zowie's shoulders when she spotted the telling signs of raindrops on the grey sidewalk. She shook her head. So much for thinking at least the rain would go away! Would she need to make a sacrifice to some obscure god to have an uneventful evening, at least when it came to weather? As much as she sometimes loved the rain, Zowie could very well do without it that particular day.

However, her frown vanished and her face lit up the moment she spotted Orlando's car parked just a few meters down the street. He hadn't left yet, and that was enough to lift her spirits. Time was ticking by, and before long, the actors' training would be over and shooting would take place, taking them to the most unexpected places all over the country. Her father would be involved, travelling along as part of the crew, but that also meant Orlando would be taken away from her for extended periods of time, leaving her unable to do anything about it. Sure, Zowie could try and make short, quick trips whenever University allowed her to, but what would happen during the rest of the time?

Zowie shivered at the implications. How long would it take before Orlando met other girls? He was handsome, and Zowie couldn't expect him to go unnoticed, not even when in character. She had seen him donning his Legolas' wardrobe a few days ago, and the elven look fitted him so very well, there was no way he would go unnoticed to the many women that would be around once shooting began. That's why she had to hurry. Every second counted, and Zowie had to make sure they were spent the way she wanted, and that they had the desired effect.

While Orlando still hadn't quite fell captive to her charm, Zowie didn't lose her hopes. She could see in his eyes that flicker of interest, of attraction, that kept her dreams from shattering to pieces. He only needed a nudge, and she was giving it to him that night. If everything went as planned, the party would be the start of a new, exciting phase in Zowie's life. One with Orlando beside her.

For a brief second, Brooke's words echoed in Zowie's mind. _'Please, don't do anything stupid!'_. Zowie didn't consider that any of her actions could be labelled as such, and while she resented her friend's advise, she knew Brooke meant well.

Yet, at the same time, Zowie couldn't help but think Brooke had no idea what it was like to love someone the way she loved Orlando. Zowie could try and explain it, but Brooke would never understand it completely. Nonetheless, she knew her friend loved her and that she meant well. Brooke's concern didn't quite sit well with her, but that was something she could handle, and that would never ruin their friendship.

Lost in thought about Brooke's worry, Zowie waved at the security guard with a tiny little smile as she walked into the hall. However, the moment she heard the clattering sound of sword clashing against sword, her good mood was swiftly restored. That familiar, beloved sound welcomed her as she silently opened the door and stared at the scene from the back, not wanting to be underfoot.

Everyone seemed to be there: Orlando, Liv, Stuart, Sean, Elijah, the other Hobbits, everyone... all of them training hard in whatever speciality they would be showing in the movies. On one end of the hall, Sean and Stuart studied Geoff attentively, broadswords in hand as they hoped to learn every trick they were being taught. Not far away from them, Liv followed William's smooth moves, imitating him with great care. As for the others, they worked with the rest of William's assistants, but Zowie paid little attention to them. Instead, her blue eyes scanned the room, finding Orlando practising how to remove his 'stand in' knives, as he called them, smoothly from their scabbards on his back. It seemed very simple to an untrained eye, but she knew how hard it would be for him to do it when in full costume with a long, flowing wig getting in the way every single time.

Out of the corner of her eye, Zowie spotted her father staring at her and waved at him, knowing very well she couldn't get underfoot. Smiling at William, her attention soon focused on Orlando until a familiar voice interrupted her daydreaming.

"Ditching school for work? I never thought I'd see the day!"

Zowie's lips stretched in a wide smile before she turned to meet Elijah's incredibly blue eyes.

"For your information, I didn't ditch," Zowie said, feigning an offended tone in her voice. Then, with a cheeky smile, she added. "Had I ditched, I would have been here a lot earlier!"

Elijah grinned, moving closer to her with a sword she hadn't seen before in his right hand.

"Workaholic much?"

At his words, Zowie let out a dramatic sigh and put on what she hoped was a sickeningly sweet look.

"I can't help it, Lij. I can't hide it any longer... I'm only here to see you. Are you happy now that my darkest secret has been laid out in the open?"

Elijah laughed.

"Very!" Then, moving closer to her, he added in a tone of shared conspiracy. "Should we warn your dad we're considering eloping, or just send him a notification of the wedding?"

"Whatever makes him freak out the most is fine with me."

Still smiling, Elijah leaned on the wall behind them, a sparkle in his eyes.

"Still coming to the party tonight?" he asked and Zowie smiled.

"Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss it for the world, not after how much it took me to convince my dad to let me attend!"

"That's cool. It wouldn't be the same without you," as if having said something he didn't mean to, Elijah continued. "I mean, you're one of us now... it'd be strange not to have you there!"

Elijah's words pleased Zowie to no end, making her like him even more than she already did. Elijah was adorable, a really nice guy, and they had got along great from the moment they had said _'hi_ to each other. With him being the one actor in her same age group, barely a year older, a great relationship was developing between them, and Zowie knew she'd be seeking Elijah's company often during his stay in New Zealand. Besides, Zowie had the feeling that, had Orlando not come first, she could have developed an insane crush on Elijah. Instead, they were slowly becoming friends, and she loved the idea.

"Did my dad say anything about an early call today? With the party and all, I was hoping he'd let you leave at least half an hour earlier."

Elijah shrugged, his expressive eyes showing his ignorance about the matter.

"So far, he hasn't said a thing... a little break wouldn't be that bad, though. I've got to look good for the party."

Zowie laughed at that.

"And it takes a lot of effort, doesn't it?"

"Almost as much as it takes you to look good."

Zowie grinned at that, her ego flying high. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted her father dismissing all his students. Giving Elijah a smile and a quick goodbye for the time being, Zowie quickly found her way to the changing rooms, meeting Liv there. Of course, Liv wasn't exactly the person she wanted to see, but Zowie imagined she wouldn't be welcomed in the men's changing room at that moment. So, chatting with Liv, Zowie let the time pass and, once she heard some of the men noisily leaving the dressing room, she took a peek outside, finding Orlando standing there with a look of wonder in his eyes at the big, black box on his hands. The marvelled expression on his face made Zowie's heart skip a beat.

"Hi there," she said, catching his attention. Smiling, Orlando motioned her to approach him.

"Take a look at this, they're incredible!"

Curious, Zowie closed the distance between them with a few steps, her eyes glowing with curiosity. Then, the minute she stood next to Orlando, her expression mirrored his own. Gasping in surprise, she couldn't help but reach out her hand.

"Oh my God, they look great!" she said reverently, her eyes cherishing Legolas' real white knives, the ones Orlando would use during the shooting. They were sleek and flawless, and her expert eye admired them critically, unable to find a single flaw in them. "Oh, you're going to have _so_ much fun with these!"

Orlando grinned at her, his brown eyes sparkling with excitement.

"I just hope I won't break them. Or worse."

"Nonsense," she said, resting her hand on his arm and giving him a reassuring smile. "When did you get them?"

"About five minutes ago?" he answered, his obvious delight making her laugh. "Your dad thought it'd be good for me to train with them from now on, to get used to the actual weapons I'll be using. It's a good thing they're blunt, though... knowing me, it could all end in a disaster!"

Grinning, Zowie shook her head to let him know she thought he was still talking nonsense. Orlando might not be an expert, couldn't possibly be with just a few short weeks of training, but she was sure that, with the hard work waiting ahead, he would learn to use these knives and his bow the way the character demanded him to.

Sliding one tentative finger down the hilt of one knife, Zowie couldn't help but let enthusiasm and wonder filter in her voice.

"God, it's so firm... and so smooth!"

At those words, William, who was walking past, stopped dead in his tracks, only a door separating him from Zowie. He had no idea what was going on, but something in his daughter's voice made all his protective instincts come alive.

"Come on, touch it... don't be scared!"

Orlando! The young man's teasing words made William's eyes begin to blur with a dangerous red haze. Zowie's shocked gasp only increased the feeling, but nothing was as bad as the words that left his daughter's lips next.

"Scared, me? Are you kidding me?" For some reason, those words were the most unsettling ones William had heard in his entire life.

A short silence fell on the nearby room before Zowie spoke again.

"It's warm... you've been playing with it?"

With thousands of the most incriminating scenarios playing in his mind; most of them involving Orlando, Zowie, and activities William considered completely inappropriate for a seventeen-year-old girl, he stormed through the door, a broadsword tightly gripped in his hand. In that minute, it didn't matter that the sword was blunt; if the images his mind had conjured were right, William would find the painful action of a blunt sword very satisfactory.

However, the sight that met him was far from those that still flashed before his angry eyes. Orlando had both hands far away from Zowie's body, and while William's daughter was caught in the act, that act was very innocent: she held one of the White Knives in her hand and had been admiring its beauty until her father stormed in.

Blinking, Zowie stared at the menacing image of William standing by the door, sword in hand. Puzzled as to what could have triggered that behaviour, she asked.

"Umm... is there something wrong, dad?" When she noticed her father staring at the knife, her mouth formed a silent O, realising how important these props could be. "I shouldn't be fooling around with this, right?"

It took William a couple more seconds to register Zowie's words and to connect with the reality of what was really going on before him. Throwing another look at Orlando, William found such a blank, innocent expression in the young man's face, he knew he had been awfully wrong. Blushing, if only slightly, he avoided Zowie's eyes.

"What? Umm... no, it's fine. It's okay, don't worry," he stammered. Then, giving her a more composed look, he added. "Would you mind taking a cab home? I have some things to talk about with Pete."

Zowie shook her head.

"No, it's okay. I have my cell here, I'll call for a cab, don't worry. Just don't forget to be home in time to pick me and Brooke up for the party, okay?"

William rolled his eyes, already retreating from the changing room.

"As if you'd let me forget about it!"

Putting on an embarrassed smile, he left Zowie and Orlando behind staring at each other with questioning looks until she shrugged, letting him know she didn't quite understand her dad's actions either.

"Why don't you let me drive you home?" Orlando offered as Zowie put the knife back in its place. "It's early, and I'm sure you have lots to do before tonight's party."

Zowie could have jumped into his arms. As if she would say no a proposal like that!

"That'd be great! A girl needs her beautification time," she said with a big smile.

Orlando snorted, holding the box under his arm.

"As if you needed it!"

If Zowie had been anywhere else and not in front of Orlando, she would have fainted at his words. He thought she was beautiful! Well, maybe not exactly beautiful, but at least pretty, or attractive! Those simple words cemented her intentions more than anything that had happened between them before.

Suddenly, everything seemed a lot easier. Orlando thought her pretty; he wanted to spend some time alone with her... maybe that night they would have their first kiss? Zowie reluctantly put a hold on her reeling thoughts. Should she take it slow, or should she let things happen? The latter seemed more convenient, but so hard to achieve! Maybe now that Orlando's intentions were obvious, Brooke would understand there was nothing wrong with acting that way.

Smiling at her, Orlando tilted his head towards the door.

"Shall we?"

Zowie nodded, suddenly silent. She was afraid that, should she do as much as open her lips, she would scream out loud with utter joy. However, scaring Orlando away was the last thing on her mind, so Zowie took some deep breaths, trying to soothe herself. They would have plenty of time to talk in the car... and during the party... and hopefully, for the rest of their lives!

The car was cold when they jumped in, but Orlando quickly turned on both the heater and the radio. Having taken Zowie's bag, he put it away on the backseat and smiled as she found her favourite radio station.

They drove through Wellington in the midst of a carefree conversation, with Zowie telling him stories about the city. She knew a lot and was very proud of her country, city and heritage, and Orlando had the feeling he would learn more from her about Wellington's way of life than from anyone else. Zowie was an enjoyable companion, and while he had determined to remain just friends with her, her warmth, her openness and above all, her attractive, were irresistible to him.

The moment Britney Spears' _'Baby One More Time'_ came on the radio and Zowie started singing along, he couldn't help but smile. She didn't have a particularly good singing voice, but that didn't stop her, which made her all the more endearing. Focused on the dark street ahead, Zowie's words went unnoticed to him at first.

"Sorry?"

Zowie smiled at his obvious distraction.

"I was saying... I wish my school uniform were a bit more like Britney's. I mean, look at this, it's so... ugly! And the skirt is too long. Maybe if I rolled it up a little..." the moment her actions echoed her words and the pleated skirt, being rolled up, bared the soft, pale skin of her delectable thighs to his suddenly very interested eyes, Orlando almost lost control of the car. Pushing the breaks and making the tires screech on the pavement, he turned to her with a wide eyed look.

"Whoa! Wait a second... what are you doing?"

While the sight was more than appealing, Orlando couldn't let his eyes feast on it any further if he wanted to remain in "just friends" terms with her. Blushing, he stared at the street ahead, torn between the need to see more and the relief that he hadn't crashed the car against a tree.

"Don't be afraid, I won't get naked in your car," Zowie said with a mischievous grin. "Unless you want me to, of course."

The moment Orlando threw her a nasty look, Zowie laughed, her clear laughter sending shivers down his spine. God, this had been an awful idea! Out of the corner of his eye, Orlando saw how Zowie pulled the skirt back into place, hiding those legs that had sparked his imagination. How would he ever stop thinking about them now, from seeing her soft legs whenever he looked at her? What was worse, Zowie would probably know what he was thinking, would see it in his eyes if he didn't erase that thought from his memory right away.

Before he could say anything else, Zowie instructed him to turn left, and her house came into view. With a smile that belied her previous antics, Zowie picked up her bag.

"I'll see you later, then. I'll be the girl in the black mini skirt."

Posing a quick kiss on his cheek, Zowie quickly jumped out of the car and was out of his sight before Orlando could even react.

Mini skirt? He groaned, throwing his head back against the headrest. God helped him!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7.**

 

_"_ _Long hair, blue eyes_

_she drives me crazy_ _"_

**_Aerosmith - Simoriah_ **

"Zowie... wow! You look great!"

Studying her reflection on her full length mirror with critical eyes, Zowie had to admit that, this time,  Brooke was absolutely right. If she didn't knock Orlando off his feet that night, bringing him to his knees with promises of undying love, Zowie vowed to become a nun in the most secluded convent in the whole world. However, another close look at herself told Zowie she had little to worry about. No one could resist her that night; not even Orlando.

The reflection the mirror offered her pleased Zowie to no end, for she could see now that all the hard work had paid off. First of all, there was the makeup which focused on her blue eyes. Carefully following the advise found in Cosmopolitan, Zowie had succeeded on creating a dark, smoky effect that brought out the intense blue of her eyes, making them look inviting and captivating. Her full lips were adorned with a soft pink lip gloss that she hoped made them appear irresistible. Her hair, long and shiny, flowed in soft waves down her back, the bright light of her room bringing out the dark blond shade in it.

Then, as her eyes moved lower, Zowie's cheeky smile grew wider. Her black top was rather simple, but by no means plain or boring. With a silvery pattern embroidered on its front, the fabric clung to her curves, enough to highlight her breasts in a way subtle enough not to cause William a heart attack.

Meanwhile, the rest of her wardrobe achieved the same effect. True to the promise made to Orlando, a black mini skirt exposed most of her long, shapely legs. Now that she had seen the effect the sight had on Orlando, Zowie was determined to use what Mother Nature had blessed her with in her favour. Which was great, considering Zowie was particularly proud of her legs. On one hand, a combination of her mum's genes, along with the few extra inches handed down to Zowie through her Hart heritage, had graced her with long legs she knew were appealing to many men. Including Orlando, she thought with a grin. On the other hand, a whole life devoted to sports, one spent climbing the steep hills of Wellington, had given her legs a muscular tone that had contributed to make them shapely and firm. How could Zowie _not_ show them off that way?

The final touch in her wardrobe was the black leather, knee-length boots she had bought during a shopping spree with Brooke on the days prior to the party. It hadn't been easy to smuggle her purchase into the house without anyone noticing, but in the end, Zowie had succeeded, hiding the black box under a pile of old school books in the darkest corner of her closet. Now they were out, and knowing they wouldn't go unnoticed, Zowie already had the perfect excuse on hand: she would pretend to have borrowed them from a friend from school.

Zowie sighed. She didn't think her parents would complain about the boots per se; well, her dad easily could. Instead, she was sure they would lecture her on the amount of money spent on them. Which would remain forever unknown, of course. William and Noemie didn't need to know that the latter's mother saw nothing wrong in her eldest granddaughter getting some new, exciting footwear. Everything was for a good cause, Zowie mused, and the moment she and Orlando were a couple, they would laugh together at her antics.

A moment that could come as soon as that same night, Zowie realised with excitement bubbling inside her. She could already picture it... and could barely hold herself back. She wanted it all, and she wanted it now!

Turning back to her friend, Zowie gave her a confident smile.

"Think we can seduce some hunky actors tonight?"

Smoothing her flattering blue dress down, Brooke grinned, her face glowing with mischief.

"I think we can." Standing next to Zowie in front of the mirror, she added. "I'll declare all those guys gay if we don't get, at the very least, an interested look tonight!"

Zowie laughed, bringing Brooke closer so they could look at themselves in the mirror. With that bright blue dress that followed her every curve, and that made her colouring stand out in a very flattering way, Brooke looked absolutely stunning. It wasn't a secret that Zowie hoped her friend would also find an actor for herself. Most of them were too old, but Dominic and Elijah... Zowie kept her fingers crossed the latter would meet Brooke and be completely smitten with her. While Elijah was adorable and Zowie loved being friends with him, she wasn't sure of the effect his obvious interest would have on Orlando. Would he feel discouraged by that, or would it simply reinforce the attraction he felt for her when noticing someone else wanted her too? Zowie couldn't know and, until she found out the way Orlando reasoned, she preferred to keep herself away from trouble. Despite how nice flirting with Elijah could be, she thought with a bit of disappointment.

The girls were busy giving themselves one last, thorough look in the mirror when a quick knock on the door made them jump in their spot.

"Are you ready, girls?" Noemie asked through the door. "Zowie, your dad says you will all be late if you don't leave now."

"In a minute!" Zowie called back, picking up her purse and long black coat. Turning to Brooke, she spoke in a conspiring tone. "Ready to knock some actors off their feet?"

Brooke grinned.

"Definitely!"

Laughing joyfully, both girls walked out of Zowie's room. However, out of all the careful planning Zowie had done, she hadn't counted on William sharing his disapproval at her clothes with the world in such a loud manner.

"For God's sake, Zowie! What on Earth are you wearing?"

With one arm inside her long coat and the other stopped mid action, Zowie stared at her father with a puzzled look.

"What are you talking about, dad?" She knew she couldn't expect an easy, uneventful approval, but... this? Wasn't it a bit too much?

William's blue eyes widened as his cheeks reddened with shock.

"I'm talking about that... that _skirt_ that you're wearing!" He said, pointing at her clothes as if they were evil. "There is absolutely _no way_ you're leaving this house in those clothes, you hear me? Go get changed before I leave without you, no matter how much kicking and screaming you do."

Zowie gasped, clenching her jaws together at her father's words. She hadn't spent long hours creating a good look just to have him freaking out over a simple skirt!

"Dad, it's just a mini skirt... everybody wears them!" She pointed out while buttoning up her coat, a silent message to William that said _'I am not changing my clothes!'_.

"Just a mini skirt," William echoed, posing his hands on his hips. Then, having just noticed them, he pointed at her footwear with a shocked expression. "And where on Earth did you get those boots?"

"Why do you want to know, so you can lock me up until I'm sixty?" The whole argument was ridiculous. Wasn't he in such a hurry to leave just minutes ago?

"Exactly!" William responded in the same angry tone. "Are they yours? Do you really want to look like a tramp?"

Zowie gasped.

"A tramp?" she stepped closer to her father, hoping to intimidate him. "Thanks for calling my friends that, dad. They're Ashley's, not mine!"

William shrugged.

"Whoever they are, you better change into something more decent, or I'm attending this party on my own, and you will be stuck here with nothing to do but your homework for the rest of the year. And you can say goodbye to the training too!"

That was enough to have Zowie recoiling for a second. She understood her dad could get a bit overprotective; that she could deal with. Yet, the moment he got so angry that he started threatening her one chance to spend time with Orlando, almost as if he knew what she was up to, she knew there was a lot at stake there.

Still, she couldn't give in so easily.

"Dad, I have nothing else to wear!"

William snorted.

"Nonsense. You have more clothes than you even know. You have five minutes to change into something decent, or you can forget about this party."

Huffing angrily, Zowie stormed back into her room. Brooke, giving Zowie's dad an apologetic look, followed her closely, closing the door behind them just to find her friend going through her wardrobe with a furious gleam in her eyes.

"I hate him!" Zowie muttered under her breath as she tried to find something to wear, although every item in her closet looked horrible to her in that very moment. "He's ruining everything, Brooke!"

Always the peacemaker of the two, Brooke tried to cool her friend's anger a little before trying to reason with her.

"There has to be something you can wear, I'm sure," Brooke said. Then, her eyes sparkling with realisation, she started rummaging through her friend's closet on her own. "What about those cool black pants you bought last month for your cousin's birthday? They looked great on you!"

"Trousers, B?" Zowie asked angrily. "They'll ruin everything!"

"Not if you keep the boots on!" Brooke pointed out, finally finding the trousers she had been looking for and handing them to her friend. "They might not be a mini skirt, but they fit you perfectly, and they show off your legs just as well, if not better, than the skirt. Besides, your dad saw you wearing these already and didn't say a thing, which means he couldn't exactly complain now!"

Although she still wanted to fight, Zowie had to see the reason in Brooke's words. It wasn't the same, but knowing what she was risking, maybe it was time to leave her pride aside and give in... if only just for this time.

Quickly taking off her coat, she swiftly got rid of her skirt before sliding the black, satiny trousers up. Turning to give herself a careful look in the mirror, Zowie had to admit her friend was right. While not as openly sexy as the mini skirt, the black trousers could be easily labelled as sensual. While not skin tight, they outlined her every curve and were very flattering to her body. Turning to her friend with a smile, she hugged her tight before, once again, reaching for her purse and coat.

"I owe you one, B," she said with a sincere smile. "You're amazing. I promise you'll be my maid of honour the day I marry Orlando, if this whole thing goes well!"

Brooke smiled, but braced herself as they came out of the room to meet William's final judgement. If that failed, Brooke didn't want to imagine the storm that would hit the Hart's household when Zowie let her frustration roam free.

"Well?" Zowie asked, holding out her arms and waiting for her dad's approval with a rather defiant look in her eyes.

While William still fumed over his daughter's rebelliousness, he only nodded briefly before walking out the door to get the car. Smiling triumphantly at her friend, Zowie gave her mother a quick kiss on her cheek and a loud goodbye before she and Brooke left the house and literally jumped into the car. As Zowie fastened her seat belt in the front seat, she turned to give her friend a conspiring look. In return, Brooke gave her both thumbs up. Zowie grinned. This would be one amazing night, she was sure of that!

 

***

 

It couldn't be said that the party was in full swing by the moment William, Brooke and Zowie arrived, but it was definitely on its way. There were so many people around, crowding Peter's house as well as the tent set up in the garden, that the newcomers busily scanned the place, looking for any familiar faces.

In William's case, he was the first one to find who he was looking for. Spotting the host and his wife in the distance, waving persistently at him, he turned to Zowie with a cautious look.

"Can I trust you to behave tonight?" He asked, posing his hands on her shoulders and lowering his face until it was level with hers.

Zowie rolled her eyes, knowing very well she had the upper hand. What could her father do now, anyway? Send her home? She was already there, despite his outburst. If William hadn't wanted to bring her in the first place, Zowie would have probably never made it past her house's front door.

"Dad, trust me. I know how to behave. I've been educated by the best."

At her rather sarcastic comment, William rolled his eyes in a way that was very much Zowie's, denoting the similarity between them.

"Yes, right," he squeezed Zowie's shoulders. "In case you've learned anything at all, of course."

Zowie grinned, knowing very well William didn't mean a single word he said. He was only putting on a show, and if that made him happy, then she could deal with it. If it also made him leave her side in that instant, all the better. Zowie needed all the time she could get to put all her tactics and strategies to practice without worrying about her dad looking over shoulder.

"I swear I shall make you proud, father," she joked, doing a little curtsy as she spoke. "You won't hear a bad thing about me, I promise. There's no need to worry, just go... have some fun. Just remember not to drink too much, okay?"

Giving her a stern look, William turned on his heels and walked away, all the while shaking his head. With her heart thumping in her chest, Zowie felt anticipation coursing her body. _'This is it,'_ she told to herself as she gripped Brooke's hand tight. That was the night when all her plans would come to fruition, when Orlando would fall at her feet, confessing her love, when-

"Behave, all right?"

William's inopportune words felt like a bucket of ice cold water, interrupting all the delightful images playing on Zowie's mind and shattering them to pieces. Annoyed, she managed to roll her eyes, sigh, and lower her shoulders in defeat, all at the same time. Then, giving William her best _"leave me alone, you're embarrassing me"_ look, Zowie turned around and walked away, dragging Brooke along with her.

"Where are we going? I mean, do you have any idea where they are?" Brooke asked, her blue eyes curiously scanning a crowd that, for her, was full of unfamiliar faces. While she had met some of the actors thanks to Zowie, none of those she knew seemed to be around.

"I don't know, but we'll never find them if we don't look for them, right? I have the feeling that, wherever they are, they're all together," Zowie said as her eyes skimmed over the party goers, looking for that face she had grown to know so well. "They've got close, you know? According to Orlando, that's great... after all, they'll be spending the next year and a half together, and it'd be horrible if they just hated each other."

Brooke couldn't argue the wisdom in Zowie's words. For her, spending such a long period of time working with someone she couldn't stand felt like the worst torture possible. Of course, attending an all girls' school could be just as hard, but it was something she had learned to deal with over time. However, for people who had to work together, interact with each other for hours and hours each day... she shivered a little. Now _that_ was something she should keep in mind if she honestly wanted to devote her life to acting!

Not paying much attention to the thoughtful look on Brooke's face, Zowie attentively searched through the crowd, absently waving at some people she knew and that required some sort of salutation from her. However, not willing to waste any time on people she wasn't interested in, she just smiled at them, did a courteous little wave and kept on walking without a single look back. Why waste time on them when there was a far more interesting target on her mind?

The moment the girls set foot in the big tent set up in Peter's garden, the sound of loud, joyful laughter welcomed them. Sharing a curious look, they then tried to find the source of the obvious amusement. While Zowie, becoming a little annoyed at not getting what she wanted, stood on her tiptoes and glanced around unsuccessfully, it was Brooke who, thanks to a small group of people parting ways before her, spotted the group of raucous actors in the distance. Drinks in hand, they seemed to all be talking at the same time and yet, listening closely to whatever the others said. All in all, they pictured the image of the comradery Zowie had mentioned just minutes ago.

Knowing by the way she looked in every direction that Zowie was getting anxious, Brooke gently nudged her friend in the ribs. When Zowie turned to her with a slightly annoyed look, all Brooke needed to do to bring a smile to her face was point at the loud group standing only a few meters away. Letting her eyes follow the direction her friend pointed, Zowie's slightly nervous look soon faded, quickly turning into a bright, relieved smile that brightened up her whole face. Giving Brooke a happy smile and a quick hug as a token of her gratitude, Zowie once again took her hand and led her through the crowd.

"There you are! I've been looking all over the place for you guys!"

Just as Zowie had expected, all heads turned in hers and Brooke's direction at her words. With a proud smile, Zowie noticed how, of all eyes, Orlando's fell on her, appreciatively taking in the sight she presented. She couldn't know what he was thinking, since his eyes were partially hid in the shadows that darkened his face, but Zowie was sure he didn't find the sight unattractive.

If only she could have worn her mini skirt! That would have been the perfect touch on such an amazing night. Sadly, there was no mini skirt to aid her, but Zowie wasn't scared to do it all on her own. She had seen the half lustful, half shocked look in Orlando's eyes that evening when she had rolled up her skirt, and she intended to capitalise on that. Maybe not that night, but hopefully, sooner rather than later.

"Well, well... who would have guessed? Our dear Zowie is a girl!"

Stuart's teasing comment elicited another round of raucous laughter from his cast mates, and an amused roll of her eyes from Zowie. Shaking her head, she poked her tongue at him, having quickly learned how much he enjoyed making teasing comments at her.

"Are you telling me you hadn't noticed before? Jeez, Stuart... getting a bit old, aren't we?" Grinning angelically at him, she added. "Does it happen often? I mean, not noticing when you have a girl standing before you? I'd be careful if I were you... God knows what kind of thing you will be taking on a date next!"

When a round of taunting "oh"s reached her ears, Zowie knew she had succeeded. Stuart, on the other hand, having found a worthy sparring partner, was not going to allow her to defeat him so easily. Letting out a dramatic sigh, he finally said.

"Don't worry, Zow... I promise I'll take you out on a date one day, okay? No need to get all catty on me."

Zowie laughed, her tinkling laughter echoing around her.

"Are you calling me a thing?"

"If it suits you..."

Zowie shook her head, a wide smile illuminating her face. Freeing Brooke's hand, she gave Stuart a hug before quickly returning to her friend's side.

"Guys, for those of you who don't know her already, this is my best friend, Brooke," Zowie grinned as her friend exchanged smiles with the people before them. "Please be nice to her, especially you, Stuart."

The mentioned Stuart raised his hands, looking every bit as innocent as he could muster. Then, turning to Orlando, Zowie gave him a coquettish smile.

"I'm sorry I had to break the promise I made you earlier today. My dad freaked out on me and well..." shrugging, she moved a hand up and down to encompass her whole look. "This is the best I could do."

Before Orlando could say anything, Stuart chipped in.

"A promise? What kind of promise that your dad freaked out on you?"

Zowie shot him a self-sufficient look.

"Nothing you need to worry about." Then, ignoring Stuart and turning once again to Orlando, she studied him closely. "You look very good yourself."

As Orlando shifted his weight from one foot to the other, Zowie couldn't help but stare at him, trying to absorb every single detail.

She hadn't lied when saying Orlando looked good. While he seemed not to have spent more than five minutes putting his outfit together, getting dressed and styling his hair up a bit, he still managed to look great as far as Zowie was concerned.

What she had to admit, though, was that his preference in clothes was rather... well, _interesting._ Yet, even that made him attractive to her eyes. While the colour combination wasn't one she would honestly favour on anyone else; in fact, she would probably voice her opinions about it very loudly, she would have never done that to Orlando. Especially not in front of his cast mates having just experienced Stuart's tendency to teasing and sarcasm. However, the combination of a bright red sweater and pale yellow shirt underneath was surely something that hadn't gone unnoticed to the loud bunch of actors around him. Having arrived when all of them were already gathered, she had probably missed lots and lots of teasing comments.

Nonetheless, Orlando managed to look great in Zowie's eyes. Standing as close to him as she was, she could feel his warmth, and it made her long to feel his arms around her. If she concentrated enough, Zowie was sure she could imagine the feel of his body against her, his arms holding her tight as his lips took their time to play with hers, teaching her, enchanting her. Would it feel as good as she imagined it? Probably a thousand times better, for she loved him with her whole heart.

The feeling didn't surprise her, for it hadn't taken Zowie long to decipher the emotions inside her. Consequently, she took it all in stride, letting it sink inside her as she enjoyed the sensation of her body growing warmer with its intensity.

There wasn't a "too much, too soon" in Zowie's book. Wasn't it perfectly natural for her to fall in love with Orlando, the man she desired so much? It had been love at first sight with her unable to see anyone else but him from that very first glance she had thrown in his direction. Her days were spent thinking of Orlando, of ways to seduce him, to bring him by her side... if that wasn't love, Zowie was more than willing to discuss the concept with anyone who dared to say the opposite.

There was no way Orlando could miss the adoring look in Zowie's face as she looked up at him, and he couldn't help but shift his weight uncomfortably. Her lips, those full lips a part of him wished to savour, were stretched in a smile, reminding him of the struggle that raged inside him whenever Zowie was around. There was an open invitation glowing in her eyes, and the warmth it created inside him raised uncertainties about the decisions he had made.

Orlando had good intentions; therefore, he had promised himself to stay out of trouble. Knowing there was far too much at stake both for him and for Zowie, he had come to the determination of remaining friends with her. Close friends, sure, but that was it.

However, every time they met, Zowie managed to blur all the boundaries Orlando had so laboriously set up between them. In all honesty, he doubted she acted consciously most of the time, but one thing was for sure: he could barely resist her. Zowie came to him with a smile and a hug, and the cool manner Orlando wanted to impose between them melted instantly. The proximity, being so close to her that he could feel her warmth, always had his own body reacting in a way Orlando worked hard to deny.

And then, Zowie would giggle like the teenage girl she was, and the combination of youth, innocence, and obvious attractiveness was enough to drive Orlando out of his mind. She was attractive. She was also very young. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to stay away from her, to grow unresponsive to her charm.

Was there a right way to deal with Zowie, or was Orlando doomed to live in eternal confusion until he left New Zealand? Did she even know what she did to him? Orlando had the feeling that, except for situations such as the one in that moment when an invitation was written all over her face, most of the time Zowie had no idea what she was doing. Problem was, he couldn't go as far as pinpoint where her innocence ended and where her candid, yet seductive nature came out.

Then, as if that wasn't enough to keep him awake at night, Orlando found himself on the receiving end of Stuart's constant prodding. He knew his cast mate meant well. After all, all Stuart wanted was for Orlando to have some company while away from home so his time in this end of the world wasn't so lonely. Nevertheless, every time Stuart pointed something out about Zowie, Orlando had to brace his defences, hoping they would hold for another day.

And then, as Zowie stared up at him with that adoring look, Orlando had to wonder what would happen in the next sixteen months. What would become of him, of her... of both? He couldn't say at the moment. All Orlando wished, though, was to not bring Zowie a pain so severe he couldn't relieve it.

"Umm... want something to drink?"

If Zowie noticed the nervous hint in Orlando's voice, she was polite enough not to point it out.

"Sure," she answered with a happy smile. Then, inching closer to him with a conspiring look, she added. "If my dad wasn't around, I'd ask you to bring me something a bit stronger, but seeing that William is surely keeping an eye on me, I'll just have a soft drink."

Orlando forced a meticulously carefree grin before walking away to fulfil Zowie's request, hoping it gave him a chance to clear his mind. He knew he probably took much longer than necessary to get the drinks, but he needed that time away to settle his thoughts and reinforce his defences, knowing they needed all the extra support they could get.

However, by the time he made it back to their ever growing group, Orlando was surprised to find Stuart twirling Brooke around, making her laugh at the top of her lungs as they danced. Giving as much she took, Brooke refused to be just putter in Stuart's hands, and while he was taller and stronger, she still managed to unsteady him some, forcing him to do some twirling of his own to keep balance. Eyes fixed on the dancing couple, half amused, half concerned as to how it could turn out, Orlando only turned to Zowie when her voice caught his attention.

"You missed the best part. Brooke managed to stop him before he tried to lift her up in the air like in the movies," giving him a sided look, Zowie's eyes shone with mirth. "Is he always like this? I mean, should I worry about my friend's integrity? Because I have to bring her back home safe... and in one piece!"

Orlando couldn't help but laugh.

"Just wait until he gets drunk. Brooke will be safe, then."

At those words, Zowie gave him a conspiring look.

"Quick, give him your beer!"

The moment Orlando's amused laugh turned, somehow, into a funny, almost girly giggle, he had the undivided attention of an openmouthed Zowie, who stared at him with wide blue eyes. Still smiling, Orlando noticed how she tilted her head a little, not saying a single word, but with a broad smile on her lips that instantly picked Orlando's curiosity.

"What?" he asked, but Zowie's smile didn't falter one bit.

"You know you giggle like a girl, don't you?"

The moment Orlando's face took on a first embarrassed, then offended, and finally sheepish look, it was Zowie's turn to laugh. It took some time for her amusement to subside, but the moment it did and she noticed his bashful look, she couldn't control herself. With a loving smile, Zowie threw her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his in a way that sent Orlando's mind reeling.

Zowie was hugging him. That, essentially, wasn't so bad; after all, she had made a teasing comment about him and now wanted him to feel better. That much Orlando could handle. However, the feeling of her young, warm body pressed tight against him played havoc inside him. While, on one hand, Orlando revelled in the feeling for a few seconds, robbing himself of his previous determination, he soon understood it needed to end before things got out of hand. Or before William showed up, whatever happened first.

Gently, since offending her was the last thing on his mind, Orlando posed his hands on Zowie's shoulders and pushed her backwards, if only slightly. Any distance, no matter how small it seemed, was enough for him to clear his mind and come up with a way out that didn't come across as a complete rejection. Then, as if some deity had decided his torment had been enough, a dance song came through the speakers offering Orlando an excuse to keep a safe distance from this tempting Zowie he was having a hard time resisting.

"Want to dance?"

As if Zowie would ever say no to that! With a wide smile, and throwing the memories of Orlando pushing her away to the last, darkest drawers of her memory where she would confine them forever, Zowie nodded. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Brooke's eye as her friend chatted with Elijah, and her encouraging look didn't go unnoticed. Giving her friend a joyous smile, Zowie allowed Orlando to lead her to a clear spot where they could dance. Sure, a slow song would have fit her purposes much better, she had to admit, but since the current song was all she was being given, she would deal with it; any time spent with Orlando was more than welcome.

While, as the evening progressed, Zowie grew increasingly disappointed at whoever was in charge of the music for not playing a single slow tune, she couldn't deny she was having a great time. To make it even better, the odds seemed to be in her favour, for William had only showed up once, saying hi to the actors before quickly disappearing the way he came. Having prepared herself to have her dad looking over her shoulder the entire night, Zowie couldn't help but appreciate her luck. She intended to enjoy every minute of William's absence, for she didn't need him around when she made her move on Orlando.

Sure, said moment was taking more than time she had initially expected, but the night was young, and Zowie had no intention of giving up. It was hard to balance the need to be beside Orlando at all times as well as letting him go when needed, but Zowie knew it was worth it. The last thing she wanted was to make Orlando so tired of having her around that he had to leave her, and the party, as soon as possible. So, while still mindful of everything Orlando did, Zowie forced herself to mingle and socialise, meeting lots of people who would be working in the movies. All of them had so many stories to tell, so many experiences to share, Zowie couldn't help but feel longing growing inside her at the sole idea of participating in the shooting more fully than she had first intended.

Was she able to walk away, knowing how much she was missing? Suddenly, the feeling of being on the verge of something so big, so incredibly unique, and yet having to miss it seemed unbearable to Zowie. Yes, she was doing her share of the job, and she considered it important, but experiencing the shooting first hand, being there as everything happened... Zowie longed to be there. She wanted to witness how the movies got made, wanted the stories and memories she would share with her grandchildren. And, moreover, Zowie wished to spend that time with Orlando.

In an ideal world where Zowie got her way, her wishes would become a reality, and it would be the once-in-a-lifetime chance William talked so much about. However, reality was cruel, and very, very different. What chance did Zowie have to be involved in the actual shooting, other than those short breaks University life would allow her in the future? Zowie wouldn't even be living in Wellington anymore; she would be moving to Palmerston North which took her even further away from everything. Perhaps, she could sneak some time in when the movies' machinery took the shooting anywhere near her future home, or maybe... Zowie sighed. Reality was horrible and impossible to ignore. However, the idea was planted in her brain, although she knew, without even asking, that her parents would never agree to it. Ever.

"Is something wrong?"

Brooke's concerned voice drowned the music and loud conversation around her, successfully catching Zowie's attention.

"Sorry?"

"Is something wrong?" Brooke repeated her question. "You seem miles away from here."

Zowie sketched a smile, comforted by her friend's concern.

"I was just thinking how much I'd like to be a part of the movies, you know? Being there as they're made, as shooting happens..." Her melancholic, thoughtful tone disappeared the moment she smiled. "You think my parents would put their heart attacks on hold long enough to let me take a gap year to work in _Rings_? Or would they simply freak out and I'd be forced to carry their deaths on me for the rest of my life? Or what's even worse... you think they'd kill me?"

Brooke laughed, almost choking on her drink at the mental picture of Zowie telling her parents she wanted to put her higher education on hold.

"Well... any particular flowers you'd like at your funeral?"

At those words, Zowie couldn't help but join in the laughter. That was exactly what she needed to put everything into perspective. Her, taking a gap year to work in the movies? Right. She might as well tell her parents she was joining a free love community or something equally silly. After all, it'd generate pretty much the same effect on them.

Enjoying their private joke, and completely unaware of the eyes that studied them, Zowie and Brooke wandered off, the latter's stomach grumbling and demanding some nourishment. Finding some finger food at a table nearby, they stood there, watching the party unveil before them. Only a few meters away, Orlando and Elijah stood, beer in hand, watching them.

"She's quite pretty, don't you think?" Elijah ventured before taking a small sip from his bottle.

Orlando gave him a rather confused look.

"Pretty? Who?" His question got Elijah rolling his expressive blue eyes.

"Zowie, of course. Who else did you think I was talking about?"

Orlando felt his body tense as an immediate reaction to Elijah's words. What emotion, of the span Zowie brought to life within him had caused, Orlando didn't know. What he did know, however, was that very few things could upset him more than Elijah referring to Zowie that way, even when his voice held nothing but genuine interest.

Unsure as to what kind of answer Elijah expected from him, Orlando's doubt lasted some long seconds before he finally muttered out the first words that came to his mind.

"I suppose so." The moment he realised how dumb he actually sounded, Orlando tried to come across convinced and determined with his next words. "Well, yes... I think she's very pretty."

Elijah smiled, staring at Zowie in the distance as she and Brooke were engrossed over something that was surely a matter of life or death for them. Then, facing Orlando with a half curious, half insecure look, he said, “I had to ask, you know... I like her, but I have the feeling you do too."

If Elijah's previous words had hit Orlando hard, nothing could have prepared him for what those new ones did to him. Deadly still, Orlando even forgot how to breath. How was he supposed to answer to that? Did he even have an answer? Elijah liked Zowie, and Orlando couldn't deny that he did too. Problem was, Orlando wasn't sure his feelings ended in a simple, innocent friendship.

"I do," he said, before adding in what he realised sounded like too much of a hurry. "I mean, she's a nice girl and a good friend, but I don't really know her much outside the training hall."

Elijah nodded thoughtfully.

"Does that mean you don't want Zowie to be any more than a friend to you?"

Again, Elijah's question didn't have an honest answer to come straight from Orlando's divided heart.

"Not really."

Something tore in Orlando's heart at those words, but he knew he wasn't in a state to analyse, or even accept, what lived inside him. That's why he had to play it safe.

Not that Elijah's admission did anything to ease his concerns.

"Good. That's really good." Elijah seemed to be deep in thought, but the moment he realised his words might come across the wrong way, he rushed to add, "I don't mean it's good that you don't like her! What I'm just trying to say is that... well, I'm not really sure it comes out quite as I expected. My point is, I thought something was going on between you and Zowie, but since you tell me nothing is, I suppose I have an open road to try my luck with her, right?"

Elijah's words brought images to Orlando's mind that unsettled him far more than he wanted to admit. Why feel that way, though, when seconds ago he had admitted he and Zowie were nothing but friends?

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Orlando's confusion seeped into his words, making them sound harsher than intended. "Not with the way William watches over her. Unless you want to get familiar with his anger, of course."

If only Orlando could listen to his own predicament...

If Elijah found anything surprising or odd in the hard edge in Orlando's words, he refrained from mentioning it, storing it somewhere deep in his mind instead. As Orlando noted, the smile Elijah offered him next gave nothing away.

The younger actor said something before walking away, but Orlando didn't hear a single word, busy as he was going over what had just happened. Something bothered him, and it wasn't just Elijah's admission.

_"I like her, but I have the feeling you do too."_

Being aware of his own feelings was problematic enough for Orlando, but having Elijah noticing them scared him terribly. Countless times had Orlando reminded himself of the sheer stupidity of feeling anything but friendship for Zowie, and yet, every single time, he relapsed. But how could he not? Whenever Orlando laid eyes on her, he saw something in Zowie, an air of confidence, of awareness of her own place in the world, of where she belonged to... a certain class that he had yet to see in other girls her age. It was something that ran in Zowie, and that would accompany her forever.

But more importantly, it scared Orlando, for he didn't know how to handle it. Zowie was nothing like what he was used to, and that alone was enough to keep him coming back for more. The only way out that Orlando saw at that moment was, for him to either magically grow out of his attraction or for Zowie to grow tired of him. That seemed like the only, logical way out.

Problem was, he didn't see either of them happening any time soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

The TV was on and Silverchair played on the screen, but not even their favourite band could set Zowie and Brooke apart from the task of dissecting the evening that had just ended. They didn't even notice the late hour as busily assessed what had and what hadn't happened at the party.

"Thanks again for inviting me, Zow... honestly, it was so much better than I imagined," Brooke said from her bed. Pulling the covers tightly around her body, she then propped herself up on a pile of pillows she had stolen from the guest room's closet.

Sitting with her back up against the wall, Zowie had a perfect view of her friend over the bedside table.

"Much better? What are you talking about?"

Brooke's eyes shifted towards the TV, unsure as to how to voice her thoughts the right way.

"I don't know... I guess I wasn't too sure what to expect, really." Turning to her friend, Brooke shrugged, "I mean, I didn't know most of the people there aside from you, your dad and some of the actors... that was it. Believe me, I was determined to have a good time, but I had no idea what would come out of tonight."

Zowie could have never ignored the reason in Brooke's words, understanding right away how odd it must have been for her to find herself surrounded by so many unfamiliar faces. On top of that, those people were involved in the movies in one way or another, while she had been nothing but a guest. Zowie scolded herself for not thinking about that sooner, but her uneasiness faded when she realised that, despite of all that, Brooke had had a great time.

"Now, honestly... what do _you_ think of the party?"

Brooke's question caught Zowie with her guard down.

"I don't get it... what are you talking about?" Her puzzled question earned her a meaningful roll of her friend's eyes.

"What? Are you telling me you have you suddenly forgotten all about the love of your life?"

Brooke's words brought a smile to Zowie's face, one that carried a hint of sadness not even the faint light of the TV in the dark room could conceal.

"You mean Orlando?"

"What? You mean there are there more loves of your life that I know nothing about?" Brooke asked in fake shock. "With the obvious exception of Alessandro Del Piero and cutie Daniel Johns, of course," she finally added, pointing the screen in time for a close up of Silverchair's singer.

"I suppose they are on hold for the time being?"

Brooke giggled, but couldn't be diverted from the topic for too long.

"So?"

Zowie sighed. While she didn't have a habit of hiding anything from her friend -with the exception of her true intentions regarding Orlando-, Zowie still had some trouble admitting things hadn't gone quite as she had expected.

"It was great. Sure, it'd have been a thousand times better if Orlando hadn't disappeared during the last hour or so, but I suppose I couldn't just monopolise him. Not that I'd mind to, of course."

There, she had said it. And behind the cover of a rather lame joke, Zowie had tried to hide the concern at Orlando's attitude during her last moments at the party.

She had no idea what could have happened. One minute, Orlando was talking to Elijah and then, next thing she knew, he was nowhere to be seen. Desperately, she had reviewed her behaviour in order to find something that could have upset him, but nothing came out. To be honest, Zowie had been quite forward at some point, but in her defence, she had to say Orlando had never complained. Sure, he had kept his distance, but that was something she had seen coming and knew how to handle. If anything, any inner struggle meant Orlando's interest was greater than she imagined.

Nonetheless, Zowie didn't like feeling like she couldn't achieve something she had set herself to do. She wasn't used to failing; she hated it! Failing left her nothing except for a bitter taste in her mouth and a bigger determination for her next try. But above all, it made her feel insecure. And anxious.

Why hadn't Orlando fallen for her the moment she had decided she wanted him, much like Jeremy had? Was she doing something wrong? Or was it that Orlando didn't like girls in the first place?

The moment that last option came to her mind, Zowie scolded herself. That couldn't be true, not with the admiring, interested glances Orlando had thrown at some girls during the party. That, and the lascivious glow in his eyes when he admired her legs earlier, were undeniable proofs of how silly her theory was. Orlando was interested in women, that was for sure. Problem was, Zowie seemed to be the only exception to that rule.

"Why can't Orlando like me, Brooke?" Zowie's shaky voice denoted the tears her insecurity had brought to her eyes, tears she tried hard to keep at bay. "Why can I make any other guy fancy me, but I can't make him look at me the way I want him to?"

The desperate tone in Zowie's voice made Brooke's heart thump with concern and alarm. Very rarely did Zowie let her deepest, most intense emotions surface like that, but when they did, they were a clear sign of how affected she truly was. While Brooke herself had cried her heart out in her friend's arms more times that she could even remember, the times Zowie had shown her deepest insecurities could be counted with the fingers of one hand. And yet, at the same time, Brooke knew that, no matter how big Zowie's crisis could be, nothing would make her talk about it the morning after. That's why she needed to listen now in order to help her friend, for Zowie would never open up about her insecurities again.

"Am I that unattractive, B?" Zowie whispered, her wide blue eyes focused on her. "Am I so ugly that Orlando can't bear to be next to me, to be seen with me? I don't get it! Did you notice how he avoided me tonight right before we left? I love him, Brooke... I love him so much, and I can't see why he doesn't even like me back!"

At her fervent, yet terrified words, Brooke jumped out of her bed and rushed to Zowie's side.

"But he does like you, Zowie! Perhaps... perhaps he only needs more time to understand how he feels for you, that's all!"

Brooke's heart felt heavy in her chest. She wanted so badly to tell Zowie that there was a chance Orlando's feelings weren't as strong as her own, that he might never return them at all, but she knew she couldn't do it. Not with her friend in such state. All Brooke could do was hope that, eventually, the fold would drop from Zowie's eyes making her realise that her feelings for Orlando were nothing but a huge, insane infatuation she would soon get over, and not love as she insisted.

"Time is exactly what I _don't_ have, B!" Zowie exclaimed, turning her attention to Brooke. "Do you realise there's none left? Before we realise it, Orlando will be away shooting these damn movies. And you know what will happen then? He'll meet other girls, and they'll throw themselves at him, I just know it. And, all the while, I'll be stuck under a pile of books while all those girls are enjoying what should be mine. I can't stand that, Brooke... I can't let that happen!"

There was an undeniable truth in Zowie's words. What were the odds of Orlando _not_ finding someone to, at least, spend his time with while he was away? And what would be of Zowie if that came to happen? Would he carelessly break her heart, or would he at least be considerate enough not to flaunt his conquests before her? Once again, Brooke cursed Orlando. He wasn't a bad guy, but she had the feeling that, when combined with Zowie's obsession, it could only mean some serious trouble... or a pain so great, it would break her friend's heart to pieces.

"There's not much we can do about it, is there?" Brooke said, trying to sound equanimous. "Orlando _will_ be away shooting the movies, and we'll both be away too, at University. That's the way things are."

Zowie shook her head emphatically, her square jaw set in a defiant way.

"There has to be a way I can spend more time with Orlando, that I can make him fall for me. But how?" Her desperate eyes sought for an answer in the darkness of the room. "We're always surrounded by people. And what's even worse, whenever I get to spend a few minutes alone with him, my dad shows up ruining everything. It's so damn frustrating, B!"

She couldn't have expressed her approval out loud, but inwardly, Brooke congratulated William for his behaviour. However, knowing how easy it was for Zowie to convince her dad, she couldn't help but wonder how long that vigilance would last.

"Zowie, there's no need to lose your mind thinking of ways to make Orlando fall for you. Those things just happen, you can't force them," she said. "After all, didn't you fall in love with Orlando without him doing a single thing?"

"Yes, but that was different."

Brooke arched an eyebrow at Zowie's statement.

"Really? How so?" When Zowie hesitated, Brooke knew she had the upper hand. "I don't want you to get hurt, Zowie, no one does. I don't mean Orlando could intentionally hurt you," she hurried to add when Zowie's eyes grew offended. "But maybe you should just let things be for a while, give Orlando some time off to realise he needs you. Haven't you stopped to think that maybe he knows you'll always be there and has kind of taken you for granted? Not in a bad way, of course, but you need to show him that you too have a life that doesn't revolve around him. Perhaps, when Orlando goes away and you're not around that much, he'll realise how much he wants you by his side. You can't get desperate over things you can't really control, Zow... If you ask me, I think it's time you turn the cards on him and wait for Orlando's decision."

Zowie's teeth nibbled at her lip as she lost herself in her musings. There was a truth in Brooke's words that Zowie couldn't deny, no matter how much it bothered her. She knew Brooke enough to know that she meant well, but Zowie couldn't shake the feeling that her friend wouldn't fully understand her until she fell in love herself.

"I don't know, B... I really don't know what to do," she said, and although her tone appeared calmer, it was more on Brooke's benefit than anything else.

"That's okay," Brooke squeezed her hand. "Just promise me one thing. Promise me that you'll think about it, okay? That you won't make Orlando the centre of your life just like that."

Should Zowie tell Brooke it had already happened a long time ago?

Feigning a little smile, Zowie squeezed her hand back in reassurance.

"'I'll try, B. I promise."

The mix of genuine concern and relief in Brooke's blue eyes made Zowie feel horribly guilty. Guilty for lying to her best friend, for making her believe she would think over things she had stopped thinking about a long time ago, the moment she had decided she wanted Orlando as a part of her life. And not just any part: she wanted him beside her, and she wouldn't rest until she achieved that.

The moment Brooke gave her a tight hug and then slipped back in her bed, Zowie felt herself drowning in regret and self-despise. It wasn't easy nor nice to feel that way, but she knew the minute she got what she was looking for, all those feelings would be erased. Once she had Orlando with her, she would be happy, and no one, no one, would be able to say a single thing to her about it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9.**

"What??"

Zowie couldn't have concealed her surprise even if she tried to. Standing by the kitchen counter, knife in hand, she froze mid-action at her father's words, the tomato she had been chopping suddenly forgotten.

"Exactly what you heard. Stuart's out, he's not going to be a part of the movies anymore."

Hearing those words, having William repeating them to her, did nothing to make them any more real. Still open mouthed, Zowie could do little but stare at her dad, waiting for him to admit that he was making a really bad joke. When he didn't and reality sunk in, thoughts tangled in her mind.

"You mean he was fired?"

"I wouldn't know, to be honest. I know Peter wasn't entirely sure about his choice of Aragorn, but this... now..." William shook his head, a concerned glow in his blue eyes. "I can't help but wonder how we'll train someone from scratch when shooting starts tomorrow. Stuart had full six weeks of training on his back. Whoever comes to fill in the gap will have to squeeze in training time in between the shooting schedule, and that's going to be crazy." Sighing, he leaned his weight on the counter behind him. "How Peter will find someone to jump into this monster on such short notice, I have no idea. Not that many people in their right mind would anyway."

Zowie put the knife down, still not quite believing what she had just heard. Stuart was out? Out of the movies, out of the production... for good? Why? He was doing a great job! He trained hard, rehearsed, had even learned to speak Elvish along with Liv and Orlando. What on Earth had made Peter decide he didn't want him anymore, now, after putting him through all that hard work?

Zowie didn't have the answers, and it frustrated her. A part of her urged her to call Stuart, talk to him and see if there was anything, no matter how small, that she could do to make him feel better. However, a prudent voice, one that rarely saw the light of day, spoke to her, convincing Zowie of the opposite. It wasn't very easy to step aside, but she imagined Stuart wasn't in the mood for annoying phone calls that night.

Zowie didn't know how long she remained silent, trying to work her head around the concept of Stuart's leaving. It was so unbelievable, so surreal... a little over a week to that day, Zowie and Stuart had exchanged teasing comments at the party. Then, next thing she knew, he was gone. What would happen next? Zowie had grown fond of Stuart, and she knew for a fact that he reciprocated the feeling. How was she supposed to watch him leave after all the time they had spent together? Zowie didn't even want to think about it.

"Did you talk to the others? What did they say?"

"Well, the only ones I could talk to were Liv and Sean, the older one," William explained. "They were shocked, of course. Especially Liv... it can't be easy for her, not with all the interaction her and Stuart's character will have in the movies. Having that sort of chemistry with someone you barely know, someone completely new, can't be easy."

Still unable to fully recover from her shock, Zowie propped herself up on the counter, sitting there with her legs dangling and brushing the counter's drawers.

"This can't be good," she said thoughtfully. "I mean... they won't stop the entire production just for Stuart, but... what will happen now?"

"They'll have to find someone else, I suppose. In fact, I think Peter already has someone in mind."

The irrevocability in William's words felt like a blow to Zowie's stomach. Stuart, the man she had grown close to in the past weeks, was leaving, and someone else would take his place. The idea seemed terrible to Zowie, and while something inside her refused to accept the facts, she couldn't silence the question that echoed in her mind at the implications. Could the same happen to the others? Could Peter fire any actor as he pleased?

When the thought hit her, it demanded all of Zowie's willpower to keep a straight face, regardless of the panic rising inside her. Obviously, Peter had the right to fire and hire actors as he thought convenient. A cold shiver ran down Zowie's spine, filling her with terror when Orlando's face floated before her eyes. Could he be the next in line? Her heart fluttered with dread. That couldn't happen! He was so excited about his role, that Zowie couldn't, nor wanted to, imagine the movies without him. They would be hell, just like her life would be if he left.

The urge to see Orlando and reassure herself that he wouldn't leave was so powerful, Zowie seriously considered the possibility of a visit. However, a quick look at the chopped vegetables beside her was enough to bring those plans crashing down; her mum would be back any minute, and dinner wouldn't take long. Her need didn't subside with that realisation, though, and knowing she wouldn't be at peace with herself until she did something about it, Zowie decided to give Orlando a call. Discussing the day's events over the phone seemed rather cold, but it was better than nothing.

Jumping down from the counter, she gave her dad what she hoped was a nonchalant look.

"You think you could finish this up for me? I forgot to call Brooke, and I need to ask her something about an assignment."

If William imagined Brooke wouldn't be in the receiving end of her call, he kept his opinion to himself. Zowie appreciated the gesture and, giving William a quick smile, rushed towards her room.

Zowie didn't have a problem remembering Orlando's number. Dialling it with quick fingers, she threw herself on the bed and held her breath as a ring, then two, and finally three came through the line. Perhaps Orlando was visiting Stuart, which was only natural, or maybe...

"Hello?"

His breathless tone told Zowie he had rushed to answer her call just before the answering machine did it for him. Which was perfect, since she had yet to come up with a meaningful, heartfelt message that showed him how much she cared.

"Hi, Orlando! It's Zowie."

"Hi, Zow!" The cheerful note he put in his voice didn't go unnoticed by her. Obviously, Orlando was more affected by this whole mess than he intended to let her know. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Knowing there was no use on delaying things, she added "My dad just told me about Stuart. How are you feeling?"

Orlando's pained sigh was all Zowie needed to know that he had finally dropped the façade he had put up in her benefit.

"I'm not sure, to be honest," his voice, soft and low, made Zowie's heart ache. "It still needs to sink in, I guess."

Turning on her side, Zowie cradled the phone between her ear and the pillow, feeling every bit as lost as Orlando surely felt.

"I wish I knew what to say, but I'm just as shocked as you are. I mean, I just can't imagine this without Stuart around." Sighing, she added. "Do you know who'll replace him?"

Orlando shook his head as he slumped in his seat.

"I have no idea... I just wish I knew what will happen next. If Stuart got fired just hours before shooting started, does that mean the same can happen to the rest of us?"

"Oh, no!" Zowie rushed to add, fear gnawing at her insides. The mere thought of Orlando leaving was terrifying. "Please don't say that... I... I can't even begin to imagine these movies without you. If you left... it'd be horrible!"

The heartfelt concern in Zowie's voice managed to bring a tiny smile to Orlando's lips. Knowing he was needed and wanted brought a feeling of stability to his heart, one that was very much needed in that time of uncertainty. Of course, Zowie wouldn't be able to do a single thing should Peter decide he was doing a lousy job of portraying Legolas, but knowing she would miss him terribly if he left managed to lift Orlando's spirits some. Enough for him to forget it wasn't wise to encourage her any more than he already had with his passiveness.

"Thanks, Zow," he murmured. "I really appreciate it."

Zowie's heart soared at those words.

"Oh, there's no need to thank me! You know that, should the thought ever do as much as cross Peter's mind, I'll chain myself to WETA's door until he brought you back, I promise. _No one_ could pull Legolas off the way you do, Orlando. That wig would look silly on anyone else, and you know it."

Orlando giggled, and Zowie's heart warmed at the sound. This was what she had called him for: to lift his spirits, to have him forgetting, if only for a few seconds, that horrible uncertainty she was sure affected everyone that day. Knowing it was her, and no one else, to make Orlando smile made her heart sing with joy.

Orlando's glee was short-lived, and although it didn't vanish completely, the shadows that doubt cast on it managed to obscure it some.

"What will happen now, Zowie? What if the guy they pick to play Aragorn turns out to be... well, horrible? Sixteen months is too long of a time to spend with someone you can't stand!"

Turning on her back, Zowie studied the dark sky through her window with a thoughtful expression.

"I thought about that when my dad told me," she admitted, concern evident in her voice. "It'll probably sound silly, but I feel I'm a part of this, and I can't imagine having to deal with someone who's a complete nightmare!"

Nothing could have prepared Zowie for Orlando's next words.

"You _are_ a part of this, Zowie. Just as much as the rest of us."

Her heart did somersaults in her chest, and euphoria unravelled within her, making Zowie feel she could fly with its intensity. In Orlando's words, she could read all those things he hadn't dared to say so far: that he needed her, that, much like Zowie herself, he couldn't imagine _Rings_ without her around. It was hard to keep her happiness inside, but nothing could have stopped the smile that touched her face, making it glow. Zowie hated to think it had taken Stuart's leaving to have Orlando opening up to her, but if that was what it took... then she would gladly accept it.

"Orlando, that... well, that means a lot to me!" Even if she couldn't see him smiling, she could perfectly well imagine it, having engraved his face in her memory and in her heart for good. She thought of many other things to tell him, but blurting her feelings out through the phone wasn't one of them. Considering it safer to return to the day's topic, she added. "I tell you what, if my dad finds something important out, I'll let you know. He needs to talk to Peter about this new guy's training, so I'm sure I can sneak in and get some information."

Her promise was enough to set all alarms off in Orlando's head. He didn't doubt Zowie's ability to discover new information, but what would be the cost?

"Oh no, Zowie... I don't want you to get in trouble because of me, you hear me?" Orlando's voice held a determined warning. "Especially with Peter. We've already lost Stuart, I couldn't bear to lose you too."

If only Orlando knew what his words did to Zowie's heart! She was so ecstatic, Zowie could have promised him the world just to make him happy. Orlando was just steps away from admitting his feelings for her, how could she hold anything back?

There were so many things she wanted to say, things that would make Orlando feel better in that horrible day, but they were all silenced the moment she heard a car pulling over at the driveway leading to the garage. Without checking, Zowie knew her mum was back and, also, that she wasn't exactly where she was supposed to be: upstairs, helping her dad with dinner. Sighing in defeat, she sat up on her bed.

"I'm so sorry, Orlando, but I have to go. I'll call you later tonight, okay?" She promised. "Just relax and try not to think too much about it... there's not much else we can do, is there?"

Orlando sketched a tiny, weak smile.

"I can't promise anything, but I'll try," he said. "I do have the feeling we'll all spend a lot of time on the phone tonight, though."

Zowie grinned.

"Just make sure you get enough sleep, you hear me? Our graceful elf simply can't have dark circles under his eyes."

Orlando's laugh filled the line, making her smile.

" _Goodbye,_ Zowie," his meaningful tone elicited giggles, and she couldn't help imitating it.

" _Goodbye,_ Orlando."

Hearing his laughter on the other end, Zowie hung up feeling happy for the first time since she had heard the news of Stuart's departure. Who would have guessed a short phone call could be this... enlightening? A grin illuminated her face as she closed the door behind her and rushed upstairs before her mum entered the house. It was hard to mask her joy under her father's scrutiny, but other than rolling his eyes, he didn't say or do a single thing.

It was _so_ hard to conceal her happiness! Zowie felt a bit guilty for feeling that way when everyone, including her, should be feeling worried or, at the very least, concerned. Yet, she wouldn't have changed a single one of her feelings for anything in the world. Yes, she would miss Stuart, would miss his friendship and humour, but Orlando had taken a huge step, and that overruled every other thing in her mind and heart. He had just told her how important she was to him, and that... that couldn't be ignored.

How long would it take for Orlando to realise that he loved her, that his feelings for her were just as strong as hers? Zowie couldn't wait. She couldn't wait for him to come to her and tell her what was in his heart, for them to become what was obvious destiny held for them: a couple. Zowie could already picture it. Orlando would be the most perfect boyfriend, and once he realised his feelings were honest and true, not even her dad could say a single thing about it. William would have to accept Orlando and leave his caution aside when he realised this particular young man was nothing but perfect for his little girl. Zowie would make sure of that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10.**

"Are you sure you have everything you need in there?" William asked for what seemed like the millionth time, pointing with his pen at the big Manila envelope Zowie held in her hand. "You have every certificate, every form? Are they in the right order?"

Zowie couldn't help but exaggeratedly roll her eyes at her father's unnecessary concern. If he fretted any more, he would faint.

"I told you, mum and I went over this envelope three times this morning. There's absolutely _no_ way something could have gone missing, dad."

"You took it to school," William pointed out matter-of-factly. "Are you sure you didn't lose anything there, or on your way here?"

Zowie sighed in defeat. Nothing like university enrolment to bring out her dad's paranoid side.

"Would you stop freaking out if we went over these papers together? I have the complete list somewhere in my folder."

When William nodded, looking far too enthusiastic for someone who was just going to check some papers, Zowie shook her head. Then, although she sighed dramatically at the thought of checking the envelope's contents once more, she couldn't help the little smile that played on her full lips at William's obvious excitement. _"Please be patient with your dad, Zowie,"_ her mum had said that morning. _"You're our eldest child, and he's so excited about you going to university, that I have the feeling he's going over his own enrolment process all over again. Just be patient with him, okay? I'm sure he'll get over it soon."_ Either that, or Zowie would go insane with his constant nagging.

As if she wasn't nervous enough already! Although University still seemed something very distant to Zowie, it was less than a semester away, and it got nearer and nearer with every passing day. She was very aware of that, but in the meantime, she also tried to enjoy her last year of school, even if finals loomed on the horizon. After all, how many times would she go through that in her life? Hopefully never again, Zowie mused, an image of Ms. Carroll dancing before her eyes. While Zowie was sure she would hold every memory of St. Mary's close to her heart, her Religious Studies' teacher wouldn't be one of them. Even the college's spiritual retreats in Eketahuna ranked higher than her.

Zowie shivered. It had only taken one retreat, back in her first year at St. Mary's, to learn one very important fact about Eketahuna: it was the middle of nowhere. Therefore, the perfect spot for teenage girls to meditate over their actions and behaviours. After all, what else was there to do at Eketahuna but think? Not much, Zowie mused. Now, after five years as a St. Mary's student, Zowie got an instant headache at the mere mention of the word 'retreat'.

Still, as boring as the town might seem, Zowie was sure she would still miss it. If not Eketahuna itself, at least the moments spent there with her friends. This year's retreat would surely be something special and, if Brooke was right, probably very emotional. And while Zowie didn't look forward to spending a whole weekend stranded in the middle of nowhere with Ms. Carroll, she would try to do what she always did when it came to her nemesis: ignore her. Getting in serious trouble with Ms. Carroll _and_ her mum wasn't one of Zowie's priorities.

However, Ms. Carroll wasn't what concerned Zowie the most about the impending retreat. It was Orlando.

Having just begun his part of the shooting, Orlando had been away most of the week, busy on location somewhere she couldn't remember. Now that he was back in Wellington, she was forced to leave, only to come back on Monday, right after Orlando had flown to the South Island to resume another two weeks of filming. Things were slipping from her control, and Zowie hated the feeling. Everything was easier when he was in town, when she could visit him or train with him almost every day. But when Orlando was away...

Zowie shook her head, refusing to allow her insecurities to get the best of her. Chances to spend time with Orlando, to further develop what she was sure burned in his heart, slowly slipped away from her grasp without her being able to do a single thing about it. At the moment, everything conspired against Zowie's wish to spend every instant with Orlando: her schooling, the retreat, his job... She only needed time, but she wasn't getting it. The only thing to keep her sane was the tiny little flicker of hope her dad had inadvertently lit inside her a few days ago.

William would, of course, be a part of the entire shooting. Zowie was more than welcome to hang around and, since there was obviously work she could do, she wouldn't feel like being underfoot all the time. Which was great because while, on one hand, Zowie didn't really need an excuse to sneak into the set, on the other hand, she knew it would be a thousand times better if there was something productive she could do instead of just sit back and watch as others worked. After all, as good friends as Peter and William could be, she didn't think her father's benefits necessarily extended to her in such an ample way.

Zowie knew her help was needed, and she had her parents' promise and permission to join and assist William as soon as school's most hectic days were over and filming moved near Wellington. She hadn't expected such concession, so the moment they gave her the news, Zowie had wasted no time in showering her parents with all her love and appreciation. Of course, there was always a catch, but with the promises of time spent with Orlando and her new friends, Zowie was more than willing to subject herself to eternal servitude or something equally dramatic. All of that before listening to what Noemie and William had to say. Luckily for her and her impulsive nature, her parents didn't mean to enslave her for good; all they asked from her in return was to keep her grades as high as they currently were. Zowie had agreed at once. She had handled school for as long as she could remember, how bad could another three months be?

"Well, I think this is it. Nothing's missing," William's voice, full of accomplishment, dragged Zowie out of her daydream. In return to his joyful smile, Zowie shot him her best _"I told you so!"_ look, which earned her that look she often got from William, the one that told her he was entitled to do as he pleased since the title _father_ had been bestowed upon him. "What time does Massey close?"

Raising a finger as an indication that he needed to wait, Zowie opened her school bag, rummaging through it before producing a rather crumpled piece of paper. A few seconds later, she looked back up.

"Six p.m. I suppose they extend their work hours during enrolment time."

William nodded.

"Good. I'll call your mum and remind her we'll take a bit longer tonight..." William's voice trailed off as he patted his pockets, unsuccessfully looking for something. "Now, where on Earth did I leave my phone?"

Why wasn't Zowie the least bit surprised by that? Noemie always said William hadn't lost his head during all those years only because it was carefully attached to his body. Shaking her head only a little so her father wouldn't notice, Zowie offered her help.

"Maybe it's in your bag? You know, the one with your training clothes and stuff?"

William narrowed his eyes, his hands stilling in his jeans' back pockets as he considered Zowie's opinion.

"It wouldn't make much sense to have a cell phone hidden under a pile of clothes, would it?"

Zowie had to fight the urge of giggling at his lost, confused expression. Shrugging, she gave him a look that said her options as to where his cell phone might have ended up were near exhausted.

"Have you tried the car?"

At that, William seemed to snap back to reality and, smiling from ear to ear, he regarded her with a relieved look.

"I'll be right back, okay? You can wait here if you want to, I have to make a couple other phone calls, so I'll let you know when I'm done."

Zowie nodded at William's offer, trying hard to conceal her enthusiasm. If she had heard right, Orlando should be arriving at any minute for some last minute revision of a battle choreography with Geoff. With her dad outside, Zowie thanked whatever deity had taken pity on her; any time spent with Orlando away from her father's attentive eyes was the definition of heaven for her.

"Sure, don't worry, go ahead," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. "It's a bit cold outside, I prefer to stay in here for a bit longer anyway. Just don't forget to call mum, all right?"

Nodding, William gave her the military salute he always teased her with whenever he felt she was bossing him around. Poking her tongue out at him, Zowie then watched him go, a smile on her face. No matter how much of a pain he could be, or how he always went out of his way to keep any boy older than 12 as far away from her as possible, Zowie wouldn't have changed her dad for anything in the world. As overprotective as William was, Zowie still loved him with all her heart and hoped to find a man as perfect as him to spend her life with.

Being lost in thought didn't mean Zowie would miss the instant the hall's doors slid open. Envelope still safely in hand, Zowie spun on her heels and her heart skipped a beat when her eager eyes found Orlando walking in her direction, an amused smile on his lips. Or so she thought, seeing as his body  and part of his face were partially hidden under a huge, yet very warm looking, black jacket that guarded him from the cold weather outside. Something in that sight, possibly how young Orlando looked, warmed Zowie's heart, begging her to shower him with care and love.

However, there was another side, one that had nothing to do with the tender, innocent feelings that struggled to surface as she watched Orlando walking alongside Viggo. It was a side of her that, although not unfamiliar, had never showed so much force and intensity as it did whenever Orlando was around. It demanded his proximity, his presence, and it never rested until it got some sort of physical reward. As strong as her tender feelings could be, the more passionate ones always managed to overrule everything else. Zowie wasn't sure how to handle them, wasn't sure she even understood them, but trusted Orlando to show her the way once they were together.

"Hi, Zow!" Orlando's cheerful tone was enough to have her heart doing somersaults.

"Hi, guys!"

An enthusiastic smile lit up her face, unable to hide the joy Orlando's mere presence brought her. Sparkling with joy, her eyes flew from one man to the other before finally, and surprisingly, setting themselves on Viggo. It was a relief to discover that both actors got along well, and she was sure Orlando felt the same. His fears, his concerns, what he had shared with her that night when she found out Stuart had been fired were still very fresh in her mind.

It was hard for everyone to see Stuart go. Orlando had been appalled, and as for Zowie and Elijah, tears shone in their eyes as they bid farewell to the man that had become their friend. Those feelings, still fresh in the entire cast's hearts, made them more than a little cautious about the new actor arriving shortly after Stuart's departure. Even Zowie, although she knew she had absolutely no say in the matter, had been determined to keep her distance with whoever came to take Stuart's place. That's why she had willingly agreed to William's plan for the new actor's welcome: thrust a sword in his hands, step back, and let his assistants charge towards the actor to test his reaction.

Boy, they were in for a huge surprise!

They had expected fear, shock, even some backing up against the wall as people charged towards him, swords in hand. However, Viggo had done none of that. After the briefest instant of hesitation, he had grabbed a tighter hold on his sword and assumed a defensive position, ready to face whatever was thrown his way. Although sticking to the original plan, which ended with the group stopping only a few steps away from Viggo without causing any damage, his reaction made them admire the stranger under a new light. Even Zowie had to admit he had earned her respect.

She had been so determined _not_ to like this man that letting her guard down and stop holding Stuart's departure against him was anything but easy. Of course, developing any sort of relationship with Viggo, especially the one she had had with Stuart, would take longer, but that didn't necessarily mean such thing would never come to happen. Viggo was always polite and friendly and, above all, very professional and dedicated when it came to catching up with his cast mates in the sword fighting department. If nothing else, that alone would have been enough to put him under a new light in Zowie's eyes; anyone who was so intent and so interested in sword fighting made it impossible for her to hold a grudge against them for long.

The instant Viggo noticed her eyes fixed on him, he arched an eyebrow, making her smile. She welcomed his kiss on her cheek as they reached her spot and, although it wasn't unpleasant at all, getting the same greeting from Orlando erased everything else.

"What's that?" Orlando wondered curiously, having spotted the envelope in her hand.

Viggo shook his head at his younger colleague's curiosity.

"Forgive the boy here. I'm sure he was taught manners... problem is, he never bothered to learn them."

Zowie grinned at Viggo's unnecessary apology. Nothing Orlando did could be wrong in her eyes. Orlando, on the other hand, failed to see anything wrong with his innocent question.

"I was just asking!"

Laughing softly, Zowie patted his arm, feeling a surge of heat coursing through her in spite of the thick jacket he wore.

"It's just my University enrolment stuff," she explained. "I'm dropping these off on my way home."

"Oh, right," Orlando murmured, remembering what she had told him about the process not long ago. Then, with a smile, he asked, "Nervous?"

Zowie shrugged, not sure she had an answer for that.

"I don't know, really... everyone keeps asking me that, but this whole thing is still a bit unreal to me," the honesty in her voice mirrored that in her wide blue eyes. "I suppose it'll start feeling more real the moment this process is over. And if I don't freak out by then, I'm sure I will once I start sorting all my stuff out and decide what to take to Palmerston North with me and what to leave at home. Leaving those things behind so my siblings can snoop around as they please is the only thing that gives me shivers so far!"

As if noticing he wasn't really needed in that conversation, Viggo soon excused himself, going after Geoff to talk to him. At that simple action, Zowie realised her respect for Viggo had grown immensely, and she mentally thanked him for that. However, she also knew she had no time to waste, so she fixed her blue gaze on Orlando as she spoke with a soft voice.

"I'll be away for the weekend," her voice held a hint of sadness that wasn't a pretence. "My school organises a spiritual retreat every year, and I _have_ to go. It's definitely not what I'd spend a weekend doing, but still... I have no way out."

Orlando gave her a sympathetic smile. At seventeen, a spiritual retreat had been the last thing on his mind, so he could totally relate to her sad expression.

"Is it really that bad?" he asked, leaning his hip against the table behind them as he unzipped his jacket. Zowie's heart fluttered at his proximity before she regained composure.

"Bad? It's actually worse. It's in Eketahuna."

"Eka-what?" The utter look of confusion on Orlando's face made Zowie laugh. He still had a bit of a problem getting familiar with the Maori language, and the mention of some of the towns' names made his head ache with frustration at not getting them right straight away. "Where's that?"

Zowie sighed meaningfully as she imitated his posture.

"How can I possibly describe Eketahuna to you, Orlando?" Her voice sounded thoughtful as she considered how to better explain the concept of that town to someone who came from a metropolis such as London. "Eketahuna is... Eketahuna, as simple as that. The proverbial middle of nowhere. The perfect spot for a retreat... there's absolutely nothing else to do there but think and meditate. Not my way to spend a weekend if you ask me," she said before adding in a much lower voice. "I'd much rather spend it right here in Wellington with you guys before you left. I'll miss you when you're not around."

"We'll only be away for two weeks. You'll be so busy with school you'll hardly have any time to miss us. Especially considering your exciting plans for the weekend."

Orlando's teasing comment earned him a weak punch on his arm. Then, turning the full power of her blue eyes on him, Zowie added.

"Just try not to forget about me, okay? It'll be horrible without all you guys around. Boring as hell."

Orlando's heart softened at her words. Of course, her bewitching blue eyes begging him to stay did the trick too, but once he managed to control himself, he realised how important everyone involved in the production had become to him. They had spent the past two months pretty much living in each other's pocket, and he too would miss Zowie a lot when he left. The only difference was he would be busy while she would stay behind, waiting for them to come back and share the exciting news. Something he'd hate if he were in her shoes.

"It'll only be two weeks, Zowie. I couldn't possibly forget about you in such a short time," he reassured her. "In fact, I _know_ it'd take a much longer time before I could even begin to forget you."

His words were truer than Orlando himself realised, and they made Zowie's eyes glow with a mixture of hope and sadness.

"Just promise me that, okay?"

Orlando crossed his heart, but before he could add anything, Zowie slid her arms around his neck, holding him tight. While thrown aback for a second, surprise soon died down and a pleasant feeling replaced any discomfort as he returned the hug.

Zowie knew time was running against her, that any minute now, William could burst in through the door, but she couldn't bring herself to end the close contact between her and Orlando. He felt so good, and it felt so good to be in his arms! His body was warm, and her own moulded against it. If only she could have made that hug last forever! It was impossible, though. Yet, before parting ways with Orlando, Zowie posed a feather-like kiss on the corner of Orlando's lips.

"I'll see you in two weeks, okay?"

Before Orlando could say anything, Zowie was already out of his sight, having left him with a warm heart. Of course, a number of other feelings had been stirred to life too, but Orlando made a point of ignoring them. His mind was made up, and nothing would change it. He didn't want to hurt Zowie, and in a way, he hoped these two weeks they would spend apart would be the beginning of her feelings for him waning some. A pang of an unpleasant feeling hit Orlando at the thought, but he forced himself to ignore it. Staying friends was the right way, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11.**

"Okay, spill. _Now_ , Lij. I want to know everything, and I swear to God I'll die if you keep me waiting any longer!"

Why did Zowie's urgency fail to surprise Elijah the tiniest bit? Sitting opposite him in a cozy café that sheltered them from an unexpected rain, the same one that had ruined their sightseeing plans, she represented the picture of impatience. A curious spark danced in her eyes, and it was a miracle Zowie didn't bounce in her seat with excitement. All those things, combined, made Elijah wonder how far Zowie was willing to go for information.

"Honestly? There's not much to tell, really..."

"Yeah, right," Zowie rolled her eyes, a clear sign of how much she disapproved his answer, before giving him a scolding look. "My retreat? Now _that's_ something there's hardly anything to talk about. Your week of shooting, however, is something completely different."

"You think so?"

Zowie hoped the dirty look she shot in Elijah's direction did something to intimidate him, but when he stared back at her, blue eyes glowing with innocence, she could do little but sigh defeated.

"I like you, Lij... I really do. But if you don't start talking now, I swear this'll get ugly!"

Zowie's angry hiss got Elijah laughing unabashedly. Setting his mug down, he leaned forward, his eyes still sparkling as they settled on her.

"How to do you even manage to keep away from shooting, Zow? It's a surprise you haven't dropped out of school yet, just to be around." Grinning, he asked, "Does your dad lock you up or something?"

Elijah's inquisitiveness brought a smile to her face.

"He'll have to! I'm not kidding, one more day at home knowing you guys are out there having the time of your lives, and I'll go mad," her smile faded as a storm unleashed on her blue eyes. "Can you believe my dad didn't tell me you guys were filming on Mount Victoria? That's pretty much around the corner from my house. In fact, I _live_ on Mount Victoria! And you know why he kept that information from me? Because I had homework to do. That has to be the most stupid excuse I've ever heard!"

Zowie didn't need to add anything; her fiery tirade was enough for Elijah to understand her feelings. Whatever William was doing to keep her on track with school and her other activities was definitely _not_ making either father or daughter very happy.

"If it makes you feel any better, you didn't miss anything interesting," he explained, wanting to ease the bad mood he could sense rising in her. "Something was wrong with the equipment, so we basically sat around doing nothing."

Zowie huffed. Sure, Elijah was trying to calm her down, and she appreciated it, but Zowie couldn't shake the feeling that her friend didn't value the experience they were living nearly as much as she did.

"Even if there was nothing else to do but wait around, I still want to be there, Lij! Nothing can possibly be any more boring than sitting around at home, listening to my sister as she practices the flute. Believe me, she's terrible."

Zowie's aggravated tone, along with her pout, made him smile widely.

"If I tell you that the highlight of these past few days was shooting a scene where we all end up in a pile, will that make you feel better?"

"It depends. Is there some embarrassing story attached to it?" Still mulling at the injustice of it all, Zowie stared down at her coffee, shooting killer looks at the dark brew. Of course, she would much rather do it to her dad, but since he wasn't around... Zowie didn't know how long she spent lost in her musings, but Elijah's continued silence soon caught her attention. Looking up, she noticed that a light blush had taken residence on her friend's cheeks, and it only took a second for her to understand what was going on. "There _is_ an embarrassing story, isn't it? Oh, you have to tell me all about it!"

There was an inner debate in Elijah's reluctant eyes, one that, combined to his ever present blush, made Zowie realise of his involvement in the story.

"Forget about it."

She had to give it to Elijah. Looking positively uncomfortable, he appeared desperate to change the subject.

"What? Are you insane? Lij, I swear... I'll die if you keep on hiding information from me! Besides, I can see you were involved in this more than you want to admit, so you have two choices. You either tell me yourself, or I'll go to Billy or Dom, and you know exactly what's going to happen then."

Oh, he wished he didn't! If Zowie went to the other Hobbits, they would only do one thing: blow everything completely out of proportion. The thought alone was a nightmare to his already wounded ego.

Admitting his defeat wasn't easy, but considering the options, sharing his anecdote with Zowie seemed the lesser of two evils. All Elijah had wanted was to cheer Zowie up, and now he had the feeling his story would be far more effective than he had ever imagined.

"Okay, picture this: Sean, Dom, Bill and I, we all have to tumble down into a Hobbit pile while running away from an angry farmer," Zowie nodded enthusiastically, and Elijah found himself struggling with his next words. "Everything was perfect until Dom fell on top of me and, well..."

"Well?" Zowie urged him. If Elijah didn't speak right away, she was sure she would faint.

"Let's just say my bodily functions work fine, as the guys could prove... and smell... themselves."

There was a look of utter confusion on Zowie's face as she stared at Elijah, trying to make sense out of his mysterious words. However, the way his blush turned from a rosy pink into a crimson red under her scrutinising eyes got them widening and her lips forming a silent, shocked O.

"You... you... eeeww!!"

Disgust was, obviously, the first emotion to manifest itself inside Zowie at Elijah's revelation. Soon, however, a pure and unadulterated hilarity blocked everything else, and she couldn't have stopped the giggles that surged no matter how hard she tried.

"Sure, go ahead, laugh. I'll sit around and wait until my ego is dead," Elijah complained, his eyes taking on an offended shadow as her giggles turned into full laughter. "Which won't take long, I'm sure..."

If anything, his words only managed to increase her merriment. In her benefit, it had to be said that Zowie did try to hold her laughter back, although she failed miserably at that. Wiping a tear that had slipped from her eye, she looked up at Elijah, bursting into another fit of giggles when she saw him staring at her with a killer look.

"Did they... did they realise it was you?" It wasn't easy to hold her laughter long enough to talk, but Zowie tried to, taking deep breaths in the process.

Elijah shot her a dirty look.

"They?" Disbelief dripped from his voice. "Zowie, the _whole world_ will know about this! Cameras were rolling, microphones were set, lots of people were there. _Everyone_ will remember this. I wouldn't be surprised if this made it to the DVDs once they're released," lowering his head until his forehead hit the table with a low thump, Elijah groaned. "I'll never get over it."

There was such a fatality in his tone and such defeat in his actions that Zowie's laughter, which she had surprisingly controlled until then, once again bubbled out. She had to admit it, though... had she been in his place, she could have very well died. In fact, she would have dug her own grave before happily jumping in, begging for a quick and painless relief to her embarrassment. However, knowing there had been plenty of witnesses to Elijah's _incident_ , and knowing some of them very well, she knew he was right when saying he would never get over it. Knowing the other Hobbits, they would never let him live that down. Ever.

"Oh God, Lij... I'm so sorry for you!"

Elijah snorted, and it was only out of using all her will that Zowie drowned the laughter that threatened to spill once again.

"Yeah, right. You're a lousy friend, Zow, you know that? Instead of sharing my pain like a good friend should, you just sit there, laughing your head off. That's not nice."

There was a quick reply ready to jump from Zowie's lips, but before Elijah's pretended anger became real and he walked away, she decided to keep it to herself. Steering away from the incident seemed the wisest thing to do. After all, Zowie was sure it would eventually surface once again, so she made sure to store all her funny remarks to herself until needed. No point in wasting ammunition beforehand, right?

"Now that you've heard all about my downfall, I want to hear about yours. How was your retreat?"

Elijah's words caught her by surprise. Meeting his eyes with an amused look, Zowie arched one eyebrow at his choice of words.

"My retreat was just as bad as I expected, thank you very much. There are very few things nearly as horrible as putting thirty or so girls together, and having them go all emotional and teary-eyed."

"Teary-eyed? Why? God, was the retreat actually _that_ bad?"

Zowie stared at him, a sardonic glow in her blue eyes.

"Lij, we were stranded in the middle of nowhere. It rained all weekend long, so that means all outdoor activities, which could be considered as the highlight of the retreat, were cancelled. It was the _worst!_ " Yet, in spite of her words, she shrugged before adding, "It was our last retreat, tears were bound to happen anyway."

"Which includes you, of course," his grin indicated he was merely stating a fact, not making fun of her.

"Of course."

Sharing a knowing smile, Zowie and Elijah fell in a companionable silence as they sipped their coffees or munched on their pastries.

Becoming friends with Elijah hadn't really surprised Zowie. If anything, she was sure it was only a matter of time until that happened. The fact that they were in the same age group meant that they shared many things, although Elijah's experiences, especially those related to the movie business, were something Zowie could only dream of. Besides, there was also the fact that William appeared to be able to hold his overprotective side down whenever Elijah was involved, something that didn't happen very often. Had she tried to go out with any other guy as often as she and Elijah did, William would have died of a heart attack.

Happy in each other's company, Zowie shared all the news about her University admittance process with Elijah, a process that was moving faster than she had first expected. Her interview was only a few days away, and with the added stress of the upcoming finals, she couldn't help but wonder whether she would do well enough on them or not. Elijah, on the other hand, had no doubts and quickly reassured her that she would ace every final _and_ the interview, no matter how worried she presently was.

"Oh, by the way, you're invited to come and see the final if my team makes it through," she added, playing with a paper napkin. "The way I see it, there's no _if_ , so I'd be crossing that day off my agenda if I were you, just in case."

"I'm in, definitely," having finished his food, Elijah eyed his mug, noticing right away his coffee wasn't too far away from meeting the same destiny. "Anyone else invited that I should know of?"

Elijah hoped his face didn't betray him, showing the interest that had got him asking that question. Sure, he had had half a mind of bringing the conversation to that topic at one point or another, but offending or upsetting Zowie was the last thing on his mind.

Zowie, on the other hand, was far too busy folding a napkin into the tiniest square possible to notice any second intentions in her friend's words.

"Oh, sure! I asked Orlando to come too. He swore he'd be there, and unless he wants things between us to get really ugly, I'm sure he'll keep his word."

There was plenty of mischievousness in the smile Zowie directed at him, enough to make Elijah understand that she would indeed keep true to her word in case Orlando didn't. Elijah wasn't so sure about how long she would be able to hold that up, especially with Orlando on the receiving end.

"Have you heard from him, Lij?"

As busy as he was wondering how to better approach the subject, Zowie's question caught Elijah by surprise.

"Him, who? You mean Orlando?"

"Of course I mean Orlando," Zowie gave him a scolding look, but the smile that had accompanied it soon faded. "I talked to him a few days ago, but I haven't heard from him since then. And seeing that he's going to be away for another week..."

Her wistful sigh spoke volumes of the feelings in her heart. Zowie missed Orlando badly, and Elijah was sure that, had she not been forced to remain in Wellington by something as important as school, she would have found a way to travel to the South Island with the crew. He wasn't surprised, though; anyone who saw Zowie around Orlando would immediately notice how smitten she was with him.

Elijah himself had observed them plenty of times, seeing with his own eyes the proof of Zowie's interest. It had been a bit upsetting at first while his own interest was still strong, but as he and Zowie spent more time together and the initial attraction turned into a friendship, other things became obvious to Elijah. Things such as Zowie's futile attempts to keep her interest hidden from William, and, especially, the way Orlando, while still friendly towards her, did his best to keep his distance whenever Zowie's advances became more forward and determined.

Now _that_ had been especially surprising for Elijah. He could clearly remember how, at first, Orlando's interest in Zowie had been there for anyone observant enough to see. But at some point along the way, things had changed. After that party at Peter's house, the night Elijah had questioned Orlando about his intentions regarding Zowie, Elijah couldn't say if his colleague's interest was still there. Orlando was closer to Zowie than ever, but whatever traces of attraction that could once be seen in his eyes... they were all gone.

Did his questioning had something to do with it? Elijah couldn't know, and he had the feeling he would never know the answer. Had Zowie noticed that change? A quick look in her direction was all he needed to know. Longing burnt there, along with the tiniest hint of sadness, but none of them could shadow the dreamy glow that made them sparkle. No, Zowie hadn't noticed.

"You two have grown quite close, haven't you?"

Elijah's question caught Zowie off guard. It seemed innocent enough, but an alarm went off in her head at the implications. Elijah was amazing, and Zowie knew she could trust him, but this... it was far too important for her. Nothing in the world would make her risk her chances with Orlando, not even Lij.

Hoping her eyes didn't show the concern that whirled inside her, Zowie finally looked up. Discreetly, she scanned Elijah's curious gaze, finding nothing but innocent interest in it. The fact that Elijah was an actor, that he had long ago learned how to train his expression to appear innocent or clueless, echoed in the back of her mind. She couldn't ignore that, but she wouldn't hold that against him either.

"I suppose we have. It's hard not to after all the time we've spent together, don't you think?" Then, giving him an amused look, she added, "You're not going to go all jealous on me, are you? I mean, we're here, together, all alone... it's not like you have to share me with anyone else!"

"I'm not so sure," Elijah argued, following her lead. "I mean, if it isn't some other guy, then it's school. Thing is, you're never around. I'm afraid we're going to have to set things straight, Zowie."

Zowie laughed and Elijah smiled along, not needing to hear anything else. In her words, and above all, in all those things she had left unsaid, Elijah could read the answer he had been looking for. When labelling her feelings for Orlando as friendship, equalling them to those she held for Elijah, Zowie had aptly dodged any further discussion.

Zowie's determination worried Elijah, though. He didn't want for her to blind herself to the fact that Orlando obviously wanted nothing but to be friends with her and end up wounded beyond belief. Still, there wasn't much he could do about it; knowing Zowie, Elijah was aware that him interfering wouldn't sit very well with her. That didn't mean he would stop observing, although Elijah hoped the moment to jump into action never came.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

"Reading again, Zowie? What is it this time?"

Orlando couldn't help his curiosity, not when Zowie produced a rather large textbook from her bag. It wasn't unusual of her to sneak some reading in whenever she had the chance; with only a couple of weeks into the shooting, Zowie would always bring a book with her every time she got to tag along with her dad. It didn't surprise Orlando anymore, but honestly, he couldn't imagine what other subject she could possibly be studying for. He knew her finals were coming, and as far as he could see, he wouldn't be surprised if Zowie knew the entire curriculum by now.

His half perplexed, half curious question earned him a smile from Zowie as she opened the book.

"English, with some Maori thrown in for good measure," she answered, going back to the article she had been reading in the car, trying to make some sense of it.

If only it were that easy! The text itself wasn't overly complex; at least, not any more than she was used to. Zowie's problem, however, had a completely different source: Orlando and his transition from his dark self into the blond, graceful Legolas. Even if it wasn't the first time she witnessed the process, it never failed to catch Zowie's complete attention and wonder.

How did they manage to physically change Orlando in such way that it was almost impossible to recognise him? Not that it would ever happen to her, of course... his familiar and beloved features were long since carved in Zowie's memory where they would remain forever. Nonetheless, she instinctively knew more than a few people would walk past him when in costume, unable to recognise him.

Using Zowie's distraction in his favour, Orlando studied her through the mirror as Paula, the prosthetics expert, glued his elf ears to his human ones. Deep in thought and focused on her book, Zowie made it appear as if whatever she was reading was far more interesting than it surely was. As he stared at her, Orlando wondered how Zowie managed to do all those things she set out to do without ever relegating a single one of them. School, football, the movies, the much dreaded finals that were just around the corner... he admired her energy and determination. At her age, keeping himself as busy as Zowie did had been the last thing in Orlando's mind.

A smile played on his lips when Zowie let out a frustrated huff. Apparently, her fascination with the book had finally begun to fade. Not that it surprised him, though; as devoted to her studies as Zowie could be, that didn't mean she still didn't resent spending so much time doing it. That was one of the benefits of having spent so much time together: Orlando was beginning to know her more than he had ever imagined he would.

Coming to that particular point in their friendship wasn't something Orlando had planned, or even expected, but he had to admit that he had never stood a chance against Zowie. She had patiently, yet with a certainty that destroyed every bit of his initial reluctance, found her way to his heart making it impossible for Orlando to imagine Rings without her around. Zowie made him laugh, was always there when he needed to talk and, needless to say, she always went out of her way to help him whenever he couldn't get some of his moves right.

As time passed by, Orlando had discovered himself appreciating Zowie in a way that had nothing to do with the attraction he had felt long ago. Sure, there was no possible way a healthy young man such as him could ever overlook Zowie, but he stubbornly fought those persistent feelings. But as time passed by and he grew busier, the inner credo he repeated over and over like a mantra had finally sunk in: he had to focus on the movies and nothing else. Ignoring Zowie was easier said than done, though. There was always a touch, a light brush of skin against skin that made his determination tremble dangerously.

Fortunately for Orlando, Paula helped him snap back to reality before his thoughts strayed to unsafe grounds. Having run out of the special glue she needed to do her job, the woman excused herself, hurrying out of the trailer and leaving the door open behind her. Bored, Orlando's eyes drifted from Zowie to the limited view of the outside world he had thanks to the open door and the mirror. There wasn't much to look at, and for a while, he let his mind wander once more, not really paying attention to anything.

At one point, however, something caught Orlando's eye and, in awe, he admired the odd, improbable mixture of humans, orcs, and Hobbits walking past his door as incredulity painted his face. For a second, the sheer greatness of the project he was such a small part of overwhelmed him, rendering him speechless. Almost afraid the spell would break the minute he looked away, Orlando slowly turned his spinning chair, attentively studying the display of real and mythic races outside.

"Zow?"

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips. God knew Zowie loved Orlando with all her heart, but why? Why make conversation now, when she was finally making some sense of what she was reading? It wasn't easy for her to focus on anything besides Orlando when he was around, but she knew that in order to pass her final -and hopefully carry on living to turn eighteen-, she had to read that book. She didn't want Orlando to be offended, but when her eyes didn't leave the book, and her response was barely a mumble, she hoped he got the message.

"Umm?"

"Is this real?"

The amazed, disbelieving tone in Orlando's voice was enough to send Zowie's good intentions flying out the window.

"Real? What are you talking about?"

Slowly, as if in some sort of trance, Orlando pointed outside, Zowie's gaze following suit.

"Oh, I see."

Orlando's simple gesture helped everything become absolutely clear to her. Taking an instant to admire the scene unfolding outside, Zowie felt in her heart the same bewilderment she could see in Orlando's face. Not long ago, her life had revolved around school and what other activities she usually took on; the hectic, crazy environment that the movies brought along had been unimaginable.

Now she was a part of it.

"Wow."

Zowie's English teacher would have a thing or two to say about her inarticulate moment, that was for sure. But how could Zowie put words to the whirling emotions inside her? They were far too overwhelming for that.

Luckily for her, Orlando needed none of that, and they shared a stunned silence as they admired the incessant flow of the most diverse creatures outside. Somewhere in the back of her mind, it occurred to Zowie that the two of them, staring with what surely were dumbfounded expressions on their faces, were probably as funny as those strange creatures that puzzled them so much. And the moment an orc greeted them with a friendly wave, Zowie was sure it only got worse.

"Wait... did an orc just wave at us?" The shock in Orlando's voice was so amusing, Zowie couldn't control her giggles.

"I think he just did, yes... have you met him before? I mean, did you try to make a move on him on a night out in the town or something?"

The sided look Orlando shot in her direction was a dead give-away of how much her comment amused him. Or how much it didn't, actually.

"Can this get any more bizarre? I mean, more than it already is, of course!"

Zowie doubted she had an answer for that; knowing Peter, this was probably nothing but the beginning. Her feeling was reinforced when she spotted Viggo, in full costume and looking as regal as possible, coming their way. If that alone wasn't enough to prove Orlando was right, nothing else could.

"I have the feeling we've only seen the beginning of bizarre," Zowie said. "Who knows what else Peter has in store for us?"

Yet, before Orlando could even think of an answer, Viggo jumped into the trailer making it bounce under his energetic entrance. Standing there for a second, he must have realised that the greeting he was waiting for would never come the moment he looked at their faces. Eyeing both Zowie and Orlando curiously, Viggo then threw a quick glance over his shoulder with the feeling that he was missing something. Whatever it was that was going on outside, it had to be _really_ good to keep those two so entertained!

"What?"

Zowie couldn't help it. With a mischievous smile on her lips and a meaningful look in her eyes, she answered, "We were just admiring the freak show outside... until it came to us, that's all."

A roll of his eyes was all the answer Zowie got from him. Still grinning, she studied a full-costumed Viggo as he approached her, plopping down on a chair next to hers. He made an impressive sight in his ranger's clothes, but that halo of regal authority he brought along disappeared as soon as he propped his feet up on a large plastic box laying around.

"Very funny, Zowie," Viggo said, although not looking the least bit offended. "Not that elf boy here looks very normal either."

Having admired their banter from a safe distance, Orlando couldn't help but stiffen when he felt it directed at him. Suddenly realising that he was wearing a tiny, unflattering elastic cap that exposed, not just one human ear, but also an elvish one, Orlando felt he was drowning in self-consciousness.

Zowie, on the other hand, felt her smile widen to unseen proportions at his obvious embarrassment.

"Where's my camera when I need it?" She mused, a teasing hint in her voice.

Orlando's threatening look brought a smile to her lips, and Zowie wasted no time grieving over the lost opportunity. She would make sure to have plenty of chances to immortalise Orlando's metamorphosis in the future, even if that meant getting up at 5 AM for weeks in a row.

"Don't even think about it, Zow."

Had she ever received a warning as ineffective as that one? Surely not, Zowie thought as a glint of mischief sparkled in her eyes.

"Try and stop me."

Orlando was doing a good job, that much Zowie had to admit. There was a determined aura in his face, and the dark look he shot in her direction could have killed someone with a weaker heart.

"I will," he said, making Zowie's smile grow wider as she bore her eyes into his.

"I'll be waiting, then. Let's see if you're man enough to handle me."

Something in the way Zowie spoke those words made them appear laden with a completely different meaning to Orlando. Endless scenarios played in his mind, and he only managed to control himself when he remembered Viggo was in the same room.

Striking conversation after that, with a wildly thumping heart and a mind that insisted on conjuring the most diverse images, was anything but easy to Orlando. Viggo appeared to have absolutely no intention of helping him in that aspect, busy as he was studying his boots, so Orlando was saved by the bell the moment Paula walked back in, jar of glue in hand, and William close behind.

"Good morning, everyone," William said, exchanging smiles and waves with the trailer's population before Zowie stood up. Posing an arm on her shoulders, he looked down at her with a questioning glance. "Have you behaved?"

The angelic smile Zowie pulled on William's benefit could have got her away with murder. Still, William eyed both actors for confirmation, only getting smiles and nods as a response.

"I can see you're perfectly comfortable here," William pointed out. "But I need your help, and I reckon Viggo and Orlando can cope without you for an hour or so."

Zowie nodded reluctantly. Slumping her shoulders to let her dad know that she wasn't entirely happy with his request, but that she would do it anyway, she gathered her things in her bag.

"Would you mind if I left this here?" She asked Orlando as Paula glued on the elvish ear that was left. "I don't want to carry it around the entire set."

Since he couldn't nod without ruining Paula's job, Orlando only smiled in agreement. Zowie winked at him and, before long, she was waving goodbye to both actors and following her dad out of the trailer. Small talk abounded as Paula finished with his prosthetic ears, but it wasn't until she had left that Viggo finally said what was on his mind.

"I don't mean to snoop, but... I'd be careful if I were you."

Shocked, Orlando spun his chair and looked at his colleague with a puzzled expression.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Zowie," Viggo said, his voice even as he toyed with the plastic jars around him. "She's very pretty, I give you that... but can also be a lot of trouble. If I were you, I'd keep my distance. Even if her father wasn't an excellent swordsman."

Although still confused, Orlando could feel dread in his stomach. His friend wasn't being judgemental, that much he could see. Viggo was merely stating a fact, and that was what concerned Orlando the most. While voicing his opinion and advice, Viggo had portrayed Orlando's situation so well, it almost scared him. Obviously, he wasn't doing a very good job of hiding what little interest in Zowie remained inside him, and he knew Viggo's advice was well meant, but what to do? He couldn't sever all bonds just like that!

His nod was the only sign that he had understood the message. It puzzled Orlando how, not long ago, Stuart had encouraged him to make a move on Zowie and how, before him, now stood a man who advised him to stay away in order to protect his integrity. Any other day, any other person, and that warning could have been considered too much, but when William was involved... he adored Zowie, and Orlando was sure Viggo wasn't exaggerating one bit.

He needed to listen to him. It wasn't going to be easy, but that was the last push Orlando needed in order to make up his mind. Friendship it was, then, he mused. Hurting Zowie was the last thing in his mind, and as for getting hurt by William, well... that didn't rank too high either!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13.**

There was an unspoken rule that said that, invariably, those changing rooms taken up by St. Mary's football team had to be a bit of a commotion. It couldn't be any other way, really, not with girls that seemed to be constantly looking for everything from hair scrunchies, to missing football shoes. Hence, small crises before a match weren't out of the ordinary. That Sunday, however, it was a thousand times worse. With the tournament's final only minutes away, the usual tension had reached epic levels.

"Nervous?"

There was such a pandemonium going on that Zowie wasn't sure she was even heard. Caroline, already in the bright blue goalkeeper's kit, looked up at her nonetheless. She had been very focused on pulling her hair back, making sure not a single strand remained loose, when Zowie's question caught her off guard. Not that it did anything to lessen her shock, though.

"Well, duh! It's the final, Zowie! I've played, what, a million matches since I was a kid?" Zowie arched her eyebrow at her statement making Caroline shrug. "Well, maybe not _that_ many, but the point is, I've been in a lot of matches before, and I've never been this nervous. And if you tell me you're not, then let me tell you something, Zow... you've got to be dead!"

Her remark provoked a hearty laughter in Zowie, one that continued until she plopped down on the bench beside her to tie her football shoes. Oh, if only Caroline knew! Zowie felt so anxious, so on edge, that she would gladly jump into the pitch right away, unable to stand that torturous wait any longer. And as far as she could see, the rest of her teammates' feelings weren't too different.

"Well, in that case, I'm a little nervous, yes," Zowie answered nonchalantly as she pulled her hair up in a ponytail. The roll in Caroline's eyes, though, didn't go unnoticed by Zowie, and it made her smile mischievously. "alright, alright... I _am_ nervous! I'm scared to death, okay? I was so nervous this morning I barely had any breakfast, and I'm sure my mum's out there thinking I'll faint or something!"

Tugging at her gloves, Caroline gave her a wicked smile.

"Better to faint out of starvation than get sick in the middle of the pitch, if you ask me. I don't think I could ever get over something like that."

"Are you implying I could?" Zowie asked, surprised at her teammate's words.

Caroline shrugged, fixing her gloves more securely in place.

"Let's put it this way. You'll be out of St Mary's in a couple of months, and no one will remember something like that. Even if they do, you won't be around," she pointed out matter-of-factly. "But me... I still have a whole year left. I could never live that down."

Zowie grinned as she pulled her black socks over her shin protectors.

"Let's pray it never happens, then. If you feel like getting sick, just faint. That'll do."

"Right, and have my mum running into the pitch, screaming for an ambulance? No, thank you. Not with all those boys around."

Zowie couldn't help but laugh at the mental picture Caroline's words brought. Yet, deep down inside, she agreed with her feelings in a way her friend couldn't even imagine. One thing was for sure: Zowie would much rather die than make a fool of herself in front of Orlando. He was in attendance that day, somewhere in the stands, and she wanted so badly to impress him that something along the lines of the scene Caroline had depicted was Zowie's worst nightmare.

It hadn't been easy to convince Orlando to attend the final. Sure, he had congratulated Zowie profusely after the semi final, patiently sitting through her extensive review of the match before, once again, thanking her for the invitation. Yet, despite her excitement, Orlando had also made it very clear that there was a possibility, he didn't know how big or small, that he might be out of town that Sunday. With the shooting schedule getting busier every day, Zowie was sure he didn't want her to be disappointed if he didn't show up. It didn't actually please her, but she couldn't ignore the importance of his job.

Nonetheless, Zowie's heart now soared with a joyous giddiness. Had there ever been a happier person than her the moment Orlando came to sight? She doubted it. Spotting him as William parked the car outside the small stadium, never in her life had Zowie felt such a strong need as the one that urged her to jump out of the car and into his arms. Deliriously happy as she was, she had barely managed to keep herself in control, only allowing herself to give Orlando a hug that, although much too quick for her liking, would keep William calm.

The only dark cloud in Zowie's otherwise clear and bright horizon was Elijah's absence. He was busy filming somewhere in the South Island, but in spite of the distance, had wanted to wish her good luck over a long phone call the previous night. Not having him around did put a damper on Zowie's mood, even if Elijah, as he had put it himself, didn't understand _"a single thing about soccer"_. Teasing, Zowie had told him that he could always start off by calling it _football_ instead of _soccer_ , but she had the feeling she would be hearing the American term for a long time. At the thought of her friend, Zowie couldn't help the wistful sigh that left her lips. Had Elijah been there, everything would have been perfect.

Yet, there was no time to waste on dwellings as Coach Schumacher walked in, making her usual impressive sight. She was impossible to ignore, so all thoughts concerning anything else but the match were pushed to the very back of Zowie's mind. If she wanted to win, and she did badly, she needed every bit of her energy focused on the game and on how to better serve her team. Orlando, no matter how handsome and interesting he was, wasn't a part of the opposite team, so he needed to be pushed aside for a while. At least until she spotted him on the stands, but that was something, right?

 

***

 

Opposite to Zowie's perception, time indeed ticked by. Problem was, it did it at such a slow pace, she was sure she would lose her mind before long. Couldn't the referee simply blow the whistle and put an end to her torment? St. Mary's was up on the scoreboard by 2 to 1, but the girls from the Wellington Girls' School wouldn't give up without a fight. They kept trying, no matter what, and Zowie dreaded the thought of one of their strikers slipping past St. Mary's defence bringing the game to a tie. If that came to happen, the match would continue until someone finally scored the winning goal. That, or penalty kicks. The thought made her shiver, and for the first time in the long match, Zowie felt the pang of nervousness biting at her stomach.

They were so close! If she concentrated hard enough, Zowie was sure she could feel the trophy in her hands. She wanted it, wanted to bring it to St Mary's, and hoped the next generations would keep it there for a good few years to come. But first, they needed to stop and block every single tactic the other team could come up with, and if asked from her, Zowie was determined to lose a limb in order to achieve that. Not that Coach Schumacher would require anything less from her players, anyway.

With her mind on the game, Zowie glanced around, hoping to find an opening through the Wellington Girls' School's tough defence. She failed to, but in the process, she spotted one of her teammates struggling between two opposite players. Cathy wasn't too far away from her, and while she was doing a really good job of keeping the ball under control, Zowie knew she couldn't last much longer.

"Cathy!"

A brief raise of her head in Zowie's direction was Cathy's sole sign of recognition. Having spotted her on the pitch, she gave the ball one of those skilful kicks of hers, landing it exactly where she meant to: right at Zowie's feet.

There wasn't much time to think. Zowie knew that, while most of the opposite team was on a forward position, the two tall defenders that stood between her and the goal had a good chance of bringing her down. They had already, and quite a few times at that; Zowie's shins would carry the memories of their tough game for a long time.

Yet, before Zowie tried, once again, to force her way through them, Cathy came into her range of view. This time, however, she had positioned herself a few good meters ahead, in a straight line between Zowie and the goal. Very aware that it could be the last chance to secure the score, Zowie swiftly kicked the ball back in Cathy's direction. Not two seconds later, she sprinted forward, followed closely by Zowie for support.

But Cathy, as skilful as she was, didn't need it. Having taken the two defenders by surprise, she was able to send the ball past the goalkeeper and seal St. Mary's victory. Her goal, the victory goal, managed to get every St. Mary's supporter on their feet to cheer for the ecstatic girls celebrating on the pitch.

Overjoyed and relieved that the score was definitely in their favour, Zowie was the first one to reach Cathy, easily catching the smaller girl as she jumped in her arms squealing with joy. The rest of the team followed suit, all of them wanting a piece of their golden girl, the one leading them to victory with her two goals and her amazing playing.

It took the referee a good deal of time to get the game going once more. It would have taken him even longer if Coach Schumacher hadn't ordered her girls to stop celebrating because the game wasn't over yet. Somewhat sobered up, yet still very giddy, they all went back to their usual positions with Zowie and Cathy standing side by side by the middle line with smiles on their faces.

"If we win this, I'll be your slave for the rest of my life, Cat. I swear!" Zowie vowed, her blue eyes shining with joy. Cathy laughed as the referee's whistle pierced the air around them, signalling a new start of the match.

"I'll keep your word!" she exclaimed as she sprinted forward, leaving Zowie smiling widely behind her.

Even if her heart thundered in anticipation, Zowie refused to let that affect her, concentrating on the match instead. It seemed the opposite team had found a new vigour after Cathy's goal, and all of St. Mary's efforts were focused on keeping their own goal safe. However, before long, the referee checked his chronometer and, raising both his arms up to the sky, he blew the whistle two times signalling the end of the game... and the beginning of St. Mary's celebration.

That simple gesture worked wonders for Zowie, easing all her worries and concerns, making them vanish in the air as she ran to meet the rest of the team. Giddy with all the joy bubbling inside her, she jumped on someone's back. Whose back it was, she didn't know; Zowie only hoped she hadn't hurt her teammate with her exuberant rapture.

The girls from the bench ran past Coach Schumacher, causing her to stumble for balance before she too made her way to the celebrating team, a proud and satisfied grin on her face. She reached the bouncy group and, without actually knowing how, the coach found herself surrounded by her disciples as they jumped up and down, happily chanting her name. At first, she tried to put on a straight face, but much to her dismay, Coach Schumacher joined the girls as they chorused the college's name, proud of their school and their achievement. That was one of the things she had been after when taking over the team's coaching duties. Hopefully, that was a moment none of those girls would forget and, if in years to come they remembered that sunny Sunday morning with a proud smile, then it would all be worth the effort.

Anything that needed to be done from then on took longer than anyone could have ever imagined. Joyous as they were, the St. Mary's girls simply didn't want to stop. However, once they realised the party wasn't ending there, they took their time to congratulate the Wellington Girls' School team on their excellent game, commenting how hard it had been for them to finally beat them. Of course, the other team could have done without any of that, but the good spirit remained, and as they collected their medals -silver ones, Zowie thought with a happy grin-, the St. Mary's girls applauded them, remaining in a respectful silence as each girl was named. Not that the commanding look in Coach Schumacher's face had anything do with it, of course.

Nonetheless, when the time came for them to get their own medals, the girls lost all pretence of calmness. One by one, each of them was summoned, their names clearly audible through the small venue's speakers. As they did, they were rewarded with loud cheering from both her teammates on the pitch, and a smaller, sometimes lower, ovation from the family in the stands.

When Zowie's time finally came, her quick and light step spoke volumes of the joy in her heart. Then, as soon as the medal touched her chest, Zowie felt the intensity of what they had just achieved hitting her like a tidal wave. The trophy was theirs; the trophy they had fought so hard for would now be on the college's stands where it belonged. Her amazement was so great, Zowie only looked up when she heard a familiar voice calling her name, her smile never leaving her face as the college's principal congratulated her with a proud smile. After thanking her as politely as she could in her excitement -after all, Mrs. Michaels was still the principal, whether in or outside the school-, the first thing she did was to look for her family in the stands.

Finding them wasn't very hard. In fact, it was _very_ easy, Zowie mused with a big, wide smile as she spotted them. Her mum, always composed and maternal, jumped up and down along with Jewell, neither of them looking older than twelve. Brooke was the third partner in crime, bouncing like crazy in her spot. As for her dad, Zowie found him with his video camera in hand, capturing every moment with a proud smile. Even Jared looked overjoyed, sporting a makeshift banner with his sisters' school name printed on it that Zowie knew nothing of. She waved at them, her happiness obvious in every bit of her being, before her eyes sought the one person her heart craved for the most.

Orlando stood right beside Jared as if her brother, in a way that told Zowie she owed him a big one, had rescued him from being confined to a seat right next to William and Noemie. Or God forbid, between them so they could cross examine him in tandem. One more of the loud bunch that made her family, Orlando waved at her with a big smile that made her knees buckle. He was happy for her, he felt proud, and for a second, Zowie wished she could run up to him, give him a big hug, and shower him with kisses the way her heart begged her for. Instead, and if only to keep the facade up in her parents' benefit, she held the medal up and blew them a kiss that, while seemingly directed at every Hart and their companions, was only meant for the tall, lanky guy with the Mohawk standing beside them.

Someone called her name, and Zowie rushed to join her team. Before long, they were all summoned once more and Cathy, with a smile so bright it could have lit up Wellington in its entirety, accepted the trophy, raising it high above her head and kick-starting another round of celebrations. Then, mimicking those footballers they admired, they did their own triumphal round of the pitch with the trophy, the most sought-after object of the day, travelling from hand to hand.

That sunny Sunday would be forever engraved in Zowie's mind. She knew that no matter what happened in the future, she could always look back to that day and remember that there was always a chance to make a dream come true. Many others awaited fulfilment, but there was nothing in Zowie's life that said she couldn't bring them to reality. For Zowie, everything was possible, and that included having Orlando beside her as her official boyfriend. That was the only obstacle between her and pure bliss, and she knew nothing would keep her from fighting for what she wanted. Nothing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14.**

She never stood a chance against her mum.

Before Zowie could even think of stopping her, Noemie had already embraced her in a hug so tight, it robbed her of all breath. Then, as if not satisfied with that, Noemie managed, in between showering Zowie's face with kisses, to tell her how proud of her she was, bringing a giddy smile to the girl's face. In any other circumstance, her mum's public display of affection would have been, at the very least, embarrassing. That day, however, Zowie didn't mind it one bit. If anything, she only wished for the halo of exuberance and physical affection to extend to the young man standing last in line, his brown gaze focused on something she couldn't see.

However, Zowie soon realised that reaching Orlando wouldn't be as easy as she had expected; not with the long line of family and friends standing in her way. To make matters worse, Noemie took ages to let her go, and when she finally did, Zowie realised her dad had every intention of monopolising her. There was such a turmoil going on around her, and so much happiness and anticipation buzzing within her, that Zowie answered William's questions almost on autopilot. As happy as he was increasing the already extensive Hart family video collection, William didn't notice how Zowie's clear blue eyes drifted towards Orlando more often that he would feel comfortable with.

Yet, Jewell wasn't especially happy with letting William monopolise the star of the day. Sure, she knew that, whenever he had a camera in hand, he set out to make the most incredible home video ever, thinking of lights, shades, framing, and things the rest of the family couldn't care any less about. But since Jewell seconded their feelings a hundred percent, she happily bounced into the picture with a delighted squeal, locking her arms around Zowie's waist and almost knocking her down in the process.

Her little sister's outburst caught Zowie completely by surprise, but all traces of annoyance at her exuberance were lost the minute she spotted Jewell's bright smile. Yes, Jules was a bit of a pain most of the times, but she was her sister nonetheless, and that adoring look in her face made up for any inconveniences.

With Jewell's arms still locked around her, Zowie did her best to move down the line of people, her heart looking forward to the moment she stood in front of him. Oh, if she could only jump into Orlando's arms and kiss him as freely as she wished to! Her mind did the trick, conjuring pleasant images that warmed her; images she did her best to shake off of her mind the moment she discovered herself standing in front of her brother.

As soon as she looked into his eyes, Zowie couldn't help the little grin that tickled her lips. Jared was the picture of reluctance, and she didn't need to be told to realise that her brother would much rather die than get caught showing any affection for his sister. And in public, nonetheless! He still gave her a quick hug, though, but Zowie didn't miss the way his eyes scanned the crowd around them afterwards, making her roll her eyes. Obviously, sixteen-year-old boys thought themselves either too old or too smart for public displays of affection.

Too bad Zowie thought otherwise.

Her natural mischievousness, combined with her exhilaration, made Zowie act before Jared could even look up. Catching him completely unaware, she pulled him close and, much to his dismay, planted an obnoxiously loud kiss on his cheek.

"Zowie!" There was such aggravation and disgust in his voice as he rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand that Zowie laughed at the top of her lungs. "Gross!"

Zowie's laughter took on a slightly evil hint as Jared shot her offended looks. What were younger brothers for, then, if one couldn't make their lives a bit of a hell every once in a while?

Still smiling, Zowie looked down at Jewell when she called her name.

"You did great, Zow!" Jewell exclaimed, staring up at her sister with adoring eyes. "I'll join the team next year, I promise. I'll make sure the Hart girls are remembered as the best players to ever be part of St. Mary's team!"

Zowie smiled encouragingly, not having the heart to tell Jules that Zowie wasn't the most valuable player in the team or that Jewel herself had little, next to none, talent for football. What kept her from worrying about a potential disappointment, however, was the fact that Jules would most likely forget all about her promise the moment they left that place.

As Zowie busied herself pondering the odds of Jewell's sudden interest in football, her eyes were drawn to Brooke's. Her friend's gaze sparkled with glee and delight, and the smile on her lips couldn't possibly be any brighter. Then, when Brooke held her arms open for her, mischief written all over her face, Zowie knew it would be better to brace herself for whatever was to come.

"Eat your little Italian heart out, Alex Del Piero! A girl can play better than you!"

Laughing heartily at her friend's comment, Zowie threw herself in Brooke's arms.

"Don't you _ever_ talk about Alessandro that way again, you hear me?"

The fake threat in her words did nothing but make them giggle. Still in a tight hug, the girls jumped up and down in their spot, bringing laughter to those around them at their exuberance.

Excited words came and went between both friends, but the moment Brooke chose to whisper in Zowie's ear instead, a slow grin played on the latter's lips.

"Want me to distract your parents now?"

A quick look around told Zowie it would be stupid of her to waste that opportunity. Her parents were ecstatic and, for the time being, busy chatting to some other parents gathered in a small group not too far away. If she wanted to have her way with Orlando without prying eyes, she couldn't let that chance pass by.

"That would be very much appreciated," she whispered back, conspiracy heavy in her voice before giving Brooke a thankful look. "I owe you one, B. A really big one!"

Brooke winked and smiled.

"Nothing that can't be solved by making me your maid of honour, of course."

Giggling, Zowie left her friend's hug. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she registered Brooke quickly joined the group of parents and maneuvering William and Noemie so their backs would be turned towards Zowie allowing her enough privacy for the moment to come.

Yet, as attentive as Zowie could be to her parents' actions, nothing would be able to distract her from the tall young man staring at her with a lovely grin on his lips.  Keeping herself from running towards Orlando was harder than Zowie had ever imagined, but she did her best to appear cool, calm and collected, and in complete control of her actions. Not that the urge to jump him had faded, though.

Standing before Orlando, Zowie looked up at him, her blue eyes glowing with happiness as she coquettishly brushed some loose strands of hair behind her ear.

"Congratulations, Zowie," Orlando said, the grin never leaving his handsome face. "I have to admit I don't really know a lot about football, but you did really, really well out there. You deserve every bit of that trophy."

The pride in his words brought a smile to Zowie's face, one that could have easily lit up a small country. Did Orlando realise what he did to her? Her heart fluttered, and that flimsy determination, the one that kept her from jumping him, had never been so close to crumbling down to pieces around her.

"Don't I get a hug after doing so well?" she said, the cheeky smile belying the seemingly innocent tone in her voice.

When Orlando giggled, Zowie's heart warmed, remembering the first time she had witnessed that reaction. While thinking it funny at first, something had changed, and instead of using it against him, Zowie now loved it as she did every other part of Orlando. It was his dorkiest part, for sure, but also the most endearing one, she mused with a grin.

There was a nervous hint to it, though, one that Zowie failed, or chose not to, notice as she closed the distance between them. Her pace was intentionally slow, and Zowie savoured every instant, every step she took in his direction, relishing in the anticipation that got her heart thumping madly in her chest. It wasn't the first hug they shared, but once their bodies touched, Zowie felt such an overwhelming joy surging within her, she could have very well died.

God, it felt so good, so right to be in Orlando's arms that Zowie could have remained there for an eternity. His warmth seeped through his thin sweater, and her body molded against his, making her wish those fleeting moments weren't so brief or so scarce. Couldn't Orlando see they belonged together?

Sighing a happy sigh, Zowie hid her face in the curve of his neck, pressing herself more tightly against him. In that precise moment, Zowie couldn't care less whether her parents saw her or if they had a heart attack at the sight. She had just won the trophy she had been dreaming of for years, and she was in Orlando's embrace. Could life get any better than that? Actually, yes, Zowie mused. All it took was for Orlando to realise that he loved her just as much as she loved him, but considering the way he held her, Zowie felt in her heart that the moment wasn't too far away. Indeed, things couldn't get much better for her.

Out of the very few things that could have made Zowie leave Orlando's arms, the most successful one was hearing a meaningful and persistent clearing of a throat somewhere near her. The annoying sound was effective: it shattered her bliss to pieces, and opening her eyes, she shot an evil look to the poor soul that had dared to interrupt.

Jared didn't look one bit intimidated, though. Instead, he compelled Zowie's gaze until she spotted her parents coming their way, William's eyes fixed on her with a look that could very well be labelled as murderous. Whatever offence she had felt at the interruption soon vanished, and she offered Jared a thankful smile. Then, knowing better than to push her luck, Zowie put on her most innocent expression and reluctantly, yet slowly, stepped away from Orlando, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Had he got the message right? She couldn't know. She would make sure to explain it to him later, though. Of all the people Zowie didn't want to upset, Orlando was definitely at the top of the list.

The moment her parents reached them and William gave her a look that told her he knew exactly what she was doing, Zowie knew it would be better for everyone if she stepped away from Orlando. At least until her dad cooled off some.

"The other girls are heading for the showers. Why don't you join them so we can continue this some place else?"

Zowie wasn't dumb. She was also very good at reading between the lines of William's speeches, and what this one actually meant to say was something along the lines of _"step away from him before this gets ugly"_. What William hadn't counted on, however, was that Zowie knew exactly what to do to wrap him around her finger. When she smiled up at him and then planted a quick kiss on his cheek, she knew by her dad's smile that, once again, she had got away with anything that had upset him. Still grinning, Zowie decided not to push her luck any further and sprinted away towards the changing rooms.

Then, having ran only a couple of meters, she suddenly stopped and, glancing at her family over her shoulder, she called out, "I promise to be quick, okay?"

The collective groan she got in return made her frown and poke her tongue at them before laughing joyfully. Yes, she did take a _long_ time in the shower. No, they were _not_ going to change that, so why even bother with complaining? That wasn't going to work, they should know that by now! Still smiling, she resumed her jogging towards the dressing room, sure her day could only improve from now on.

***

Saying goodbye to her teammates took Zowie longer than she had expected, but even knowing her family waited outside, she still couldn't rush the process. There was always someone who needed to tell her or ask her something, and even when she had long since showered and changed into her favourite pair of jeans, low-heeled boots and a flattering fuchsia top, she still lingered by the door, backpack in hand.

In her benefit, it had to be said that Zowie had indeed tried to leave, but Cathy simply refused to let her go. At least, not until she got the answers to all of her questions. And since said questions centred around a topic that was much too interesting for Zowie, she lingered, delaying her departure. How could she ever say no to talking about Orlando?

While Cathy wasn't the first of her teammates to interrogate Zowie about Orlando, she was, by far, the most determined one. Barely giving her a chance to breathe, Cathy shot question after question, wanting to unveil the mystery that Orlando was. However, and while Zowie felt like she could spend an entire day talking about him without getting tired, she remained purposely coy about any details. Sure, she loved hearing how adorable and cute they looked together, but that didn't mean she felt very inclined to elaborate on things her teammates really didn't need to know. If she found it hard to share certain things regarding Orlando with Brooke, why would she do it with the entire St. Mary's football team instead?

By the time Zowie finally stepped out, she was sure she would find her family either gone or asleep on the stands. She was proved wrong, however, when she spotted her parents busy talking to Cathy's parents not too far away. As for her siblings, Jared was deep in conversation with Brooke which intrigued Zowie. She headed in their direction, but once Jared spotted her, he brought the exchange to an abrupt end. That gesture was enough to make Zowie frown.

Were they arguing? The feeling faded a little when Brooke gave her a bright, sincere smile, but never completely left her. Zowie felt confused, sure, but there was simply too much happiness inside her to let any dark thoughts cloud her joy. Glancing around, she realised Jewell was nowhere to be seen. She was surely talking to some friend she had ran into there. Since Jules was a very sociable creature and knew pretty much everyone in attendance that day, they would surely have a hard time prying her from whoever she was busy socialising with.

Someone else was missing too, and Zowie frowned, scanning her surroundings as dreaded scenarios played in her mind. Those upsetting images did nothing to ease her concerns, so Zowie worked hard to push them to the darkest corner of her mind. After all, just because Orlando was nowhere in sight didn't necessarily mean anything wrong, right?

Turning her attention back to Brooke and Jared, she noticed something akin to concern in their eyes. In her brother's case, however, it was mixed with a hint of anger that puzzled her. Had she really taken so long in the showers that her brother had to look that way? She knew Jared was prone to overreacting, though, so she approached them with a grin.

"Stop looking at me that way, Jay. You look as if you could eat me alive."

Her tone was accusing, and Jared had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Do I?"

Zowie nodded. Then, forgetting all about Jared's odd behaviour, she asked, "Did I miss anything?"

At her question, Jared and Brooke shared a quick look, one Zowie missed as she scanned the crowd once more.

"Well..."

"No!" Jared's sudden exclamation interrupted Brooke, successfully bringing Zowie's attention to him. "I mean, you didn't miss anything. We were just killing time here, weren't we, Brooke?"

If Zowie found anything suspicious about the tone in which Jared addressed her friend, she chose not to mention it. Instead, having spotted Orlando coming their way, a bright smile lit up her whole face. Had she really thought he would desert her just like that? It's not like Orlando would vanish into the air and, besides, he would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, right?

"Hi there," Zowie greeted him softly, a wide smile on her full lips.

Coming to a halt beside her, Orlando offered her a grin that disarmed her.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked, his weight shifting from his heels to his toes in a rather funny way.

"Yes, I am. I just don't know how long my parents will take with Emma's, though... they seem to be having one hell of a time." Shrugging, Zowie then turned her attention to Orlando, adopting a flirty stance as she stared up at him with inviting eyes. "You'll join us, right? We'll have lunch at Brooke's uncle's restaurant. It's a great place, you can't say no!"

When Orlando's eyes left hers, if only for the briefest instant, Zowie felt dread pooling in her stomach. However, not a second later, she scolded herself. She was reading too much into it, that was it. Couldn't he simply be anxious to leave? With that thought it mind, Zowie never allowed her warm smile to falter... at least, not until Orlando spoke after long seconds of silence.

"Actually, I can't. Something came up, and..." he gave Zowie a regretful look. "I'm really, really sorry, Zow. I wish I could go, but..."

Disappointment overwhelmed Zowie. She tried to conceal it, but it didn't take long for her to realise she wasn't that good of an actress and that her feelings were there, clear and obvious on her face for anyone to see. Something had come up? What could that be? Sunday's were the cast's days off, that's why Orlando was there in the first place!

"But... what happened? Did Peter call you? I mean, if he needs you to shoot something on your day off, it better be good, and more than necessary, because I just can't see the point on-"

"It's not that, Zowie," Orlando interrupted her, clearly uncomfortable now. Understanding the matter was just as bad for him as it was for her did ease some of Zowie's pain, even if her happiness level had dropped to a point that should be considered illegal on a joyous day like that. "I'll call you later, okay? Just promise me you'll enjoy yourself, Zowie. I'd hate to ruin your day."

How long did it take Zowie to finally nod in agreement? She didn't know. And although sadness clung to her, noticing how troubled Orlando was did manage to ease some of her pain. It wouldn't fade anytime soon, but the thought that he didn't want to leave was a welcomed balm to Zowie's wounded soul. Letting out a long, defeated sigh, she looked up at him with pain-stricken blue eyes.

"Just make sure you call, okay?"

The guilt lingering inside Orlando grew to incredible proportions at her words. As if he didn't feel bad enough already! Orlando felt miserable for leaving Zowie, especially when she was so happy by just having him around, but there was a tiny little voice inside him that kept whispering that, perhaps, it would all be for the better. Not that the thought made Orlando feel any less of a bastard, though.

He had spotted her in the stands, a lovely blonde with amazing green eyes offering him shy, pretty smiles from her spot next to her family. At first, Orlando had smiled back, not once thinking of any future possibilities. However, when her gaze lingered on him, and her smiles turned more and more flirty, it had become impossible for Orlando to ignore the implications. Torn, he hadn't been sure what to do, but when she approached him right after Zowie headed for the showers, Orlando hadn't been able to say no. He and Lauren, the pretty blonde, now had a post-match lunch date.

Lauren was pretty, and judging by what little he knew of her after a few minutes of conversation, she was really nice too. Of course, he could easily be proven wrong in less than an hour, but he was still willing to give her a chance. Moreover, Orlando was willing to go through the process and get to know Lauren before coming to a decision about her.

Why did he feel so bad about it, then?

The answer came easily. He was walking away on Zowie on one of the happiest days of her life, knowing full well he wasn't just disappointing her, but also lying to her. And still, he couldn't bring himself to find Lauren and tell her to postpone their date. If anything, Zowie needed to realise that while Orlando loved her dearly, he did it as a friend and nothing more. Even though he would never flaunt Lauren in front of her, Zowie still needed to understand that he was doing it in her benefit.

Giving Zowie a shaky smile, Orlando posed a quick kiss on her cheek. Then, before she could say or ask anything else that made his guilt even greater, he quickly walked away, hoping he didn't come across as eager. Hurting Zowie's feelings wasn't something he intended to do, no matter how badly he wished for her to see they were friends and nothing more.

As Orlando walked away, Zowie stared at his back feeling completely dejected. He was gone! She was flabbergasted. Orlando hadn't wanted to elaborate on what was going on, but Zowie would make sure to find out everything about it as soon as she had the chance. Which she would make sure happened soon, of course.

Sighing, Zowie turned to Brooke and Jared with a sad expression on her face.

"I don't believe it," she murmured, dropping her backpack at her feet as if all strength had left her. "I can't believe he's gone!"

When Zowie looked down, her face a picture of sadness, Jared threw a desperate glance in Brooke's direction, hoping to find in her the answer that escaped him.

He failed miserably.

In that instant, Jared could have broken down and cried. Never in his young life had he felt so torn over something he had no possibility of controlling whatsoever. Then, to make matters even worse, he could tell by the look on her face that Brooke was seriously considering sharing their discovery with Zowie, and alarm rose inside him. Lying to his sister seemed bad enough, but telling her the truth... that was even worse.

Could they really tell Zowie they had seen Orlando chatting with a girl in terms that could only be described as flirty? Jared didn't think so. While he and Brooke had been more willing to give Orlando a chance, the moment he excused himself and left, he took that chance away with him. They knew why he was leaving, they knew why he was making Zowie so sad. But they couldn't tell her without causing her a pain Jared would much rather avoid at all costs.

Maybe Brooke was right. Yes, it sounded cruel, but Zowie needed to understand that Orlando didn't reciprocate her feelings. Problem was, Jared didn't have the heart to do it, and he knew Brooke didn't either. Yes, he could argue with Zowie, he could purposely be a pain, but if someone tried to hurt her, then Jared would jump into action without a second thought.

He shook his head thoughtfully. It hadn't been easy, nor nice, to hear from Brooke how obsessed Zowie was with Orlando. Not only had the revelation shocked him, it had also left Jared feeling as if his hands were bound, at least as far as Orlando was concerned. Now, they had two options: they could either tell Zowie and break her heart, or pretend nothing had happened, since neither Brooke nor Jared had what it took to tear the blind from Zowie's eyes, hoping a simple disappointment would save her from a greater heartbreak.

"I'm sure there was something really important he needed to do, Zow," Jared said, begging Brooke for some back up with a silent look. She seemed reluctant for a second, but responded to his plea nonetheless.

"We can still have fun, Zowie! Come on, we're all here, and Orlando promised to call you later," Brooke said. "Maybe you can convince him to take you out or something."

Zowie nodded thoughtfully. While she hated the idea of Orlando leaving so suddenly, the thought of him taking her out, of the two of them sharing some time alone, was enough to cheer her up. Comforted by the thought, Zowie smiled and, picking up her backpack, followed Jared's lead towards their parents.

Leaving the venue wasn't so easy, though. Finding Jewell took some time, and even when they were all sitting comfortably in the car and ready to go, William discovered the street was busy with cars of the many families gathered ending whatever hopes they had for a quick exit. None of those things put a damper on Zowie's mood, though. Sitting in the backseat right by the window, she listened to Brooke as her eyes distractedly scanned the scenery outside. She didn't focus on anything in particular, letting her gaze linger here and there, until a familiar face caught her eye.

Orlando was still there! Zowie didn't need to look twice to make sure; she would recognise his face and tall body in a crowd of thousands. Knowing this was her last chance to convince him to skip whatever it was that had come up, Zowie was about to beg her dad to stop the car when she realised Orlando wasn't alone. In fact, he was all smiles and flirty gestures with a blonde she didn't recognise. The sight bothered her some, but nothing could have prepared Zowie for the way the world shattered to pieces around her when Orlando took the girl's hand in his.

There was a slow motion quality to that moment, as if some evil entity wished for Zowie not to miss a single moment, a single gesture coming and going between Orlando and that girl. Who was she? And what was Orlando doing with her? The moment his grip on her hand tightened some, Zowie felt it as if it were crushing her own heart.

Perhaps, some other man, some other situation, Zowie could have considered that blonde girl pretty, but not as she held the hand of the man Zowie herself loved. Any other guy, Zowie would have shrugged, feeling bad for a while before he was long forgotten. Orlando, however... every smile, every touch he shared with _her_ , was a smile, a touch he willingly and consciously denying Zowie of.

Was it possible to feel how a heart broke to pieces? Zowie was sure it was, for the pain inside her could only have its source from the grief that had surely shattered her soul. Her hopes, her dreams, they all crashed down around her, leaving her to face a cruel reality.

Of course he wouldn't tell her what was going on! No wonder Orlando had left in such a hurry... he wanted to be with _her_! And while anger tried to rear its ugly head inside Zowie, pain was much too strong to leave room for any other emotion. What did that blonde have that Zowie herself didn't? She didn't know Orlando like Zowie did, hadn't gone to the extents Zowie had to spend time with him at risk of upsetting her family. _She_ was someone who had appeared out of nowhere, ready to steal the man she loved. And what hurt her even more, Orlando happily agreed to it. What could be so wrong with her, Zowie thought, that Orlando needed to look for that in someone else?

Oblivious as to what pained Zowie, Brooke asked her something, hoping that their chatter and laughter would, somehow, help the images of Orlando lying to her friend disappear from her memory. However, Zowie didn't answer right away. It took Brooke a few seconds to notice it, but once she did, she discovered her friend was completely absorbed by something happening outside the car. Curious, she followed Zowie's gaze, a gasp rolling out of her lips as she realised what held her friend's attention so strongly that she had lost contact with everything around her.

Orlando. And the blonde.

Brooke's desperate blue eyes flew to her friend, and she cursed Orlando when she noticed the tears pooled in Zowie's pain-stricken eyes. God, if she could only lay her hands on him right now! Brooke had never felt such rage burning inside her. Couldn't Orlando see how obsessed Zowie was with him, how she felt for him something she had never felt for anyone else before in her life? As much as Brooke had dreaded it, he was now Zowie's entire world. If only she had had the courage to step up and tell Zowie what she thought about him, none of it would be happening. But it was too late now.

Beside her, Jared tensed up, catching Brooke's attention. Looking up at him, she realised he too had noticed Zowie's silence and had looked for its source. Now, his blue eyes blazed with anger, and he looked ready for a fight. Something told Brooke Jared's line of thought didn't differ much from her own, so she thanked God the moment the road suddenly cleared up and William could speed up the car with a relieved sigh.

It was far worse than Brooke had ever imagined. If only Zowie could open her eyes and see that Orlando would only bring her heartbreak! But knowing her, she knew there was a big chance Zowie would stubbornly hold on to her feelings for him, deafening herself to everything else as she had until now.

Holding Zowie's hand in hers, Brooke squeezed it gently hoping to give her the strength she surely needed in that moment. Snapping back to reality, Zowie gave her a desperate, tearful look that didn't ease any of Brooke's worries. She had witnessed Zowie's breakdowns, had seen how much they affected her, and knew Zowie was on the verge of one of them. In that moment, Brooke hated Orlando. Why had he come to New Zealand? Why he, of all people? And why on Earth couldn't Zowie see he was only meant to break her heart?


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15.**

_“Nobody loves you like the way I do_   
_Nobody wants you like the way I do_   
_Nobody needs you like the way I do_   
_Nobody aches just to hold you_   
_Like the way I do”_

**_Melisa Etheridge – Like The Way I Do_ **

In the span of a quick second, Zowie's bright and joyful day turned into her worst, darkest nightmare.

But how?

There seemed to be no answer for that, or for all the other questions that plagued her mind. How could something like this happen? Had she said something Orlando didn't like, done something that had crossed the line, pushing him away? Zowie's mind whirled with questions and implications, desperately looking for the one piece of information that would make everything right. The same one that escaped her.

Using a strength she didn't know she possessed, but that waned with every passing second, Zowie held her emotions under a tight, strong hold. The happy faces of her family pierced her heart every time she looked up at them, and if it hadn't been for Brooke's supporting hand over hers, Zowie felt she would have crumbled to pieces a long time ago.

She couldn't, though. She couldn't lose control. Her palms might be sweaty and clammy, and her heart could thump in her chest, but while it all made her feel like she could explode any minute, a tiny voice inside her begged her to stay calm.

Breaking down in front of her family wasn't an option. It was bad enough, hard enough to hide her breakdowns when they were caused by her family, but she couldn't let them see her suffering because of Orlando. If she couldn't tell her parents that their many arguments had more of an effect on her than they could even imagine, why would she tell them Orlando had broken her heart? Letting them in on her feelings would solve nothing. William and Noemie wouldn't stop arguing, nor would they make the pain of Orlando's betrayal disappear.

Another little voice spoke inside her, begging for Zowie to offer Orlando the chance to explain himself. However, as soon as the thought entered her mind, she couldn't help but question its sanity. Did she really need him to lie to her once more, to tell her that he and that girl were nothing but friends when everything in Orlando screamed the opposite? Closing her eyes, Zowie drew in a shaky breath. She loved Orlando, loved him with all her heart. Yet, in that precise moment, no thought of revenge was gratifying enough, for none of them could put Orlando through the pain he had caused her to feel.

Pulling on an, if not happy, at least normal face was the hardest thing Zowie had ever done. Controlling every gesture, every look, every single move, meant a strain her brain rebelled against. How could she fake happiness when all she wanted to do was curl up in bed, lock the door on the world outside, and let her misery flow free away from prying eyes?

Lunch was an absolute hell. Answering every comment, putting on a ghost of a happy smile for every single picture demanded an energy Zowie didn't possess, draining her of will and emotion and bringing her closer and closer to the edge. Hanging by a thread, she breathed deeply, trying to steady the wild beating of her heart. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold the façade up, or what would finally push her over the cliff, drowning her in her whirling emotions. How much longer would that torture last? How many other pictures would she have to smile for?

Those questions gave way to more. How could Orlando do something like that to her? He knew Zowie loved him with all her heart, how could he prefer someone else over her? Every question opened new wounds in her already lacerated heart. Did Orlando even feel anything for her? A voice inside her claimed he did, but she wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Tears burned in her eyes, and Zowie had to take a deep breath to hold them at bay, just one second before it was too late.

The moment her father determined it was time to leave, Zowie could have cried, her relief was so great. Every passing minute brought her closer and closer to that edge she dreaded so much, thinning the already weak control she held onto her emotions with. She knew it would take some time until they reached their home, so Zowie focused on keeping the storm inside her under tight reins, knowing she would soon be back in the safe realm of her room where she could let it unleash with as much fury as it pleased.

It wasn't easy, though, not with the tension mounting inside her. With images of Orlando and the unknown blonde swarming her head, Zowie said goodbye to Brooke as they dropped her off at her doorstep, barely paying attention to her promise of a phone call later that day.

The rest of the drive home wasn't long, but it seemed nightmarishly interminable to Zowie. It was so bad that she didn't wait until the car was fully parked before jumping out. Ignoring the surprised voices she left behind as she sprinted towards the front door wasn't hard; there was only one thing on Zowie's mind, and that was being safely locked inside her room before tears streamed down her face. She needed to be alone, needed the safety and privacy of her room so the storm that was beginning to rage inside her finally found a place to exist in peace until it died, even if that meant leaving Zowie full of nothing but pain and heartbreak.

Snatching the keys from her bag, Zowie quickly opened the door, not bothering to close it behind her as she rushed inside.

"Zowie? What's wrong? What-"

Noemie's voice, although full of concern, sounded dangerously close for Zowie's taste. It would only take one look, one question directed at her, to have Zowie breaking down, and that was something she couldn't afford.

In her hurry, Zowie skidded into her room, and although she slammed the door closed behind her, she got next to no pleasure from it. Locking the door with the same haste was a different matter altogether. So many tears had pooled in her eyes, blurring her vision, that Zowie missed the key twice before getting a grip on it strong enough to twist it, successfully blocking the world outside her safe shelter.

"Zowie!" The loud knock on her door made her jump, her blue eyes full of terror as they focused on the door. However, when she noticed that whatever attempts to break in were pointless, a small sense of relief filtered through her pain. "Zowie, open the door immediately!"

Grief surging through her like a searing fire, a desperate Zowie took the only way out she knew. She screamed.

"Leave me alone!"

The message, although loud and clear, had no effect on the person standing outside. The knocking persisted, but Zowie tried her best to ignore it. Throwing herself on the bed, she hid her head under the pillow, hoping it would deafen the strong sobs that racked her body. Alone at last, she could finally let go, even if the distinctive sound of her mum's voice still filtered through the flimsy barrier of her pillow.

Why didn't Noemie understand? Couldn't she see Zowie needed to be alone, that she had no interest in sharing her heartbreak with anyone? Knowing she would have to explain her behaviour later was hard enough already.

The thought brought fresh tears to Zowie's eyes. She could never tell her parents the truth, could never tell them what was really going on. If she even hinted that Orlando was involved, it would only take her dad about a second to make the decision he had surely been craving to make since Orlando had entered their lives. And, as stupid as it would seem to an outsider, and as heartbreaking as it was to Zowie, she couldn't let that happen. How could she when that meant never seeing Orlando again?

The thought of Orlando out of her life brought new sobs. No, there was absolutely no way Zowie could tell her parents of his involvement in this. She would have to lie, and although it didn't sit well with her considering what Orlando had put her through, she would still do it. But she would come up with a suitable lie later... as soon as the sobs that seemed to tear her body apart ceased, as soon as the numbing pain faded if only a little.

How long she spent crying, Zowie didn't know. It could be minutes or hours since she had locked herself in her room, away from the world. Neither did she realise when she gave in to the exhaustion that had taken over her after both the exhilaration of her triumph and the horrible pain that had brought her back to reality. The only thing Zowie was conscious of, as she slowly drifted into a blissful state of unconsciousness, was the same question that had plagued her mind all day long. Why... why?

***

"Of course she's not answering your calls! You honestly think Zowie's that stupid?"

Keeping his voice low took every ounce of his energy, but Jared managed to succeed, if only barely. If he did, if he took such great care on keeping that conversation private, it was only because he knew what it would bring down on Zowie if their dad ever found out. It was hard, though. In his mind, Jared knew he would agree a hundred percent with William should he ever banish Orlando from Zowie's life. In his heart, however, that determination faltered.

Heartbroken, Jared tried to take a mental step back and analyse the mess he was in. He wanted Zowie's wellbeing above everything else, but also wanted her to be happy. Both were connected, and sadly, the clueless man on the other end of the line held the key to make them work. Orlando sounded so lost and so confused that Jared wished he stood before him, if only to punch his nose flat. It usually took a lot to make Jared lose his composure, but Orlando had boldly tap danced along that line before crossing it with a huge, delighted smile.

"Stupid? Jared, what the hell are you talking about?" Orlando asked, his voice mirroring his confusion.

Closing his eyes, Jared felt rage burning within him, surging in a way that demanded an outlet. It wasn't anywhere near satisfying, but punching the neatly folded dishcloth while picturing Orlando's face on it did help release some of the tension. The loud thud was a reward, but Jared soon glanced around with worry shining in his blue eyes. No one had witnessed his outburst, though. Noemie was out for some late dinner shopping, and as for William and Jewell, they were in the living room, far too busy laughing over some TV soap to mind him.

"Do you really need me to spell it out for you, Orlando? Are you really that thick, or is it the way you always act?"

On the other end of the line, eyes lost over the expanse of Scorching Bay, Orlando stood motionless. Something in Jared's words escaped him making it impossible for him to understand what was so wrong. He had promised Zowie to call later and she had agreed. Sure, Orlando knew he had left her with a sad face, but he was sure the celebrations had been more than enough to lift her spirits.

"Look, Jared... I don't have time for this, really," Orlando said, trying to sound as neutral and inoffensive as possible. No need to make the boy even more upset, right? "Could you please put Zowie through? I promised to call her and-"

"She saw you, you idiot! Don't you get it? Zowie saw you, she saw you with that girl! Is it clear enough for you now, or do I have to draw you a picture?" Jared's voice was coated with every bit of the venom that coursed his veins. "You ruined her day, you bastard! Zowie's been locked up in her room since we arrived, hasn't come out ever since. She won't even talk to us, except to scream at us to leave her alone. Now, do you _still_ think you've done nothing to her?"

The poisonous words made Orlando freeze in his spot. Long seconds passed before he moved again, and when he did, it was only to run a trembling hand through his carefully cropped mohawk, his brain racing with the implications of Jared's words.

_"Zowie saw you, she saw you with that girl!"_

Oh, crap.

Before he even realised what he was doing, Orlando began to pace up and down his living room, his mind flooding with the crudest insults. All of them, however, solely directed at himself.

How could he be such an idiot? All afternoon, Orlando had congratulated himself for being so careful. He had had his date with Lauren, and in the meantime, had kept Zowie from suspecting a thing, giving her the chance to celebrate her triumph with her family.

But he hadn't been as careful as he thought. He had ruined Zowie's day, and the load that suddenly fell on his shoulders crushed whatever satisfaction he had felt earlier. Lauren and their date were pushed to the very back of his mind as realisation hit him. He was in deep trouble.

"How... how is she?"

Jared growled with fury.

" _How is she?_ " Jared mimicked his British accent, venom still coating his every word. "Have you been listening to me at all? Zowie's _locked up_ inside her room. Has been so for the past six hours. I have no idea how she is, because she simply won't answer us."

Alarm rose inside Orlando.

"What do you mean you can't get Zowie to answer? What's wrong with you people? You can't leave her alone!" Orlando's shock had turned into anger at their passiveness making Jared's blue eyes storm at his demands.

"We didn't leave her alone, Orlando... _you_ did!" Jared spat on the phone, turning his back on his family so they wouldn't listen. "And you'd do well to leave her alone _for good_ , you hear me? Consider yourself lucky my dad never finds out about this, because if he does, and he realises you have anything to do with this... I wouldn't like being you."

Before Orlando could add anything, Jared punched the call button on the phone, unable to stand the actor any longer. God, he wanted to punch him, hurt him, do something that would forever remind Orlando of the pain he had brought to Zowie.

Resting his weight on the counter behind him, Jared tiredly covered his face with his hands, desperately looking for a solution. The matter, however, seemed to have none. It didn't matter that he and Zowie argued on an almost daily basis; she was his sister, and there was some sort of unspoken principle that ordered them to. But no matter what, he still loved her dearly. How could Jared not try to do anything in his power to protect Zowie?

And still, he didn't have the heart to tell William what was really going on, to inflict Zowie even more pain by keeping her away from Orlando. That inability, though... how much more grief would it bring? Torn inside, Jared felt tears prickling in his eyes; tears that embarrassed him, but that also filled him with determination. He would do everything within his power to protect Zowie. If Orlando hurt her one more time, then Jared would be the first to tell William what was going on. It was awful, yes, but he would have to deal with it... and with Zowie's anger, should she ever find out. The thought wasn't pleasant, but he would much rather face her fury than leave the door open to a greater, more permanent damage.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16.**

_"You may not like it,_

_you may not be scared._

_But hell has no fury like a_

_young girl's ego"_

**_Duran Duran - "Meet El Presidente"_ **

It had been a week from hell, but as William's car was waved into the set, Zowie realised she had been waiting for that moment to come all along.

Ignoring Orlando had been anything but easy. Phone calls, text messages... each of them had managed to bring tears to her eyes and, for a few days, Zowie's heart had known no other feelings but  sorrow and despair. Yet, slowly, and almost without her noticing, those initial emotions had given way to anger and frustration and, ultimately, to a searing need for revenge.

That was the moment when Zowie had begun plotting her scheme.

She had carefully planned every single one of her actions, choreographed her every move, and scripted each word she would allow herself to pronounce. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would be left to chance. And as William parked his car and Zowie jumped out, the promise she had made to herself invigorated her even further.

She wouldn't give in. No matter what Orlando did or said, Zowie would remain strong and unwavering, even if she knew better than anyone the effect he had on her. She knew one glance in his direction could very well be all that he needed to melt her resistance away, but could also be a reminder of the pain he had put her through. Zowie would make sure to keep that in mind, for Orlando needed to be taught a lesson, and she was determined to be the one teaching it to him.

In the meantime, however, everything was going according to plan. Taking a minute to help William get their equipment from the car's trunk, she then followed him into the trailer area, her eyes scanning the grounds before her. Orlando was nowhere in sight, but there was nothing wrong with that; having William around when she decided to push play on her plan was simply out of the question.

When her dad, fortunately oblivious to her machinations, pointed at Viggo and Sean in the distance, Zowie forced herself to remain calm. Orlando's absence took her by surprise, though. Since he and Viggo had become friends, they usually spent a lot of time together on set. That day, however, seemed to be the exception. There was a small crowd gathered, surely hoping to see how Sean, in full Boromir costume, beat Viggo yet again at a game of chess, but Orlando wasn't involved.

Not really paying much attention to the actor's activities, William greeted them profusely. Yet, when they returned the gesture with much less warmth, William's face became the picture of confusion. It faded quickly, though, and with a roll of his eyes, he turned to Zowie.

"You'll stay here, I suppose," William stated matter-of-factly. "I've got to go and find Peter. Can I trust you to behave?"

William's fervent plea got Zowie rolling her eyes. She could have easily argued that request, but for once she remained silent, for she didn't want him to linger. Nodding in agreement, Zowie then turned her attention to the action before her, just in time to hear Viggo muttering a curse under his breath. His last move had been much too bold, and now his king was in mortal danger.

"Check mate, once again," Sean's voice was so full of satisfaction that Viggo shot him a dirty look that made Sean laugh before turning to Zowie. "Want to give it a try?"

Zowie frowned at his offer.

"What, and have you annihilating my king in three moves like you did last time? I have more dignity than that, thank you very much!"

Sean snickered at her words, and Zowie grinned. She had tried, that much had to be said. But Sean was too good while she was far too impatient for something like chess. Still smiling, she turned to Viggo, wanting to know whether there was something about the battle scene they were shooting that day that he wanted to go over once more, when a familiar voice interrupted her before she even got to part her lips.

"Hi, Zowie."

Her reaction upset her greatly. _"Focus, focus!"_ her mind ordered her as soon as the surprise of hearing _his_ voice made her knees buckle. She couldn't let him win, couldn't let Orlando see how much he affected her!

Easier said than done, though. He was standing so close to her, Zowie could almost feel his warmth. That simple fact, however, was what angered her even further. Any other day, Orlando would have come to her with a hug and a kiss. That separation he kept between them, albeit small, cemented her determination. So he didn't want to touch her? Fine, then! She knew exactly what to do next. Goodbye, silly Zowie! Welcome cool, mature young woman who would make Orlando grovel at her feet!

The time had come, the time to put into practice what she had staged so Orlando would, finally, understand the consequences of his actions. And Zowie discovered a rather perverse delight blooming inside her at the thought.

The smile she directed at Sean and Viggo couldn't possibly be any warmer. It didn't extend to Orlando, however, for she took great care on not allowing him into her range of view, not even accidentally.

"I'll leave you guys to your job, then," she said. "I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

Still smiling her brightest smile, Zowie swung her backpack over her shoulder and, with a great deal of dignity and pride, as well as some of the drama every teenage girl held inside, she was gone before any of the men could even mutter a simple goodbye.

Shocked, surprise glowed in their eyes as the three of them stared at Zowie's back. Sean, however, was the first to recover. Lips stretching into a wide, amused grin, he stared up at Orlando. So many different emotions were written on the young actor's face that it was almost impossible to detect them all. Surprise was there, definitely. So was disbelief, and anger was making its slow appearance.

Familiar with teenage girls' antics, Sean couldn't repress the laughter that bubbled inside him. Orlando, Zowie's _beloved_ Orlando, getting the silent treatment? Now that was a first! He had no idea what had happened, but one thing was for sure: whatever Orlando had done, it had to be really, really bad for Zowie not to even look at him.

The instant his eyes met Viggo's, Sean knew by the mischievous half smile on the other man's face that he backed his theory up a hundred percent. And while he knew he should have remained silent, Sean couldn't ignore the tiny little devil that prodded him anymore.

"Messed up with the little lass, ain't you, Bloom?"

The only gesture of acknowledgement he got from Orlando was the dirty look he shot in his direction. It was meant to intimidate him, but in the end, all that Orlando achieved was making Sean laugh at the top of his lungs. The sound echoing in the trailers' area became a bitter reminder of how much Orlando had screwed things up with Zowie.

Not that he needed any, though. All week long he had been trying his hardest to contact her. Nonetheless, Orlando had never made it through; either her cell phone was dead, or Jared picked the house phone, killing whatever hopes Orlando had of talking to her. He had felt anger at first, annoyed that Zowie refused to even listen to him. Yet, worry quickly overrode those feelings when he remembered her first reaction a week ago. Sure, Zowie had every right to be mad at him, but that didn't mean Orlando didn't intend to make things better with her anyway.

Knowing how hard it would be to convince Zowie he hadn't meant to hurt her made Orlando feel like he was walking on thin ice. So much would be at stake in the conversation he planned to have with her! Making sure Zowie understood he meant to be just friends with her would be more than difficult. Problem was, she was intent on putting him through hell before even listening to him. If she ever did, of course. What Zowie didn't know, however, was that Orlando could be just as stubborn.

The sound of soft, repressed laughter and snickering reached Orlando's ears, dragging him back to reality. Looking around, he met Viggo's and Sean's curious gazes, but what he saw in them made him frown, not appreciating their meddling one bit. They had witnessed his downfall with Zowie, and they gave him such knowing and amused looks, Orlando had the feeling they knew more about this whole matter than he did himself. Angered and frustrated just by their mere presence, Orlando scowled at them, the effect he pursued hopelessly lost behind his flawless, Elvish looks.

"What?"

The menacing hint in his voice achieved nothing except making both men laugh unabashedly at him. Annoyed, and with a wounded ego, Orlando gritted his teeth and walked away, hoping to muster half as much dignity as Zowie had when making her own regal departure. There was a big chance Orlando came across as silly, but he had the right to try, right?

***

He should have imagined it.

When long hours passed and Orlando discovered Zowie was nowhere to be found, the thought of everyone on set teaming up against him crossed his mind. Sure, it was indeed a bit of an exaggeration to think Zowie had such power, but as he wandered aimlessly around the set, he couldn't help but think that, not only had Zowie carefully planned her every move, it also seemed she had done the same with everyone else's.

The day's busy schedule didn't help one bit, either. All day long Orlando had been dutifully kept on the opposite end of the set as if Peter himself participated in Zowie's conspiracy. He had briefly spotted her at one point, helping Viggo rehearse a scene, but as soon as Orlando had set foot on her direction, William had materialised out of nowhere, standing by her side. At first, and unsure as to how much William knew, Orlando had done his best to stay away from the instructor. However, the moment William came to him like he would any other day, Orlando realised with great relief that Zowie's dad was blissfully unaware of what was going on.

By the time his lunch break came, Orlando didn't need anyone to point out to him that this was as good a chance as any to try and find Zowie. With that thought in mind, he made a quick stop at his trailer where he removed his contacts and retrieved a small package from his backpack, one he concealed under the big jacket he wore to guard against the cold wind.

Apparently, some divine force was on his side, for it only took Orlando one or two questions to find out that Zowie had last been seen entering the Hobbits' trailer. The information didn't surprise him much. Having developed a good friendship with Elijah, her usual partner in crime, he was the first person Zowie went to when Orlando was busy or not around.

In fact, Elijah and Zowie were so close now that he had been the one to share with Orlando what little information he had on Zowie during that week. Lij had been an inestimable help, and while he had clearly told Orlando what he thought of his actions, Elijah had also made sure to help him get in touch with Zowie. He hadn't succeeded, but Orlando appreciated his gesture nonetheless.

With a determined glow in his eyes, Orlando headed for his desired destination. However, as he neared the trailer, his steps faltered a little and he nervously bit his lip. What if Zowie wasn't there? Or even worse, what if she was there, but surrounded by the movie's entire Hobbit population? Talking in front of them was absolutely out of the question. It was enough that Sean and Viggo had found out, but to have to do what he planned to do in front of four very curious actors was unacceptable.

Yet, to further reinforce the idea that some divine help was indeed involved, Orlando spotted Elijah and the other Hobbits leaving the trailer as he approached the area. Afraid Zowie might not be there as he had been told, Orlando stopped in his tracks, only moving again when, through the open door, he spotted her sitting on Lij's favourite chair, legs femininely crossed as one foot tapped the air impatiently.

"Now or never," Orlando mumbled to himself and, taking a deep breath, he closed the distance that separated them with a light jog.

He gave her no chance. Unceremoniously jumping into the trailer, Orlando had closed and locked the door behind him long before Zowie could even think of something to say.

The shock didn't last long, though.

"What the...?"

Now _that_ was something Zowie hadn't thought of! What on earth was Orlando doing in the trailer? And locking the door up, to be precise? He was supposed to be on the other end of the set, busy as he had been all day long. At least until she determined the time was right. Him being there meant her plan was about to go down the drain, and that was something Zowie couldn't stand the thought of.

"We need to talk."

It was as simple as that. His tone, so serious and definitive, was enough to keep Zowie fixed to her seat for a couple of seconds. Where had that come from? She had never heard such tone before in Orlando's voice. To be honest, she had probably never heard it from anyone else other than her mum, which instantly made Zowie relate it to those moments when she inevitably realised she wasn't getting what she wanted.

Yet, Zowie was still Zowie, and she didn't deal very well with certain forms of discipline. So, to show Orlando that she wasn't the least affected, she deliberately lifted her chin, stood up, and walked towards the door as if she had never heard his voice. Or worse, that she didn't even acknowledge his presence.

She never made it there, though. Before she reached her destination, a tall, blond and rather intimidating elf stood on her way, successfully blocking her escape. Shocked, Zowie looked up, doing something she had vowed to herself not to do until Orlando came grovelling to her: she looked at him in the eye, noticing at once that he had removed his contacts before coming to her. It was silly to notice something like that when her entire plan shattered noisily to pieces around her, but Zowie couldn't help it since, like every other time she stared into Orlando's eyes, she lost herself in them.

Remaining calm was hard, but when Zowie realised she needed to regain control of the situation before it slipped from her grasp, she insisted, trying to walk around Orlando's tall body. Yet, before she could even reach the door, a strong, yet gentle arm found an easy path around her waist, pulling her back in her steps until she was, once again, sitting in Elijah's favourite chair.

Zowie didn't struggle, but if looks could kill, Orlando would have dropped dead that same instant. Yet, having found enough presence of mind to keep her there and make her listen to him, it would take much more than a simple nasty look to defeat him.

"You will sit down, and you _will_ listen to me, once and for all. You hear me, Zowie?"

Where that had come from, he didn't know, but knowing Zowie as he did now, Orlando had the feeling she had never listened to any order she had been given in her life. Also, that it was time for her to sit down, shut up, and stop avoiding him. And erase that self sufficient expression from her face, too.

"I know I did something really wrong," he said looking down at her, even if Zowie refused to meet his gaze. "I know I screwed up, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined your special day, and above all, that you ended up locked up in your room crying until your mum almost forced you out."

At those words, Zowie finally looked up at him.

"How do you...?" her voice, half shocked, half angered, choked in her throat, not letting her finish the sentence.

Crossing his arms, Orlando's eyes fixed on hers. Now that he had her attention, that she had finally deigned to acknowledge him, they were going to play according to _his_ rules.

"Oh, no. There's no way I'm telling you, not until you promise me you won't take it out on that person," Orlando stated.

In that moment, and in spite of how much she loved him, Zowie despised Orlando with every nerve in her being. He had the upper hand and that was something she couldn't accept, not after convincing herself it would be _her_ who ruled this moment, not the other way around.

"Well?" Orlando insisted.

Imitating his posture, Zowie crossed her arms, trying her best to come across as uninterested. Looking up at him from her chair, she nodded. She would have much rather pretend she had no concern in what Orlando had to say, but considering there was an obvious leak of information, Zowie couldn't let this chance pass.

"It was Jared."

The revelation hit Zowie like a punch in the stomach. Jared? But... how? And why?

"I called that Sunday as promised," Orlando explained, reading the confusion on her face. "He told me everything... even threatened to punch me on the face next time he saw me. He had every right to do so, and I'm sure he'll still do it if given the chance," he said with a defeated sigh. Orlando rested his hands on the armrests of the chair, his face levelling with hers. "I'd really hate to find out you gave Jared hell just for doing what any brother would do. It's my fault, no one else's, and I'm afraid I'll never be able to apologise enough."

There was a tightening in Zowie's jaw, one that only served to accentuate its natural stubborn air. She hadn't taken the news well, and Orlando sighed. He hadn't expected her to do so; in fact, that was the very reason why he had insisted on getting a promise from her, one he hadn't got anyway. Couldn't Zowie see Jared loved her and had done all that just to protect her?

In the meantime, Zowie worked hard on keeping the even expression on her face, hoping to give away nothing of the turmoil inside her. It didn't sit well with her knowing that Jared had so freely given away such precious information, but she couldn't ignore her brother's reasons. The thought that he had threatened to punch Orlando did light a spark inside her; while Zowie would never let that happen, she couldn't say the thought of doing it herself wasn't pleasant.

"I'm sorry, Zow," Orlando's voice brought her back from her reverie. His eyes were pleading to her, and Zowie's heart skipped a beat at the desolate glow in them. "I know it's not enough after what I put you through, but I'd hate it if this came between us. This past week without you around, without even hearing from you... it was hell. I know I deserve it, but I don't think I can handle any more of it. You'll be leaving soon, and I'd never forgive myself if you're still mad at me when you do."

With great horror, Zowie realised that, with every word coming out of his mouth, Orlando managed to thaw layer after layer of the ice she had worked so hard to put up around her heart. No, no, no! It couldn't be happening! A simple _'I'm sorry'_ , no matter how many times he repeated it, couldn't possibly make her pain and tears disappear.

But there was something in his eyes, in the desolation in his face, that told Zowie Orlando was being sincere. He regretted what he had done, and the fact that he had admitted how much of a nightmare it was not hearing from her made it impossible for her to ignore him.

Nonetheless, Zowie tried her hardest to hold on to the last bits of anger that lingered inside her, at least, before they vanished in thin air. What she hadn't counted on, however, was the next words Orlando would say.

"Please, Zowie... you're far too important to me to lose you."

That was all Orlando needed to make her determination crumble at her feet. Unsure, and captive to an emotional roller coaster she had no idea how to control or stop, Zowie looked up at him, blue eyes shining with uncertainty.

"Do you mean it, Orlando?" Her voice was so soft, Zowie wasn't entirely sure he had even heard her. She had to ask, nonetheless. She had gone to him that day hoping for a complete and total surrender, but she was getting an insight into how much she meant to him instead. The bargain was enough to unbalance all her beliefs. "Do you really mean it?"

Orlando sighed. What else did Zowie want, for him to grovel at her feet?

"Do you honestly need to ask? Do you really think I'd be here if I didn't give a damn about you?" Her face showed a whirl of emotions, and Orlando understood it was his last chance. He didn't think his last card could sway Zowie's opinions much, but he was more than willing to try. Slipping a hand inside his jacket, he then handed Zowie the package he had been hiding until the time was right. "For you. It's not much, but I hope you like it."

Zowie's eyes widened. There was no possible way she could mistake the bright red gift paper with anything else, so all she could do was bite her lip so she wouldn't gape in surprise. The package was tempting, and while a part of Zowie wanted to cling to the expectations she had been building up until that day, another one was crying with relief at Orlando's words. She was important to him! If anything, that was what she had been wanting to hear all along.

Shyly, almost reluctantly, Zowie took the package. There was nothing she wanted more than to rip the gift paper apart with no ceremonies whatsoever, but she did her best to restrain herself, savouring each second that brought her closer and closer to a reconciliation with Orlando. That tiny little part inside her that opposed to forgiving Orlando cried to be heard, but the moment Zowie revealed the contents of the package, she knew she was lost. Inside, the most adorable light brown stuffed bear stared back at her, his shiny black eyes making her lose the last bits of control she had.

Orlando never saw it coming. One moment he anxiously stared as Zowie reluctantly opened his gift, and the next, she had jumped him, her arms tightly locked around his neck.

"I love it! Oh, Orlando... it's so cute!" Never letting go of him, Zowie stared up at him with a bright, beautiful smile. "Thank you so much!"

Her enthusiasm, more contagious than Orlando had ever imagined, had its effect on him. Relief washed over him, and as it did, his arms, out of their own accord, loosely fitted around her waist, holding her close.

"Friends, then?"

Zowie's smile grew wider. Did he even need to ask?

"Friends."

With a squeal, Zowie once again threw her arms around his neck, planting a loud kiss on his cheek before giving him a beaming smile. Her mind, however, simply couldn't stop working, planning her next step. Friends? Sure, Zowie could give him that.

But that was only the beginning.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17.**

It felt as if nothing had ever happened, as if Orlando had never messed things up with her. Two weeks to the day of their reconciliation, life had never seemed brighter to Zowie. Even the future promised to be a smooth road she was looking forward to travel.

How could she not? Zowie had already sat for most of her finals, and while it would still take some time until she got the actual grades, she knew she had done well in them nonetheless. If anything, that had managed to silence whatever complaints her mum still had regarding Zowie's participation in the movies. She had aced her finals, and also done a good job of helping her dad, proving to Noemie that she could indeed handle the hard work. Even her interview at Massey University had gone well, after keeping her on edge for a while. Now, all that Zowie needed to make her life the picture of perfection she was dreaming of was to get her acceptance letter on the mail, finish sitting for her finals and then, she would be free. Free to spend what promised to be the most amazing summer of her life doing what she looked forward to the most: devote every single minute to the movies without worrying about grades, exams, or assignments.

There had been one or two things to cast a shadow over her bright happiness, though. Approaching Jared on the topic of his intentional leak of information hadn't been easy. Zowie understood he had only thought of her wellbeing, and while she made sure her brother saw she appreciated the gesture greatly, she also had the task of making him understand that she could handle things on her own. Especially when her love life was involved. She could tell Jared wasn't too pleased with the outcome, but he had accepted it nonetheless, even if he had stated he was only doing it because of her. He couldn't care less about Orlando, and if anything else happened, Jared himself would be the first to tell William about it. That said, Zowie realised Orlando wasn't exactly Jared's favourite person at the moment, but she hoped it would come to pass.

The problem was, Orlando wasn't one of Brooke's favourite people either.

It hadn't been a serious argument. In fact, it hadn't been an argument at all; at least, Zowie refused to label it that way. However, the moment she told her friend how quickly she had forgiven Orlando, Brooke had shown a side of her that rarely saw the light of day. Brooke was essentially a very calm, relaxed person who wouldn't hurt a fly, but that day... that day she had lost it. In very clear terms, she had told Zowie what she thought of Orlando, of his actions and, above all, what she thought of Zowie's quick forgiveness. Had she forgotten all that he had put her through, all the tears she had cried? Obviously, she had.

Puzzled, Zowie hadn't known what to say. Never before had she seen -or heard- Brooke that way. After a while, it was clear to her that Brooke's feelings for Orlando were very similar to Jared's, and the knowledge would have broken her heart had it not been so full of joy and love for Orlando. Couldn't they see she loved him? Couldn't they understand, like Zowie herself did, that Orlando only needed time to understand what he felt for her? He had said it himself: she was important to him, and he didn't want to lose her. It tore Zowie inside to understand that two of the most important people in her life couldn't understand her feelings, couldn't see Orlando the way she did, but if anything, that filled her with a new resolution.

She would show them how right she had been all along. Once she and Orlando were together, Zowie would show Jared and Brooke that there was no use dwelling on past mistakes. Orlando would make everything right, that much she knew. Ever since, however, the topic of Orlando, while not banned altogether, had been scarcely mentioned until the ill moods towards him had settled some.

But that wasn't it. There was something else, something that made Zowie twist and turn in her bed at night with an uneasiness that belied her conviction. She had to talk to her parents before it was too late, but... how? Zowie shook her head at the thought. It wasn't like she was pregnant or something like that! Yet, considering the news she wanted to break to her parents, she might as well be. It would probably be less of a shock to them.

Zowie wanted to take a gap year. Which, in itself, wasn't essentially bad. However, if her parents' enthusiasm regarding her going to University was taken into consideration, well... it could prove to be a bit of a problem.

Zowie didn't need to picture the possible scenarios to know that, whichever her parents choose, it would most likely involve a lot of drama. It wasn't like the notion of a gap year was something absolutely unfamiliar to them; in fact, William himself had taken one to backpack through Europe before coming back to New Zealand to start an adult life. The reason behind her decision, however, would surely cause a stir. Her mum, especially, would have a thing or two to say about it.

Zowie didn't want to travel around Europe or go on a humanitarian mission somewhere; she wasn't so ambitious. There was only one thing she wanted to do, and that was spend that year working on _'Rings'_.

Sitting on the College's grounds and enjoying the warm November sun, it took very little effort from Zowie to picture her mum's possible reaction. She knew very well what would happen.

Much to Zowie's dismay, Noemie had tendency for drama. And, coincidentally, Zowie herself had discovered, long ago, that she absolutely hated that side of her mum. All of that combined made the prospect of sharing the news with her family a complete nightmare.

William, however, was a completely different story altogether. Zowie knew he would be, above all, disappointed, and that bothered her to no end. He was so excited about the idea of his eldest daughter going to University that she couldn't bear the thought of bringing him down like that. Was there a right way to share the news with him, to make William see she wasn't letting him down, but that she wanted to spend that time with him instead?

There was something else, though, something Zowie was sure would surface sooner rather than later: the so called "Orlando factor".

While he was a big reason behind her decision, Zowie didn't want her parents to think she was solely doing it because of him. It was a combination of factors, to be precise, but Zowie wasn't sure her parents would understand it as easily as she did. While Orlando was certainly vital to the choice she had made, the opportunity to work on something that was bigger and better than anything she had ever imagined had a lure she could barely resist. Would she be able to walk away knowing she was missing out on a chance that would never come back? Shooting was expected to finish by the end of the following year, and time ticked past much too quickly for Zowie's liking. Would she be able to live the rest of her life knowing she had let the chance of a lifetime pass her by?

No, she wasn't. Even if her job in the movies was the smallest and most inconsequential one, she wanted to do it nonetheless, and for as long as possible. When put into perspective, a gap year seemed like the wisest thing to do.

And yet... how to break the news to her parents? Her eyes fell on the picture in her hand as if it held the magical solution she needed. In it, a glowing Zowie and a very handsome Orlando, in his Legolas' costume, smiled for Viggo's camera, arms around each other in a tight hug. Zowie closed her eyes and sighed heavily. She couldn't let all that slip between her fingers!

But that determination didn't answer her questions. How to turn a potentially traumatic situation into something completely different? Was there a way she could make it happen without having it blowing up in her face and keeping her away from the production altogether? The one excuse, the one Noemie always wielded when similar discussions arose, was her schooling, and that was almost over. It had held her back, stopping Zowie from following her dad to the diverse sets all over the country, but not anymore.

In the meantime, Zowie had exhausted herself, both mentally and physically, trying not to just find a way to share her decision with her family, but also, to come up with a solution if everything failed. If she still wanted to do this, Zowie knew she would have to fend for herself money wise, for she knew, without asking, that Noemie would stop the money flow in her direction as soon as possible, hoping that would make her see reason. That one thought made Zowie all the more determined. She knew William would most likely overstep whatever boundaries Noemie set, but Zowie still wanted to do it on her own, to prove to her parents that she could live an adult's life.

Asking for a paycheck was out of the question, for Zowie herself was more than willing to admit that she spent more time having fun on set than she did doing any serious work. She could still find a way around it, though. She could always travel with the crew, make use of the movies' amazing catering services when hungry... but no matter how nice the thought was, she knew she couldn't crash with Orlando every single time. Elijah probably wouldn't mind having her around, but Zowie was much too proud to live off anyone's sympathy. If she was going to do it, she would do it well. And on her own.

It was a lot easier said than done, though, and Zowie was painfully aware of that. In the meantime, she concentrated on the most urgent of matters, knowing that once she passed that hurdle, the rest would be a much easier. Breaking the news to her parents would be one of those moment Zowie was sure she would never forget. If she was lucky, she would remember it with a smile, one her parents would mirror. Hopefully.

"Oh my... did somebody die?"

Looking up, Zowie shielded her eyes from the bright midday sun with her hand. Giving Brooke a tiny smile, she then invitingly patted a spot on the grass beside her.

"Yes," Zowie answered with a heavy sigh. "Me."

Puzzled, Brooke gave her a concerned look before realisation dawned on her.

"You told your parents."

It wasn't a question; it was a statement. Fully aware of Zowie's plan from its very inception, Brooke had walked every step of the way with her. And while she had made it very clear that she didn't fully agree with her, she would still support her a hundred percent.

"Not yet. I wonder if I'll ever have the courage, though, or if I'll end up breaking the news to them the day before I should leave for Palmerston North."

Grinning sympathetically, Brooke threw an arm around Zowie's shoulders, pulling her close.

"If there's anyone out there who can pull this off, Zowie, that's you," Brooke's fervent murmur was full of support. "I trust you."

The confidence in Brooke's voice made Zowie smile, even if she realised she still didn't have the answer she was looking for.

"I just don't know how, B. I..." Zowie's eyes drifted into the distance as she struggled to bring her innermost fears and thoughts to words. "I can handle my dad, I know that. He's going to be disappointed, and I hate that, but it's not like I'm dropping off Uni for good! I haven't even started yet! My mum, however..."

Zowie's voice trailed off, and Brooke nodded thoughtfully, knowing exactly what her friend meant. William would be an easy target for Zowie; there had yet to be a time when she didn't manage to wrap him around her little finger. That was the reason why Zowie always went to him when needing or wanting something, knowing for a fact that he would never say no to her.

But Noemie was different. William loved his children dearly, but had a severe inability to set clear boundaries with them. Consequently, Noemie had the ugly task of doing the job herself, which would, invariably, put Zowie against her. Of course she didn't know how to break the news to her! As much as Zowie hated her mum's decrees, she also knew there was no fighting her authority.

"I know I've already asked this, but... are you really, really sure about this, Zow?"

Brooke's question elicited a surprised look on Zowie's face, one that vanished in a heartbeat. When she answered, there was no hint of hesitation in her voice, nor in her blue eyes.

"I'm a hundred percent sure, B. No doubts at all," she answered, her face and voice a picture of determination. "I just wish they could see it the way I do and don't get a wrong impression of this whole thing. Especially my dad, I'd hate to disappoint him."

Brooke pursed her lips. Of course Zowie didn't want her parents to get a wrong impression! Even if Zowie didn't actually say it, Brooke knew all the reasons behind her friend's decision. Of course, there were serious, rational reasons that were more plausible that Brooke herself approved. She could understand Zowie's need to participate in the movies; in fact, and considering her own career choice, Brooke knew she would do the same if given the chance. However, that reason wasn't anywhere near as powerful as the Orlando factor.

The thought made Brooke's temper boil. Whatever good vibrations she had got from Orlando back in the beginning, they had all gone down the drain the moment he had broken Zowie's heart. No plea for forgiveness, no cute bear as a token of honesty would be enough to make Brooke forget what Orlando had done.

She had tried to reason with Zowie, but she should have known it would be a waste of time. All her friend could think of was Orlando, feeding her obsession more and more with every passing day. Every time Brooke tried to make Zowie see reason, she met a dead end street that did nothing but risk their friendship. Never had she imagined a man would come between them, so in order to preserve their relationship, Brooke had decided to keep her thoughts to herself. She only hoped that her silence wouldn't bring Zowie any more heartbreak.

"You want me to be there with you? You know, as some sort of psychological support?"

Zowie grinned at Brooke's offer.

"Thank you, but no. I'm positive this will get ugly, and I don't want you in the middle of a battle," Zowie said with an amused smile. Then, patting Brooke's hand, she turned to her friend with a pleading look. "Can I ask you a favour, though?"

Brooke nodded emphatically.

"Anything. Just ask."

Very serious, as if about to face a matter of life or death, Zowie spoke.

"If I die, can you please make sure Jared doesn't get anywhere near my diary? I mean, I have hardly written anything in it in ages, but if Jay got his hands on it... it'd be far too embarrassing, even if I'm dead."

It took Brooke a couple of seconds to realise Zowie didn't mean a word she had said. Well, maybe she _did_ mean her plea about her diary, but the rest? Brooke huffed angrily and gave Zowie a dirty look.

"Very funny, Zowie."

Zowie's grin widened, and her eyes sparkled mischievously before adopting a defensive stance.

"Hey, it's a possibility!" Zowie defended herself, raising her hands. "If you don't hear from me again, look for the flashiest grave in the graveyard."

"Zowie, for Goodness' sake!" Brooke scolded her, making her laugh at the top of her lungs.

After that, both girls remained in a companionable silence, all the while munching on some homemade cookies Brooke had produced from her bag. Yet, right after the bell rang and they stood up, ready to go back to class, Zowie spoke again.

"B?"

"Yes?"

"You can have my collection of magazines, my CDs and my Silverchair posters if I die, okay?"

Brooke blatantly ignored her, but not before giving her a killer look that would have made someone weaker die on the spot.

Smiling, Zowie followed her friend inside. She knew she needed to stock up on laughter and happiness, for she was sure there wouldn't be a lot of them in the Hart household, not after she informed her parents of her plans. Perhaps, it wasn't such a bad idea to ask Brooke to hide her diary from prying eyes... after all, who knew how her parents would react to the news?


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18.**

"Mum, dad... can we talk?"

As soon as her parents turned to her with looks that went from curious to wary, Zowie's heart began thumping in her chest. She had been building courage, preparing for that moment all day long, and now she had the feeling she would start hyperventilating before she could say another word.

Which would be very inconvenient, to say the least. If she wanted to do it, if she wanted as little drama as possible involved, Zowie would need to sound convinced, responsible and, above all, confident that she was making the most reasonable decision. Something she doubted she could do well if she had to gasp for breath.

"Is something wrong?" William asked, drying his hands with a dishcloth. Shaking her head, Zowie rushed to ease his concerns.

"No, no! I'm fine, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you guys about something."

The way Noemie looked at her as she put the last glass in the dishwasher told Zowie she was trying to see past all her barriers, needing to find out what was truly wrong with her. There was a glow in her gray eyes, one that spoke of the quick machinations in Noemie's mind. Noticing it, Zowie didn't need to ask to know that her mum was contemplating a wide range of possibilities, one that went from her being expelled from St. Mary's to a teenage pregnancy.

Had she not been so nervous, Zowie would have laughed at the thought. Instead, it only served to anger her. Why did Noemie always have to expect the worst from her? Why couldn't she be a little bit more like William whose cautious and expectant expression was nothing like her suspicious one?

The sudden spark of anger in Zowie's bright blue eyes didn't go unnoticed by Noemie who pointed to the nearby chairs meaningfully. Silently, the three of them sat down.

"Well, Zowie," her father said, eyeing her expectantly. "What is it that you want to talk about?"

William's tone was carefully void of all accusations, and there was a soothing hint to it that made Zowie relax, if only a little.

"Is there something wrong at school? You haven't had problems with Ms. Carroll again, have you?"

The smile Zowie was about to direct at her dad froze on her lips. There was a very thin line between worrying and overreacting, and Noemie had bluntly crossed it with her questions. With a sigh, Zowie willed herself to keep her temper under control.

"No, mum," she answered evenly. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with school, and I hope to graduate without giving Ms. Carroll a chance to complain about me. Happy now?"

She hadn't meant for her last few words to sound so stern, and while Zowie knew it could all still blow up in her face when Noemie's shoulders stiffened visibly, she felt some sort of rebellious satisfaction nonetheless.

"So," William intervened, successfully ending the budding argument. "What is it, then?"

Taking a deep breath, Zowie straightened her back.

"First of all, and before you two freak out, there's nothing wrong or scary going on. I don't spend my time with the wrong kind of people. Unless that's what you think of Brooke, of course," she said. Then, staring at her mum in a rather meaningful way, Zowie added. "I haven't been expelled from school and I'm definitely, definitely, _not_ pregnant."

Yes, Noemie knew Zowie's words were solely directed at her, but still, her gaze never left her daughter's. Not that Zowie expected any different, though; letting her mum know she was aware of her train of thought was enough.

Sensing the atmosphere was getting thicker by the minute, William once again tried to lighten things up a bit.

"Well, that's great. I'm very relieved now, thank you very much," the smile that had accompanied his words didn't linger, though. "Now, is it too much to ask to _finally_ hear what is it that you want to tell us?"

Zowie bit her lip, holding her hands together so they wouldn't give her away with their trembling.

That was it. That was the moment that would seal her future happiness, and it all rested on the correct choice of words. Over and over had she analysed several options, and now that the time had come, none of them seemed fitting for what she wanted. She would have to play it by ear, then, and pray for it not to go awfully wrong.

"I want... no, scratch that," Zowie said. Having found the correct way to express her wishes, she made sure her eyes, as well as her voice, were firm and unwavering. "I've decided I want to take a gap year."

The utter silence that welcomed her words wasn't entirely unexpected; in fact, it was one of the many reactions Zowie had pictured beforehand. Nonetheless, her gaze still shifted from one parent to the other, carefully studying their features as she steadied herself for what was to come.

William was the first to break the ice. Letting out a long, loud breath, he leaned back on his chair as he put on an equanimous look.

"You know, with all the suspense, I have to admit I almost expected something worse," he said, his words earning him both a smile from Zowie, as well as a shocked, disbelieving gasp from Noemie.

"Something worse? William, can't you, for once, just try and-" Noemie stopped herself before the tirade even started. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and that simple gesture managed to erase the smile William's words had brought to Zowie's face. Before she could say anything, Noemie turned to Zowie, a frown darkening her features. "A gap year. Is there a chance your father and I could know what prompted this decision?"

Zowie shifted in her seat, more conscious than ever before that this moment could very well offer her a chance to be a part of something extraordinary or doom her to stay away from it for good. For a fleeting instant, Zowie wondered when the highly expected adventure of attending University had turned into a nightmare, into something absolutely different from the dream she and Brooke had so carefully nursed over the past two years. There was no answer to that. Or perhaps, she simply refused to acknowledge it.

Looking straight into her mum's eyes, Zowie finally answered.

"I want to work in _Rings_."

Noemie's usually bright gray eyes turned as dark as the most menacing storm Zowie had ever witnessed. The moment she saw a lightning of anger crossing her mother's gaze, she knew the storm had arrived. And in full force.

"I knew it. I knew it! Of course you want to spend time there instead of attending University!" Noemie stood up, pushing her chair back with a screech. Walking to the counter behind her, she stood there, giving both Zowie and William accusing looks. Her gaze, however, remained on him with an intensity that scared Zowie. "I knew this would happen the moment _you_ offered for her to work with you." Then, turning to Zowie, she added, "We had an agreement, Zowie. You promised not to compromise your schooling because of these movies."

While Zowie knew it would be wiser to allow her mum some time to let everything out, she couldn't help but try and voice some reason into the argument before it got out of hand.

"School's almost over, mum."

Zowie's reasoning was simple. If school was over, then there was nothing to jeopardise, right?

Sadly, Noemie didn't quite see things the same way. When her eyes blazed with anger, Zowie realised that what she had considered fury before had been nothing but a minor upset.

"Do you honestly think I'm stupid, Zowie?"

Zowie blinked, not because she was under Noemie's direct attack, but because she couldn't understand what her mum was talking about.

"What's that supposed to mean? Of course I don't think you're-"

"Then look at me in the eye and tell me you're not doing this because of Orlando!"

The way her stern words cut her off mid-sentence got Zowie's stubbornness stirring to life. When added to the mixture, Noemie's assumptions only served to make it worse. Staring at her with narrowed eyes, Zowie couldn't hold her temper back any longer.

"Why do you always have to expect the worst from me, mum? And before you take it out on Orlando, who, by the way, has _nothing_ to do with this, _I_ made this decision. It was me who decided to take a gap year and work with dad in the movies!"

Aware that the argument was about to get out of hand, William stood up, hoping to stop it before it got ugly for everyone.

"Enough!"

His exclamation took both women by surprise. The shocked look on their faces angered William, making him realise neither his wife nor his daughter had stopped to consider that he might have a say in the matter. Having some concerns of his own, most of them echoing Noemie's, William turned to Zowie with a face carefully devoid of any accusations.

"Why is it that you want to postpone University, then?" He asked. "And I imagine you'll only _postpone_ it, that you'll go there as soon as possible without a single complaint, right?"

Zowie rolled her eyes. Nonetheless, she welcomed her dad's intervention, knowing the odds were on her side when it came to him.

"Of course I will, dad! I'm not saying I'll never go to University, because I do want to study and get my degree. I have no intention of living off the two of you for the rest of my life," Zowie knew she was pushing it a little, but if that contributed to making her point any clearer, then she had every intention to carry on like that. Giving William a pleading look, she went on, her voice softer this time. "Dad, can you imagine how great it'll be for my resume when I add _Lord of the Rings_ to it? Even the man who interviewed me at Massey was interested. He said it was a priceless experience, and that I should do it for as long as I could.

Don't you get it, dad? I just can't walk away knowing that I'll never have another chance like this! One year, that's all I'm asking for. I'll work with you, and I'll be the hardest worker you've ever seen. I'll get up at 4AM everyday if necessary. I promise to have blisters in my hands from wielding the sword so much, but I won't say a thing. I'll do my job so well, no one will have a chance to complain, and you know very well that I can. Please, dad... please remember all the fun _you_ had during your gap year!"

Her plea almost disarmed William, but he knew he couldn't make such an important decision without Noemie's support. Or, at the very least, her opinion.

He had to give it to his daughter, though - Zowie had an amazing ability to turn the cards in her favour. Mentioning his own gap year had been the perfect touch, one that had brought William to a dead end street, back against the wall and all. After that, denying Zowie of her right meant leaving her with the impression that there were certain things her dad could do that weren't allowed to her.

Then again, there were reasons in Zowie's argument that William could do nothing but back up. The movies would indeed be an unrepeatable experience for her, probably the only one that made postponing her education understandable. There was, of course, a chance that Orlando had something to do with her decision, but that was the only reason William didn't feel very inclined to support it.

"I hope you understand this isn't something your father and I can't decide overnight. We'll have to discuss this," Noemie said, and once Zowie nodded in agreement, she carried on. "There is something, though... something I need to know," the tone in her mum's voice should have warned Zowie, but after the success with her dad, she considered herself brave enough to put up with whatever Noemie had in store for her. "Are you sure you're not doing this because of Orlando?"

Her words brought so much frustration to Zowie, she could feel the burn of hot, telling tears in her eyes. As if there was _any_ way Zowie could tell her mum she was dying to spend every possible minute with Orlando! If she took that gap year, Zowie was positive things between them would speed up, and that she would be Orlando's girlfriend before long.

Taking a deep breath, Zowie's humble blue eyes fixed on her mum with a silent plea.

"Mum, Orlando and I are friends, nothing more," her voice didn't tremble, and Zowie found courage in that strength to carry on. "He's a great guy, but I'm afraid he sees me more like a little sister than a girl, anyway. They all do, in fact. You can ask dad, he barely leaves me alone when we're on set."

The sole thought of her words being true terrified Zowie, gnawing at her heart until she shivered. She didn't even want to contemplate the idea, it was simply too much for her to bear. Orlando _couldn't_ think of her as a little sister, he couldn't! That's why she had to stay. That's why she had to do everything in her power to make Orlando realise they were soul mates before too much time passed.

"Mum, dad," she spoke, her voice soft and her eyes tired. "Can I go to my room now? There are a few things I need to prepare for the open day, and I'd really like to get them done before tomorrow."

If Noemie and William found anything strange in her sudden interest for the last few remaining school activities, they said nothing about it. Noemie simply nodded, and Zowie walked away, head low in what she hoped was a humble gesture. Unaware, she missed the look her parents shared, a reproachful one that was full of things Zowie had no idea of. Had she noticed it, she might not have given too much thought about it either, for more urgent matters clouded her mind. They _had_ to agree to her plan. If they didn't... Zowie shook her head. She didn't even want to think about it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19.**

While Brooke and Zowie hadn't gone dress hunting together, they had nonetheless made sure to keep the other updated on their finds, their doubts and, above all, on the possibility of finding each other's Perfect Dress. The same happened with shoes, accessories, and any other thing they might need for such a special night. After all, your own Leavers' Ball didn't happen every day, right?

Standing in her room, Zowie claimed to feel a healthy dose of nervousness, knowing there was no use pretending she was sailing through the whole experience with not even a hint of anticipation inside her. Not that Noemie would have believed her, anyway.

To be honest, Zowie felt capable of climbing the walls, but there was no way she was going to admit _that_! Labelling it as normal nervousness was a nice way to keep herself from panicking, too. She wanted the evening to be perfect, exactly what she had dreamed of all those years, and realising there was a very thin line between incredible success and sound failure, she had put extra care in every detail.

The day had been long, and it would be much longer still. Zowie had got up early; not early enough to give her puffy, sleepy eyes later in the evening, but enough to do everything she needed to do without rushing. Her mum, however, had been up much earlier, and with Jewell in tow, the three Hart women set out to prepare Zowie for the Ball.

While Zowie had known the day's agenda by heart, Noemie's help was still invaluable; no matter how much she dreaded her mum's strictness most of the time, she wouldn't have lasted a second without her. As for Jewell, there was _"absolutely no way"_ , she had said, that she was missing out on the exciting preparations for the Ball. Her own special night was, according to her, ages away, and Zowie imagined Jewell was, in some way, channelling that experience through her older sister.

Zowie grinned at the thought. Jules had managed to be underfoot most of the time, but wouldn't she have done the same thing herself? In fact, she had, Zowie mused, remembering her cousin Camille's Ball. She had been, what, fourteen, fifteen at the time? She and Camille had always got along, and since she hadn't minded having her around, Zowie had enjoyed the experience greatly.

Back then, Zowie had felt exactly the same way Jewell did at the moment: that her own chance to join the fun was ages away. Now, as she stood in front of the full length mirror of her room, it seemed unbelievable that the day had finally come. The knot in her stomach didn't lie, though. Had Noemie not forced her to eat at regular intervals, Zowie would have probably gone through the day with nothing in her stomach, she was so nervous and excited. It had been more than worth it, though, Zowie mused as she critically stared at her reflection.

She hadn't wanted to overdo it, and that's why the hunt for the Perfect Dress had taken so long. Not only had Zowie wanted to look flawless, she had also wanted to dress to impress.

There had been a point, though, when Zowie had feared the Perfect Dress didn't exist, that she would be forced to attend her own Leavers' Ball in something she hated. Moments away from giving up on the whole idea, Noemie had given her the surprise of her life.

Having just sat for her last final, Noemie was the last person Zowie had expected to see waiting for her by the College's gates. Not sure what to expect, it had taken her a few moments before noticing the rather sly grin on Noemie's lips as she urged her to hurry up. _"You're going to love what I've found for you,"_ she had said. And she had been right. Thanks to Noemie, an awed Zowie now admired the reflection the mirror offered of her, a vision of pink chiffon that sparkled under the bright lights.

The Perfect Dress indeed existed, and Noemie had found it for her. It was original, unlike many, many of the dresses Zowie and her mum had scrutinised for weeks, and it called to her the minute she laid eyes on it.

A strapless piece made of pink print chiffon, Zowie had fallen in love with it instantly, and the sight the mirror offered her proved her right. The fabric wrapped around her breasts with tiny sequins embroidered here and there, glistening like the gentlest of raindrops. The neckline, the only thing to bring Zowie a bit of uncertainty in the beginning, had proved to be nothing but a great asset. It was modest enough to keep her dad calm, showing nothing that shouldn't be shown, and safe enough to prevent any unwanted accidents.

The delicate, iridescent fabric flowed elegantly from the empire waist to her mid thigh, a pattern resembling a floral pattern gracing the hem. It was so beautiful and so feminine that Zowie couldn't repress the urge of spinning on her heels just to admire the way the dress twirled around her. Feeling more girly than ever before, Zowie's fingers brushed the flower, made of the same fabric as the dress, sewn to the ruche bust line. Any other dress, it would have been enough to give Zowie second thoughts. On that one, however, it seemed just perfect.

To honour such a beautiful dress, Zowie had decided to keep the rest simple, yet elegant. Her hair was down, styled in loose, shiny waves that framed her face and tickled her shoulders and back. Her make up was light, accentuating her eyes with a smoky effect, one that brought out the blue in her irises in the most appealing way. Her lips wore a natural shade of pink, and as for her skin, it glowed with a soft, golden tan.

Her eyes then moved down meeting the high heeled silver sandals that completed the outfit. The same ones that would make her date for the night go wild.

"I'm not sure Elijah's going to like these much," Zowie said, pointing at the sandals.

Eyeing the high heels questioningly, Noemie gave her daughter a conspiring smile.

"Don't worry," she said. "He won't know about them until he gets here, and once he does, it'll be too late to change anything, right?"

Zowie couldn't help but grin. If only her mum let her hair down more often, she was sure they wouldn't clash nearly as much.

Then, and in spite of all the excitement, a shadow crossed her eyes. It was much too quick to be noticed, but Zowie had to fight it for every inch, not wanting the darkness to spoil her perfect day.

Some time ago, Zowie had determined there was only one person who could take her to the Ball, and that was the same person who could make all her dreams for the evening become a reality.

But he had deserted her, shattering all her hopes.

Honestly, Orlando had never quite promised to go with her. She knew his hectic schedule, and she knew there was a big, big chance he would be away that day. Still, Zowie had been so sure Orlando would agree that she had been devastated when he told her he would be away all weekend.

It all had seemed so perfect and easy in her mind! In her dreams, Orlando would pick her up wearing a smart suit, and then they would wow everyone at the Ball. And she would look so ravishing, he wouldn't be able to hold himself back; that way, the night wouldn't end without them sharing a kiss at the very least. Now, Zowie couldn't help shaking her head with a grimace. Boy, was she one lousy fortune teller or what?

Yet, as sad and disappointed as she had felt, Zowie hadn't allowed herself to be brought down by his negativity. Orlando was indeed busy working; wasn't that what he was in New Zealand for, anyway? Besides, there had been a look of such regret in his eyes when he declined her invitation that Zowie hadn't been able to hold it against him for long. Unless, of course, Orlando decided to share with anyone the fact that it was _her_ who had asked him to the Ball and not the other way around, as it should have been. If that ever came to happen, Zowie was more than willing to forget whatever love she felt for him and kill Orlando with her bare hands.

There had been no need for such extreme measures, though; not as soon as Elijah came into the picture.

Zowie had been careful not to make her plans known, but after their disastrous outcome, she hadn't been able to stop herself from complaining about her lack of a date when chatting with Elijah. There was no way she was attending the Ball on her own, she had told him, so she might as well get used to the idea of staying at home watching a crappy movie while all the other girls had their fun.

She hadn't intended to convince Elijah of anything, but the moment he nonchalantly offered to be her date, Zowie hadn't been able to do anything but stare stupidly at him for a few seconds. Smiling, Elijah had insisted, and when the intention in his words finally made it through the shock clouding her mind, Zowie wouldn't have dreamed of answering anything but a rotund _"yes!"_. It was a good thing she had never mentioned asking Orlando, though; if Elijah ever found out and felt she had tricked him into going with her, Zowie would never forgive herself.

Looking up, she met Noemie's eyes in the mirror as her mum posed her hands on her shoulders in a reassuring gesture.

"Zowie, Elijah will forget everything about your heels the moment he sees you."

There was such a conspiring glow in her mum's eyes, it only took Zowie a second to understand what she actually meant.

"It's not like that, mum... we're not like that," Zowie pointed out, trying to make sure her mum didn't have any expectations about them. "Lij and I are just friends. He's really nice and funny, not to mention cute, but I don't like him that way. Neither will he after he sees me in these heels, anyway."

Her last words had a sole purpose, and that was to lighten her statement. Zowie knew when she treaded on thin ice, and also knew Noemie could easily detect in her words the truth of her feelings for Orlando. If that came to happen, there was no question as to what would follow: Noemie's good mood would vanish, and her day would be ruined. Not something Zowie looked forward to, obviously.

Before she could add anything else, Jewell bounced into the room, bright eyed with excitement.

"He's here, Zow! Elijah's here!"

If Zowie had thought she couldn't feel any more nervous, that same instant proved her wrong. The moment Jewell shared the news, the knot in her stomach grew to epic proportions, and when her head felt a little light, she was thankful for her mum force feeding her all through the day. Otherwise, Zowie would have probably fainted, ruining her dress, hair, _and_ night, all of which were completely out of the question.

Seconds later, the bell rang, and Zowie couldn't help but hold her breath as William led Elijah upstairs, all the time complimenting him on how smart he looked. There was nothing Zowie wouldn't have given to see him with her own eyes, but she controlled herself in the last instant. Even if Elijah was her friend, there was no point in appearing so eager, right?

In order to busy herself, Zowie made sure everything was taken care of, and that she was leaving nothing behind. Then, picking up her pink clutch, she took a deep breath before giving herself one last look in the mirror. _"Thank God it's warm,"_ Zowie mused. She had feared that the usually warm, and some times straight out hot November would betray her, forcing her to wear a coat that would ruin the entire effect. However, God had listened to her prayers, and not only did the sun shine brightly, there was also a warm breeze that would probably last well into the night.

Not five minutes had passed when Zowie, unable to wait any longer, determined that the fashionably late rule had been dutifully respected. The fact that she was anxious to get to the Duxton Hotel, where the Ball would be held, and party like there was no tomorrow with her best friends had nothing to do with it, of course.

"You look lovely, Zowie," Noemie said, her voice proud. "Absolutely beautiful."

Zowie smiled, basking in the flattery. It was a pity that the one she had initially chosen to share that evening with wasn't around, but looking at her mum and her pleasant, happy expression, something inside her told Zowie it might have been for the better. After all, she doubted Noemie would have looked so relaxed if Orlando had been the one to attend the Ball with her.

"God, I wish I could wear something like that!" Jewell exclaimed wistfully, her eyes shining longingly.

Zowie smiled at her, an answer ready on her lips when Noemie interrupted her.

"Not unless you want your dad to have a heart attack. One daughter growing up at the time is hard enough for him as it is!"

Jewell rolled her eyes, and Zowie could see the impatience shining in them. Once again, she couldn't blame her little sister for wanting to live all those experiences. She too had been thirteen and had also longed for pretty dresses and high heels. The wait had seemed impossibly long, though, but Zowie now knew Jewell's own special day would come before she even realised.

"Why don't we go shopping tomorrow? We might not be able to buy you a dress like this, but I'm sure there's other nice stuff we can get for you."

Jewell's face beamed at Zowie's offer, and the latter was sure the only thing to keep her little sister from jumping into her arms was the ever present notion of not ruining that dress she liked so much. Still, she made sure Zowie saw her emphatic nod, to which she responded with a smile and a wink. Zowie was a cool older sister, Jewell mused as she followed her and Noemie upstairs. At least, when her mood wasn't on a killing rampage, that is.

As they made their way upstairs, Zowie could hear the men of the family, plus Elijah, chatting away, completely unaware of their impending arrival. If her hearing didn't deceive her, Zowie was sure there was some sports TV show on, and she wondered whether her dad was trying to force some of the family's love for football on their American guest. Zowie shook her head. After having tried that herself, and having failed horribly in the process, she knew very well how futile it would be.

Much to her surprise, Zowie realised she was more than anxious to hear what those three men had to say about her appearance. A part of her longed for Orlando to be one of them, to have the chance to see the surprise glowing in his eyes as well as the interest she knew would soon follow. There was nothing Zowie wouldn't gladly give just to be there, looking Orlando in the eyes the moment he realised she was a woman, and one he was very attracted to at that.

But he wasn't there, and that tiny little part inside her that still hurt was more than willing to bask in whatever attention she could get; even if it came from the men of her family and the best male friend she had. Parting her lips, she was ready to announce her arrival as they reached the living room when her mum beat her at it.

"Say hello to the belle of the ball!"

Zowie shook her head. She couldn't be mad at Noemie when her excitement was so obvious.

Then, as all eyes turned to her, Zowie couldn't help but feel the tiniest hint of nervousness inside her. Would they like it? Would they think that, despite her best efforts, she had still overdone it?

Fidgeting a little, Zowie met her dad's eyes first. In William's opinion, the dress showed too much of everything for his liking, but Zowie and Noemie had stood their ground. Noemie had been particularly firm about it saying that when it came to cleavage, there was nothing to complain about since nothing that shouldn't be seen was even hinted at. As for the legs, Noemie had smugly pointed out that, since Zowie had inherited her legs, it would be an absolute shame to keep those hidden. All in all, they had left William little chance to complain.

As she studied him, Zowie could see the struggle in his eyes. She knew William battled the urge of ordering her back to her room and cover herself with a potato sack, while at the same time conscious that he should let his daughter go. Not sure which one would win, Zowie was pleasantly surprised when William spoke.

"You look absolutely stunning, Zowie!" Pride dripped from his words. "Horribly grown up too, which I hate, but stunning nonetheless."

A broad smile touched Zowie's lips at her dad's words. She knew how hard it was for William to admit that she was growing up; that she was, at least chronologically, bordering adulthood, but he was trying. At least, that night. The fact that she was attending a heavily supervised school event surely had a lot to do with it, though.

"Thank you, dad!" Knowing better than to push her luck and take his approval as it came, Zowie gave him a quick hug, refraining from asking anything about the dress in case William changed his mind.

Jared was next. He didn't seem too comfortable about having to exchange flatteries with his older sister, but even he had to admit that Zowie looked really good. He said so, and it appeared as if he might have preferred to die on the spot than to speak those incriminating words. Sure, Jared loved his sister, but even _that_ had a limit!

As for Elijah, the first thought to cross his mind was how willingly he would go back to the old days of fancying Zowie. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and in that moment, he couldn't help but realise what a complete idiot Orlando was. Had Zowie been half as besotted with him as she was with his friend, Elijah would have made his move a long time ago. With a tiny, evil grin, Elijah promised to himself that he would be around the moment Zowie showed Orlando the many, many pictures she would surely take that night. His friend's reaction was something he wouldn't miss for the world.

However, all smugness disappeared the moment he gave a her closer, more thorough look.

"Oh, come on, Zowie... not the heels!!"

Elijah's voice held such an offended tone, Zowie couldn't repress her giggles. Well, it had surely taken him some time to notice _that_ , she mused with a pleased grin. Only after he had carefully acquainted himself with the rest of her had Elijah noticed the offensive heels. That simple fact made her ego soar to unknown levels, enough to have Zowie pitying Orlando for missing out on what promised to be an amazing night.

"Yeah, right. Go ahead and laugh, very nice of you, Zowie," Elijah complained, making her giggle even harder. "I do my best to look good, and what do I get? That!" He exclaimed, pointing at her sandals. "All your friends will wonder who the dwarf is."

"Sure. And then they'll wonder how to better distract me so they can steal you away."

Zowie wasn't exaggerating. She knew that, as soon as they set foot on the Duxton, all female attention would turn to Elijah. She could even anticipate what they would be thinking, too; they would all be wondering how to better catch his attention without Zowie noticing. She had no time to point that out, though, for William's request came first.

"If you're done, I'd suggest you two pose for a picture before you leave."

"Will Zowie sit down for it?"

Elijah couldn't help but share a smile with Zowie at the way William rolled his eyes at his comment. Having spent enough time with them in the past months, William wasn't the least surprised by Elijah's and Zowie's friendly banter, so picking up the camera that had been patiently waiting on the coffee table, he led them to the small terrace overlooking Evans Bay.

Separated from the living room by a set of French doors, the terrace provided a nice spot for some outdoors time, enjoying the sun and the breeze. As Elijah stepped out, he could perfectly understand why William had chosen that setting. The late spring sun, still high in the sky, shed its light over the bay, making the sea glisten like diamonds. The view itself was breathtaking, and Elijah discovered that he was looking forward to the final product.

What started off as one simple picture of Zowie and Elijah before they headed off to the Ball, evolved into a session including the entire family. If Noemie hadn't pointed out that they would be late, they would have probably never left the house on time.

"I'll make sure she behaves," Elijah said as the Harts escorted them to the door. "No need to worry about a single thing, William. I'll have Zowie back home on time."

"Thanks, Lij. I know you'll keep Zowie on track... or at least try to," William mused with a rather insecure look in his eyes as they drifted thoughtfully towards his daughter.

At that, Zowie gave her dad a dramatic roll of her eyes.

"Dad, it's a school celebration. A _Catholic_ school celebration, to be precise. No smoking, drugs, or alcohol are allowed. Unless you brought the vodka I asked you to buy, of course," she added, glancing nonchalantly in Elijah's direction.

The way William rolled his eyes turned out to be a perfect impersonation of Zowie. Then, with a few more warnings and recommendations, the Harts saw them off, waving with smiles on their faces as Elijah started the car.

"Well? Where to?"

Zowie grinned, her blue eyes sparkling.

"To party, Lij. I'll show you the way."

***

The moment Zowie and Brooke met at the Duxton's Ballroom Foyer, Elijah shook his head with amusement. Anyone would think they hadn't seen each other in ages when he knew how impossible it was for them to spend twenty-fours without at least talking over the phone. None of that stopped them, however, from going on and on about how good the other looked, how amazing the dresses were, and many other things that made Elijah grin.

One quick look in his direction was enough for Zowie to detect, not just Elijah's amusement, but also the fact that he was more than ready to join in the fun. She also noted the look of admiration in his clear blue eyes as they settled on Brooke, and Zowie smiled proudly. The bright turquoise dress looked great on her, bringing out her blonde hair and blue eyes. The high halter neckline was very flattering, held together by two thin straps that slid swiftly around her neck and down to cross the open back. The final, glamorous touch of the knee-length dress was the beadwork that adorned the empire waist.

As they waited in line, ready to pose for an official picture with an impressive view of the Wellington harbour in the back, Zowie introduced Elijah to Brian, Brooke's date. A Leaver from St. Patrick's College, he was Brooke's most recent love interest. Since she wasn't sure how wise it would be to get truly involved with someone when both of them were leaving Wellington in a few weeks, their relationship wasn't overly serious. In the meantime, however, they made sure to enjoy their time together.

The rest of the night was a blur of activity that would, however, be forever engraved in Zowie's mind. Hers and Elijah's picture at the Foyer had turned out lovely, so had Brooke's and Brian's, and most of the night was spent dancing to the songs that promised to make their summer unforgettable. Not much food was eaten, and soft drinks abounded, as well as many pictures snapped with different cameras.

All through the night Zowie had to answer many subtle, and others not so much, questions about Elijah which was, at times, harder than she had imagined. She hadn't wanted to admit that she didn't have a date for the Ball, at least, not a romantic one, and that it was one of her best friends to escort her that night.

She hadn't counted on Elijah, though. Skilfully, he dealt with that curiosity, dropping hints here and there that made her school mates think there might be something else going between them without actually giving them any facts. Zowie had to smile with admiration. If she didn't love Elijah already, she sure did from that night on.

The other surprising moment of the Ball came when Ms. Carroll, one of the teachers assigned to care for the students, their wellbeing and general behaviour, approached Zowie and Brooke as they waited for their respective dates to bring them some drinks.

"You look lovely, girls," she said with an honest, open smile. "Are you enjoying yourselves?"

Still surprised that her nemesis had decided to approach them, and not sure whether she didn't have a card up her sleeve, Zowie stared silently at her. Brooke, sensing a long, awkward silence coming, jumped in with a prompt answer.

"We are, Ms. Carroll. It's a great night and the hotel is amazing. Are you enjoying yourself?"

Shelby smiled.

"I am, Brooke... thanks for asking." Then, turning to a still stunned Zowie, she added, "I heard your parents agreed on you taking a gap year, Zowie."

Keeping her face straight wasn't easy when surprise filled every fibre of her body.

"Umm... yes, yes, they have. It wasn't easy, though."

Why was she giving so much information away? Taking a deep breath, Zowie decided to be in control of the conversation from now on.

"I can imagine. You should have told me, Zowie. I could have helped you with that." When Zowie's face took on a surprised look, Ms. Carroll grinned. "Don't be so surprised, Zowie. I know we never quite got along, and that you're sure I was bent on making your life a living hell, but if I ever pushed you a little harder than the others, it's only because I knew you could handle it. Like I'm sure you can handle helping your father with his work."

What could she answer to that? It was certainly a shock, but years of being haunted by the image of Ms. Carroll wouldn't disappear after one nice, yet disturbing comment. And the fact that she had offered her help... could it get any more confusing?

"Thank you," Zowie said at last, when Ms. Carroll's eyes became expectant. "I appreciate it. I just... I just never thought about it, I suppose."

Shelby dismissed her apology with a smile.

"Don't worry. If you ever need help, though, don't hesitate to contact me. People at the College can give you my number."

Before any of the girls could add anything, Ms. Carroll gave them a little wave and a smile and left them, finding another group of girls to chat with.

"Did this just happen? I mean, did you just hear the same thing _I_ did?" Brooke's tone was full of astonishment. Zowie stared at her, feeling just as confused.

"Yeah..."

"That was weird."

Then, as if finally understanding what had just happened, Zowie's incredulous stare fixed on Brooke's face.

"As if I would ever ask for help from _her_!" Her exclamation was full of shock and disbelief. "Can you imagine what my parents would have thought had she ever showed up at home, or worse, asked them to see her at school? They would have killed me! I mean, I had so many problems with her, they would _never_ believe she was there to support me."

Brooke was about to answer when a male voice interrupted her.

"Was that the Teacher from Hell?"

Zowie eyed Elijah, shock still lingering inside her.

"Yes. And it was _weird_ ," she said, making sure she emphasised the word _weird_.

The incident was soon forgotten, though. By the time the Ball grudgingly came to an end, there were no traces of Ms. Carroll's request in Zowie's mind. All she could think of was that she had just had the most amazing night of her life surrounded by her friends and that the year ahead was full of promises. Ms. Carroll and her intriguing visit were pushed to the darkest corner of her mind, not to be summoned again for a long, long time.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20.**

There was no use trying to change Brooke's mind, and the sole idea bothered Zowie to no end. It also angered her, but it hadn't taken her long to realise that it was something she needed to do on her own. Not that she wouldn't have appreciated Brooke's support, though; after all, Zowie wasn't as used to breaking the law as her friend seemed to believe.

Saying she was nervous would be a huge understatement. After a close examination of the tangle of feelings inside her, Zowie concluded that _scared to death_ was the most accurate and precise expression to describe the way she felt. Still, nothing would make her go back on her steps, not when she was so convinced she was doing the right thing.

Throwing quick, cautious glances around, Zowie tried to walk down the street as nonchalantly as possible. She dreaded the idea of bumping into anyone familiar, but should the worst come to happen, saying she was running an errand for her dad seemed an excuse suitable enough. That alone should work in case she met someone in the vicinity of that particular printing shop she was heading to, although Zowie prayed to God things wouldn't come to that.

When she turned the corner and her destination came to sight, Zowie felt a wave of anticipation overpowering her. It was so strong, that she missed a step, but clenching her jaw, Zowie determined that she had come too far to let fear lead her away in the last possible second. Didn't she want to spend as much time with Orlando as possible? Didn't she want him to see her as the woman she was, instead of the friend that was always around, like he seemed to do?

Zowie wanted all of that, and more, but she wouldn't achieve a single thing by sitting back, patiently waiting for all those things to magically come to life! If she wanted _anything_ to happen between her and Orlando before she turned thirty, then Zowie needed to take matters on her own two hands and turn the tables in her favour.

Yet, no matter how hard she tried, countless obstacles constantly got in the way. Sure, they still spent time together on set, at least when Zowie and her dad happened to be working with Orlando's unit, but that didn't necessarily happen every day; in fact, as much as a week or two could pass without Zowie seeing Orlando because of their respective jobs. They met on his days off some times, but Zowie had soon realised that there was a part of Orlando's life, one he shared with his cast mates and other people, that was simply off limits to her: his nights out on the town.

The thought had never crossed Zowie's mind, but when it did, it hit her with the power of lightning. It had been an amazing day, one she and Brooke had shared with Orlando and the Hobbits on the beach, full of laughter and joy. Then, just as Zowie had begun to wonder whether they would take it to any of the guys' houses and continue for the night, she had been cruelly brought back to reality. Orlando and the others would go out that night, and the implications that flooded her mind were simply impossible to ignore.

What use was there in spending the day with him, trying to appear as attractive as she could in a bikini that would have given her dad a heart attack, if a complete stranger could appear out of nowhere and seduce Orlando under the mysterious lights of a club? The thought alone was terrifying, and stubbornly, Zowie's mind sought for an answer, for the option she knew existed.

It was then that she remembered her cousin Camille.

Clinging to her earlier determination, Zowie took a deep breath. Then, with a light touch of boldness colouring her every move, she walked into the shop, a bright smile on her face and ready to do almost anything to get what she wanted.

"Hi," the young clerk greeted her, and the interest shining in his light brown eyes further encouraged Zowie. "How can I help you?"

Zowie's smile took on a flirty hint as her mind raced with the implications. He was interested. If she was smart, she could certainly use that in her favour.

"I'm not sure I'm in the right place," she answered as she reached the counter. Then, leaning forward just a bit, she lowered her voice until it was little more than a conspiring whisper. "I'm looking for Max."

His smile never faltered. That tiny detail, one she would have surely missed had she not been so intent on analysing his every move, told Zowie what she wanted to know: that he was the man she was looking for. A thrill bubbled inside her. Not for a minute did Zowie stop to think about the danger of putting herself in that man's hands so willingly; there was only one target in her mind, and it was so strong that she decided to throw all caution to the wind.

With a non-committal smile, Max perched himself on the tall stool behind him and, crossing his arms over his chest, offered Zowie his undivided attention.

"What brought you here?"

His tone was friendly, yet cautious, but Zowie wasn't surprised. No matter how light they tried to make it sound, it was a very serious matter, one that could get them both in deep trouble. Still, unwilling to let that chance slip by, Zowie rested her hip against the counter and playing as nonchalant as he did, fixed her blue eyes on him.

"I was told you could help me with something," she answered, her voice low and calm. "In fact, I was recommended by a very good client."

As soon as those words came out, Zowie realised how weak her link to this man was. How long had passed since she had been given that information, two, three years? What if Max didn't remember her source at all? Fear got her heart pounding in her chest. He _had_ to remember her! And if he didn't, then Zowie would have to play all her cards, if necessary, to get him to help her.

"And that client is...?" Max's scrutinising brown eyes evaluated her, his features so pleasant and so controlled at the same time that Zowie could have never guessed what was going through his mind.

"Lindsey Bruce."

Yes, it was wrong to pray to God for assistance in a moment like that. Awfully wrong, to be precise, but if that granted her access to what she was looking for, then Zowie was more than willing to accept whatever divine punishment she would get in return.

Thing was, Lindsey Bruce didn't exist. It was nothing but a name, a name Camille had used when she too had gone to Max for help some years ago.

Back in those days, her cousin had been pretty much in the same situation Zowie found herself at the moment. There was a guy, a bit older than her, that Camille was absolutely in love with. Problem was, he had a thing for partying at Wellington’s most select clubs every weekend, which left the back then seventeen-year-old Camille sitting at home wondering when would some girl steal him away from her. How to get the chance to join him so he would finally understand Camille was the girl of his dreams?

Getting a fake driver's license, of course. That could open the door to almost everything, as long as it said she was eighteen already.

Zowie remembered finding out about Camille's intentions by accident, as well as she remembered begging her to share the information, if only to feel important and adult. There was nothing she could do with that knowledge at the age of fourteen, so it had been nothing but gossip she and Brooke whispered about during sleep-overs.

With time, her cousin's words had lost themselves in the tangle of memories in Zowie's mind. Never had she imagined there would be a day when she would find herself following Camille's path... and hoping for the same result, she mused. Camille and Jake, the guy she had been so madly in love with during her 13th Year, had been a couple for three years now.

When a spark of recognition lit Max's eyes, Zowie's heart skipped a beat.

"Oh yes, Lindsey," his smile was easy, and it remained on his lips as he turned to Zowie with a questioning look in his eyes. "I take it you're here for the same reasons, then?"

Her heart beat so fast, Zowie was sure he could hear it from where he sat. Would Max help her? But what if he had long since given up on his illegal activities? Where would that leave her, then?

"Exactly. I need you to do me a favour."

Assuming a business man-like stance, Max studied her from his spot.

"What favour in particular?"

Zowie took a deep breath. It was now... or never. The finality that loomed ahead didn't go unnoticed by her, lingering in front of her eyes with a taunting smile.

"A driver's license," she finally said, her voice lowering into nothing more than a soft whisper.

It took a few seconds until Max answered, and when he did, when he finally nodded in response, Zowie let out the breath she didn't realise she had been holding. Her knees wobbled as relief washed over her, and her mind whirled as countless possibilities offered themselves to her. She was going to do it! She was getting the means to join Orlando on his nights out! Of course, it would be hard to work that out without her parents finding out, but in that moment, Zowie felt there was nothing she couldn't do.

If Max noticed her surprise and relief, he didn't mention it. Instead, his expression never faltered as if her request didn't surprise him at all. Which probably didn't, Zowie mused, since he was more used to that kind of business than she could even imagine. Before she could add anything, Max then scribbled something on a piece of paper, one he slid on the counter until it was placed before her.

"Is this okay with you?"

Trying hard to keep her emotions under control so they wouldn't give her away, Zowie picked the paper up, not even blinking at what Max had written there. So the figure was a bit higher than she had expected, but what was a bit of money when her achieving her dream was just around the corner? The moment Orlando's face floated in her mind, Zowie knew she would do anything for him, including closing that deal with Max.

"Sure," she said, offering him a quick nod as she eased the paper in her back pocket.

Smiling once more, Max stood up, stuffing his hands in his faded jeans' pockets.

"You have everything I need?" Nodding, Zowie produced a small envelope from her purse, one that held a picture of her suitable enough for a document like the one she was after. "Come back in three days," Max then said. "Everything will be done by then."

Just as she was about to ask him when he wanted the money, a man walked in, and she had a hard time concealing a guilty expression at his unexpected appearance.

"I... ummm... I'll pick those flyers up later this week, okay?" Those words were the first thing to leave her lips, and Zowie hated herself for it. She had been handling the situation so well until then, she wished they hadn't been interrupted. Now, whatever impression she given Max had surely gone down the drain.

Hoping to avoid herself any further embarrassment, Zowie gave Max a quick smile and a wave and exited the shop. Her excitement was so big, though, it took her walking a few streets to finally, and fully, understand what she had just done.

A little mischievous smile played on Zowie’s lips. The danger of her activities had given her such an adrenaline rush, and the excitement of her success so close she could almost feel it, made her want to jump up and down in her spot. If she didn't actually do it, it was just because she stood on a very busy corner of Wellington, and whoever saw her would think her mad. Nonetheless, she couldn't hold back the wide smile that graced her full lips. She would do it. She knew that now. From now on, it would be nothing but a simple countdown until Orlando realised how much he loved her. He wouldn't know what hit him, for he simply wouldn't be able to resist her. And once he did, Zowie would be there, ready and willing to show him all he had lost by thinking of her as nothing but a little girl.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21.**

_“I can see what you want_

_But you seem pretty young_

_To be searching for that kind of fun”_

**_ABBA – Does Your Mother Know_ **

 

The warmth of the summer night welcomed Zowie as she exited the cab, embracing her with promises of adventure. Senses sharpened, her skin tingled with excitement as the warm breeze brushed her, and a pleased smile touched her lips as she, out of the corner of her eye, noticed the interested glances that were cast in her direction. It didn't surprise her, though, for that was exactly the kind of reaction she had had in mind when choosing that particular outfit for the night.

One winter evening, a long time ago, Zowie had made a promise to Orlando; a promise she hadn't been able to fulfil. She had never forgotten about it, though. Now, on her first night out on the town with her newly acquired driver's license, Zowie had considered it fitting to finally make true to her word to Orlando and wear the black mini skirt that had been banned from her wardrobe so many months ago.

Zowie could barely contain the joy and anticipation that bubbled inside her. She had been looking forward to this night for so long that she had carefully planned her every move. From the moment she had received the license that was now safely hidden in her purse, to the moment she had stepped out of the cab, Zowie had set out to make that night the most perfect one ever.

She had to thank Max for that: he had done one amazing job. When comparing her license to her mum's, there was no telling which one was legal and which one was fake. That was something Zowie should have cared about a lot earlier, but considering how good the outcome had been, she had been more than willing to look past her mistake and move on.

Once she possessed the means to take the next step in her and Orlando's relationship, Zowie had discovered that putting her newest acquisition to use could be much easier than she had expected. Since they were used to having her around, Orlando and the Hobbits had freely discussed their plans for the weekend in front of Zowie, unaware of how interested in them she actually was. By the time a particular club was chosen and a time was set, all that Zowie needed was a good excuse to get out of the house that night.

It was then that Brooke came to the rescue.

Not that she had planned it, of course, but her offer couldn't have possibly suited Zowie's plans better if she had had a say in it. Brooke's parents would be away all weekend, and although her grandmother would keep her company during the nights, Brooke would still have the house to herself. Obviously, Zowie had been invited, and that was a chance she couldn't waste.

Still, knowing better than to lie to her best friend, Zowie had taken great care in laying everything out in the open from the beginning. Brooke hadn't been too sure about it, but she had soon given in nonetheless, knowing there was no point in arguing with Zowie when her mind was set on something. After that, all Zowie had needed to leave her house without suspicion, was speaking the magic words that never failed: _“I'm spending the night at Brooke's!”_.

As soon as she was sure both parts agreed to her plan, Zowie had busied herself with preparations. What should she wear? And what about the make up? Should she style her hair in a particular way? Zowie had wracked her brain looking for the best answers, wanting to make sure Orlando simply couldn't stare at any other girl, but her.

Only one thing bothered Zowie as she stood on the sidewalk, and that was the possibility of the guys being already _in_ the club instead of being _about_ to arrive. They were regulars at that place, and since pretty much everyone in New Zealand who was aware of the movies knew the actors, there was no way the owner of that club would let them wait in line with the other mortals, Zowie thought with a grin.

However, that grin soon faded when a quick glance around told her Orlando and his friends were nowhere to be seen. Zowie forced herself to remain calm and not to fidget in her spot. She needed to appear as a confident young woman, one who did that same thing every weekend, and not as a seventeen-year-old, fresh out of school with a fake driver's license. Achieving that was anything but easy, but Zowie was stubborn enough not to give up without trying.

Lost in her musings, not paying any attention to the appreciative comments coming from a group of guys standing not too far away, Zowie was jolted back to reality when she felt a soft, yet persistent vibration in her purse. A wave of dread rose inside her as she reluctantly reached inside her bag, her hand closing around her cell phone. Did she really want to know who was trying to contact her? What if her parents had found out that she was out on her own, looking for adventure?

Zowie bit her lip, her stomach twisting into a nervous knot. The only way to find out what was truly going on was to open that text message and see for herself how much trouble she was in. Feeling more than a little hesitant, Zowie finally clicked the right buttons, not sure how ready she was to face the possible outcome.

_“You still alive?”_

“Oh, for Christ's sake!”

Relief washed over her, mixed with a tiny hint of annoyance at Brooke's text message. The latter soon faded, though; after all, she couldn't blame her friend for worrying about her. Of course, everything would have been very different if Brooke had agreed on getting a license herself. She had declined, however, telling Zowie in very clear terms that she had absolutely no plans of getting herself in far more trouble than she could handle, should the truth ever see the light of day. Far too many words to say that she was left on her own, Zowie mused.

Typing a quick answer to ease Brooke's concerns, Zowie stared at her phone with a doubtful look. Would she give herself away if she texted Elijah, just to see whether they were in the club already? Zowie didn't want them to know about her plans until it was too late, and they couldn't do a single thing to send her back home. The odds in her favour were quite slim as it was.

Then, as she debated with herself what to do next, a familiar voice brought Zowie back to reality, and her heart skipped a beat with recognition. With a sparkle of excitement shining in her blue eyes, Zowie quickly spun on her heels, her gaze falling on the group of four that headed towards the club's doors. Elijah led the way, followed closely by Orlando, Dominic, and Billy, and anticipation bubbled inside her. This was it. This time there was no going back. She couldn't let this opportunity pass her by.

“Hi, guys!”

Elijah was the first to respond to her call. Curious at the female voice that addressed them so confidently, the quick glance he threw over his shoulder made him freeze in his spot with disbelief.

“Zowie?”

She smiled widely, pleased by the look of utter shock in her friend's expressive face. A look that didn't last long, Zowie noticed, as his blue eyes took on a far more appreciative glow. Yet, as much as Elijah's behaviour pleased her, there was someone else, someone Zowie couldn't ignore the moment she felt his brown eyes on her.

“What are you doing here??”

Any other day, the tone in Orlando's voice would have, at least, annoyed her. But not that night. Her smile never faltering, Zowie adopted the sexy pose she had been rehearsing in front of her mirror and turned towards him.

“Can't I enjoy a night out?”

The way Zowie spoke those words, the confident smile that touched her lips as she did, all combined to make the most conflictive emotions whirl inside Orlando. The attraction, that same feeling he had thought dead a long time ago, surfaced first and foremost in his mind.

Still, other feelings soon battled that most primal one, like worry and concern. What was Zowie thinking? No one would ever let her into a club, not even in their company. It didn't matter that her 18th birthday was only three months away; in Orlando's mind, a club was no place for a girl her age. Besides, should Zowie actually get in, and William ever found out he and the others were involved... they were as good as dead.

Shaking his head emphatically, Orlando let his voice come out as little more than a hiss, yet one Zowie heard perfectly.

“How do you plan to get in there, Zowie? If you think I'll let you in, you're wrong!”

Zowie giggled, feeling very pleased. Orlando's shock wasn't a surprise, but the glint in his eyes as he took her in just seconds ago... that was worth all the trouble she could possibly get herself into.

"I'm an independent woman, Orlando. I have my ways, don't worry. I've got it all covered." Still grinning, Zowie produced the license from her purse and handed it to Orlando with a proud smile. "Say hello to the new me!"

Reluctantly, distrust shining in his eyes, Orlando took the card as if afraid of what he would find there. The moment he understood what he held in his trembling fingers he knew he had every right to freak out.

"What the hell is this, Zowie?" A mixture of shock and anger tinted his voice. “And who the hell is Lesley Bruce?"

"Duh!" Zowie exclaimed, her eyes shining with mirth as she took the license from Orlando's hand. No need to push her luck and have him doing God knew what with it, right? "I told you, it's the new me. The new, eighteen-year-old me. Remember... I have my ways!"

Yes, Orlando had every reason to be afraid. He eyed his friends, looking for help, but he soon realised they wouldn't be any; at least, not as long as they stared at Zowie with those dumb looks on their faces.

"You're _not_ going in there, you hear me? In fact, I'm taking you back home right now!"

Out of all the things Zowie had predicted for the night, Orlando's next actions weren't part of them. Taking her by surprise, he closed the distance between them with two quick steps and, grabbing hold of her elbow, began to drag Zowie towards the street.

"What do you think you're doing??" She exclaimed, trying to tug herself free from his grip. He ignored her, though, and the moment he spotted a cab coming their way, his face lit up. "Orlando!"

Zowie might as well not been there at all considering how little attention Orlando paid to her. Leading her towards the car the moment it stopped before them, Orlando managed to open the door before Zowie closed it with an angry look.

"I'm not leaving, you hear me?" Finally freeing herself, Zowie stepped back, carefully putting enough distance between them so he wouldn't catch her by surprise once again.

"Zowie, you're going home," Orlando said, his voice low and controlled, although his eyes shone with some nondescript emotion. "A club is no place for a girl your age."

"Says who?" Zowie taunted him, assuming a challenging posture. "You're not my dad, and since this shiny little card I just showed you says I'm eighteen, I can do whatever I want. Seriously, Orlando, as much as I like you, I don't need your permission to do anything. I'm mature enough to know exactly what I'm doing without you going all William on me."

Orlando rolled his eyes, frustration boiling inside him. With a remark ready to debunk her argument, he was interrupted the moment the cab driver popped his head through the car's window.

"Are you getting in or not?" The man asked, a slightly annoyed expression on his face. He was about to end his shift, and the last thing he needed was a couple arguing in the back seat.

"No! I'm sorry, but my boyfriend here... he kind of overreacted. Sorry for the inconvenience!"

Open mouthed, Orlando stared at Zowie as she, with a sweet smile, dismissed the driver. The man, more than eager to leave the argument behind, was out of Orlando's sight before he could even think of calling him back. That fact and the realisation of how easily Zowie had handled the situation infuriated Orlando. How was he supposed to deal with this if he couldn't even get her in a cab?

Fuming, Orlando closed the distance between them. This time, however, he didn't touch her; he merely stared down at Zowie from his height, locking his gaze with hers and hoping to intimidate her.

"You're not going in."

That was Orlando's final word. Or so he thought until Zowie grinned broadly at his threat, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Or else what, Orlando? I can take care of myself, don't worry," The taunting arrogance in her tone had a surprising effect on him: it both angered him and aroused him. “Or maybe you're worried someone will whisk me off my feet, and I won't be around that much? If that's what's bothering, all you have to do is say it. You'd be surprised at how understanding I can be.”

Zowie knew she was pushing his buttons far more than she should, but his anger was so invigorating and enticing at the same time that she couldn't help it. She could see the struggle in Orlando's eyes, and it only served to push her further and further. He wanted her! She had been right all along. With the power of that knowledge simmering inside her, Zowie bit her lip, urging herself not to smile as brightly as her heart ordered her to.

That didn't stop her, however, from stepping as close to Orlando as it was physically possible and letting one curious finger play with one of the buttons of his shirt. Toying with it, Zowie then let her eyes roam the skin exposed by the two top buttons left undone, warmth coiling inside her. What Zowie wouldn't give to run her hands over that soft skin! Pleasant thoughts crowded her mind, but very aware of how fragile her position was, Zowie couldn't forget Orlando still had the upper hand. A simple phone call would end her adventure, and that was something Zowie intended to avoid by any means.

"I'll tell you what," she said, letting her finger brush Orlando's skin for the briefest of seconds. "We'll go to that door, and I'll hand this license to the bouncer. If he finds out it's a fake, I'm out. I'll walk away as gracefully as I can. But if he finds nothing wrong with it, I'm going in, and you're not trying to get me out again, okay? I know what I'm doing here, and I know what I'm getting myself into. I don't need a bodyguard to take care of me, you hear?"

Orlando couldn't answer. He knew he had to say no, that he had to stop this insanity before it went any further, but he couldn't. Suddenly, Zowie's alluring voice was like the most powerful mermaid's song, leading him to his doom and leaving him powerless under its enchantment. But how could he fight it? Orlando was nothing but a young man; a healthy young man standing in front of a beautiful young woman, one that could make him do whatever she pleased as long as she stared up at him that way.

Closing his eyes, Orlando let his head hang low, discomfort dripping from his being. Was there anything to be done about it, anyway? Zowie was determined to get in the club, with or without his help. All Orlando knew was, if she did, and he wasn't around to take care of her, then he would never forgive himself.

"Okay, then."

Orlando's voice was so low that Zowie had to strain her ears in order to hear him. She did, though, and a delighted squeal escaped her lips as she threw her arms around his neck. Yet, Orlando could do little but stand motionless, overwhelmed by the feeling of Zowie's body pressed so tightly against his. He could feel each and every one of the curves he had admired moments ago. One thing was for sure: Zowie would _not_ make things any easier for him.

Overjoyed that Orlando had agreed to her plan, Zowie rejoiced in the few seconds their hug lasted. Planting a soft kiss on the corner of his lips, she then stepped back just an inch, never letting go of him.

"I promise you'll have no reason to complain, Orlando. I'll be perfect, I swear!"

Orlando nodded, but truth be told, he had no idea what Zowie had just said, as busy as he was trying to control his body before it embarrassed him. A quick look over her shoulder offered Orlando a glimpse of two very different realities. On one hand, Dom and Billy shot him encouraging, cheeky smiles impossible to mistake. Yet, on the other hand, Elijah's clear eyes seemed to mirror the concern Orlando felt in his heart. If anything, that managed to sober him up some, the reality of what he had just done dawning on him. Orlando had just agreed to getting Zowie into the club. Zowie, his coach's daughter. His coach's _underage_ daughter.

What had he just done? Orlando struggled for an answer that was far too elusive. What would he say should William ever find out about this? That Zowie had practically seduced him, convincing him to play the game she had set? He doubted William would be pleased with that kind of answer, and only then did Orlando realise the big responsibility resting in his hands. Zowie wouldn't willingly get into any trouble, he knew that. Still, she would attract lots of male attention, and that thought bothered him. Whether because he had been planning a quiet night, or because he would much rather have Zowie to himself, he didn't know.

Still wondering what he had got himself into, Orlando stared down at her as Zowie gave him a bright, beautiful smile that scattered his thoughts like dry leaves in the wind. Boy, he was in trouble!

"You coming or not?" Dom called out, bringing Orlando back to reality.

Zowie gave him no chance to hesitate. Taking his hand in hers, she led Orlando to their friends, who welcomed her with smiles and questions, all of which she promised to answer once they were inside. There was something, though, something that made Zowie's heart flutter: the fact that Orlando hadn't tried to free himself from her, not even once. Knowing he wanted it as much as she did was enough to keep her smiling, even when faced by the impressive and rather intimidating bouncer standing at the club's doors.

It only took Zowie a couple of seconds to realise that her friends were actually quite familiar with the tall redhead, enough to deal with _Nick_ in a first name basis. Also, it soon became obvious that, while he was _not_ going to ask the men for any proof of age, she wasn't going to get the same treatment. Her smile, so firm until now, quivered a little. Zowie's stubbornness, however, kicked in before fear touched her heart, and she inched closer to Orlando, hoping to denote the close relationship between them.

The moment Nick's thorough examination of her failed to conceal the thoughts in his mind, Zowie realised that not all the make up in the world, nor the sexiest clothes she owned, could possibly make her look much older than she actually was. Despite her careful planning, her success was in the hands of two men: Nick and Max. One had a promise to fulfil via his handiwork, while the other had all the means to put an end to her adventure.

Concealing the uneasiness that suddenly filled her was anything but easy, but feeling Orlando's hand in hers was all Zowie needed to make up her mind. Sure, she had made a promise, but she would much rather die than end the close contact they shared at that moment. So, with a little grin, Zowie handed Nick her license, praying Max's job was actually as good as it seemed.

"Hello, Leslie," Nick greeted her curtly.

Zowie had no chance to return the greeting, for the bouncer busied himself alternating quick glances between the license and the girl standing before him. Obviously, he wasn't too sure the birth date printed there was real, but Zowie refused to let him see how concerned she actually was. Instead, she turned to Orlando, giving him a confident wink that belied the anxiety that made her stomach churn. Looking away, she missed the brief, yet worried look Orlando and Elijah shared behind her back as one pleaded the other for ideas on how to deal with a potential rejection... or the fact of Zowie getting into the club.

The minute Nick offered Zowie her license back, she wasn't sure what to expect. Yet, the moment he gave her a non-committal smile and stepped aside in a surprisingly agile movement for a man his size, she thought her heart would explode.

"Welcome, have a great evening."

It was as simple as that. She had been so prepared for a negative that it took Zowie a few seconds to realise what was going on. Her bright, overjoyed smile showed nothing of her jumbled emotions, though. Holding tight to Orlando's hand, she followed the others inside the club, confidence rising inside her with every step she took.

She was in! The moment the doors of the club opened for her and her friends, Zowie felt that the door she had been hoping to see, the one that offered her more time with Orlando, was wide open for her. Zowie's more rational side reminded her that she wouldn't be able to repeat that adventure every weekend without risking too much, but she quickly drowned it. Nothing would spoil her fun. The future was still too far away, and there was no use worrying about it when she had that night to enjoy and make good use of.

Of its own accord, her body began to sway, following the rhythm of the music. As the beat permeated her being, Zowie realised that the whole night was ahead, ready for her to make the most out of it. The music tried to carry her away, but Zowie urged herself to remember what she was there for. She would have fun, yes, but she also had a task for the night, one she would try her hardest to achieve it.

***

He should have never let her in. Orlando should have pushed Zowie into that cab, sent her home, and called William in the process instead of letting her take over the situation. Yet, Zowie had managed to turn the events into what suited her best, leaving no room for second opinions. Orlando didn't put the blame entirely on her, though. He was as guilty as she was, and now, as Zowie laughed a few meters away from him, her body swaying as she followed Elijah's lead, all his concerns were confirmed.

Zowie was having the time of her life. So were his colleagues. But Orlando... Orlando was sure that night would be one of the longest of his life. What had started out as a plan with nothing else in mind but the firm intention of relaxing had soon turned into something much different the moment Zowie smiled at him on the sidewalk.

It was his fault, though; solely his fault. Orlando knew it, and he found a perverse, almost masochistic pleasure in keeping that concept fresh in his mind. Had he been stronger, more determined, none of this would have happened. Zowie would be safe in her house instead of spending her time in a packed club, her hips grinding to a sensual rhythm he was finding most disturbing.

Had Orlando not let Zowie take over, the moistness of the air would have never got those loose, long strands of her hair clinging to her neck, to that skin that had taken on a tempting sheen under the light sweat that reflected in the blinking lights. And, above all, Orlando would have never been forced to witness how Elijah's hands confidently rolled down Zowie's body.

Orlando shook his head in disapproval. The certainty that he could do it so much better made him frown over his friend's clumsy attempts. Orlando could easily picture it. He would go slow, allowing his palms to sample every bit of the soft skin he found on the way, all the while smiling down at Zowie before his own lips played with her full ones, and...

The world froze around Orlando. His thoughts, his very graphic and gratifying thoughts had taken his mind down a path that became increasingly scary for him. Disturbed, he could barely believe the products of his imagination. Zowie was his friend! She was nothing but a young girl, fresh out of school, who tried as hard as she could to get herself in trouble. Orlando had a feeling that the longer she spent there, the closer to it she got.

And yet, as concerned as he was over Zowie's well-being, Orlando knew that wasn't what worried him the most. As the world slowly began to move around him once more, Orlando admitted defeat, knowing he couldn't hide the truth no matter how disturbing it was.

He felt attracted to Zowie. Which, in itself, wasn't entirely a surprise. She was a very attractive girl, confident, full of energy, and that was appealing to anyone. Including Elijah, considering the way his hands had _yet_ to leave her body, something she didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, Orlando wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that he was the only male in the entire club that, considering the way he felt for Zowie, forced himself to repress it.

Yet, what good could come out of letting those feelings come to life? Sure, Zowie was beautiful. Yes, a side of him urged Orlando to take Elijah's place and claim her as his own, but he couldn't. With a sigh, Orlando carefully brought those emotions back to the place they should have never escaped from. Zowie was his friend and colleague, and Orlando appreciated her far too much to ruin their friendship over a moment of insanity. He knew this moment would pass, just like his initial attraction had, and that their closeness, albeit platonic, would remain. No one said it would be easy, but he had to try nonetheless.

In the meantime, Orlando would make sure Zowie got home safe and unharmed, hiding the truth of her adventures from her father. If there was one good side to that whole matter, it was the fact that very few people knew about it. He would have to take the time to have a serious conversation with Billy and Dom, though. If Orlando wanted to watch Zowie's back, then he needed to make sure no one spoke a word about her presence there that night. Orlando sighed tiredly. He should have never let her convince him!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22.**

 

"I take it all turned out okay, then?"

The moment she spoke those words in a hushed whisper, Brooke shook her head. She could have very well thrown a welcoming party for Zowie, and her Nan would have still remained asleep. So much for the safety of having an adult at home, she mused.

“ _Okay?_ It was so much better than that, B!”

Although she too spoke in whispers, there was such a victorious smile on Zowie's lips that Brooke could see how hard it was for her to conceal her joy. Brooke herself smiled, happy and relieved that the night had come to an end, and that Zowie's risky plans had turned out well.

"Well, I'm just glad you made it here in one piece. I couldn't sleep wondering what I'd say to your parents if something went wrong!”

The fervent note in her friend's hiss made Zowie giggle.

“I told you nothing would go wrong, Brooke,” she murmured confidently while taking off her boots. “You'll have to trust me next time.”

“Next time?”

The look of absolute shock in Brooke's face made it very hard for Zowie to control her laughter.

“Ummm... I think I'll plan things a bit differently next time. I wouldn't want you to have a heart attack.”

With a roll of her eyes, Brooke led the way upstairs, Zowie close behind. Their bare feet thudded on the carpeted steps, and it wasn't until they were near the top that Zowie remembered the last barrier between her and a completely successful night. Stopping in her tracks, her foot hovering in the air, she turned to Brooke with an insecure look.

"Your Nan?"

Brooke dismissed her friend's concern with a shrug.

“Fast asleep. Haven't heard from her since ten,” she stated. However, before she took another step, Brooke turned on her heels with a tired look. “Actually, scratch that. I've _heard_ her indeed... snoring loud and clear from my room!"

Brooke's Nan might be asleep, but the girls controlled their giggles nonetheless; when it came to adult supervision, they could very well sleep through a thunderstorm, but could still hear someone tiptoeing down the corridor. With that in mind, the girls quietly walked past the guest room and soundlessly slid into Brooke's. Once inside, Zowie dropped her boots and purse, not really caring where they fell, before throwing herself on the spare bed, eyes closed and a dreamy smile playing on her lips.

"Oh, come on! You can't smile like that and expect me to just sit here and wait... spill, Zowie! Intrigue is killing me here!!"

Zowie's smile widened as she propped herself on her elbows, her blue eyes sparkling with a mix of mischief and wonder when they met Brooke's.

"It was amazing, B!” Zowie smiled conspiratorially for a moment before giving her voice a more dramatic tone. “Needless to say, Orlando wanted to send me home straight away. He even tried to get me into a cab! For a moment, I thought he was ready to call my dad and ruin everything."

Gasping in shock, Brooke plopped herself on the bed, right next to her friend. Then, wide-eyed, she waited for her friend's next words with bated breath.

"But how did you convince him, then? I mean, you obviously got into the club and..." There was such audacity and conspiracy in Zowie's grin that Brooke's words trailed off. “Uh-oh... what did you do?”

If anything, Zowie's grin widened, growing even more mysterious and unnerving. Fixing her eyes on her friend's, Zowie finally answered.

“Well, let's just say I had to be very, _very_ persuasive."

“Oh, God!”

Zowie couldn't help but laugh the moment Brooke hid her face in her palms, her voice showing every bit of the disbelief and shock she felt. That was one of the reasons why they got along so well, Zowie mused. On one hand, Brooke was the thinker, the one to consider all pros and cons before making a decision. In the meantime, Zowie was all actions and impulsiveness, rarely giving things a second thought. Still, they managed to balance each other out most of the time; while Brooke tried to make Zowie think things through before rushing headlong into anything, although unsuccessfully most of the times, the latter prompted her friend into being a bit more reckless on occasion. That night, however, it was clear Brooke didn't approve of a single one of Zowie's actions, like she had so clearly pointed out earlier. She still supported her though, and that was enough for Zowie.

"Well? Are you going to tell me anything at all, or are you playing mysterious tonight?" Brooke urged her, and the look on Zowie's face made her eyes widen in shock. "You didn't!"

"I didn't do _what_ , exactly?" Zowie played nonchalant, teasing her friend.

Giving her a stern look, Brooke grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest in anticipation. Then, putting on her sweetest tone, although her eyes pierced through her friend, Brooke added, "I swear, Zowie... If you don't tell me _every single thing_ that happened tonight, I'll call Orlando, and I don't give a damn if that embarrasses you or not!"

That was enough to convince Zowie.

"Alright, alright!" Admitting defeat, Zowie sat up. She initially tried to imitate Brooke's posture as her friend sat cross legged on the bed, but her mini skirt would have none of it. Choosing a much more ladylike posture, Zowie offered Brooke a secretive smile. “He wanted to send me home, right?”

Brooke rolled her eyes with frustration.

“Yes, that's _all_ you've talked about, Zowie.”

Knowing Brooke wouldn't accept any further delays, Zowie finally shared the events of the night.

“To make a long story short, I looked at Orlando in the eye and offered him a deal,” she said, catching Brooke's undivided attention. “If the bouncer found out my license was a fake, I'd leave, but if he didn't, Orlando would stop trying to send me home. And since the matter called for extreme measures, well... let's just say I was a little flirty with him. Determined too, and that was a mix he obviously couldn't say no to!"

Brooke's eyes grew wider than Zowie had ever thought possible at her revelation.

"Did you...?"

"Did I what?"

"Kiss him?"

Zowie's sigh was tinted with sadness.

"I didn't." Defeat only tinted Zowie's expression for a fleeting second before enthusiasm replaced it soon after. "I'm sure it won't take long, though. I just know that,” determination glowed in Zowie's face. “He wanted it, Brooke! You should have seen the way he looked at me while I danced with Lij when Orlando thought I wasn't looking. He wants me, B... just as much as I want him. I know that. "

Brooke smiled hoping Zowie didn't notice how much effort it demanded to sketch that simple gesture. Not having been there to see it for herself, she couldn't deny that first attraction Zowie had seen in Orlando's eyes months ago. However, after all that time, Brooke knew Orlando's feelings for Zowie surely couldn't be as strong as they had been once, not if the incident with the blonde after the football final meant anything. Besides, Zowie could easily be reading too much into his behaviour. Of course, Zowie was very pretty, and Orlando was, after all, nothing but a normal guy. Any normal guy finding himself in the receiving end of Zowie's attention would most likely say yes to anything she asked of him.

Problem was, Brooke didn't have the courage to tell Zowie what she felt in her heart, and by the looks of it, she would move to Dunedin without having mentioned a single word. Torn inside, Brooke felt horrible at her inability to share her concerns with Zowie while, at the same time, feared that their treasured friendship would be destroyed if she ever decided to mention it. It would be a waste to throw years of friendship away over a guy that would leave the country in a year, probably without a single look back. If anything, that was the only thing to bring some relief to Brooke's mind: that, eventually, Orlando would leave, and since Zowie had to keep true to her word of attending University once her gap year and shooting were over, she would be tied down to one place, unable to pull any crazy antics like following Orlando halfway around the world. Or so she hoped, anyway.

Hiding a yawn behind her hand, Zowie stretched her arms over her head before standing up. Grabbing the small bag containing her toiletries, she then pointed to the door.

"I have to get rid of this before I fall asleep," she said, pointing her face. "Otherwise, your Nan will know exactly what I've been up to the moment she sees me. Are you coming?"

Feeling the tension of the night finally kicking in, Brooke nodded, silently following her friend into the bathroom. Dutifully, Zowie erased all traces of make up from her face while filling her friend in on every single detail. Once again she pleaded with Brooke to join her, and once again, Brooke declined the offer. It was bad enough to hide it from everyone when Zowie did it, she said, without having to slip out of the house unnoticed and then come back as if nothing had happened. Knowing exactly what kind of trouble Zowie could expect if her parents ever found out and, especially, if they found out the reason behind her actions, she had no interest in meeting the same fate.

Brooke shook her head. Now that Zowie had got that crazy urge of breaking the law out of her system, Brooke hoped her friend wouldn't do anything crazy before she left for Dunedin in a few weeks. However, knowing Zowie the way she did, it was impossible to know what she would do next. She had just crossed the first of many barriers, and Brooke prayed Zowie didn't feel like crossing any more of them any time soon.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23.**

 

Night had long since fallen over Wellington, and the warm air of that early January night filtered into Zowie's room through the open window. Outside, Evans Bay, with street lights dotting its outline, invited her to admire its beauty even in the dark. Yet, no matter how much Zowie loved the sight, she paid little attention to it that night. Instead, she sat on her bed, a myriad of pictures laid out before her, patiently waiting for her to offer them some resemblance of order. Not an easy task to do, though, for they covered the innumerable moments she and Brooke had shared during the past five years.

It was then, as memories flowed back to her mind, that realisation finally dawned on Zowie. Brooke was leaving Wellington. Their secondary school years were over, and they were now on the brink of adulthood.

Wow.

There was no way Zowie could pledge ignorance, not when she had been waiting for school to be over pretty much from the moment it began. Nonetheless, as that highly anticipated moment approached, other things had been on Zowie's mind. Like Orlando, for example. Now, as Zowie tried to pick the best pictures to make a scrapbook for Brooke, one that portrayed all the moments they had shared, she suddenly realised that her friend wouldn't be ten minutes away any more. In fact, Brooke would be on a completely different island, and that was the furthest apart they had been, except for family vacations. The thought was scary and intimidating.

What would happen now? They wouldn't be able to simply pick up the phone and have one of those long conversations they were so fond of anymore. That comfort zone they had lived in for years, knowing that the other wasn't more than a phone call away, was ending, and Zowie's stomach knotted.

Her eyes stung with the familiar burning of tears, but she refused to give in to them. Their friendship wouldn't end just because they were on different islands! Zowie was sure that, should she call Brooke and share her concerns with her, her friend would tell her exactly how silly it was to fear such a thing. They would always be there for each other, even it not physically. Besides, Dunedin wasn't on the other side of the world, and Zowie could always visit her friend without too much trouble. Anxiety still lingered, though. Zowie, however, did her best to ignore it, throwing herself in the task that had kept her busy the last couple of days instead.

After failing in her search for the ideal scrapbook, Zowie had realised that the best way to make it as special as she wanted it to be was to make it herself. One trip to the city centre later, Zowie was left with bags full of stationary, colourful papers, and all those things she needed to make her best friend the most special goodbye present ever. Having chosen all the items she wanted to add to it, Zowie knew there was no use in delaying. She had to start now.

Insecurity glowed in her eyes, though, as she realised the amount of work laying ahead. Yet, that feeling disappeared almost as quickly as it came. With a determined look on her face, Zowie pushed all negativity from her mind as she grabbed the colourful scrapbook that rested on her bedside table. Gathering markers and glue, Zowie set out to complete as much of the scrapbook as she could in one night.

In the long hours that followed, Zowie added countless pictures to the scrapbook: field trips, memorable retreats in Eketahuna, birthdays, even their Leavers' Ball. Zowie made sure to write a comment for each picture, sharing an impression, or the memory of a funny situation they had found themselves in. Then, the moment a particular picture showed up, Zowie couldn't help her giggles, and she knew she would probably need a complete page to share all the things that came to mind when staring at it.

Back in early December, Zowie had overheard William talking about Peter needing female extras for a particular scene. Not wanting to miss the chance, she had quickly jumped in, begging her dad to let her participate and, while they were at it, bring Brooke along. Not once did she ask what kind of scene they would be shooting; all the girls knew was that it had to involve some spectacular gown that would make them look amazing.

Of course, it turned out nothing like they had planned.

Instead of coming out of the wardrobe trailer as elegant Elven maidens, Zowie and Brooke had been horrified to find out that not only no fairy-like gown was involved, but that the only costume they would be wearing would be the heavy one of an Uruk-hai. Shocked, the girls had had little chance to slip away unnoticed and, before long, they found themselves on a green field, fake swords in hand, and ready to charge after the actors that made the Fellowship.

Standing there under the bright sun, Zowie hadn't been able to stop murmuring curse words under her breath. She should have asked first, but no, she just never learned! Had she paid more attention, Zowie would have found out that Peter needed women to act as Uruk-hais because, for some reason she simply didn't care enough about at that particular moment, they dealt better with the heavy costumes and the December heat than men. So, instead of impressing Orlando like she had hoped, Zowie had had to stand in front of him as he giggled in that particular way of his that she loved, but that became incredible annoying the moment he discovered the identity of the woman inside the beastly creature.

Back then, she had known there was no way an Uruk-hai could catch Legolas without screwing up the scene badly, but in that moment, all Zowie wanted to do, once Peter shouted _“Action!”_ , was to chase after Orlando, bring him down, and have him rolling in the dirt just to teach him a lesson. The thought became especially attractive the moment he called out for his friends, asking them to join him and see who the monster was.

On the other hand, Brooke was delighted with the whole situation, pondering whether she should add that little experience to her resume or not. Zowie, despite her wounded pride and initial frustration, had too been able to enjoy it once in the swing of things. Once the scene was done and the masks were off, the girls, with messed hair and black paint smeared around the eyes so the camera wouldn't notice the human under the beast, had posed for William. That same picture was the one Zowie added to the scrapbook in that moment, along with a footnote that read _"Just in case people don't believe you've acted in Rings, here's the evidence. The hottest Uruk-hais in town!"_

Thinking of the movies brought Orlando back to Zowie's mind. He, like many others, had gone back home for the holiday season that had just passed, and she missed him terribly. While Elijah stayed in touch mostly through emails, Orlando, whose relationship with computers wasn't the best, had remained silent which prompted Zowie to come up with a plan to end that uncomfortable situation. Taking advantage of the festive season, and of the fact that many relatives lived overseas, relatives that her parents would contact at one point or another, Zowie had determined that no one would notice an extra international call when the bill came.

Choosing the right timing for that wasn't easy, though. With a family snooping around, finding the time to have a private conversation with Orlando proved to be hell. With the considerable time difference making things even more complicated, Zowie had ended up making the desired phone call well past midnight, praying for Orlando to be home.

The moment he picked up the phone, Zowie's heart had skipped a beat. Happy and relaxed, Orlando had quickly told her how much he missed her, making her want to jump up and down in joy. In return, Zowie had told him that she was really looking forward to sharing the experience of shooting the Battle of Helm's Deep with him, an adventure she had made sure not to miss. Once again, Peter needed extras. This time, however, Zowie had made sure she didn't end up as an Uruk-hai, landing a role of an Elven warrior instead. She doubted she would ever be shown on screen, but not even that would make her say no to the offer.

Sometime during that chat, Orlando had subtly shared his concern regarding her nightly adventures, hoping Zowie didn't feel like doing that again anytime soon. Yet, since that didn't suit her plans, Zowie had decided to play dumb instead. She knew Orlando meant well, but since she planned to join the guys for a night out the moment they set foot in Wellington, she had thought it best not to mention it.

Zowie sighed wistfully, wondering when would her plans would have the outcome she was working so hard for. It was hard to remain hopeful some times, but even when she felt at her worst, all Zowie needed to do was remember the look in Orlando's eyes the day they met, and everything made sense again. She refused to think of the inevitable passing of time, focusing on making her dream come true instead. She and Orlando would be together, Zowie's stubborn side cried, no matter how many more rules she had to break in the process.

The next time Zowie glanced at her watch, her eyes glowed with surprise. Lost in her job and her musings, she hadn't realised how late it actually was. While she didn't really have anything urgent to do the morning after, Zowie had definitely hoped for a jog to enjoy the summer morning. Her agenda would definitely be altered now.

Doubtful, Zowie wondered whether she would be able to finish the scrapbook that night, but a quick look around her told her the project was nowhere near completion. Besides, Brooke deserved a perfect present, something made with love and care and not rushed in the late hours of the night. Yawning, Zowie cleared the mess and, after a quick trip to the bathroom, she slipped in her bed. As she waited for sleep to come, she busied herself by coming up with new ideas for what was left of the scrapbook.

However, as drowsiness took over, her mind drifted, conjuring images of Orlando and her in the most varied situations. They were nothing like the real thing Zowie knew she would experience once they were together, but in the meantime, she would have to make do with them. They certainly weren't the most pleasing, but still, those images were enough to lull Zowie to sleep with a contented smile on her face.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24.**

 

The moment had finally arrived. Now, as she stood at the airport, Zowie fought the tears that persistently burned in her eyes, their hot sting impossible to ignore.

No matter how prepared Zowie thought she was, Brooke leaving still felt surreal to her. Sure, her friend was pursuing her dream, and Zowie was extremely happy and excited for her, but still... she knew there was a place in her heart that no one would be able to fill. Brooke had been there every day for the past several years, and thinking that she wouldn't be able to grab her bicycle and ride the short distance that separated their houses anymore brought a chill to Zowie's heart. They had imagined that moment many times before, but Zowie was sure neither she nor Brooke had anticipated the atmosphere of sadness that now surrounded it.

Nonetheless, there was something else, something akin to a vision of the future that Zowie refused to acknowledge. She wouldn't think of the moment when she would stand in that same airport, bidding farewell to Orlando. She couldn't afford it at the time.

Yet, her mind, rebellious and stubborn, still conjured images that catered to a masochistic side Zowie didn't know she possessed. The image of Orlando in the distance, waving goodbye to her, could have easily broken Zowie's determination of keeping her tears at bay. It was out of sheer stubbornness that she managed to keep her outburst in check, though. On one hand, she didn't want to ruin Brooke's special day. On the other, Zowie didn't want her parents, who were there to see Brooke off as well, to find out about her fears. Could she talk to them without bringing Orlando into the conversation? Could her parents understand her feelings for him? The answer to both questions was no. No use in even trying to talk about her fears with them, then.

"Are you sure you have everything you need? Have you got your ticket, your license, the University papers?"

Brooke rolled her eyes at her mum's persistence, and the quick look she threw in Zowie's direction made her grin in spite of the conflictive emotions inside her. As if Brooke wasn't nervous enough on her own! She didn't need Paige's own anxiety to make it all worse!

"Yes, mum," Brooke answered, her voice hinting that her patience was running thin. "I've already checked everything _three_ times. At home, in the car, and here. I think I haven't left anything behind."

When Paige failed to mention the rather acid tone in her daughter's voice, Zowie knew she was much too worried to even notice it. Instead, she went on and on about what Brooke should do in case she realised something was missing. However, as soon as she found an opening, Brooke quickly ran away, wanting to escape the tidal wave of parental advise coming her way.

"She's going to drive me insane before I do it myself," she whispered tiredly, with a hint of resignation. Then, with blue eyes that shone with a mix of expectation and fear, Brooke looked up at Zowie. "I promise I'll call you the minute I'm settled, okay? I don't care if my mum finds out I called you before calling her."

Zowie smiled, knowing she wouldn't be able to feign a laughter that didn't come across as fake and contrived. Still holding on to the thought of making the day as special for Brooke as it could be, Zowie sketched a little grin, raised her index finger and indicating to her friend to wait. Then, reaching for the bag she had left resting on the seat next to hers, Zowie produced a big package wrapped in a bright red, satiny paper which she promptly handed to her best friend.

"What's this?"

Zowie grinned at Brooke's question.

“Just open it. I know you won't be able to wait until you're in the plane!”

Smiling, her eyes suddenly free of all traces of nervousness and anxiety, Brooke weighed the heavy package, studying its proportions, before tearing the paper open. Once the present was unveiled, Brooke gasped in surprise as her hand reverently traced the picture of her and Zowie that graced the cover. It was probably the most recent picture of them, taken at the beach not too long ago, while they smiled brightly at the camera.

"It's a scrapbook," Zowie whispered, not sure what to expect from her friend's reaction. Brooke stared at her present with an indecipherable look, and Zowie's heart thundered in her chest. What if Brooke didn't like it? What if she thought it was too much? "I... I thought it'd be a nice idea... I guess I didn't want you to forget all the things we've done together."

As Zowie awkwardly explained the reasons behind her present, Brooke opened the book, quickly scanning the first pages. She didn't need to look further to notice the love and effort Zowie had put into this job. Everything had been made from scratch just for her, and she could see Zowie's touch everywhere: from the choice of colours, to her handwriting, and through all the things she had included. Movie tickets with dates and the title of the movie they had seen together, pictures of Brooke's plays at St. Mary's, all had been chosen with great care and love.

Yet, the minute she saw a photocopy of a ticket that read _Silverchair_ in big, bold letters, followed by a picture of Zowie and Brooke with the band's stage behind them, Brooke couldn't help but giggle. She could see Zowie had parted ways with a million things that meant the world to her, but the Silverchair ticket... Zowie would rather die than not have it anywhere near her after all the hard work it had demanded from her to convince her parents to let her attend that concert a year ago.

Tucking the book under her arm, Brooke then caught Zowie by surprise when she pulled her close for a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's the best present anyone has ever given me, Zow... it's great!" She spoke those words in her friend's ear, and as they progressed, Brooke could feel the tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

"I just wanted you to remember everything," Zowie murmured, teary-eyed. "I left a few blank pages at the end, though... We'll have more adventures the minute you come back, you hear me?"

Brooke looked up at Zowie, finding her friend's eyes shining with unshed tears.

"We will, I promise you that! I'll be back before you even have the chance to miss me, Zowie... You'll have so much fun here, you won't even have time to think about me."

"What? Are you mad? This won't be the same without you."

Brooke smiled at her friend's offended tone while wiping her tears. Hugging Zowie once more, she spoke with a carefully low tone, not wanting any curious ears to hear her words.

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself, Zow... don't do anything silly, okay? Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Looking down at her with a cheeky grin, Zowie asked.

"Well, what's your limit, anyway?"

When Zowie's smile vanished the tears from her eyes, Brooke knew her comment had had the effect she had intended. Yet, as she hugged her once again, Brooke couldn't shake the feeling of dread that spiralled inside her. What would Zowie do without her to hold her back in some way? Would she use that driver's license to get herself into some kind of trouble she wouldn't be able to handle? Brooke sighed, hoping that, in some way, Zowie would get the silent message she was trying to send her way. Sure, she had tried a light joke at the end so it wouldn't come across that severe, but the idea was there nonetheless It _had_ to reach Zowie's heart, making her see the wrong in her actions before it was too late.

It wasn't long until Brooke's flight was announced, the female voice coming out loud and clear from the speakers. The round of goodbyes was long, almost too long for Zowie, but when she finally got to give her friend one last hug, she couldn't stop the tears that flowed from her eyes.

She knew it was silly to feel that way, that they lived in a world with phones and emails to keep them in touch, but one thing was for sure: it would take a long time until she adjusted to not having Brooke around. Saying goodbye was one thing Zowie had never been good at, and that moment proved it. Once more, prophetical images of her in that same spot, saying goodbye to the man she loved, tortured her. A strong sob wracked her body, and the only thing that kept her from breaking down was the arm her dad posed on her shoulders.

It wasn't easy to see Brooke waving goodbye from the gate before disappearing, just like it wasn't easy to hear her parents' preaching in the car, telling her that she had no reason to feel so sad. As if Zowie didn't know that already! But it didn't matter how much she tried to send them a message by rolling her eyes or sighing louder than usual, neither William nor Noemie seemed to get it.

When the family finally arrived home, Zowie wasted no time. She was the first to jump out of the car, and the first to open the front door. There was no drama, though, no slammed doors or shouting; Zowie just gave Noemie a little smile and then softly closed her room's door behind her, hoping all problems would be left outside. The emotions of the day had exhausted her, and all Zowie wanted to do was to lay down and, hopefully, sleep for a bit. She knew that, when she woke up, Brooke would still be away, and that the thought of Orlando leaving too would still linger, but in that moment, Zowie needed time.

As she begged God to bless her with some much needed oblivion, Zowie tried to focus on what little positivity she could find at the time. Brooke had promised to call her as soon as she landed, and as for Orlando, he would be on set the morning after to welcome her with a smile. It seemed like very little consolation, but Zowie clung to that tiny glimmer of hope anyway. They wouldn't disappear from her life in the blink of an eye, she mused, hiding her head under the pillow. Two of the most important people in her life simply couldn't leave her alone without a single look back. Not without her going insane in the process.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25.**

 

"Is it ever going to end?"

"Probably. But knowing him, I'm sure Peter's going to drag us all through the mud and give us a severe case of pneumonia before we earn the right to say, _'yes, I survived Helm's Deep'_."

Acid dripped from Zowie's words, and Orlando couldn't help but smile at her sarcastic remark. However, no matter how entertaining her comments could be, he couldn't ignore the battering of the wind that promised to make that night's shooting, at least, problematic. Stomping his feet against the rocky ground below, he snuggled up in his warm jacket, forlornly expecting for its warmth to magically extend to his frozen feet. He didn't foresee it happening any time soon, though; at least, not for as long as he, Zowie, and many others waited for Peter to finally shout _“Action!”_ that night.

In Orlando's mind, shooting Helm's Deep was an unbelievable experience that usually made up for whatever inconveniences they went through. Yes, it got colder and colder as fall approached, but it wasn't so bad as long as Orlando wore a jacket in between takes. The rain that the scene demanded, however, and that was poured over their defenceless heads every single night, was a completely different story. No matter how cool looking his Elf costume could be, it still wasn't waterproof, and his boots, although they managed to keep his feet dry, did nothing to keep them warm.

A quick look in Zowie's direction told Orlando her luck hadn't been much better. Snuggled up in a big jacket that covered her Elvish costume, she still looked every bit as cold as Orlando himself felt, and his concern rose. Zowie should have been at home, sleeping in her warm bed, instead of standing on a cold and damp hillside exposed to the elements!

In his defence, it had to be said that Orlando had indeed tried to warn her, but he should have known better than to reason with her when her mind was set. Nothing fazed Zowie when in that state, not even the idea of living on a night time schedule for the three months that Helm's Deep would last. If anything, she had patiently sat as Orlando shared his reasoning with her, but the moment he was done, Zowie had merely shaken her head, smiling at him in a rather patronising way that had rendered him speechless.

Now, as he gave her an attentive look out of the corner of his eye, Orlando couldn't help but feel admiration towards her. Zowie never complained. If anything, she faced every challenge with a determination that Orlando was sure he completely lacked at her age. Not once during the time they had spent shooting the Battle of Helm's Deep had Zowie been in a bad mood or given a sharp answer. Sure, there had been some crankiness in the beginning, but then again, who hadn't felt that way? Their sleep patterns had been severely altered, yet once in the swing of things, Orlando had noticed that Zowie was always one of the first people to be ready every night.

Yet, no matter how determined and dedicated Zowie could naturally be, Orlando imagined there was another reason why she acted that way. On one hand, there was no arguing how excited she was about participating in the movies. On the other hand, however, Orlando had the feeling Zowie dreaded giving a single person the chance to complain about her work, and he had a good idea why.

Being William's daughter, Zowie had access to the production that not many people had. While all the other extras had been contacted and hired through more formal terms, her participation hadn't demanded any of that. That benefit, nonetheless, brought an extra responsibility along, one that Zowie was very aware of. That was why, when not busy with her job as an extra, Zowie made sure to be wherever she was needed, helping everyone here and there.

Truth to be told, Orlando had the feeling that Zowie worked harder than any of the other extras to earn everyone's respect, and while he admired her for that, he also hoped she didn't end up exhausting herself in the process. More than once Orlando had felt like asking her to take a night off, but knowing Zowie, he knew how useless that would be.

Suddenly, a loud chanting brought Orlando back to reality. With a quick look around, he found the other extras, the one that played the menacing Uruk-hais, singing something he couldn't quite understand. They made quite a big group, and the minute they started stomping their feet, Orlando had a pretty good idea of what it would feel like to have them attacking their fortress. It was a good thing to know that, no matter how intimidating they looked in the distance, they were just as wet, cold, and tired as Orlando himself was. And, probably, Zowie too, he mused, eyeing the big cup of coffee she used to warm her hands in between sips.

"You cold?"

It took her a few moments to respond to his question, but once she did, Zowie gave Orlando an apologetic look, as if excusing herself for her mind being miles away. Smiling, she shook her head, but her face contorted into a disgusted pout the minute a strand of the long wig she was wearing stuck to her face.

"How on Earth do you put up with this every single day, Orlando? It's so damn annoying!" She complained, her blue eyes blazing with frustration. The wig seemed to have a mind of its own, and as wet as it was, it clung to her jacket simply refusing to let go. When she looked up at him for support with an aggravated expression, Orlando couldn't repress a giggle.

"Well, what can I say... some of us, you know, carry our wig with style and glamour. Others do their best, but never quite succeed. That's the sad and bitter truth, Zow."

"Ha, ha, ha."

While Zowie tried to appear mad, the façade didn't last long; Orlando's smile was so unrepentant, she couldn't hold it against him.

The minute his attention shifted elsewhere, Zowie seized the opportunity, staring up at him with eyes full of admiration. How could Peter's people turn Orlando into someone completely different from his own self? Even after all those months, Zowie often caught herself trying to comprehend the way Orlando's physical appearance was altered when in his Legolas' costume. It was like having a completely different person beside her, one that talked like Orlando, acted like Orlando, but that also looked absolutely different.

Nonetheless, no matter how attractive and impressive Legolas could be in his blond, Elvish glory, Zowie still preferred the dark-haired, dark-eyed Orlando. That was the man she loved. The blond one, the one that lately only came out at night, made Zowie think of some sort of adventure, something that spiced things up a bit. And that distraction, during the gruesome shooting, was more than welcome.

How long had it been since Helm's Deep began? As her eyes diverted to the noisy Uruk-hais below, Zowie's mind drifted to that first night weeks ago. That night, no one had been bothered by the fake rain, or the fact that their work hours always started around midnight. Excitement ran high, and it still did, but coming out late at night and going back home before the sun was high in the sky... that kind of life was taking its toll on everyone. It was in moments like those when people took a step back, looked around, and admired the crazy whirlwind they were a part of. At least Zowie did, and every time she did, she felt a little bit more lost.

How couldn't she? Everything about the production was big, and having had no contact with anything like that before, she wasn't sure what to expect. When she was told that shooting Helm's Deep would take just as long, if not longer, than most normal movies, Zowie had been surprised and shocked. It was simply and absolutely insane, and while Zowie had trouble grasping the size of Peter's project, she was glad she had put her foot down and participated in it. Missing an experience like that was completely out of the question.

Just like missing any other time she could share with Orlando – that was something Zowie couldn't allow. She remembered very well when, while in England and over the phone, Orlando had hinted that he would feel more relieved if Zowie stayed at home during the weekends; at least, until she was eighteen and truly legal to do anything she wanted to. It pleased her to know that Orlando cared deeply for her, and something inside her told her that maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to share her with anyone else, a thought that always brought a smile to her face. Yet, no matter how good his intentions could be, Zowie still intended to use her license as much as she could until she had her own legal one.

The birthdays of the two actors she was closest to had given Zowie the perfect excuse to put her license to use. And, what was even better, it had also given her the chance to test Orlando, pushing him, as discreetly as she could, into realising what she knew had been in his heart all along.

When Orlando turned twenty-two on January 13th, Zowie would have easily thrown him a party that would have been the talk of the town. However, with Helm's Deep around the corner, all her plans had been quickly shelved. Instead of the huge celebration she had had in mind, Zowie had to content herself with a quick visit to Orlando's place on her way to WETA, where her dad was training the new extras.

She had made sure, however, to come bearing gifts she hoped Orlando enjoyed. For one, the cake she had personally baked for him had been more than welcomed, Zowie thought with a grin. As for the other present, it had demanded much thought since she wanted it to be both special and personal. In the end, Zowie had chosen to compile a CD for him, one that included songs Orlando loved, others she thought he would enjoy, and others that reminded her of moments they had shared.

When getting to that category, one of the first songs Zowie had included was Lenny Kravitz's _“American Woman”._ It was the first song they had ever danced to together, and it was a moment she would never forget. Even if Orlando's hands hadn't touched her at all, Zowie would always remember the feeling of dancing close to him, of their bodies occasionally bumping into each other in the crowded dance floor.

Then, on a whim, Zowie had also included Britney Spears' _“Baby One More Time”_ , hoping it reminded Orlando of that time in his car, when, while listening to that song on the radio, she had discussed the possibility of having a school uniform like the one the singer wore in the video. Zowie would never forget, for as long as she lived, the lustful glow Orlando's eyes had taken on at the sight of her exposed legs, nor how he had panicked, as if afraid to lose control. If he remembered that, and remembered the feelings that had awakened inside him just by listening to that song... then Zowie would be satisfied.

By the time Elijah turned nineteen on January 28th, Zowie had already decided that, considering the guys were planning to get together the following Sunday to celebrate both birthdays, she might as well join them. Had she not needed to keep it a secret, it would have been a thousand times better. However, knowing what Orlando thought of her escapades, Zowie had considered that keeping her plans to herself would be the wisest thing to do.

Repeating her actions from the previous time, Zowie had only made herself seen that night when it was much too late to be sent back home. Needless to say, Orlando hadn't been pleased, but had eventually given in nonetheless.

Still, Zowie had behaved. Seeing as she was completely uninterested in any other guys, she had stuck to her friends all night, not giving them a chance to complain. In addition, and to make things even more interesting, Orlando had loomed near Zowie all night, giving nasty looks to those guys who dared to set foot near her. She grinned at the thought. The moment he had thrown an arm around her waist, giving a rather persistent guy a murderous look in the process, Zowie had known it was only a matter of time until he realised how much he loved her.

Now, as she looked up at him, Zowie knew she was on track. She would have loved for things to move along a little faster, but when thoughts like that clouded her mind, Zowie made sure to remind herself that desperation wouldn't take her anywhere. Orlando wasn't leaving any time soon, and now, looking back in time, she felt a bit silly for fearing something like that would happen when Brooke left. As long as they spent time together, Zowie knew she had hope.

A groan suddenly caught her by surprise. Looking up at Orlando, Zowie saw him rolling his eyes, and when she gave him a confused look, his answer was to simply point upwards. Zowie, however, had little time to react; before she could ask him what was going on, big, heavy, and above all, cold rain drops began to fall on their heads. Zowie groaned, and when her gesture was mirrored by Orlando, they couldn't help but laugh. Yes, this was definitely another night at Helm's Deep!

Giving her a quick smile, Orlando walked away, taking the rain as his cue to find his mark. Zowie, smiling as he walked away, stored his warmth and thoughts of him for future reference, knowing she would need them in that long night. Then, letting out a loud sigh, she joined the other extras. She didn't hurry, though. What was the point, anyway? She could run away from the rain as much as she wanted to in that moment, but would still be exposed to it for hours and hours to come. Zowie shook her head. The things she got herself into...!


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26.**

 

The path Zowie was walking up that moment, the one that took her to the walls of Helm's Deep built in Dry Creek Quarry, was the same one she had walked every night for the past two months. It was impossible to remember exactly how many times she had climbed her way up that dirt path, just like she couldn't possibly predict how many more times she would do the exact same thing in the future. How long had William said was left of Helm's Deep? Another month, at least? In the daily emails they exchanged, Brooke couldn't believe Zowie's enthusiasm hadn't diminished one bit. In fact, Brooke had emphatically labelled her as crazy in her latest email, telling Zowie that _"living like a vampire is obviously killing your common sense!”_.

Zowie grinned, picturing the big, bold, bright red capital letters Brooke had used to transmit her message. Yes, many adjectives related to the word 'mad' could easily be added to a description of her, but not even _that_ would make Zowie regret being a part of the project. Even with the fake rain and the increasingly cold atmosphere, Zowie was having the time of her life, and she knew she would treasure those memories forever.

She could have never imagined, ten months ago, how much joy and adventure the movies would bring to her life. So much had happened in that time! For instance, Zowie could have never predicted she would meet someone like Orlando, nor how madly she would fall for him. Neither would she have imagined she would put University on hold, or that she would get to meet so many interesting people that she could learn so much from. She was taking advantage of it nonetheless, eagerly soaking up all that she could absorb.

On her way up, Zowie absently waved at some of the other extras, her mind busy with plans for the following day. How many times did a person turn eighteen, after all? Only once, of course, and now that she was on the brink of it, Zowie was determined to make the most of it. No more fake licenses, no more sneaking out and lying to her parents. Starting on March 18th, Zowie would be an adult, and she planned to live that status to the fullest.

Zowie was so caught up on daydreaming of all the things she would do as soon as the doors of adulthood opened up for her that she didn't hear the steps creeping up behind her until the loud choir of singing voices made her jump in her spot. Spinning on her heels with her heart thundering with a mix of fear and surprise, it took her a few seconds until the shocked expression vanished from her face, replaced by a slow smile that soon took over her whole face with its brightness.

The group wasn't too big: William, Orlando, Viggo, Liv, and those extras Zowie was closer to. Standing before her, they all sang an enthusiastic rendition of Happy Birthday, ending it with a set of loud cheers, exuberant whistling and much clapping of hands. At the sight of the cake her dad held in his hands, Zowie's heart swelled with joy. They had remembered! Overwhelmed, she felt for an instant the treacherous burning of tears in her eyes, but soon pushed them away. She was _not_ going to cry!

"Thank you, guys!" Zowie exclaimed, a bright smile on her lips before a confused glow shone in her eyes. "Isn't it  a bit early, though?"

The look on her face made William smile. Shaking his head, he then closed the distance between them.

"What? Are you telling me you weren't counting the seconds to your birthday?" William faked an aggravated look before a proud smile broke through. "It's 12:01, Zowie. Happy birthday!"

There was such excitement in William's words, that Zowie couldn't repress the laughter that bubbled inside her, begging for a way out. Could the day begin in an any more special way? The people before her meant so much to her, in so many different ways, that she gave each of them a heartfelt thank you, hoping they would understand how much their simple gesture meant to her.

"Blow the candle, will you?" William complained, bringing Zowie out of her reverie. The effect he was hoping to achieve, however, was lost the minute his smile widened to unknown proportions. "I want to eat some of this cake your mum made before anyone notices I've left some unfinished business down there."

At his revelation, Zowie blinked in surprise. William leaving something unfinished behind was surprising enough, but nowhere near as much as having that cake with him all along without her knowing.

"Wait... did mum bake this?” Her words trailed off. “I mean... how...?”

The sly smile on William's face was enough of an answer.

"A man always has his secrets, Zowie."

Astonishment filled her. So much for thinking she knew her father inside out!

Nevertheless, as surprised as she was, Zowie didn't allow the feeling to linger. Shaking her head, she then focused her attention on the single red candle before closing her eyes. Did she really need to think what her birthday wish would be? Not really, Zowie mused, not when said wish stood only a few steps away from her wearing an Elvish costume. Sketching a secretive smile, Zowie energetically blew the candle out, eliciting another round of cheering. The hugging part followed suit, and soon after claiming his right to be the first to hug the birthday girl, William took Zowie in his arms for a tight hug.

"Happy birthday, love," he murmured lovingly in her ear before adding. "I know you're really excited about this, but turning eighteen doesn't mean you'll start going out as you please, you hear me?"

"Dad!"

Zowie's aggravated exclamation got everyone laughing. William, satisfied after having sneaked in a warning he hadn't really been too sure how to voice, took the cake from Liv's hands and began to slice it.

It was funny how, even though she sometimes couldn't see their faces, Zowie could still recognise every single person who greeted her just by the way they hugged her. Liv's hug was tight, yet delicate. Viggo, on the other hand, picked Zowie up in his strong arms and swung her around, making her squeal. However, the one hug Zowie welcomed more than anyone else's came from a pair of strong, yet gentle arms that slid around her waist in a way that made her shiver with delight.

God, it felt so good! Orlando's arms held the precise combination of gentleness and strength to make her weak at the knees. Eagerly, Zowie absorbed his warmth and his scent, hoping both could permeate every inch of her body. Could that moment, if Zowie begged hard enough, last forever? Not likely, she admitted ruefully. Still, she tightened the hold of her arms around his neck, though, wanting to make the most out of that brief instant.

And indeed, it was much too brief for Zowie's liking. She wished for a way to keep Orlando by her side, but of all the possibilities that came to mind, none seemed suitable with so many witnesses around. Admitting defeat, she looked up at him with an adoring look.

"Thank you, Orlando."

His smile was bright, and Zowie's heart skipped a beat when Orlando, taking her by surprise, kissed her cheek as his hands confidently found their own path to her waist.

"Eighteen at last,” Orlando murmured, disbelief clear in his voice. Soon, however, an unmistakable mischief took over as he whispered, “Any adventures you might be jumping into that I should be aware of?”

Zowie grinned. Yes, there were many adventures she could think of that Orlando could participate in! Arching her eyebrow, her blue eyes sparkled with a cheeky glint.

"Believe me... you'll be the first to know.”

Orlando's soft laugh made Zowie smile, but the low, raspy tone of his voice as he murmured in her ear sent pleasant shivers down her spine.

"Just make sure it's not illegal, Zow... I don't think I could handle any more of that!”

Zowie's smile was so devilish that Orlando couldn't help but think that what she had in mind went far beyond a simple night out. The thought alone was so suggestive that he had a hard time vanishing it from his brain. Shaking his head, he gave her a smile he hoped wasn't too bland as he tried to regain control of his scattered thoughts.

Zowie didn't seem to notice, though, not as other people soon claimed her attention. Before long, their impromptu celebration was over, and everyone made it back to their positions. Licking the remnants of chocolate fudge off her index finger with gusto, Zowie softly nudged Orlando in the ribs, hoping to catch his attention.

"Ready to go back to work, blondie?"

Orlando gave her a sided look that made Zowie's smile grow wider... and more evil as well.

"Let me tell you that I do _not_ appreciate being called that, Zowie," Orlando responded formally, his fists on his hips as he stared down at her with a serious look. "We blonds have a heart too."

Then, as if seeking to add more effect to his not-so-offended speech, Orlando's hand pushed his blond wig behind his shoulder with an affected gesture that made Zowie giggle so hard, her stomach hurt.

"Besides," Orlando added. "It's not like you're not a blond yourself right now."

"Oh, it's only temporary," Zowie said with a sly smile on her lips. "It's like taking that side of me out for a walk, you know? Letting her roam free and see how much damage she can cause."

Orlando laughed heartily. Zowie was a good sparring partner, whether with swords or just words, but either way, it was always a pleasure to take her up on a challenge. He could have easily pointed out that, although a darker shade, Zowie's real hair was actually blonde, but decided against it. Only God knew what she would come up with in return to that comment...

Their easy banter didn't end until they took up their positions on the wall of Helm's Deep, overlooking what was supposed to be a massive gathering of Uruk-hais. However, not a single beast stood below, replaced instead by a crew eager to get things going. Zowie arched an eyebrow. Everything seemed so surreal that she couldn't imagine how Peter would turn everything into complete, cohesive movies. She, for instance, wouldn't know where to begin.

There wasn't much time left for pondering, Zowie discovered, not as she and the other extras prepared for the triumphal entry of the Elvish army. It wasn't a particularly hard scene, not with the army marching into the fortress in a thoroughly rehearsed formation, but Zowie still dreaded, nonetheless, to be the one person to screw up the Elvish perfection. What if, instead of turning left at Peter's command, she turned right? Or what if she did it just a second too late, ruining the entire effect?

So many possibilities clouded her mind that Zowie found it nearly impossible to relax. There was so much at stake there... not only did she want to impress Orlando, she also wanted everyone to see that she wasn't there just because William and Peter were friends. She had no desire of becoming an actress and everyone knew that, but Zowie still wanted to show her colleagues that she was, at least, a good extra. How hard could it be to stand in a perfectly straight line, especially when she didn't need to do anything else?

Easier said than done, Zowie mused as she stood in her spot in the Elvish formation. It was her eighteenth birthday, and starting it off by ruining the scene was _not_ in her plans. That's why she put herself in God's hands; some divine intervention was needed, and she hoped all those years of Catholic schools and Sunday masses would finally pay back before she ruined everything.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27.**

 

"Alright, Zowie... time to make a wish."

When a waiter set a large birthday cake before her, Zowie turned to her dad with a rather confused smile.

"You mean _another_ one?"

William merely shrugged, his happy smile never faltering as the eighteen candles cast moving shadows on his face.

"Let's pretend last night's didn't count."

The teasing hint in William's voice made Zowie's smile grow wider. Well, if she got two birthday wishes instead of one, she wouldn't be the one to complain! All help was welcome, and much like the previous night, the minute Orlando's face flashed before her eyes, Zowie knew exactly what she longed for with all her heart.

Her energetically blowing the candles out earned Zowie a round of applause from the many relatives gathered around her. Zowie's immediate family, uncles, cousins, and both her grandmothers, they all had joined her for that special day. With so many loved ones around, however, Zowie still couldn't help but miss those who weren't there.

Sadness tugged at Zowie's heart when thinking of Brooke and Orlando. Had they been there, the evening could have been labelled as perfect. But they weren't, and while she knew they had their reasons, Zowie still felt a little gloom falling on her at their absence. Brooke had always been there for her, and as for Orlando, there wasn't a single moment Zowie didn't wish to have him by her side.

Had she ever met someone as bewitching as Orlando? Every time he entered her thoughts, nothing else stood a chance. And that night, despite the joy around her, it wasn't any different. Oblivious to everything and everyone, Zowie wracked her brain, trying to find the single crack in the thin wall that separated them. Answers evaded her, though, and every time Zowie felt she had found a way to reignite the sparkle of interest in Orlando's eyes, he managed to bring all her attempts to a big, catastrophic failure.

How many hours had Zowie spent dissecting each and every single one of Orlando's actions, trying to find any hint that the interest was still there? She couldn't possibly count them, but every time her code breaking skills failed, Zowie couldn't help but feel desperate. How could it be that, no matter what she did, Orlando still thought of her as nothing but a friend? What was she doing so wrong that everything she tried, failed miserably?

Yet, it was precisely in those moments when Zowie's determination surfaced, making her realise that, no matter what she did, she couldn't give up. It wouldn't be over until Orlando boarded the plane that would definitely take him away from her, and until then, Zowie wouldn't stop fighting. No matter what the cost.

Just as Zowie's thoughts began to flirt with melancholy, William's voice came to the rescue. Sighing with relief, Zowie felt she had never loved her dad as much as she did that instant, if only for dragging her back from the edge of depression she lingered at.

"Time to open the presents!"

Zowie couldn't help but sketch a smile at her father's excitement. William was so easy to read some times! Her turning eighteen was obviously very important to him, and Zowie imagined his enthusiasm was only dampened by one thing: the idea of her wanting to make the most out of her status as a legal adult.

With so many family members included in the celebration, Zowie was surprised by the amount of presents she got. Touched by the fact that they had remembered those things she liked the most, or that they had simply thought of her on that day, she gave each and every one of them a heartfelt thank you. The biggest shock, however, came when both her grandmothers, having joined efforts to give her something special on such an important day, handed her two small velvet boxes. Puzzled, and even before checking what was inside, Zowie thanked them with a smile and a hug. Susannah, William's mother, smiled at her in amusement, a sparkle in the blue eyes that matched her granddaughter's.

"How can you even say that? You have no idea what is inside!” Pointing to the boxes Zowie had placed on the table before her, she prompted, "Go on, open them."

Instinctively, Zowie knew that an order coming from Nan Susannah was _not_ to be disobeyed, no matter how lightly she put it. Giving both women a smile, she opened the largest box first, a surprised gasp leaving her lips when she saw what lay inside.

"Nan, Gramma... it's so beautiful! You shouldn't have!"

Zowie's surprise could have never been faked. Reverently, she picked the delicate gold chain with gentle fingers, gasping when the clear, translucent pendant reflected the light. At that, Zowie swallowed hard, feeling uneasy by the sole thought of what that stone could be. What if she lost it? She would never be able to look at her grandmothers in the eye again if that ever happened.

With Zowie loss for words, Noemie asked the question her daughter couldn't voice.

"Is that a... a diamond?" Noemie's voice showed every bit of the surprise Zowie was sure coloured her own face.

Yvonne, Noemie's mother, smiled at their reaction.

"A girl only turns eighteen once in her life, Noemie. You didn't expect us to give Zowie anything less, did you?"

Zowie's head spun when Gramma confirmed her suspicions. With a doubtful finger, she touched the small stone, discovering that her feelings for it hadn't diminished one bit: it still intimidated the hell out of her. Stunned, she looked up to meet her grandmothers' expectant faces.

"I'm so... shocked! I love it, don't get me wrong, I just... I guess I need time to adjust to the idea of owning something like this," Zowie admitted, frankness showing in her face. "Thank you, Gramma, Nan... you're the best!"

Susannah smiled, but she wasn't going to be deterred by Zowie's words. Taking the necklace from her hands, she locked her gaze with her granddaughter's.

"Well, there is only one way to get used to it," Susannah pointed out meaningfully. Then, without giving Zowie a chance to say anything, she swiftly locked the necklace around the girl's neck. "It looks beautiful on you, Zowie,” Nan said, admiring the glow of the necklace against the girl's tanned skin. “Wear it proud.”

Astonished as she was by the surprise she had just been given, there was little Zowie could do but nod. Unaware of her feelings, William handed her the smaller box, and her shock reached epic levels the moment Zowie opened it to find two diamond studs glowing back at her. This time, she stared up at her grandmothers with such a surprised expression, both women laughed.

"This is too much!"

"Nonsense," Yvonne said, patting her hand. "Happy birthday, love," she added with a smile.

Zowie was rendered speechless, and if she found her way back to her seat, it was only because her dad led her there. Yet, the moment she noticed the excited sparkle in William's eyes, Zowie collapsed in her seat, knowing that whatever he had in mind, it would certainly shock her. Problem was, while Zowie was utterly delighted about the gifts, she had the feeling she might not live to reach her twenties if that continued.

"There's one present left, Zowie."

The mysterious hint in William's voice got Zowie's heart skipping a beat. Yes, he was definitely much too easy to read some times! Nonetheless, nothing could have prepared Zowie for what came next.

As she stared up at him, William produced a large mahogany box out of nowhere and, with a bright smile, handed it to her in a silent offer. Dumbstruck, Zowie's blue eyes alternatively flew from Noemie's to William's, unable to comply her dad's quiet order as she tried to understand what was going on.

"This is from me and dad," Noemie finally explained. "We hope you like it and that you put it to good use."

For a moment, a sparkle of wild excitement burnt in Zowie's heart. Could it be that they had got her a car? That would explain her mum's request of putting the present to good use! Zowie tried to reign in those wild hopes before they ran too far, though. As far as she knew, Noemie had yet to change her mind about Zowie getting her first car herself.

However, when the mahogany glistened under the light, she couldn't help but feel curiosity and interest growing inside her and vanishing everything else. With a thankful smile, Zowie slowly lifted the lid of the box, and what she found resting on the deep, rich black velvet left her breathless with shock.

"Oh my God!"

Zowie's reverent whisper brought a smile to her parents' faces. Yet, hardly noticing anything but the masterpiece before her, Zowie carefully, almost lovingly, wrapped her hand around the grip of the breathtaking sword waiting inside the box.

Astonished, Zowie discovered that the fit was perfect, and that the leather wrapped around the grip was gentle, yet firm in her hand. Then, an expert examination erased whatever doubts still lingered: the sword was perfect. From the silver pommel to the point of the live double-edged blade, Zowie could find nothing but signs of a careful, delicate blacksmith's work on the longsword in her hand.

"Come on, pick it up!" William urged her.

Zowie wasn't going to say no to that! Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she expertly took the sword out of the box, growing accustomed to the blade's weight and feel in her hand. It was heavy, yes, heavier than her older sword, but Zowie's grip showed expertise when holding it high. Around forty inches long, it made an impressive sight that made her relatives study her with wide, fearful eyes. And they were right, for its weight, which Zowie estimated to be around two pounds, meant a true danger in hands less experienced than hers.

"It's... it's perfect!” She murmured. “It feels great... like custom made for me."

"It is," Noemie confirmed. "We actually used your old sword as a model. Not that it was easy to do without you finding out, of course... I can think of at least one or two times when you almost caught us."

As Noemie's eyes sparkled with amusement, Zowie felt her own simply couldn't grow any wider. Now _that_ was a shock! So much for thinking she knew everything that happened in her house!

Before she could recover, however, William approached her. Then, with that smile that had yet to leave his face, he pointed to the pommel.

"Check this out," he said, his finger brushing the small medallion engraved in the centre of the pommel. Engrossed as she was in other aspects of the sword, that detail had been missed by Zowie, but now that she studied it, the careful carving only increased her bewilderment. "Do you know what this is?"

Zowie nodded, letting out a stunned exclamation.

"It's the Hart's coat of arms, the one grandpa used to talk about so much!"

Zowie was sure her amazement would never end. With admiration glowing in her blue eyes, she studied the family emblem, the one her grandfather had been so proud of. The silver medallion showed no colours, but the bend shield, with its three fleur de lis, the helmet, and the small crowned heart were clearly seen. The way her grandfather had made sure all his children and grandchildren were acquainted with the family arms, Zowie was sure he would have been boasting with pride by seeing it adorning Zowie's sword.

Yet, something else caught her eye. Right under the coat of arms, the flowery engraving of a single letter made her gasp.

"Wait... is that a Z?"

William laughed at her obvious shock.

"Told you, Zowie," he said, a proud smile on his lips. "Custom made for you, love. Happy birthday!"

It was then that all surprise left Zowie. With a wide smile, probably the happiest of her life, she carefully placed the sword back in its box before throwing her arms around her parents. Although Zowie had the feeling she would never be able to thank them enough for such an invaluable present, she still made sure to let them know how delighted she was.

And Zowie was so happy, that she hugged pretty much everyone in attendance, making them laugh at her exuberance. Their joy seeped inside her, and she wished for that day to never end. It had truly been the most perfect day in her entire life, and she knew the memories of it wouldn't leave her for as long as she lived. Just like the presents, which Zowie intended to keep forever by her side.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28.**

 

The group that entered the indoor karting facilities was a boisterous one, filled with excitement. Happy and relaxed as they were, they did nothing to hide it; after all, they intended to have a great day both belatedly celebrating Zowie's birthday and blowing some steam off in the races in the process.

Arm in arm, Zowie and Elijah entered the hall, Orlando's attention fixed on their backs with a scowl. Not that they noticed it; at least, not as Elijah diligently told Zowie all about the boys' latest night out. With great attention to detail, Elijah made sure to paint the clearest picture to Zowie, one that made Dominic's prophecy from some time ago become a reality: that, given enough alcohol, Orlando could do _anything_.

"Come on!" Orlando suddenly begged Viggo. "Help me out here!"

Sadly, Viggo was more on Elijah's and Zowie's side than Orlando's, so, with an evil smile, he simply raised his hands pledging innocence.

"Face it, elf boy," Dominic stated matter-of-factly. "You just get too easy when you're drunk."

Billy, who was also a part of the group, nodded his support.

"I'd toughen up if I were you, man. Who knows... one morning you might wake up in someone's bed... someone _scary_ , and we won't be there to help you. Or see it, which would be even worse!"

When Elijah and Zowie burst into giggles, Orlando shot them a nasty look. Yes, he was very fond of them, but in that instant, they were at the very bottom of his list of favourite people.

"I thought we were here to do some _karting_ ," Orlando complained, sounding aggravated. "Not to make fun of my supposed weaknesses!"

"But your weaknesses are endearing, Orlando,” Zowie said, patting his arm reassuringly. “I've never seen anyone nearly as adorable as you are when you're drunk."

Orlando snorted.

"You've never seen anyone drunk. Period."

"Well, that could be right," she said, after realising she really didn't have any other experiences to confront that argument with. "But that doesn't make your... ummm... _low tolerance_ to alcohol any less endearing, though."

With a roll of his eyes, Orlando shrugged his jacket off with a tired sigh.

"Just when I thought I'd _finally_ get the chance to give you your birthday present...”

At that, Zowie's eyes widened and, as her feet glued her to her spot, she jolted Elijah back when he tried to resume walking.

"Wait... you said _present_?" Curious, she turned her undivided attention to Orlando. Then, when he stared at her with a purposely blank look, not giving anything away, Zowie slowly disengaged herself from Elijah's arm and went to stand by Orlando's side. “Umm... guys? Maybe we should leave this be for a while. I mean, my siblings are about to arrive and you don't want to give them a bad example, do you?”

She should have expected that reaction. Loud booing, very graphic exclamations that could have made anyone blush... Zowie got them all. Nonetheless, as curious as she was to know what her present was, she was willing to stick to Orlando's side and not give in, no matter what. Yet, the moment she noticed the naughty glint in Elijah's eyes, Zowie knew she wasn't going to get away with it _that_ easily.

"So predictable, Zowie... so damn predictable!” He exclaimed. “You just can't resist Orlando.”

The blush Elijah's words brought to her cheeks made her skin burn and, for a moment, Zowie wanted nothing but to vanish into the air.

She didn't, of course.

When her embarrassment subsided, however, allowing her to gather enough courage to look up at Elijah, Zowie made sure to shoot him a killer look. She knew he only meant to tease, but Zowie knew right there and then that, the moment she hit back, she would do it with a vengeance. If Elijah was smart, he would read the threat in her eyes.

But he didn't. Instead of looking impressed, regretful, or at the very least surprised, Elijah merely blinked before turning his back on her, a clear sign that he wasn't the least bit afraid. Damn him!

"I'm _so_ going to kill Lij as soon as I get the chance," Zowie murmured, her words catching Orlando's attention. "Feel like joining in?"

"Sure!” Orlando answered. “Just give me a call and I'll be there."

His enthusiasm made her grin, but the mental picture of Orlando trying to bring justice on his own brought a smile to her lips. No matter how hard she tried, Zowie just couldn't picture him in that situation.

Trying to erase that image from her brain before her giggles made Orlando see she was actually laughing _at_ him, instead of _with_ him, Zowie thought it was the perfect occasion to bring the conversation back to a topic mentioned just seconds ago.

"Orlando?"

"Yes?"

When he turned to her, Zowie gave him her brightest, most angelical smile.

"Can I have my present now?"

At first, Orlando rolled his eyes, but he couldn't control the smile her words brought to his face. Then, sketching a grin that was just as angelical as Zowie's, he leaned forward until he was face to face with her.

"No."

The change in Zowie's face at his answer, the dramatic fluctuation between joy and discontent, hit Orlando with an unexpected power. Guilt flooded him as her blue eyes suddenly darkened, the spark missing in them. However, before he could do or say anything, Zowie's disappointment morphed into a determination that made Orlando sigh with relief.

Trying to appear as if his negativity hadn't affected her at all, Zowie put on a nonchalant face. Fine, then. As much as she loved Orlando, she wasn't going to beg. In fact, Zowie vowed to herself to forget all about her present until Orlando mentioned it on his own. And even then, she would _still_ be uninterested.

"Oh, okay. Fine, then," Zowie's voice was carefully void of any inflection that could give Orlando any sign of how her temper began to rise. Trying her hardest not to even glance in his direction, she added. "I'll be with Elijah if you need me."

Orlando smiled. He knew very well that underneath that façade of nonchalance, Zowie's anger was most likely brewing, waiting to erupt. He knew he shouldn't be amused by it, but after being mercilessly teased for the last fifteen minutes or so, mainly by Zowie, Orlando considered himself entitled to some teasing of his own. Nonetheless, before Zowie could get even more worked up, he slid an arm around her shoulders, stopping her hasty departure.

"Alright, alright," pulling her close, Orlando looked down at her. "Want your present now?"

Zowie shrugged, her eyes diverting elsewhere in a way she hoped reflected her disinterest in his offer. Inside her, however, curiosity overpowered any other emotion. Did Orlando even need to ask? Of course she was dying to see his present! She just wasn't going to give in _that_ easily.

Noticing the knowing grin on Orlando's lips, she decided to ignore it for the time being. She would eventually have the upper hand, and when she did... Zowie smiled, many possibilities coming to mind. Still, as uninterested as she pretended to be, Zowie still caught sight, out of the corner of her eye, of Orlando's hand producing a small envelope made of bright green gift paper out of his pocket.

"Come on, take it," the intrigued glow in her eyes, the one she couldn't disguise, made Orlando smile. "I'm a complete disaster when it comes to picking gifts, I know. But I'm a guy, I can't help it! I'm sorry it took me so long to finally get you anything... I know it's probably lousy and useless too, but I hope you like it, anyway."

His repentant words, along with the apologetic tone in his voice, managed to thaw the weak layer of ice Zowie had been trying hard to build up around her heart. Still, not wanting to admit defeat, she tried to regain an uninterested posture as she let the contents of the envelope fall on her palm.

"It's nowhere near as impressive as a sword, but I thought you might like it."

Zowie knew Orlando had just said something. Problem was, she had stopped listening to him the moment his present stared back at her.

It was a very simple bracelet, with two thin leather straps and a paua shell nestled in the middle that could be found at any gift shop in New Zealand. However, to Zowie's eyes, it was the most precious present ever, just because Orlando had given it to her. The spiral shaped shell, with its swirling greens, blues, and purples, was a replica, albeit smaller, of the one Orlando wore around his neck, and that alone had a deep meaning to Zowie. Yes, it could have very well been a coincidence, but her heart chose to believe that it was a sign, that fate was finally lending her a hand and that the similarity hadn't gone entirely unnoticed.

Looking up at him, Zowie let her smile take over, all pretences of anger long gone. Then, throwing her arms around Orlando, she hugged him tight, posing a kiss on his cheek that made him giggle in her ear.

"I take it as you like it, then."

"Like it? Understatement of the year, Orlando!" His laughter made her heart soar, and although Zowie could have spent the entire day in his arms, she took a step back, handing the bracelet to Orlando with a smile. "Help me tie it up?"

The moment his long, nimble fingers enclosed around her delicate wrist, Zowie felt a shiver coursing down her spine. His hand was warm, and the power she felt in it, the same one Orlando held under a tight control to keep himself from hurting her in any way, amazed her.

There where their skin met, Zowie felt a soft tingle, an electricity that tuned her body up to his. It was a foreign feeling, but a pleasant one, and it sent a thrill up and down her being. What could she do to prolong it? And more importantly, could she make Orlando feel the same way?

Focused on what Orlando made her feel, Zowie didn't notice much until he swiftly secured the bracelet around her wrist. Then, when he looked down at her with a beaming smile, Zowie felt her heart was about to burst with happiness and love. It was such a simple gesture, yet to Zowie it felt as if they had just sealed their bond, their love. With a wide smile, she laced her arms around his neck, thanking him over and over.

"Zowie, it's nothing!" Orlando complained with a smile. "It's not like it's such a great present or anything."

Rolling her eyes, Zowie then gave him an admonishing look.

“It's my present and you chose it for me. That's enough.”

When Orlando shook his head, Zowie smiled, her heart fluttering in her chest. Was it possible to love him any more than she already did? In that precise moment, Zowie felt like her heart would explode with the emotions he brought to life within her. All the months of waiting suddenly didn't matter anymore, because in that instant, Zowie knew she would eventually win Orlando's heart. That was what the bracelet meant, and its connection to his pendant made it obvious that he wanted something that linked them together.

Hooking her arm with his, Zowie tried to enjoy Orlando's proximity for as long as she could; with her siblings arriving at any moment, she knew her quality time with Orlando would be severely cut short. While Zowie trusted her siblings with all her heart, she still didn't want them to witness anything that bothered them, or that could be passed on to their parents. Not that Jared would do that; even if he still hadn't quite forgiven Orlando for the football final incident, he was civil enough to be in the same room with him. Jewell, however, could prove to be something completely different.

Her little sister was curious by nature, and what worried Zowie the most, was not completely able to dodge the worst of Noemie's subtle cross-examination. In order to avoid any disasters, Zowie would have to be very careful concerning what was said or done in front of Jewell. Not a nice way to spend what was supposed to be a relaxing afternoon, but well... it could have been worse.

"I told you so, Dom."

Something in Elijah's voice as they approached him told Zowie he wasn't done teasing her. Bracing herself for the worst, she clung to Orlando's arm, steeling herself for what was surely to come.

"Yeah... you're right," Dom admitted, the hint of an evil smile on his lips.

"What are you two guys talking about?" Zowie asked, unable to restrain her curiosity.

With a serious look on his face, Elijah answered.

"I was telling Dom that, basically, all it takes to sway your loyalty is a pretty face. Not that I can see why you'd choose Orlando over any of us attractive men here, though. He's like... ew!"

Her shock lasted only a second. Then, giving Elijah a look that told him exactly how unamused she was by his comment, Zowie clung to Orlando's arm.

"Face it, Lij. You're cute in a... well... _Hobbit_ kind of way, but that's it."

Not the least bothered by her words, Elijah gave Zowie an unrepentant smile.

"Sure, if you like squeaky clean Elves."

"Hey! I'm here, remember? And I have ears, too," Orlando exclaimed suddenly. Then, adopting a smug look, he added, "Besides, Zowie's right. You might be cute for a Hobbit, Lij, but no match for an Elf."

Had they not all been as close as they were, those teasing comments would have been enough to start, at the very least, an argument. However, as accustomed as they were to spending every day together, that way of interacting was, sometimes, the only way to keep things going when they got too much.

"An Elf? Sure, if you want to be with a guy whose hair is better than yours, then fine."

Viggo's comment took them by surprise. Glancing over his shoulder, Orlando gave him a look that was a mix of shock and offence. _Now_ he participated in the discussion?

"What is this? _'Punch Legolas day'_ or something?"

"Cool! Can we punch you?" Elijah asked excitedly, making Zowie laugh.

At that, Orlando rolled his eyes, simply appalled by his friends' nonsense. Yet, before he could add anything, Jared and Jewell barged in, smiles on their faces.

"Hi, guys!" Jared greeted them all with a smile and a collective wave of his hand, as Jewell, feeling a bit shier, simply smiled, a step behind her brother. Turning to Zowie, Jared's smile took on a conspiring shade that went unnoticed to her. "Close your eyes, Zow. We have a surprise for you."

Stunned, Zowie's eyes went from her brother to her sister, as if trying to figure out what was going on.

"A surprise? Jay, what are you talking about?"

"Wouldn't it be one lousy surprise if I told you?” He pointed out with a roll of his eyes.

Zowie couldn't help but imitate her brother's gesture, even if curiosity slowly awoke inside her. Sighing, she closed her eyes, but that didn't seem to be enough for Jared.

"Could you please cover her eyes?" He addressed to someone. "I _know_ she'll take a peek if we give her a chance."

Tapping her foot impatiently and hoping Jared got the message, Zowie was surprised when she felt a pair of warm hands covering her eyes.

"No peeking, you hear me? I don't want your brother to be mad at me again."

The moment Orlando whispered those words in her ear, Zowie felt a shiver coursing through her body. His warmth, his closeness, the way his breath tickled her ear, they all combined to make the most varied emotions swirl within her.

The sound of hushed voices reached her ears, but Zowie couldn't quite make out what they were saying. She heard a door opening and closing, and a few seconds later, Jared's voice instructing Orlando to uncover her eyes. At that, Zowie sighed inwardly. Whatever it was, it better be good and worth the inconvenience.

Finally free of all restraint, Zowie blinked a few times, her eyes a bit blurry with the slight pressure Orlando had applied to them.

"Okay, so what's the big sur-," the sight her eyes met the second she looked up made Zowie gape in shock. Right before her, with a cheeky sparkle in her blue eyes, her best friend stared back at her. "Brooke!"

The girl laughed at Zowie's joy, but had no time for anything else except steady herself before her friend threw her arms around her.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had an exam tomorrow and that you couldn't make it!" Or at least, that was what Zowie had been told, but considering the evidence before her, she wasn't so sure about it anymore.

Hugging her tight, Brooke sketched an unrepentant grin.

“There was never an exam. It was just something we came up with so you wouldn't suspect a thing,” Brooke said with a smile. “When Jules heard you wanted to invite me, she contacted me and we thought it'd be nice to give you a surprise. We came up with the exam idea, and the rest is history,” she explained. Then, giving Zowie a mischievous look, Brooke added. “You didn't think I'd miss your eighteenth birthday, did you?”

Zowie's smile widened at her friend's words.

“I'm glad you didn't, because turning eighteen wouldn't have been the same without you!”

And Zowie wasn't lying. Not having Brooke around had been the only cloud darkening a perfect day, but now that she was there, nothing could top that. Well, maybe beating Elijah at a kart race, but that could wait. Right now, she would celebrate her eighteenth birthday with her siblings and her friends, and have the best day of her life.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29.**

****

_"I hope your wish came true_

_mine betrayed me"_

**_Sonata Arctica - Tallullah_ **

 

"You're a beautiful, beautiful girl, Zowie... have I told you that... before?"

Zowie was about to roll her eyes in frustration when the meaning of Orlando's slurred words hit her. Suddenly, it didn't matter that, lost in his drunken stupor, he had spent most of the ride home mumbling incoherently. The minute his otherwise nonsensical speech suddenly made more sense than ever before, and Orlando started telling Zowie exactly what she had been hoping to hear, all condemning of his actions left her.

Wasn't there a saying that preached about drunk men and the truth? Could it be that Orlando, all barriers down in his state, finally let his true feelings show? Excitement bubbled inside her, and for long seconds, Zowie debated with herself on whether to further inquire him or not. Yet, like many other times before, Zowie threw all caution to the wind in the end. She _had_ to ask!

"Am I?"

With a lopsided smile, Orlando clumsily scooted closer to her in the back seat.

"Yes, you are."

At his statement, Zowie held her breath, her wide blue eyes fixed on him. A voice inside her begged her to hold her excitement back, reminding her that Orlando was drunk, but Zowie deafened herself to it. He seemed so conscious, so suddenly sober, that she couldn't help inching closer to him.

 _“Yes!"_ Zowie's mind exclaimed, overjoyed by the turn of events. Orlando was going to kiss her! Zowie could barely hold herself back. Even if he was much too slow for her liking, the second she felt his breath tickling her lips, Zowie knew the long wait was over. Closing her eyes, she eagerly anticipated the magic touch of Orlando's lips on hers.

But... what took him so long? When seconds ticked by and Zowie simply couldn't wait any longer, she hesitantly opened her eyes, hoping to find Orlando's lips only a whisper away from hers. What she found, however, was the most disheartening sight she could have ever imagined.

Before her, Orlando clumsily tried to regain some balance after the taxi driver had taken a sharp turn, his hands blindly reaching out for anything that could serve as hold. Drowned in disbelief, Zowie blinked dumbly as her heart shattered inside her. Her dream scene, the one that would have put the most romantic of movies to shame, met its cruel end in the hands of the most disappointing sight ever. Her hopes, now destroyed, crashed loudly at her feet as Orlando disgracefully fought for some much needed balance.

Realisation was horrible, and it cut Zowie deep. She should have known, she thought to herself with a frustrated roll of her eyes. She should have known better than to think Orlando was capable of thinking straight in the state he was in. Zowie knew very well how quickly and easily alcohol overtook him and, since he was clearly drunk out of his mind, she should have never let her hopes build so high.

Yet, knowing that didn't make her disappointment lessen one bit, and the stab of pain and disillusion was clearly there, nagging her in a way that couldn't be ignored. They had been so close... so damn close! Zowie had felt Orlando's breath on her skin, had seen his lips parting, eagerly waiting to meet hers... it couldn’t be pure silliness on her part, she couldn't have imagined that!

For the first time in those long months, Orlando had given her a sign. Drunken men always spoke the truth, didn't they? It couldn't just be the alcohol talking, making her believe something that wasn't there. Orlando had to mean it! That thought alone was enough to keep Zowie sane, if only for the time being. Now that she knew that the attraction was still there, making Orlando admit the truth couldn't be so hard. Zowie knew how good they could be together... she only needed to make him see that.

With that determination in mind, Zowie offered Orlando a helping hand, one he missed twice before finally taking it with a strength that belied his state. She knew his house was around the corner and without even casting a glance in his direction, that Orlando needed whatever help he could get to exit the taxi. Once again, Zowie rolled her eyes. She should have accepted Viggo's offer and let him take Orlando home. Problem was, Viggo hadn't been in much better shape himself, and if she threw Orlando's drunken confession into the equation, well... it was well worth the inconvenience.

Giving the driver the last directions, a frown darkened Zowie's features as she paid for the ride. How was she supposed to carry Orlando inside on her own? Sure, he was thin, but his build was deceitful, and all it took was a simple glance for her to understand two very important things. One, that there was no way she could carry Orlando inside on her own without them ending up on a heap on the sidewalk. And two, that her plans of getting back home as soon as possible had vanished in the air. On his own, Orlando wouldn't make it past the sidewalk, let alone inside, and Zowie sighed in resignation. He owed her one; a big, big one.

"I'm so sorry, but could you please help me carry him out?” Her voice couldn't have been any more humble as she asked the driver for help. “He's probably passed out and I'm afraid I can't do it on my own."

The man's tired sigh didn't go unnoticed by Zowie. His thoughts, however, remained private, and a second later he nodded, coming to her rescue. The wave of relief and embarrassment that hit her at that was so strong that Zowie vowed to herself to make Orlando pay for all the inconvenience.

In the meantime, and much to her surprise, getting Orlando out of the taxi wasn't as hard as she had anticipated. Even if his stability was rather precarious, it still managed to reignite the flicker of hope in Zowie's heart. Her reasoning was simple: if Orlando was sober enough to stand up and walk, perhaps he wasn't that drunk after all, and his confession hadn't been just the alcohol talking. Maybe there was a bigger truth in his words than she had initially credited him for. 

When they reached the front door and Orlando insisted on opening it himself, Zowie's heart skipped a beat. Sure, it took him at least four tries for the key to find its way inside the lock, but Orlando did it all on his own, and that further proved her point. What if he wasn't that drunk, and he was only using the alcohol as a façade to voice those words he wouldn't dare to say otherwise? Zowie's heart soared, the sadness of the kiss fiasco long forgotten.

Feeling more optimistic than she had since getting in that taxi with Orlando, Zowie hardly noticed the effort of helping him inside anymore. With the hint of a smile tickling her lips, she led the driver to the nearest sofa where Orlando dropped himself with an ungracious grunt. Gratitude growing inside, Zowie knew that the least she could do was offer the man a generous tip for the assistance, but when she tried to do precisely that, he shook his head with a knowing smile.

"It's okay, miss. Just make sure you leave the blinds open tonight and make enough noise tomorrow morning. That'll teach him a lesson!"

Surprised at first, Zowie quickly recovered, and with a conspiring smile, she escorted him to the door. Well, she wouldn't be there in the morning to bang pots and pans all over the place, but she might take the time to leave the blinds open, just in case. Not that any of that would ever teach Orlando the lesson he deserved anyway.

Grinning, she turned in his direction, studying his thin body sprawled on the sofa. With his head thrown back and his eyes closed, Zowie couldn't tell whether Orlando was asleep or simply passed out, but one thing was for sure: he would greatly regret having handed her so much ammunition on a silver platter that night.

Pondering what to do next, Zowie stood in front of Orlando's inactive form. She couldn't leave him in that state, could she? Problem was, she couldn't stay and play the nurse either, not without William going insane in the process. Knowing him, her dad would very well come barging in if he ever found out about her plans.

Exhaling a sigh full of resignation, Zowie made up her mind. If she wanted to both please her parents _and_ help Orlando, then there was no time to waste. So, posing a hand on Orlando's shoulder, she gave him a gentle nudge, anxiously waiting for any sort of response.

None came, but Zowie had to admit she wasn't entirely surprised. Thinking her actions might have been much too gentle for the amount of alcohol clouding Orlando's brain, she tried harder, receiving only a somewhat angry grunt in return.

At that, her aggravated gasp echoed in the silent room. How could he even begin to consider being angry, when she was doing her best to help him? Anger boiled inside her. Fine, then, Zowie mused. She would give it one more try. If Orlando didn't wake up, then she would walk away without a single look back.

With those thoughts in mind, and using all her strength, Zowie grabbed Orlando by the shoulders to give him a good, sharp shake as she called out his name. Sure she would still get no response, Zowie jumped back and almost fell on top of the coffee table when Orlando, surprised and a little scared, woke up with a start. Luckily for her, Zowie managed to avoid disaster in the very last second. A little unstable on her high heels, she held onto Orlando's outstretched arms, regaining balance just as her body began to give in to gravity.

"What? What?"

"It's okay, Orlando!” Zowie promptly answered, lowering herself until their eyes were at the same level. “You're just drunk out of your mind, and I'm trying to take you to your room. Could you please help me out a little?"

The way Orlando's eyes took long seconds to focus on hers made Zowie shake her head. She wasn't sure he even recognised her, or understood what she was saying, and had she not loved him half as much as she did, Zowie would have left Orlando there without a single look back.

"The things I do for you," Zowie muttered as she helped Orlando to his feet. Sliding an arm around his waist, she then looked up with a concerned look. "You can make it upstairs, can't you? I'd really, _really_ hate it if we fell down the stairs... Peter wouldn't like it if you broke a leg." As she spoke those words, a thought crossed her mind making Zowie frown. "Not to mention how _pleased_ my dad would be."

For a second, Orlando stared down at her as if he could make absolutely no sense out of the flow of words coming from her, a reaction that made Zowie close her eyes with frustration. _'Remember that you love him, remember that you love him,'_ she chanted to herself.

Yet, surprisingly enough, Orlando then nodded in response. His steps were wobbly and insecure, but strong enough to give Zowie hope. Suddenly reinvigorated, she led him across the living room and up the stairs, mindful of each step they took.

Reaching the top floor in one piece, and with a rather cooperative Orlando, meant a triumph to Zowie. Had she not held him so tight by her side, she would have even allowed herself a little victory dance; yet, with his wobbly shape relying on her for stability, there wasn't much she could do but sketch a breathless smile.

"Okay, here we go," Zowie murmured as she and Orlando took a step inside his bedroom.

Reaching out for the switch, she turned the lights on before throwing a quick look around. Other than the t-shirt completely forgotten at the foot of the bed, Zowie had to admit the room was tidy, probably even more so than she had expected. However, no matter how badly Zowie wanted to acquaint herself with that part of Orlando, the latter had a completely different idea in mind.

Having spotted the bed in the distance, Orlando seemed to decide that it was his target, for he, dragging Zowie along, quickly crossed the room in its direction. He wasted no time on unceremoniously throwing himself on the mattress, and Zowie barely avoided collapsing right along with him. The minute she realised what she was doing, though, Zowie could have kicked herself. Wasn't that what she had been after all along? If she carried on wasting opportunities like that, she might as well give up altogether!

Laying ungracefully on his bed, Orlando mumbled something under his breath Zowie couldn't quite make out. Then, ignorant of the pair of very curious eyes that studied him unabashedly, his hands fumbled with his belt in an attempt to get rid of his clothes. Yet, the task seemed to be too complicated for his state, and Orlando finally dropped his hands at his sides in surrender.

At that, a voice; a tiny, shy, little voice spoke somewhere in Zowie's mind, prompting her to leave the room and offer Orlando some privacy... a voice that was, of course, ignored completely. Fixed on her spot, Zowie's wide eyes remained on Orlando's still form, darting back and forth wanting to make the most out of the sight presented to her. Of course there had been times when she had caught him in far less clothes than that on set, but the fact that Zowie could study Orlando, observe him as openly as she desired, constituted a difference in itself. Why stop herself, then, when there was no one around to condemn her actions?

Her eyes, curious and eager, admired Orlando's body. Would it hurt if Zowie stayed there, taking care of him? Or would it all end in a disaster once her parents found out? A sudden image of William walking in to find Zowie in Orlando's arms flashed through her mind, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

"Zow..."

Orlando's soft voice brought her back to reality. Meeting his face under the bright lights, a questioning spark lit her eyes.

"Yes?"

Once again, his hands fumbled with the belt, achieving nothing in the process.

"Can you... help me?"

Zowie's eyes grew wide, her lips parting to form a silent, shocked O. Had she heard right? And, above all, had she interpreted Orlando's words right, or was her brain making things up that would only embarrass her to a point of no return later?

Standing still on her spot, Zowie fixed her eyes on Orlando's, desperately looking for a sign that told her that he hadn't actually asked her to help him take his pants off. Not that she felt very shy about it, oh no... Zowie just wanted to make sure she had heard right before doing something that might end up ruining everything between them. While Orlando thought she was beautiful, and while he was highly intoxicated, the odds of him not noticing her taking advantage of him were very, very slim.

Yet, not one thing in Orlando's eyes told Zowie that she was wrong, and a flame of hope flickered to light in her heart. With his dark eyes fixed on hers, he watched her every move as her heart thumped so madly in her chest that Zowie was sure it would stop beating altogether. Not that she would mind, though; if she had to die, then Zowie could definitely think of worse scenarios than the one presented to her.

The moment her fingers brushed the cold metal of Orlando's belt buckle, Zowie urged them not to recoil in shyness. Forcing herself to swallow whatever insecurity lingered inside her, she cast a quick glance in Orlando's direction, and the sight that met her there made her heart skip a beat. His eyes, dark and heavy-lidded, were fixed on her with a look Zowie couldn't quite decipher, but made her tremble from head to toe. She knew she was getting ahead, that maybe she was reading a bit too much into it, but for Zowie, it felt as if they were crossing a barrier that had long since been built between them. A barrier she had been dying to bring down to tiny, little pieces so it could never be brought up again.

Still looking at Orlando in the eye, Zowie let her long fingers pull at his belt, unbuckling it with a slowness that belied the eagerness and anxiety she felt inside. The sound of leather brushing against metal, a sound that would have gone unnoticed to Zowie in any other situation, now reached her ears with a sheer clarity in the silence and stillness of the night.

Her eyes leaving Orlando's only for the briefest of seconds, Zowie admired the product of her handiwork, the sight sending a tingle of something unknown to her lower belly. Then, not knowing what was expected from her, she looked into Orlando's eyes for some sort of signal; a silent message that told her how to go on from there... and that she actually had his permission to do so.

Nonetheless, Orlando emitted no sound. Although the foggy glow in his dark eyes never faltered, before Zowie could react, his fingers had encircled her wrist in a steely grip that, albeit not forceful, was strong enough not to be ignored. Surprised, and with the glimmer of hope in her heart turning into a full, blazing fire, Zowie offered no resistance as Orlando brought her down to him. Kneeling there in what Zowie would have otherwise deemed an awkward position, she allowed herself to be pulled closer by Orlando, their lips merely a whisper apart.

It was so hard not to give in to eagerness! Zowie discovered that holding her emotions in check was much harder than she had ever imagined. When Orlando's heavy-lidded eyes cherished her face, the tingle in her tummy spread all throughout her body. His lips, moist and parted, proved to be a temptation almost irresistible for her, one Zowie only managed to withstand by thinking that she didn't want that spell to end. Running her tongue over her suddenly dry lips, Zowie's eyes then hungrily fell on Orlando's tempting mouth, her mind lost in the most pleasant images.

That brief, almost reflex gesture from her seemed to be all that Orlando had been waiting for. Slipping a commanding hand on the back of her neck, he pulled her close, his lips taking hers in a daring kiss that took Zowie's breath away.

Surprise was too big and too blinding in its intensity, too strong to leave room in Zowie's mind for anything other than Orlando's kiss. With her blood pumping in her veins in rhythm to the pounding of her heart, a thousand different emotions ran wildly inside her: surprise, delight, joy, desire... all morphing into the purest form of happiness Zowie had ever felt.

Orlando... he was kissing her! At last! How long had Zowie waited for that to happen? How many nights had she laid in bed awake, thinking of how it would feel to kiss Orlando, touch him, feel him? And now, as his actions filled her with joy, Zowie discovered that kissing him felt exactly like she had imagined... and more.

His lips were demanding, and while they seemed to lose their way occasionally, Zowie blamed it on the passion she could feel building between them. It was obvious that Orlando wanted her as much as she did, and if that meant his kisses drifted somehow, then she was more than willing to put up with it. Besides, she found great delight in showing Orlando the way back every single time.

The moment Zowie felt Orlando's hands sliding down her body with a daring touch, a delighted gasp escaped her lips. Anticipation and ecstasy brought her senses to life as his hands, confident and unabashed, settled themselves on her hips. Shock filled her, but why pretend she didn't want that? Zowie had been praying for something like that to happen for so long, it would be silly of her to stop Orlando. Instead, she revelled in the feeling of his hands eagerly caressing her skin and, exhilarated at the way Orlando never seemed to get enough of her nearness, she inched herself closer and closer to him.

Orlando was intense, and Zowie welcomed the hint of roughness and ardour that tinted his every move. It felt so good, Zowie couldn't remember feeling that way ever before. She eagerly welcomed his touch, and when his daring hands slipped under her top, she couldn't help the low, throaty moan that filled Orlando's mouth. His touch was scorching, and the heat in his fingers seared her skin, making her shiver uncontrollably.

However, and despite the pleasant sensations, conflictive emotions clashed inside Zowie. His touch felt, well... heavenly! It was everything she had ever dreamt of, and more. Yet, something inside her screamed, urging Zowie to push Orlando and his daring hands away. It was so strong, it threatened to overpower everything else and Zowie knew she couldn't let it win. Long ago she had determined Orlando would be her first, vowing to herself that no one else would do. Why would she stop, then?

Shoving the annoying modesty aside wasn't easy, but Zowie managed to control it just in time to feel Orlando's hot hands travelling upwards on her body. While something inside her begged her to slow things down a little bit, she had no intention of voicing her concerns. Why would she when Zowie knew that doing precisely that would ruin everything?

Eager hands continued their journey upwards, robbing her of her breath the moment they confidently posed themselves on her breasts. Once again, joy and arousal, surprise and even a tiny little bit of discomfort whirled inside Zowie as Orlando sampled the soft, yielding flesh beneath his palms.

Sometimes soft and gentle, others rough and eager, Orlando's pace was one Zowie had difficulty adjusting to. She never allowed herself to be discouraged by it, though. Trying to ignore the lingering discomfort, Zowie clung to those threads of desire that began to burn inside her and, sliding her arms around his neck, she focused all her attention on returning some of that delight Orlando was giving her.

He caught the message at once and his tongue, quick and audacious, tasted her lips looking for a way in. Craving to feel as much of him as she could, Zowie eagerly parted her mouth, a sign Orlando acknowledged straight away.

While the feeling wasn't alien to Zowie, it was different than anything she had experienced before. Sure, Orlando was far more demanding than any of the boys she had kissed up to that night, but Zowie would much rather die than admit defeat. Eagerly, her tongue danced with Orlando's, tasting him unabashedly as his fingers boldly lowered the thin barrier of her bra, playing with her nipples until they hardened under his touch. They soon left her, though, and Zowie held her breath as they rolled down her skin in a rushed, somewhat clumsy trip.

Nothing could have prepared her for what came next, though. Bold and confident, Orlando's hands posed themselves on her hips and before Zowie could even react, he changed their positions, his body pinning her down to the bed. Right after that, and as his lips travelled down her neck, Orlando's hands adventurously inched up her skirt, his palms sampling her soft skin.

Orlando's ministrations brought, once again, conflictive feelings to Zowie's heart. While her soul sang the moment he positioned himself between her thighs, she couldn't help the unsettling feeling that grew inside her. It was her dream come true, there was no doubt about that, but something in the back of Zowie's mind kept telling her that things were moving much too quickly for her liking. However, already an expert on deafening the voices that tried to reason with her, Zowie once again silenced her mind and slowly, almost reluctantly, adjusted herself around Orlando's body.

He, however, didn't have the same difficulty. Busy as she was growing accustomed to his proximity, Zowie paid no attention to any of Orlando's actions until a loud gasp escaped her lips, a jolt of electricity tensing her every fibre at the intrepid touch of his hand in her intimacy.

It was impossible to keep her perplexity at bay. With bated breath, Zowie tried to make sense of what was happening to her as Orlando sampled her softness. Uncomfortable, she tried to ease herself away from him, if only to show Orlando that she needed more time to adjust to his behaviour. Feeling extremely self conscious, Zowie dangled on the edge, pulled by both the urge to push Orlando away, and the need to go on, to prove herself that she had been right all along and that she and Orlando could work magic together.

Stubborn as she was, Zowie only allowed the latter to win, doing her best to overcome whatever discomfort Orlando's touch brought to her. It was only a matter of time, she reminded herself. Once she got used to his straightforwardness, everything would be just perfect, and she would later laugh at the momentary doubts and uneasiness she had felt.

Yet, something inside her urged Zowie, prompting her to leave all musings behind and surrender to the growing thrill running through her veins. It slowly spread through her body, and when she couldn't control the little moan that escaped her lips, Zowie knew she couldn't keep fighting it. It felt good, but it also hinted at something so much better that Zowie threw all caution to the wind, giving in to the sensations.

The moment Orlando noticed the change in her, his lips hungrily captured Zowie's, leaving no doubts as to what would come next. Knowing very well what it was, she anxiously waited for it.

Her eagerness matched Orlando's, and as his kiss deepened, his hands swiftly lowered her underwear, pushing it down her long legs before carelessly dropping it aside. Determined, Zowie focused all efforts on maintaining the pleasure Orlando had unleashed inside her. With that in mind, she didn't notice Orlando fumbling with his jeans until he, with a swift, quick movement, pushed himself inside her.

A sharp cry of pain escaped Zowie's mouth. God, it hurt... it hurt so much! She knew it would – it was her first time, after all! She just had never imagined it would be that strong. A searing pain pierced her, and with tears escaping her eyes, Zowie clung to Orlando's shoulders, wishing with all her heart for the discomfort to disappear. Maybe, if Orlando remained still only for a minute, Zowie could grow accustomed to him and the old feeling would return, making that night everything she had always imagined.

Zowie never voiced her thoughts, though. Orlando, unaware and lost in a haze of lust and alcohol, began to move in a way that was instinctive, but that made her grit her teeth at the pain flashing through her. Fresh tears slipped from her eyes, but Zowie resolutely wiped them away with the back of her hand, Orlando's panting breath echoing in her ear. The pleasure she had felt earlier... it couldn't disappear so easily, so quickly! There had to be a way to find it again!

But his movements were erratic now, sometimes shallow, others diving deep inside her and making her wince. Instinctively, Zowie knew it wouldn't last much longer and her heart sank in her chest, a thin layer of ice forming around it despite her best efforts. She loved Orlando, and that would never change. As he pushed himself inside her so hard that a little cry of pain erupted from her lips, Zowie reminded herself of that. She loved him, and now that Orlando had admitted having feelings for her, everything would be perfect. In some time, they would look back at that night and laugh. They would have to... Zowie desperately needed to believe they would as Orlando's body suddenly became heavier on hers, pressing her against the mattress in a way that took her completely by surprise.

Having had no previous experience, Zowie realised that she had no idea what to say or do next, and the confusion inside her only made things worse. Seconds of doubt passed and with each of them, Orlando's body became heavier and heavier on hers, making it hard for her to breath.

"Orlando...?" Zowie murmured as she posed her hands on his shoulders, trying to push him away.

Her voice came out as timid as her efforts to push him off of her, and they got exactly the same response: none. A thought suddenly struck Zowie's mind, but she refused to believe it. It couldn't be! Orlando was much too good for something like that!

Gathering all her strength, Zowie finally managed to push Orlando off of her. Yet, when he limply fell on the mattress, precariously dangling on the edge, dread rose inside her, making her feel sick. Orlando was asleep! And so deeply, that he had felt nothing when she pushed him away! A knot blocked her throat, and it took her a few seconds until she managed to breathe again, tears prickling at her eyes.

It couldn't be... it couldn't! Orlando just couldn't be asleep, he couldn't close his eyes when Zowie needed him the most! A sob wracked her body, and Zowie covered her mouth in a futile attempt to hold it back. More soon followed, and when her gaze was blurred by a torrent of tears that could have never been stopped, Zowie let herself fall back on the bed, her arms around herself.

When had her perfect dream turned into a nightmare? Something inside Zowie refused to believe that what had happened between them held so little importance to Orlando that there was nothing better for him to do than fall asleep the minute he was done with it. Was she so unimportant to him? The sole thought broke Zowie's heart, bringing forward a pain so strong that it left her breathless. She loved him! And Orlando surely felt, if not as strongly, at least something other than bare lust for her. When had it all gone so awfully wrong, then? When had it all changed so drastically that Orlando had to basically use her to relieve his lust, ignoring her afterwards?

Sombre thoughts crossed Zowie's mind, and the minute a light snore reached her ears, she wished the Earth would open up and swallow her, for there was no way she could deal with that pain anymore. What had happened to that perfect night she had imagined so long ago, the one she had planned to the very last detail? Where was Orlando's soothing, comforting and loving touch? It was nowhere to be seen, and realisation hit her with the strength of a thousand bricks falling on her head.

She couldn't spend another minute in that room, not with Orlando's deep and rhythmical snoring bouncing off the walls. Although she knew more would soon follow, Zowie still wiped her tears, sitting up on the bed and blushing into a crimson red when she spotted her underwear on the carpet. A hint of humiliation rose inside her, adding to the tangle of emotions whirling in her soul. Refusing to give the sight a second thought, Zowie simply reached down and quickly slid the garment back in place as fresh tears streamed down her cheeks.

Could it be any more humiliating? Throwing a hopeful glance over her shoulder, Zowie determined it couldn't. Orlando was fully dressed, the only signs of what had happened in that room minutes ago being his unzipped jeans. Although Zowie studied him carefully, she felt only a hint of the curiosity she had felt earlier. She loved him dearly, yes, but in that instant, she realised she couldn't spend another minute by his side.

Making her way down the steep stairs with wobbly legs and high heels wasn't an easy feat, but Zowie managed to reach the living room without any further disasters. She tried to keep her mind blank as she reached for her purse, but when realisation hit her, Zowie was overtaken by pain. Leaning against the door behind her, she gasped for breath as images of the night whirled in her mind, making her dizzy.

Seeing her long awaited dream become such a heartbreaking reality went beyond simple disappointment, and as more sobs tore at her body, Zowie finally left Orlando's house, slamming the door behind her without any care. Something inside her hoped he would wake up, see what had happened, and go after her, but as she walked down Marine Parade and no sound other than those of a city in a deep slumber came, Zowie had to admit it would never happen. Orlando wouldn't come running after her, begging her to forgive him. He would just sleep it off and maybe, in the morning, he would have enough courage to come to her. Zowie hoped it would happen. If it didn't, then her sanity would be in serious jeopardy.

Lost in her sombre thoughts, Zowie never stopped to think, simply following her feet as they carried her in a direction she hoped was the right one. She knew she should have arrived home a long time ago, but in that precise instant, her parents' opinion couldn't be any less important. Zowie needed to clear her thoughts, or at least put them in some order that wasn't prejudicial to her sanity. She needed to put things into perspective and, above all, cry all her tears before crossing the door to her home, and for that she needed time. Taking a taxi never crossed her mind, but neither did the danger of walking the dark streets at such late hour. She just hoped she would eventually make it in the right direction and not end up in a bigger mess. Yet again, what could be worse than what had already happened?


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30.**

 

 _“Never dreamed that I could fall_  
_But something's come over me_  
 _Now I'm sitting staring at the wall_  
 _Afraid for my sanity”_

**_Europe – I'll Cry For You_ **

 

Nothing altered the silence of the night other than the sound of Zowie's high heels clicking on the pavement. The darkness, overwhelming in its quietness, surrounded her with a solitude that matched the one in her heart. Not once did Zowie stop to consider the dangers of walking alone at such late hour, merely focusing on putting as much distance between that house and the memories it enclosed as possible.

Still, Zowie's heart grew heavy when realising that the idea of going home wasn't actually any more appealing. What solace would she find there other than what little privacy her room could offer? Not much, and even that wouldn't last long. Although the idea sickened her, Zowie knew she would eventually need to leave her room and face her parents. Would she be able to open her heart to them when the time came, though? A bitter laugh rolled off her lips at the sole thought, echoing in the night. No matter how heartbroken or disappointed Zowie felt, the light of her love still shone bright enough to want to keep Orlando safe at all cost.

Blisters wounded her sandal-clad feet, but lost in her pain, Zowie moved on autopilot refusing to acknowledge the rational side of her that kept screaming for attention. If she caved, if she gave in to it, then it would only bring a grief so powerful that she wasn't sure she could endure it. Yet, and no matter how hard Zowie tried to keep them at bay, her brain incessantly replayed the events of the night, finding a perverse pleasure in torturing her with them.

Clenching her fists, Zowie felt her chest tightening with a pain so strong that she felt it piercing through her. Would it ever stop? Would she ever be able to look at that night with different eyes? As the dancing shadows of the trees moving in the wind mixed with her own on the pavement, the answer that rose from Zowie's heart blurred her eyes to everything around her. In that moment, and with darkness growing in her heart, Zowie had the feeling nothing would ever be the same again.

Blinded to everything around her, Zowie's eyes only cleared when a pair of painfully bright headlights drove past her. Inadvertently following an invisible lead, she had safely made it to Para Street where the after midnight bus that would take her to Hataitai had a stop. Surprise wasn't strong enough to battle through her grief, though, so with heavy steps, Zowie headed towards the bus stop not too far away, energy leaving her with every step she took. Her body, her mind, her entire being was exhausted, and blood pumped in her ears as Zowie tried to silence the thoughts that refused to be ignored any longer. She still fought them for every inch, though, but when she surrendered, hot tears spilled down her face.

She had done everything wrong. As much as it pained her to admit it, Zowie couldn't keep on denying it, not with the evidence glaring back at her. Every single thing she had done since meeting Orlando had been wrong. Every decision, every reckless action had invariably led to that disastrous night.

What would have happened had Zowie moved to Palmerston North as planned? Could she have met someone else, someone who managed to erase Orlando from her mind? Had she not spent every possible minute with him, would her feelings for the actor still be as strong? However, no matter how badly she needed answers to her questions, Zowie still evaded voicing each and every one of them, for thinking she had spent all those months following a crazy ideal was much too hard for her to bear.

If only Brooke was still in Wellington, Zowie wouldn't doubt it for a minute; she would run to her, pouring her heart out and crying all the tears she knew she would have to hide in the future. Brooke was the only person who knew exactly what she felt for Orlando, and not having her around made Zowie feel lost.

Suddenly, an angry sob wracked her body. Where was Brooke when she needed her? She was supposed to be her best friend, but just when Zowie happened to need her the most, when she needed her shoulder to cry on and her kind words, Brooke was nowhere to be seen. One damn good friend she was! It was then, in that dark and lonely night, that Zowie realised how truly alone she was, and the mix of anger and pain that resulted numbed her heart and soul.

Zowie didn't know how long it took for the bus to appear, nor how she boarded it with mechanical moves. Her anger, having vanished almost as quickly as it had come, now allowed the numbness to freely spread inside her as she took a seat at the very back of the bus, her eyes lost outside. Not many things could have broken her determination to keep her mind devoid of all thought, but catching a glimpse of WETA Workshop as the bus drove past tore new wounds in her already battered heart.

How would she face Orlando and the others? How would Zowie be able to pretend everything was just as perfect as the night before when she had insisted, laughter lingering on her lips, on taking Orlando safely home?

And what about her parents? There was no way she could act normal when she felt her whole world had crumbled down to pieces! Zowie wasn't even sure she could keep her feelings from being written all over her face in the first place, and thinking of the implications sent a dull throbbing to her temples. She couldn't think about it without breaking down in the process, so she opened herself to the numbing haze instead, letting it cloak her in a deep silence. Perhaps things would be easier the morning after, but in that instant, she couldn't afford to think about it.

The ride home would later be reduced to a blur in Zowie's memory. Still not taking any possible danger into consideration, she got off the bus on Waitoa Road and, snuggling up in her jacket, she pondered her options as she began to walk the mile that separated her from her house.

What was the use in sneaking in? Her parents would most likely hear her the moment she slid the key in the lock anyway. Trying to go unnoticed simply wouldn't do, and Zowie hoped that, no matter what, her parents weren't experiencing a case of insomnia and felt like coming down to say hi. The mere thought gave her shivers.

When her house came into sight, Zowie took a deep breath. She knew she had the smallest chance to make everything work, and as she climbed the steps that led to the front door, she realised it would all depend on her ability to avoid any unwanted meetings. With that thought first and foremost in her mind, Zowie took a deep breath and stood silently by the door, analysing the sounds coming from the inside. Nothing but silence welcomed her, and Zowie didn't need to be told she would never get another chance like that. Full of resolution, she entered the house, sliding into her room with quick steps.

When the sight of that familiar room welcomed her, Zowie sighed with a mix of relief and pain. Yes, she had succeeded on putting as much distance between her and Orlando as possible, but that hadn't vanished the sorrow that patiently waited to be acknowledged. It was still there, and when memories rushed back flashing before her eyes with painful clarity, Zowie felt her heart breaking.

Closing her eyes, she willed those images to disappear. She couldn't let them win, Zowie couldn't give in to her tears again! She needed to be strong, and for that, she forced herself to bring some normalcy back to her life by sticking to a routine that made her feel safe. With a shaky breath, Zowie then began to undress, hoping the memories of the night would peel off of her as easily as her clothing did.

She wasn't that lucky, though. Standing in her room in nothing but her underwear, Zowie eyed the bed longingly, knowing that sleep would be the only thing to stop the thoughts from whirling in her mind. Perhaps, the sooner she went to bed, the sooner those memories would leave her, but a sudden shiver shook her body at the sole thought. Her mind, her skin, they both carried signs Zowie wished would disappear. Oblivion didn't seem to want to grace her with its presence, if there was a slim chance she could ever forget that night at all for as long as she lived, but ridding her body of whatever physical evidences remained might as well be a start.

Avoiding catching her reflection in the mirror at all cost, Zowie put her robe on, tying it securely around her waist as she took some fresh clothes from her closet. Then, as silently as she could, she hurried to the bathroom next to her room, thanking God for having chosen those particular sleeping arrangements so long ago. That peculiar house plan, with the rest of the house set on a completely different level, allowed Zowie a privacy she now appreciated with her whole heart.

Once inside, Zowie realised that the most effective way to erase the traces of the evening off of her would be taking a shower. There was, of course, a big risk her parents would hear her and come down to snoop around, but Zowie prayed they wouldn't since the dam that held a potential outburst at bay was beginning to crack and she didn't think herself able to hold it up much longer. Taking off the rest of her clothes, Zowie then slid into the small corner shower, welcoming the cleansing touch of the warm water and wishing with all her heart her mind could be rid of all memories just as easily.

Zowie didn't linger. Scrubbing herself clean, she meticulously washed herself before stepping out and reaching for the fresh towels her mum always kept in the vanity. Her hand, however, stumbled with a small bottle, and although there wasn't much energy left inside her to feel curious, something inside Zowie still beckoned her to it. Taking it in her hand, she inspected the writing on the label.

Sleeping pills. Having never dealt with long flights easily, Noemie had bought those before her last trip to England a little over a year ago. Why hadn't she thrown them away after so long, Zowie would never know, but the moment she realised what it was that she held in her hand, she instantly knew it was the solution to her most urgent issues. With so many thoughts running rampant in her mind, with so many images persistently flashing before her eyes, Zowie knew there was no way sleep would come soon, if at all.

Weighing the bottle, Zowie wondered whether it was the right thing to do. Having never taken something like that before, she felt more than a little insecure, but the moment she remembered how quickly they had helped Noemie, the thought alone was enough to make her mind up.

Quickly drying herself, Zowie slid her underwear and pyjamas on before opening the bottle, a tiny pill falling on her palm. Torn inside, she studied it with insecure eyes, but all doubts left her the moment she realised what that night would be like if she decided to deal with it on her own. Shivering, not an instant had passed before the pill had entered her system, filling it with something akin to relief. It had to work, Zowie mused, praying for that with all her heart.

Carefully putting the bottle back in its place, Zowie wasted no time in heading back to her room and sliding in bed. Yet, as she drew the covers over her body, her eyes fell on the framed picture on her bedside table. Taken at her 18th birthday celebration at the kart park, the smiles on her friends' faces, and even her own, seemed to mock her. When she caught sight of the way Orlando held her close, his arm tight around her waist, Zowie's heart twisted in agony. How could someone bring her so much joy and so much sorrow at the same time?

Tears prickled in her eyes, but she fought against them. Flipping the picture upside down, Zowie then resolutely drew the blankets high over her head, closing her eyes tightly as she impatiently waited for the pill to kick in. Keeping her mind blank wasn't easy, but as drowsiness took over her, she made sure to welcome it with open arms, the blissful blankness overruling everything else and leading her into the dreamless sleep she needed so much.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31.**

 

 _“Cause you can't avoid the sentiment_  
_That echoes in your ear_  
 _Saying love will stop the pain_  
 _Saying love will kill the fear”_

**_Robbie Williams - Supreme_ **

 

Consciousness beckoned her, but Zowie fought it for every inch. Resolutely clinging to the last threads of sleep inside her, she blatantly ignored the bright light she could see through her closed eyes; surely, it was much too early for her to even consider being awake.

Her body, however, had a mind of its own. Forcing Zowie to open her eyes, she noticed that although softened by the blinds on her window, the sunlight was still bright enough to make her squint. So much for an early hour, she mused with a sleepy grin. It was a miracle Noemie hadn't came knocking on her door hours ago ordering her to join the world of the living! Closing her eyes, Zowie then sketched a little smile as she willed herself back to sleep.

Nonetheless, that peace didn't last long. The bliss that filled Zowie suddenly disappeared when images, words, memories of the previous night flooded her mind leaving her breathless. Wide awake and surprised, Zowie's eyes fixed themselves on the ceiling with a glow of desperation in them. It couldn't be! It had to be a dream, a horrible dream vivid enough to confuse her with its clarity... the same clarity that made her heart twist in agony as realisation hit her.

There was no possible way to deny it. No matter how hard Zowie tried to keep the images at bay, they persisted, and as she laid motionless on her bed, she could feel the unmistakable brushing of depression's fingers on her skin. It would be so easy to give in, to let herself be overcome by it and not fight anymore... Yet, stubborn as she was, Zowie still tried to put some order to her straying thoughts.

Thinking she shouldn't have done it was absolutely out of the question. What difference would it make, anyway? What was done, was done, and she couldn't erase the past. What Zowie could do, though, was try and face the world with as much normalcy as she could, starting with the family that most likely waited for her upstairs, and then go on from there.

However, as hard as she tried to focus on the future, some matters still lingered in Zowie's mind, much too powerful to be shoved aside. She was sad. She was disappointed. But, above all, Zowie felt that the safe ground she had been building for the past months had vanished from beneath her feet in a matter of minutes. Each day since meeting Orlando had been spent thinking of ways to seduce him, to make him see that he wanted her as much as she did. If Zowie wanted Orlando enough for him to be her first, then he couldn't feel any less for her, right? Zowie clung to that thought as if trying to escape a shipwreck by holding on to the only piece of driftwood available.

But... what if she had been wrong all along? A knot blocked Zowie's throat. She had been so sure Orlando loved her that she hadn't been able to think of anything else but the joy filling her heart the moment his lips touched hers. Not once had she stopped to consider that Orlando could very well be responding to something beyond his control, something that pushed him to do things he wouldn't do otherwise.

Sighing, Zowie blinked her tears away. Their one night together... it couldn't be born solely from the alcohol in Orlando's system! He had to feel something for her! Zowie's pain went beyond the fact that her first time had not been what she had dreamt of for so long. She knew she could learn to live with whatever disappointment was thrown her way if Orlando admitted his feelings for her, but... what if it turned out that the previous night had meant nothing to him?

Realisation wasn't pleasant, and it was nothing Zowie wanted to deal with in that precise moment. While a side of her held on to the hope that Orlando would knock on her door begging for forgiveness, another one, a more practical, rational one, repeated over and over how useless it would be to expect something like that. Zowie groaned, her mind whirling with possibilities and implications. If only she could hide forever...

Nonetheless, avoiding everything and everyone wouldn't do. Zowie knew that locking herself up would only serve to attract more attention to herself, something she wished to avoid at all costs. But how would she pull on a happy face and answer every curious question as if nothing had happened? Although answers evaded her, Zowie instinctively knew that not acting normally would not only put her in a troublesome situation, it would also bring hell upon Orlando, and that was something she simply couldn't allow. Even if the events of the previous night tore her heart to pieces, Zowie's feelings for him hadn't diminished one bit.

With a reluctant sigh, Zowie admitted defeat. Slowly drawing the blankets from her body, she assumed a seated position, all the while trying to ignore the light pounding in her temples. Whether it was caused by the late night, the long sleep, or the sleeping pill, Zowie didn't know; she just hoped the latter wouldn't bring any unwanted consequences she would have a hard time explaining.

With so many thoughts tangling with each other in her mind, Zowie didn't expect one of them to take the lead and make itself noticeable with a strength that hit her physically. Innocently, Zowie had imagined all her problems would end at home, but the groan that left her lips told her how wrong she had been.

What would happen on Monday when she met Orlando's cast mates on set? Zowie didn't need an active imagination to picture exactly how things would be. They would cross examine her, hoping to get at least one sordid detail they could tease Orlando with for years to come, and the whirlwind inside Zowie spun at a dizzying speed. What would she tell them? When a solution failed to enlighten her, Zowie discovered that the prospect of curling up in bed only to come out when she had figured out what to do was very appealing. Appealing, yet impossible.

Digging in her mind until she found what little determination remained inside her, Zowie clung to it as she left the bed. Putting on a pair of comfortable grey tracksuit bottoms and a white t-shirt, Zowie lingered, not too sure of the step she would take next. While the mirror in the corner of her room beckoned her, something inside her dreaded what she would find there.

Finally, and after long seconds, Zowie gathered the courage to face her reflection. With questions echoing in her mind, she stared at herself, her blue eyes shining with anticipation. Would there be a difference, a noticeable change in her? Would Zowie have a different look in her eyes, one that told people she wasn't the same person that had left the house the night before? Zowie studied herself more attentively. Would it only take her parents a quick look in her direction to understand what had happened?

She didn't know how long she had spent trying to find any tell-tale signs on her face, but when she found none other than a slight swell in her eyes and a frown, Zowie allowed herself a sigh of relief. Not a very high price to pay considering what she had gone through, right? Obviously, the late shower and the sleeping pill had been the right thing to do.

Giving her alarm clock a quick glance over her shoulder, Zowie ran a brush through her long hair, muttering under her breath every time it ran into a tangled knot. Then, slipping on the jacket that matched her tracksuit bottoms, Zowie quickly left her room, only making a brief stop at the bathroom to brush her teeth.

The minute she stood in front of the stairs, however, her heart thumped nervously in her chest as reluctance filled her. The moment of truth was coming, and whatever happened upstairs at the family table, Zowie knew it would set the rules for the time to follow. If she got away with it without her parents skinning her alive or burning Orlando in a pyre, then she would consider herself luckier than she probably deserved.

Feeling like she was walking to her execution, Zowie took a deep breath and began to climb the stairs.

"There you are! Thank God you emerged... I was about to send a search party to your room."

Zowie couldn't help rolling her eyes as she entered the kitchen. A big gap separated what she and William considered humorous, and his remark was the perfect example. She still faked a little smile in his benefit, though, hoping it would keep him from suspecting anything.

"Good morning," she murmured, plopping down in the nearest chair and resting her head on her arms as she folded them on the table. Then, marvelled at the silence surrounding her, Zowie cast a quick look around only to realise that she and William were on their own. "Where's everybody?"

Resuming the breakfast preparations he had interrupted the moment Zowie showed up, William grabbed a pan from under the counter and placed it on the burner.

"Well, Jay's out to buy some milk. With Jewell in tow, much to his dismay," William joked, giving her an arched eyebrow. "As for your mum, she's paying Gramma Yvonne a quick visit. She wasn't feeling too well."

Instantly forgetting all her selfish worries, Zowie sat up straight, turning to her father with a concerned look in her blue eyes.

"Is she alright?"

William faced her, his arms folded over his chest as he rested his hip against the counter.

"Apparently, it's nothing but an upset stomach, your mum just wanted to make sure Gramma wasn't downplaying it. Don't worry about it, though... mum will be back soon and we'll get all the news from a reliable source."

Thoughtfully, Zowie nodded, not sure William wasn't downplaying it himself. She couldn't understand why, though; it's not like she couldn't handle the truth after all.

Still feeling a little drowsy, Zowie closed her eyes as she assumed her previous position. Her mind, however, decided it was the perfect moment to play a dirty little trick on her, flashing unwanted images that brought shivers down her back. Uneasiness clinging to her, Zowie looked up, but the sight that met her did nothing to soothe her nerves. William's eyes were fixed on her, and there was such an interest in his scrutiny that she wasn't sure he couldn't read the entire evening on her face. Upset, and filled with dread, Zowie gave him a scolding look.

"Stop staring, dad. It's not nice."

William shrugged, as if with that simple gesture he could plead innocent to the charges Zowie accused him of. However, a second later, he resumed his examination.

"Good party, wasn't it?"

Zowie shuffled uncomfortably in her seat until she realised her actions were probably a dead give-away. Crossing her legs to keep them from moving, she locked her muscles to remain immobile under her father's scrutinising gaze. Damn William for becoming observant, for once in his life, in that precise moment!

"You could say so, yes," she shrugged, not feeling like elaborating on that concept more than strictly necessary.

Zowie should have known, however, that her evasive answer would never satisfy William. If anything, it only made him all the more curious.

"I don't mean to offend, Zow, but..." William hesitated for a second as if looking for the right word to express his feelings, a second that was the longest in Zowie's life. "You look like crap. Are you sure it was a good night?"

Zowie's muscles tensed to an aching point, and she clenched her teeth as if waiting for the punch that would knock all breath from her lungs. Whatever William had in mind, it couldn't be good.

"I told you, dad... It was a rather good party and I went to bed late. It's only natural I look like crap like you so nicely pointed out. Why are you asking, anyway?"

The look William gave her made Zowie realise that had been the worst possible question to ask. He studied her as if he could see the entire evening playing on her face and, for a second, Zowie debated with herself whether to look away or not until she decided against it.

"Can I be honest with you, Zowie? Without you going all dramatic on me and locking yourself up in your room?" William's eyes glowed with insecurity, and while the dread inside her hadn't diminished one bit, Zowie still managed to roll her eyes.

"I promise not to run away screaming. Happy now?" She had hoped to earn a smile from William, but when his expression didn't falter, Zowie cringed.

"You look like you've been crying."

Terror possessed Zowie, and for a fleeting instant, infinite scenarios whirled in her mind. William couldn't possibly know what had happened! She tried to go over her actions from the previous night but her memories were hazy, and other than sneaking in as silently as she could before taking a quick shower, Zowie couldn't remember much. Had she cried in her sleep? Had she been crying as she entered the house, and her dad had heard her? Fear almost overcame her before Zowie understood she needed to keep a cool head on her shoulders. If she blew it, if she didn't manage to keep her cover at all costs, she didn't want to imagine what could happen.

Trying to pull the most convincing look she could muster, Zowie shook her head.

"I already told you, dad. Late night, very little sleep, that's all... I can't pull that off without consequences."

Sounding too emphatic would mean she was lying. The opposite, however, would probably open a door to a further interrogation. Finding a balance wasn't easy, and Zowie was sure William didn't believe a single word she said. Something stopped him, though, and when he resumed preparing breakfast, Zowie sighed with relief. She could deal with her dad when he was carefree and fun, but _that_ William... she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep the façade up under his questions.

***

That day would be remembered as the longest and hardest in Zowie's life.

Everything she did, from pretending not a single concern clouded her mind to analysing her every step before taking it, required an extra effort. It was only natural that, with so much pressure on her, Zowie began to physically feel the strain. The promise of a headache pounded in her temples and her chest felt heavy, keeping the air from flowing freely into her lungs. She felt asphyxiated, and the sudden urge to leave that place and escape her dad's scrutinising gaze became overwhelming. She needed to get out, and she needed it fast.

With that idea in mind, and before she could even give it a second thought, Zowie headed towards the stairs determined to leave the house. Her dad, attentive as he was to her every move, tried to follow her.

"Zowie? What's going on, where are you going?"

Yes, there was a puzzled, urgent hint even in William's voice, but Zowie ignored it completely. Reaching the front door in no time, she threw a quick answer over her shoulder.

"I'm going out for a run!" was all the explanation she offered before literally running away, her mind set on making it to the street below before anyone could stop her.

Running wasn't a novelty to Zowie; an integral part of her football training, she had been known for going out for a jog every now and then. Lately, however, shooting had either kept her busy or away, and Zowie couldn't remember the last time she had jogged around Hataitai just for the sake of it. It usually cleared her mind, and that was something she desperately needed that moment.

Trying to empty her mind of all thought, Zowie let gravity take her down the steep hills of Hataitai, following their decline towards Evans Bay. Her chest, suddenly lighter and clearer now that she was away from her dad's probing gaze, urged her to run faster, something Zowie complied to willingly.

Her pace quickened, stopping only when absolutely necessary to avoid coming cars. When the coastline, Zowie's initial goal when leaving the house, suddenly appeared before her in all its sunny glory, she breathed a sigh of relief. Sure, a cold wind still blew in from the south, but not even that managed to deter her.

Not wanting to let her mind take over, Zowie let her body do the talking and lead her wherever it pleased. She didn't question the sharp turn right she took when reaching Evans Bay Parade, and only allowed herself an absent admiration of the sunny bay at her left. The wind, cold and salty, made her lungs burn, but Zowie gladly accepted it. She was free! Free of all questioning glances, inquiring words... free to be herself now that she wasn't being pinned down by her dad's interrogating blue gaze.

Her muscles cramped and her lungs burnt, but Zowie didn't allow herself the chance to give in to the thoughts gnawing at her mind like a dog to a bone. Instead, she focused solely on carrying on. Once or twice she felt tempted to take one of the many streets that would take her to the highest grounds of Hataitai and back home, but Zowie reigned in those urges. If there was such a thing as a goal in her mind, it was staying as far away from her house as possible.

But her steps faltered. They suddenly lost their rhythm, and as she crossed the street, Zowie felt her feet heavy as lead. Her legs, unable to go on any further, gave in under her weight and Zowie collapsed on the moist grass beneath her. Her pants for breath, however, couldn't be endorsed solely to exhaustion. Prisoner to the memories, and full of fear for the future, Zowie couldn't stop the sobs that took over her.

Tears rolled freely down her cheeks, the grief too powerful to be pushed aside any longer. She felt so much pain, so much heartbreak! Her romantic, idyllic dreams had shattered down to pieces, and no matter how hard Zowie tried to deny it, she felt used. Why couldn't Orlando come to her, asking for forgiveness? Why couldn't he simply admit how much he wanted her? All Zowie needed to mend her broken heart, to remain sane, was to hear those few words that would make everything right.

Yet, those thoughts weren't enough to thaw the ice creeping around her heart. Too many fears grew inside her, too many concerns clouded her mind for Zowie to feel truly relieved. Her dad knew something was wrong; how, Zowie had absolutely no idea, but her hasty departure had surely done nothing but confirm his suspicions. But how could she go back and pretend nothing had happened when being confined to those four walls could very well drive her insane? Going back meant facing William's questions without breaking down, and Zowie wasn't sure she could do it. She begged God for a way out, for something to lead her through that time of darkness, but no miracle was performed for her.

Desperate, Zowie held on to the one tiny flicker of hope burning inside her. Orlando _would_ make everything right. Maybe not that day nor the following, but he would. As soon as he gathered the courage to face her, everything, absolutely everything, would be perfect at last. Perhaps his feelings weren't as strong as her own, but that was better than nothing, right? Zowie would make him so happy that, in return, Orlando would make sure last night was never repeated again. He would do everything right, and the pain she was going through would be nothing but a hazy, distant memory.

Determined, Zowie wiped her tears, finding some relief and strength in the certainty that filled her heart. She would go back home, and she would face the questions that would surely come her way. Having found something to hold on to, Zowie felt she could face everything. She could surely make it through that day, couldn't she? After all, Zowie was sure the following would bring nothing but happiness.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32.**

 

Nothing could put a damper on her good mood. As Zowie double checked her backpack, not even the idea of leaving the house at 4AM could cloud the bright rays of expectation that surrounded her. William, on the other hand, didn't seem half as enthusiastic; if anything, he looked like he could use a good four extra hours in bed. Zowie refrained from pointing it out, though, knowing better than to force some happiness into him so early in the morning. After all, had she not been a hundred percent sure her life would take a highly anticipated turn that day, she would probably look and act the same way.

But that day _would_ be unforgettable. Zowie was sure of that.

Long gone were the fears, the pain, the confusion Saturday night's disastrous experience had brought her. Zowie doubted she could ever forget the black cloud of depression that had descended upon her, or the bitter tears she had cried when there seemed to be no way out, but no one could say she wasn't trying. Clinging to her determination and stubbornness, she had managed to find a light of hope inside her that had successfully pushed all shadows away.

_World was on fire, no one could save me but you  
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do_

Zowie fidgeted as her dad drove into the set located just outside Wellington. She could hardly wait! That day would mark the beginning of a new phase in her life, one where everything would be just as she had dreamed of for months. That day, Zowie would see the end of "friends" and the beginning of something much deeper.

Love.

_I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you_

Jumping out of the car before her dad even had the chance to stop the engine, Zowie bounced her way to the trailer area, waving and smiling with sincere glee at everyone who came her way. While not many returned the gesture with such emphasis, Zowie's smile never faltered. Had she been able to radiate the happiness she felt inside and cover everyone with its glow, then she would gladly do it.

Glancing around, her eyes fell on a trailer at her right. A sign taped to the door read the name of its occupier, and grinning at the bright lights inside, Zowie wasted no time knocking on Elijah's door. While she knew Lij would never keep her out, barging in to find the actor in his underwear, or worse, naked, was the last thing on her mind. While Zowie thought Elijah was very cute and a really nice guy she could have easily fallen for had Orlando not come into the picture, seeing her friend in any state of undress was a barrier she was _not_ willing to cross.

Opening the door as soon as Elijah answered her call, Zowie stormed in with a bounce and a smile that made her friend eye her with an annoyed stare.

"Stop it. It's illegal to be so damn happy so early in the morning. If you don't, you'll be banned from my trailer until I wake up."

Zowie stifled her laughter, but her wide smile and the mischievous sparkle in her blue eyes were enough to confirm to Elijah that she was far too cheery for his liking.

"You're disgusting, Zow. Ew," he muttered.

"Come on, Lij... cheer up! It's Monday, five AM, it's cold and windy outside... what could be better than that?"

Elijah turned to Zowie, focusing his undivided attention on her. Nothing escaped his inquisitive blue eyes; not the smile that played on her lips, nor the vivacious glow in her eyes. Zowie was _happy_ , and that was a concept his sleep-deprived mind rebelled against, especially at that time of the day.

"Alright. Who are you, and what have you done to Zowie?"

She laughed heartily at his comment. Elijah seemed confused and utterly curious, and the stance he assumed, feet slightly apart, fists on his hips while in full Hobbit costume, made her laugh even harder. She couldn't talk seriously with a man in oversized clothes and hairy prosthetic feet.

"I'm having a good morning, Elijah. That's all." Zowie answered. Then, with a mysterious smile, she added, "And I'm sure I'll have an even better day, so deal with it. I was ready to share some of my early morning happiness with you, but since you're obviously feeling like crap..." she sighed dramatically and pretended to be hurt, earning herself a huff from Elijah.

"Morning happiness... I'll remind you of that next time you show up looking like you could kill the first person who comes your way."

Zowie smiled unrepentantly.

"Good morning to you too, Elijah."

Shaking his head with a smile, Elijah invited Zowie in with an almost imperceptible nod of his head; a gesture Zowie didn't quite need to make herself comfortable on the sofa in the corner.

"Do me a favour?" Elijah asked plopping down next to her and resting his head on her shoulder. "Wake me up at 1PM?"

"Sure. Anything you want me to tell Peter when he asks for you?"

"Tell him that I need a vacation. And some extra hours of sleep."

Zowie nodded with a grin. There was no way Elijah would stay behind in his trailer, no matter how tired he was. He was just playing it lazy, although Zowie was sure exhaustion was catching up with them all. It was catching up to her, and her job was nowhere near as hard as theirs was! She was wondering what Elijah had been up to during the weekend that had made him so tired when his voice caught her attention.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" she asked, having only listened to the last few words he had spoken.

"And I thought you were wide awake," he murmured lowly, but intending for Zowie to hear every single word. Making himself more comfortable, Elijah spoke. "Did you make it home safely last Saturday?"

Zowie's body stiffened slightly at his words. Positive as she was about the day, she still wasn't willing to ponder the danger she had put herself through when getting home that night. Undoubtedly, she had the best guardian angel ever.

"Yes, yes... I did. No problem."

"That's cool. How about Orlando, though? Did he do anything stupid?"

Zowie willed her voice not to shake.

"Umm... actually, he didn't." She had to be the worst liar on the face of the Earth. "He was rather tame, to be honest. No new gossip there, sorry. I suppose he hadn't drank as much as we all thought."

Elijah sighed.

"He's getting boring. We should offer him more drinks next time."

Not if she had anything to say about it, Zowie mused. She had had her share of drunken sex, and it had been enough to last her for a lifetime.

Zowie and Elijah lounged in a companionable silence; the boy enjoying those last minutes of rest before long hours of shooting, the girl thanking God the questions had ended. She could lie, she could make up one or two facts to please Elijah's curiosity, but her daily quota of acting was reaching its end, and she was too awful of an actress to improvise.

The silence, however, didn't last long. Soon, the low squeak of the door caught their attention, and a voice too familiar to Zowie made her heart skip a beat.

"Lij? You there?"

Elijah's eyes lit up as he, too, recognised the voice.

"Hey, we were just talking about you."

Accepting the implicit invitation in Elijah's words, Orlando stepped in with a small smile. Moving closer to the sofa, he gave Elijah's shoulder a hearty pat, and Zowie's cheek a brief kiss, bringing to her mind some of the more pleasant memories of their shared evening.

"Were you?" He asked as he let himself fall on a nearby chair.

Zowie lowered her eyes, Orlando's presence suddenly making her feel shy. Who could blame her, though? She had been in an intimate situation with that man, it was only natural she felt a little modest around him! Memories of his bold touch flooded her mind and when some unpleasant ones tried to surface, Zowie kept them at bay with a steely determination. She would _not_ wallow in sad thoughts, convinced that nothing but happiness laid ahead.

_What a wicked game to play  
To make me feel this way_

"Yeah," Elijah conceded. "About how you're possibly the most boring drunk in history. According to Zowie here, who agreed on nursing you on your way back home, you did absolutely nothing stupid," Lij shook his head, eyeing Orlando from his vantage point on Zowie's shoulder. "You're losing your touch, man."

A shadow briefly crossed Orlando's eyes at Elijah's words, but it was too quick, too fleeting for Zowie to try and decipher it. It darkened his eyes for the shortest instant and it disappeared just as quickly, leaving her wondering what had caused it.

When Orlando set his eyes on her, Zowie's heart skipped a beat. His gaze appeared set, determined, and at the same time, inquisitive with only a hint of uncertainty. She didn't want to get too ahead of herself, but Zowie knew the moment she had anticipated would come soon, and she wanted to be as aware as possible, hoping to remember every second of it for the rest of her life. The fact that Orlando was in full Legolas costume would certainly be a funny detail they would laugh about later, but one that wouldn't stop them from fulfilling that destiny that had been set for them so long ago.

"Umm... are you busy, Zowie?"

Her stomach did a somersault. Wide, her blue eyes pierced his, and Orlando shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Scolding herself, Zowie then lowered her gaze, if only briefly. Once she had her emotions under tight check, she finally looked up, putting on what she hoped was a casual expression.

"No, I'm not."

"Good. I... can we talk?"

_What a wicked thing to do  
To let me dream of you_

Her heart thundering in her chest, Zowie gave Orlando a soft nod. It was hard to restrain herself when all she wanted to do was jump in his arms and scream _'yes!'_ to the question he would surely ask, but Elijah stopped her from embarrassing herself beyond the point of no return.

"Alright, alright... I can see I'm not needed, I'm not _that_ thick." He said, standing up with a heavy sigh. Giving them a nod and a quick wave, Elijah then left the trailer, a deep silence descending upon Zowie and Orlando.

She would have taken the first step, but Zowie dreaded the idea of one misled decision ruining everything. There were many things she wanted to say or do in that moment, but none of them seemed appropriate. Instead, she stared at Orlando, causing him to shift in his seat one more time before giving her an inquisitive look between his dark eyelashes.

"I wanted to thank you for taking me home last Saturday. I know I'm a pain in the ass and you really didn't have to do it."

"No need to thank me, really," Zowie smiled at his remorseful tone. "You honestly didn't think I'd let you go back home alone in that state, did you?"

A tiny smile played on Orlando's lips.

"I was quite drunk, wasn't I?"

Zowie rolled her eyes at his persistence. Why Orlando insisted on punishing himself over something she had already made obvious hadn't been that bad, she didn't know. However, if it all led to the climactic moment she waited for, Zowie was more than willing to put up with some self pity. Once he was done with it, she would make sure Orlando never had anything else to regret ever again.

"If you're worrying about what your cast mates will say, you were drunk enough to keep them satisfied. Happy now?"

Another tiny smile. Zowie could see he was forcing it, though. Something plagued Orlando, and she wished to know what it was.

"Zow?"

"Yes?" His reluctance was beginning to make her uneasy.

"Did I... did I do anything stupid the other night? I mean, you know how idiotic I can be when I drink too much."

Zowie's stomach clenched painfully. Words knotted her throat, and when she realised her heart thumped wildly in her chest, she had to take a few moments to gather her straying thoughts, putting them all under a tight, steely control before her lips parted again.

"Stupid?" Zowie mumbled. "Stupid like... what?"

Orlando shifted in his seat, moving closer to her. Resting his elbows on his knees, he lowered himself until their eyes were level. However, Zowie was anything but relieved by what she saw shining in Orlando's eyes. There was concern there, baring him in ways she had never seen before. It seemed Orlando feared her answer, and realisation carved a hole beneath her that was ready and willing to swallow her in an instant.

"I don't know, like throwing myself at you or something equally stupid. Don't get me wrong," he rushed to point out when he noticed the widening of her eyes. "You're a beautiful girl, Zow, but you're my friend and I wouldn't want to ruin that. I can't remember much other than you and me getting into a taxi, and that's what's bothering me the most. If I did anything, and I mean _anything_ that could have offended you or made you feel, well... wrong, I'm sorry."

It wasn't the right time nor the right place to bring that subject up, but Orlando needed to know Zowie's honest answer. He wasn't lying when saying he didn't remember much else than her getting him into a taxi. Other than that, whatever foggy images crossed Orlando's mind were so unclear, they could be nothing but a dream. They couldn't be anything more than a product of his inebriated mind; not when they gave Orlando brief glimpses of situations he might have dreamed of in the past, but that he would probably never bring to completion in real life now.

Like dreams of him kissing Zowie.

There wasn't much else Orlando could remember, but the foggy images that had slipped back into his mind as soon as he had efficiently terminated the customary headache refused to leave him alone. They persistently came back, flooding his mind, teasing him with memories of more, but easing away from him when his fingers tried to grasp them.

Orlando knew it had to be a dream. Not that he would never kiss Zowie... long ago, little else occupied his mind. However, he had come to know her and love her, and she was too much of a good friend to ruin their relationship over something like that.

He wasn't very surprised at the graphic, realistic quality of his dream; weren't dreams supposed to be a way the mind had to give a person, during their sleep, what they couldn't get during their awake time? It was only natural that his mind produced something like that. Rather uncomfortable, sure, but understandable nonetheless.

Yet, as uncomfortable as it was, Orlando needed to be reassured that it was only a dream, and he wouldn't be at ease with himself until he heard the truth straight from Zowie's mouth.

"Did I, Zowie?" he asked, her silence unsettling him. "Please tell me I didn't do anything stupid!"

His simple yet urgent words managed to break Zowie's heart. It was wrong... so awfully wrong! Zowie's eyes widened as she avoided Orlando's inquiring gaze. It couldn't be happening, it was a big, horrible mistake! One by one, all the hopes Zowie had built in the past hours, the ones she had clung to in order to preserve her sanity, they slowly shattered to pieces inside her, and the fall of each one felt like a blow to Zowie's already torn heart.

Orlando had to be lying! He had to be playing, trying to get a reaction from her. However, when Zowie's eyes shyly left the floor to meet his, the urgency she saw in them, the need to be told what he needed to believe even if it wasn't strictly the truth, made her throat ache as tears pooled in her eyes. Orlando needed to hear a lie, but Zowie wasn't sure she could pronounce the words that would seal their future.

What had prompted that worry, that concern in Orlando? Zowie tried to figure it out, but her eyes, blurred with tears, stopped her from reading his face any further. Holding back the sobs that threatened to shake her body was the hardest, most painful task Zowie had assumed in her entire life. As another wave of recognition hit her, she grasped the last threads of self control before they slipped away from her fingers.

Orlando didn't remember. It hadn't meant a thing to him.

Why was she so surprised? Had she forgotten his state on their way home? It wasn't easy, but Zowie had to admit she had conveniently pushed those thoughts aside, twisting facts to better suit her needs. She had needed to believe everything would be alright, but not once had she taken reality into consideration. Instead, she had chosen to lie to herself in order to hide her pain, to diminish the disappointment and even the degradation she felt at his and her own actions, and now that the barriers her pretences had created had vanished in the air, those emotions they held at bay revelled in making her feel every bit of their power.

Grief, humiliation, regret, all of them created havoc inside her. What would she do now that all her worst nightmares had come to life? Zowie had no one to go to that wouldn't freak out by what she had to tell. Her parents, for instance, were completely out of the question. Who else was there for her to share her grief with? Was there, in fact, anyone who could truly and honestly understand what she was going through without accusing her or turning to Orlando with murderous intentions? Even if he had broken her heart, Zowie would never do anything to hurt him. A tiny voice inside her wondered whether her loyalty was appreciated, but Zowie deafened it, once again succumbing to the need to protect herself by shutting bad, hurtful things out.

An image of Brooke was conjured in Zowie's mind, but the offer was declined as soon as it was made. Brooke would never understand. She would never understand the love Zowie felt for Orlando, and would despise her for wanting to protecting him, just like Orlando would never understand how Zowie had to conjure a determination that had long since vanished, to simply look up at him with what she hoped was a look devoid of all feelings that would give her away. Finding her voice and forcing it to pronounce the words he wanted to hear proved to be even harder, for Zowie knew she was sealing her fate with them.

"Nothing happened, Orlando. Nothing."

Zowie didn't stop to think of _what ifs_. She didn't stop to think of what might have been had she spoken the truth either. She couldn't. In that moment, it was better to lie and keep Orlando by her side than speak the truth and push him away for good. She knew that was what Orlando would do if she as much as hinted the reality of what had happened that Saturday night; he would want to do things right, and for that, he would most likely stay away from her, and the sole idea was something Zowie couldn't stand. The tiny voice spoke again, urging her to recover her dignity and be honest with him, but Zowie's determination was clear: she was _not_ going to lose Orlando. It would pain her to see him everyday and know he didn't remember being her first, but she would find a way to deal with that grief, if only to keep him by her side.

When the tension in Orlando's face was swiftly replaced by relief, Zowie wanted to cry. Knowing how much he would have regretted their actions only served to prove her point: she _had_ to lie. She had to keep him in the dark, otherwise, she would lose him. Broken hearted, and feeling how her dream shattered to pieces at her feet, Zowie could do nothing but stare as Orlando smiled with utter relief, taking her hands in his and giving them a hearty squeeze.

"I'm so glad to hear that, Zow... you have no idea! Don't get me wrong," he rushed to point out. "You're beautiful and it's only natural any bloke out there would want to kiss you, but you're my friend, a really good one, and the last thing on my mind is ruining what we have. I love you too much for that."

_What a wicked thing to say  
You never felt this way_

_'Just not the way that I love you.'_

Orlando's sincerity was too much for Zowie. She opened her mouth, wanting to speak and excuse herself for what she was about to do, but she couldn't. Tears blocked her throat and all she managed to do was give Orlando a smile he returned brightly, not noticing the tremble in her lips or the tearful glow that darkened her usually bright blue eyes. Giving his hands a soft squeeze, Zowie stood up, finally forcing her voice through the tears.

"I... my dad... he's waiting for me..."

Orlando smiled understandingly, letting go of her hands.

"Sure, go ahead. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your dad," his cheerful tone hurt Zowie's ears. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Zowie never nodded or acknowledged his words in any way, for she hurriedly left the trailer. She couldn't spend another second there, would simply not tolerate it without breaking down and losing what little sanity remained. It hurt too much to be near him, so she ran, willing herself to put as much distance as possible between her and the man who had broken her heart.

 

Lyrics: _HIM, Wicked Game._


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33.**

 

Zowie wanted to run away, disappear, become particles of dust and light and vanish in the air. However, the anguish inside her was much too powerful, and it stubbornly held her together against her wishes.

There was no place to run, not a single chance to become invisible when surrounded by so many people. Tears blurred them, but they failed to make them disappear completely. Instead, the blurry shadows observed her every move, as if mocking her in her despair.

Zowie wished she could scream her agony, but what good would come out of it? Pain was firmly lodged inside her, a feeling she would have to learn to coexist with. Her world had crumbled to pieces, all her expectations cruelly torn apart by the one man who should bring nothing but happiness and joy to her life.

Keeping her head low so no one would notice her distress, Zowie rushed, and as people vanished behind her, the urge to cry became more and more overwhelming. On and on she walked, and when her legs refused to carry her any further, she clumsily collapsed against a tree. Feeling small, bare, and unprotected, Zowie wrapped her arms around herself, tears streaming down her face. Nothing existed around her, surrounded as she was by her grief. Even if the grass beneath her was moist and the air blew cold, Zowie could have noticed none of it; even if it was freezing, it could have never matched the bitter cold that bit her soul and frosted her heart.

It was all dead. All gone. Her teenage hopes, her dreams, even her innocence, they all had died in the arms of the man she loved so much it pained her. Her soul felt numb, making the grief of some days ago seem nothing more than a foolish game. Back then, she had cried for the death of her romantic dreams, but now, that feeling was intensified. Now, Zowie cried for the love she had always imagined having, but that had never been there; for the months spent in denial, and for the grief of knowing Orlando's love for her would never go beyond a simple friendship. Her worst nightmare had become a reality, and Zowie felt dead inside. How could he do that to her? Couldn't Orlando see she loved him like she had never loved anyone before? Couldn't he see her heart would never be truly happy by being just his friend?

And most importantly, would Zowie herself ever be able to push Orlando away if that was what it took to mend her broken heart?

The thought made her cry even harder.

She couldn't. No matter how much heartache he had brought her, not having Orlando at all would be worst than being nothing but his friend. She felt despicable for needing him so much, but she wasn't ready to lose him. Not now, and probably, not ever.

"Zowie?"

Lost in her piteous thoughts, Zowie was taken completely by surprise by the voice calling her name, and she cursed herself for not paying more attention. Rushed, she tried to wipe her tears, but a strong hand captured hers, stopping her.

"What's wrong, Zowie? Are you alright?"

The concern in that voice Zowie knew so well affected her in a way that scared her, and fresh, telling tears rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them.

"I'm fine, Lij. I'm-"

"You're _not_ alright, Zowie!" Elijah exclaimed as he crouched down beside her. Posing a soft hand on her cheek, he lifted her face and the utter grief he saw reflecting there terrified him. "What happened?"

Zowie took a deep breath, one that while intended to soothe her, only failed miserably. She still mumbled an answer that made no sense, trying to stand up and leave before any more questions were asked. Elijah was Orlando's friend; Zowie couldn't share her pain with him!

However, Zowie hadn't counted on Elijah's strength and determination. The minute he understood Zowie meant to walk away, Elijah grabbed her wrists and, with a bit more force than intended, brought her back to her sitting place with a thud.

"You are _not_ leaving until you tell me what's wrong, Zowie! Last time I saw you, you were all smiles and laughter, and now you're crying?"

His concern was honest. In the span of a few minutes, Zowie had gone from a person who couldn't stop smiling, to a blur storming out of his trailer. Something had happened and whatever it was, Elijah intended to find out. Orlando might be a good friend, but so was Zowie, and when faced with the decision of taking sides... it wouldn't be easy, but he would probably take Zowie's.

"Did... did Orlando do anything to you?" Zowie tried to shake her head, but when sobs began to rock her body, she knew all the effect of her lie was gone. Posing his hands on each side of her face, Elijah compelled her to look up at him, and even through the blur of her tears, Zowie could see the concern shining in his honest blue eyes. "Zowie, please... talk to me!"

The urgency in his plea only made her cry harder.

"He... he doesn't... he doesn't love me, Lij!" Zowie had never imagined sharing those words with anyone, let alone Elijah, but once they found a way out, she simply couldn't repress them anymore. "Orlando thinks nothing happened last Saturday... he loves me, but as a friend, and I love him so much... so much!"

Her words, coming between pain-stricken sobs, did nothing to Elijah but confuse him even further. Zowie loving Orlando, well... that wasn't much of a surprise to anyone. Elijah, for a fact, had been aware of Zowie's feelings for Orlando since seeing them interact for the first time. Why couldn't Orlando have foreseen what would happen? Zowie's feelings were obvious to anyone except Orlando himself. Consequently, he had never set straight, clear boundaries that would have helped Zowie grow out of her infatuation. However, her admitting his feelings for Orlando wasn't what puzzled Elijah. It was the mention of the past Saturday night what picked his interest the most.

What happened last Saturday, Zowie?" Elijah was beyond simple curiosity; he had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind and he dreaded acknowledging it. Having detected the uneasiness in Zowie when asking her about Orlando and their trip home, Elijah now wished he had pushed her a bit further. Perhaps, had he done that, whatever had happened between her and Orlando in the trailer could have been stopped. Swallowing hard, he insisted. "Did Orlando do something to you?"

Despite the need to share her pain with someone who helped her ease the burden, Zowie hesitated. Could she share that with Elijah? Would he tell her father and bring hell upon Orlando?

"You can trust me, Zow," he vowed, reading the reluctance in her eyes. "I won't tell anyone. I promise."

Once again, Zowie studied his concerned face. She remembered thinking that, hadn't Orlando entered her life, she would have probably developed strong feelings for the young actor before her. What could have happened had she let those feelings grow? She mentally shook her head. Now she would never know.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone," Zowie begged. When Elijah nodded, she urged him to put his commitment into words. "Say it, Lij."

"I won't tell anyone. I swear."

Zowie took a deep breath, pain seeping through her every fibre. She knew she was taking a wild gamble and that she was risking too much, but the pain was simply too much for her to carry it alone.

"We... we had sex," she murmured, her eyes low with shame. "But Orlando was so drunk he doesn't remember a thing."

"What? How?" Elijah blurted out, shock overwhelming him as all colour left his face.

Yet, the minute those words left his lips and Zowie blushed into a bright, crimson red, he realised how stupid his question had been.

"What do you mean with _how_ , Lij? Do you honestly need an explanation?" Snapping at him didn't make her feel any better, but Zowie was far from controlling her reactions.

Blushing under her harsh stare, Elijah gave Zowie an apologetic look.

"What I'm trying to say is... how did it happen? I mean, you told me Orlando was drunk and I know that can happen, but-" suddenly, Elijah cut himself mid-sentence. His lips forming a silent, surprised O, his eyes drifted into the distance for the briefest second as he pondered the thought that had just stricken him. Could it be that Orlando...? Fixing his blue eyes on Zowie's darker, tearful ones, Elijah took her hands in his as his gaze bore into hers. "I'm sorry to ask this, Zow, but..." his silence was a reluctant one, but taking a deep breath, Elijah gathered the courage to put into words his biggest concern, almost dreading her answer. "Did Orlando... did he force you?"

Zowie averted her gaze, not quite able to look at him in the eye. Reluctantly revisiting the events of that night, she executed an analysis on them that brought even more pain to her already lacerated heart.

Had Orlando forced her? Zowie closed her eyes, drawing a deep, shaky breath. It wasn't easy to admit it, but there had never been a moment when Orlando had forced himself on her, when Zowie hadn't been the most willing and cooperative participant. If anything, she had gladly joined Orlando as soon as he had showed the slightest interest. As painful as it was, she had to admit she had brought that upon herself.

When she answered, her voice was nothing but a soft, tiny whisper Elijah had trouble comprehending.

"Orlando didn't have to force me."

At those words, Elijah allowed himself a tiny sigh of relief before another concern crossed his mind. Was Zowie telling the truth? Knowing her devotion for Orlando, Elijah wouldn't be surprised if Zowie tried to turn all the blame on herself. Nonetheless, it only took one quick glance in her direction to understand she wasn't lying. Although grief, disappointment, and heartache glowed in her eyes, they couldn't hide the honesty he could read in them.

It broke his heart to see her that way, but as hard as it was, Elijah couldn't help thinking that Zowie had her share of guilt on what had happened. Not that he would ever rub that on her face, of course, but it helped him even things out. Neither was Orlando entirely to blame for what had happened, yet neither was Zowie. They both shared the guilt, and they would have to learn to deal with it.

A sob shaking Zowie's body brought Elijah back to the matter at hand.

"Orlando wasn't supposed to forget about it! He started it, how could he do this to me?"

Her words picking his interest, Elijah scooted closer, bringing Zowie to his arms as concern rose in his heart. He wanted to help Zowie, but in order to do so he needed to know exactly what had happened.

"How did this happen, Zowie?" Elijah asked, inching away from her enough to look at her in the eye. "If Orlando was so drunk, then how did you guys come to it in the first place?"

Once again, Zowie shyly lowered her eyes. Having trusted no one, she was still unsure as to whether Elijah was the right one to share the details with. However, as her eyes sought in his, Zowie realised she couldn't hide the memories forever; if she did, they would only poison her heart and soul to a point of no return. She didn't want to be jaded, she wanted to be normal! Zowie needed to let it all out, and the understanding in Elijah's face told her he was, indeed, the right one.

"I was... I was trying to help him," she said, her voice low and soft as she began to tell the story, memories playing clearly in her mind. "Orlando seemed ready to sleep on the sofa and I felt guilty for leaving him there, so I helped him upstairs to his room. He seemed quite... if not sober, at least better than he had been in the taxi," a blush crept up her cheeks at the memories, and Elijah read in her reaction all those things she wouldn't say.

"What happened in the taxi?"

Zowie closed her eyes. It was funny how, back then, the pain had seemed unbearable. Now she could laugh at it, for it was nothing compared to the torment she was going through.

"He..." reluctant, she shyly looked up at her friend. "He tried to kiss me." When Elijah's eyes widened, Zowie rushed to add. "Orlando began to tell me how beautiful he thought I was, and next thing I know, he's leaning in for a kiss. It never happened, though. Before he got to do it, the taxi took a sharp turn and he fell on his back, and I was left there waiting."

Elijah winced at the pitiful tone in Zowie's voice as she retold the story of the disastrous Saturday night. He could very well imagine Zowie anxiously waiting for a kiss, and Orlando falling flat on his back due to the alcohol in his system. At that, Elijah began to understand Zowie's pain better. She had been given something that should have been perfect and, instead, it had turned to be a nightmare that now haunted her.

Zowie shook her head before going back to the story, her eyes dark with grief.

"I brought him inside... the driver helped me. Then I took Orlando upstairs, and I was ready to leave when I realised he was trying to take his clothes off. He couldn't even unbuckle his belt, Lij... what was I supposed to do?" her eyes urged Elijah to understand her, to share her decision instead of judging it. "I was helping him when he kissed me, and..."

Zowie couldn't finish her sentence. Pain shot through her, mixed with humiliation at how willingly and easily she had caved in, and more sobs wrecked her body. When had it all gone so wrong? When had her dream turned into that horrible nightmare that threatened to swallow her completely?

Elijah felt his own throat knotting at the sight of Zowie's sheer grief. Bringing her closer, he ran a hand up and down her back, hopelessly trying to soothe some of her pain away.

The moment Elijah felt Zowie desperately clutching his costume, he couldn't help but feel some of her pain filtering inside him, gnawing at his heart. As it did, a thought began to grow in his mind, one that gave her grief a new, different dimension, but that Elijah didn't quite dare to put into words. It was so private, so intimate, how could he possibly ask her something like that?

Yet, that concept continued taking shape in Elijah's mind, bringing itself forward in a way that didn't allow him to ignore it for much longer. Struggling, he discovered how hard it was to find in himself the courage to ask the next question.

"Zow?" Elijah noted she tried to answer his call, but her sobs were so strong, they blocked her words. Instead, Zowie looked up at him with such pain-stricken eyes, that Elijah fidgeted in his spot. "Was it your first time?"

Elijah didn't need any other answer than the stiffening of Zowie's body in his protecting arms. Closing his eyes, Elijah felt his own heart breaking.

Everything was clear now. It all made perfect, painful sense. Zowie had given Orlando her first time, and he didn't remember it ever happening. Holding her tight, Elijah listened to her crying, hoping against hope she would, in some way, let go of at least an ounce of her grief. He knew it would be unrealistic to hope Zowie to get over it any time soon, but Elijah trusted her youth would do the trick. He knew it would take time, probably longer than Lij could even imagine, but eventually, Zowie would heal; Elijah just prayed her wounds weren't too deep or took too long to scar, creating an everlasting pain that would only bring her more misery.

It was in that precise moment that Elijah felt torn inside. He had to leave; Lij was sure Peter had half the people on set turning the location upside down to find him, and although they were a bit set apart from the hustle, it was only a matter of time until someone found them there.

The true loyalty Elijah felt towards Zowie, the knowledge of her need of a shoulder to cry on, and his responsibility towards his job, they all struggled inside him, tearing his heart up when he realised that whatever he did, he was certainly going to let someone down. Either Peter, Zowie, or himself, Elijah knew his decision wouldn't be harmless.

"Zowie, I... Peter must be looking for me," he hesitated, unsure as to how to voice his thoughts without hurting her any further. "I mean, I don't want to leave you alone, but-"

In his arms, Zowie emitted a soft, surprised gasp before pulling herself up. Not sure what to expect from her reaction, Elijah eyed her warily until he noticed the hint of understanding in her eyes.

"God, I forgot all about it! Go, Lij... Go!" she urged him, clumsily wiping the tears that stained her cheeks. "I don't want you to get in any trouble with Peter because of me.”

When Elijah took her face in his hands, he studied Zowie closely. He appreciated her concern, but in that moment, Elijah didn't need her to be selfless; he only needed to know she would be able to get through that day without breaking down.

"Will you be okay?"

Zowie studied Elijah between her tears, and some of the heavy weight in her heart lifted at the sight of him and his concern. He hadn't judged her; if anything, Lij had only listened, sharing her pain. His hug, his touch, his concern, they made her feel loved and cared for, to the point of pushing some of the darkness away.

"I will," she whispered, her fingers letting go of his costume and smoothing the creases she had created on the fabric. Then, with pleading eyes, she looked up at him. "Just promise me you won't tell anyone. My dad... he just can't find out, it would be insane if he did!" Zowie shivered at the thought. "And if as much as one person finds out, it's only a matter of time until someone tells Orlando, and that _can't_ happen."

The fervent tone in her last words made Elijah frown.

"Have you stopped to consider that maybe it's better for Orlando to know about this?"

"No!" Zowie's exclamation, powerful and terrified, took Elijah by surprise. "Orlando _can't_ find out. Do you know what will happen if he does? He'll try to make everything better, Lij, but all he'll do is stay away from me and I... I don't think I could stand that. It's bad enough as it is, but at least Orlando is still with me. If he left me, trying to make things right..."

Zowie didn't finish her speech. Neither did she need to, for her words had made it perfectly clear to Elijah that she would much rather stay beside an ignorant Orlando, than to have him away and knowing the truth. The concept didn't sit well with him, and while he let it rest for a while, knowing Zowie needed time, he would make sure to bring it up some time in the future. It wouldn't be easy to talk some sense into her, but he would surely try.

"Don't worry, Zow. I won't tell anyone, I promise," Zowie nodded, instantly at ease when she saw the honesty glowing in his blue eyes. "I'll be out there if you need me, okay? Don't hesitate. If you need to talk, just look for me, you hear me?"

Zowie nodded, sketching a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Letting Elijah into the truth of what had happened had lifted her spirits some, but the tears and the incessant whirl of images and thoughts in her mind was beginning to make her temples throb with hints of a strong headache.

Elijah knew better than to push her. Giving her one last hug and a soft kiss on her cheek, he stood up, giving her one last, thoughtful look before walking away. He didn't feel any better for leaving her alone like that, but his responsibilities couldn't be put on hold without letting more people into their circle. As he quickly walked away, Elijah only hoped, like he had before, that Zowie's wounds didn't take long to heal. If they did, they could very well leave scars that Zowie might no be able to deal with.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34.**

 

"Elijah, welcome!"

William's greeting was warm and friendly, escaping him the instant he opened the door to find the young man standing outside.

"Hi there, William. How are you?" Elijah responded, an appreciative grin playing on his lips as William ushered him in. A cold wind blew outside and the warmth of the Hart's household was much too inviting to be ignored.

Closing the door behind him, William then turned to him.

"Oh, I'm great, thanks for asking.” Elijah was about to add something when he noticed the mischievous spark in William's eyes. When the older man pointed to the door at his left with a meaningful arch of his eyebrow, Elijah couldn't help but smile. "You might want to go upstairs and have a seat, though,” William said in a purposefully loud tone. “Zowie usually takes _ages_ to get ready."

William knew his daughter wouldn't disappoint him. Before the echo of his words had faded around him, Zowie swiftly opened the door just enough to let her dad see, with no barriers whatsoever, the annoyed expression on her face.

"Just for your information, dad, I'm almost ready, so could you please shut up?" giving her father an admonishing look that failed to make William feel any guilty, Zowie then rolled her eyes before focusing them on her friend. "Please ignore my dad, Lij... he's getting senile."

Before Elijah could add anything, or that William could defend himself, Zowie slammed the door closed, a clear indication that as far as she was concerned, that argument was over.

Too bad she wasn't counting on William's exceptionally good mood.

" _Almost_ ready? You might seriously want consider my offer, Elijah."

"Hey, I heard that!"

When the sound of William's laughter filtered through the closed door, Zowie couldn't help but shake her head, a small smile playing on her lips. Yes, her dad was indeed a pain, especially when in a good mood, but something inside Zowie clung to his joy for it helped her keep the shadows at bay. Controlling those got more difficult with each passing minute, and they seemed to loom around her, promising more heartache and pain than Zowie could endure.

It hadn't been easy carrying on as normally as she could with so much pain in her heart. In fact, it had been the hardest thing she had ever done. Zowie hadn't lived during the past week; she had barely managed to survive.

Closing her eyes, Zowie took a deep, shaky breath. Why couldn't Orlando remember that night? If only his mind opened up in some way, letting him see how much he actually wanted her, then the stupid _friend_ label would disappear in a second.

Zowie knew the feelings were there. If they didn't exist, if she was just seeing things, then why had Orlando been so intent on kissing her, on making love to her? The fact that he didn't remember wanting her so much lashed new wounds on Zowie's broken heart, making her wish for some sort of remedy to ease her pain, allowing her to live life the way she used to. But there was none, and Zowie was left with the prospect of living each day with the knowledge that the man she adored, loved her as nothing but a dear friend, and that he would do nothing to change the way their relationship was. The sheer relief in Orlando's face when she lied to him about that night had showed her that.

But even with all those feelings overwhelming her, Zowie would never stop seeing Orlando. She wasn't lying when telling Elijah she preferred to have an ignorant Orlando by her side, than an aware one away from her. As much as it hurt her to see his ignorance, the mere thought of him not being there was simply unbearable. Not that Elijah agreed with her, of course.

Thinking of him made her smile. Zowie and Elijah had always had a great relationship, but it wasn't until they had gone through that ordeal together that she realised she could truly and honestly call him her _friend_. When Zowie had felt lonelier than ever before, when she had felt she had no one to turn to, Elijah had been there. He was the only person, out of all the ones she could have possibly shared her story with, that wouldn't feel entitled to attack Orlando or judge her upon hearing what she had to say.

He had done none of those things. Instead, Elijah had focused on listening to her, knowing it was exactly what she needed the most at the time. Every time that during the past week Zowie had felt like breaking down, Elijah had been there to hold her up. He cared for her, and even now he was sacrificing his night out to spend it with her in hopes of keeping her mind away from the shadows. Zowie had to admit she wasn't entirely sure it could work, but she had to give it to Elijah for trying. She had no idea what he had planned for the evening, but what Zowie did know, however, was that she owed Elijah more than she could ever be able to repay him.

But she didn't want to linger on such thoughts. Elijah had a goal for the evening, and Zowie vowed herself to try and do her best to please him. How could she not try, considering all that he had done for her?

With a sigh, Zowie checked herself in the mirror. Well, William wasn't going to complain about her clothes that night, that was for sure! Wearing a simple pair of dark blue jeans, a red top, and high heeled boots that Zowie knew would make Elijah pout when he realised she was taller than him, she was wearing something she would wear on an afternoon out with a friend. A hint of guilt rose inside Zowie at the sight. Perhaps she should have tried harder, if only in Elijah's benefit, but no matter how grateful she felt for everything he had done, Zowie still didn't feel like putting on a show. In fact, she hadn't been up to going out that night at all, fearing the outcome. Was she ready to witness as Orlando flirted with other girls? Absolutely not, and as far as she was concerned, she would never be. Hadn't Elijah vowed they would hit the town on their own, Zowie would have stayed put, regardless of the urge that prompted her to escape those four walls that seemed to close in on her.

Realising she was once again falling captive to those dreaded feelings, Zowie shook her head. She had been given a golden chance, and she couldn't let it slip between her fingers. Grabbing her purse and coat, she switched the lights off on her way out, firmly closing the door of her bedroom behind her and hoping all the bad thoughts and shadows that chased her remained there, vanishing while she was absent.

The sound of heels clicking on the wooden staircase warned the occupants of the kitchen that Zowie was coming. Elijah, sitting at the dinner table and chatting amicably with William, glanced over his shoulder as she made her entrance.

"So, dad... how long did I take?"

Not one bit deterred by Zowie's comment, William smiled widely.

"Who knows? I'm certainly _not_ counting." Removing an invisible moth from his shirt, he turned his eyes back to Zowie. "But I'd say some time around five minutes. Definitely not bad for a Saturday night."

Zowie sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes to let William know exactly what she thought of his fake disinterest. However, a little smile played on her lips. As much as she pretended to be bothered by William's good mood, it was much better to have him acting like that, that him being an angry, hungry bear just woken from a long hibernation. She knew both sides very well, and she would much rather deal with the light-hearted William instead. It was in those moments when she got anything she wanted, and while there wasn't something she could think of that her father could give her right away -for he couldn't miraculously open Orlando's mind to the memories-, Zowie still felt like playing with him some, wanting to know how good his mood actually was.

Giving Elijah a soft kiss on the cheek, Zowie plopped down on the chair beside him, leaning against him so she could eye the drink he was holding.

"What time are we coming back, Lij?"

Elijah tried to answer, but William beat him at it, his smile never leaving his lips.

"Not later than 3AM, I suppose."

Zowie grinned.

"Four."

"Absolutely no way."

William's smile had yet to leave his face, but Zowie knew she was on the right path.

"Five, then."

That did the trick.

"You're kidding, Zowie... aren't you?" his smile had disappeared, and William stared at her as if debating with himself whether he wanted to strangle her, or lock her up in her room. When Zowie grinned evilly, William huffed angrily. "Please take her away, Elijah. She has ruined my good mood enough already as it is."

Zowie let out a soft laugh. Standing up, she reached her dad's spot in only a few steps and gave him a hug.

"I'll be back on time, don't worry." Then, staring back at him, Zowie gave him a puzzled look. "Wait, no complaints about my outfit tonight?"

William gave her a thorough look, seemingly looking for something to complain about and pouting when he found none. Still, not wanting to be defeated, William eyed the top and the way it defined her curves and frowned.

"Well, the top _is_ a bit revealing..."

Zowie rolled her eyes, deciding she had had more than enough of her father's good mood to last her for, most likely, the entire weekend. Grabbing Elijah's arm, she barely offered him a chance to say goodbye before dragging him out of the kitchen and down the stairs.

"Good night, dad! Don't wait up!"

"Then come back at 3AM!"

Zowie mumbled her frustration under her breath. So much for thinking she could use his good mood against him!

Still complaining, Zowie didn't notice Elijah had remained silent. Now, as she closed the house's door behind her, she realised her friend was unusually quiet. Turning around with a curious look, Zowie was taken aback by the offended look on his face.

"Did I do something wrong?" Zowie blinked, earning herself a brief look from Elijah.

"Did you really have to wear those damn high heels _again_? Do you know what they're doing to my ego, Zow? They're stepping all over it!"

For a moment, Zowie remained blank, staring open mouthed at her friend. Then, the moment his words slowly filtered in her brain, she couldn't help but punch his arm in a way that would have made her mum accuse her of having lost all her femininity. Elijah, of course, complained. And loudly.

"For God's sake, I thought you were mad at me!" shaking her head, Zowie gave his arm another punch, a softer one this time. "You deserve me stepping all over your ego for making me swallow my heart with fear! By the way, you should start thinking of something new to say... I just _knew_ you were going to complain about my heels."

Elijah snickered at her, following her closely when she headed towards his car with hurried steps.

"But I'm being honest here, Zowie!" he exclaimed, wanting to tease her some more. "Do you know what people do when they see a short guy like me next to a tall, pretty girl like you? They laugh! They're cruel!"

Zowie couldn't help but smile at his comment. She could see he was only teasing, but she had to admit there was an undeniable truth in his words. Whoever saw them together that night would, at the very least, arch an eyebrow with amusement.

"Oh, like you care! Besides, you'll forget all about that and probably all about me, too, the moment girls start coming on to you. I know you," stopping on her tracks so suddenly that she almost made Elijah collide against her back, Zowie spun on her heels with an evil smile. "Or... I could do the same thing you guys do every night we go out and scare said girls away. After all, you guys do it with absolutely _all_ the guys that try to talk to me."

"That's different," Elijah quickly defended his and his friends' honour. "Ninety nine percent of those guys are creeps and they want to do naughty things to you. On the other hand, I'm very much looking for girls to do naughty things with, so you better keep your mouth shut and smile the moment they start showing up."

Zowie's evil grin grew wider.

"Don't count on it, Lij."

"Blah, blah, blah," with a roll of his eyes, Elijah took a swift step aside and walked past Zowie mumbling something under his breath.

Grinning, Zowie followed her friend with quick steps, looking for an escape to the cold wind blowing in from the sea. Elijah obviously had similar thoughts, for not long had passed before they were sitting inside the car, the elements safely locked outside.

"So... where are we going?"

Zowie was proud of how nonchalant her question had sounded. It was quite an achievement, considering that, deep down inside, her feelings were anything but. Out of the possible destinations when on a night out in Wellington, Zowie knew the cast's favourites by heart. The other actors had been surprised when finding out Zowie had declined their invitation for a night out, and she had had a hard time coming up with a good, plausible excuse that would make their curious, well-meaning questions stop. She didn't know how Elijah had handled their questions about his own refusal, though. She just hoped that, wherever she and Lij were going, the others wouldn't be around.

"Didn't I tell you?" Elijah's surprised look told Zowie he held no information from her. At least, not on purpose. "We're going to Cubic," when he saw her nodding thoughtfully, Elijah hurried to add. "The others are going to Molly Malone's, so I thought we could try something... well, different."

Zowie smiled at him, not sure she could put into words how much she appreciated his gesture. She still tried, although she was certain there weren't enough words to express how much she thanked him for everything he was doing for her.

"Thanks, Lij. I... I really appreciate what you're doing. I kind of threw you into this mess and you've been great to me. I just don't know how I will ever pay you back for all of this."

Elijah shook his head with a smile.

"You don't have to. Besides, it's nice to hang out with you... when you don't want to humiliate me with your high heels, that's it."

Again, Zowie punched his arm, ignoring Elijah's complaints of a potential bruise forming. His tirade didn't last long, though, and soon, he was driving through Wellington, their minds focused on having the best time they could.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35.**

_“Come and have a go_

_if you think you're hard enough.”_

**_Robbie Williams – Millennium_ **

 

While making it to the club hadn't taken longer than a few minutes, getting inside the venue was an even shorter affair; the bouncers already knew Elijah and they ushered him and Zowie in in no time.

Zowie had always been puzzled by all the attention the actors got, but Elijah's case was especially interesting to observe. Having grown up in the movie business, it wouldn't have been much of a surprise if he basked in the adulation he got and acted accordingly. However, Elijah never played that part. If anything, he did his best to fly under the radar and go as unnoticed as possible, and that was another virtue of his that Zowie added to the list. Sure, he still had one hell of a temper and wasn't afraid to show it, but so did she, and that was what made him a human.

The idea of how lucky she was to have Elijah in her life never left Zowie's mind, and all of his actions through the night did nothing but reinforce that thought. True to his word, Elijah did everything within his power to erase all piteous thoughts from her mind. There was always something to do, someone to meet and chat to, a new, cool song to dance along... for hours, Zowie's mind was meticulously kept away from the shadows that never left her side for long.

Yet, despite their best efforts, the darkness still lurked and when it caught up with Zowie, it found her unaware and helpless under its merciless attack. She had been so happy and light-spirited that having such sombre feelings hitting her so unexpectedly almost knocked all breath from her lungs. Still, Zowie battled hard against them, fighting for every inch before the darkness tore all her defences down.

It hadn't been easy, but until then, Zowie had managed to keep the shadows at bay. That night, however, being surrounded by so many people having a good time only served to make Zowie realise how lonely she truly was. The idea of telling Elijah she wasn't feeling well and that she wanted to leave briefly crossed her mind, but when her eyes met the sight of him dancing with a pretty girl he had just met, Zowie mentally shook her head. She couldn't ruin his fun, she _wouldn't_ do it either. She had coped with this before, and she was perfectly capable of doing the same now.

Chanting those words like a sacred mantra, Zowie sat by the bar, ignoring the noise and lights around her and focusing solely on not giving in to the darkness whirling inside her. But her heart and mind battled one another, the latter succeeding on playing the most tormenting images before her eyes, the same ones that made her choke for breath.

What if what Orlando did that night wasn't too different from what Elijah was doing in that precise moment? What if he was having the time of his life with a random girl while Zowie was prisoner to feelings that only filled her with grief? Tears blurred her eyes, making her sob. Had Orlando even wondered why she wasn't there with him? Had he even given it a second thought? Would he ever, or would he simply carry on with his life, not giving Zowie a single thought as he took another girl home to bring to a successful completion what had been nothing but a disaster between them? Desperate, Zowie tried to stifle her cry of pain, but a second later reality hit her. No one would hear her cry. No one would even care. The only person who truly cared, Zowie couldn't bring herself to drag him along more than she already had. She was, literally, alone when surrounded by hundreds of people, and the thought made a searing grief course her veins.

"Hey, girl! How are you doing tonight?"

Hadn't Zowie heard those cheerful words spoken directly into her ear, she would have never imagined they were directed at her. But the voice had indeed addressed to her, and the warm breath that touched her cheek was unmistakable.

Hiding her face behind her long hair, Zowie quickly brushed the tears that had managed to escape before allowing herself a sideways glance.

"Tony, hi!"

She knew her cheerful tone was nothing like the man's. She knew it most likely sounded as contrived as it could ever be, but in her current state, Zowie couldn't do any better. If he noticed it, well... he noticed it. Tony wasn't exactly a friend; in fact, he was just someone they happened to bump into almost every Saturday night, a clear indication of his predilection for the night life Wellington had to offer. While Zowie would have never labelled him as a friend, Tony was definitely someone nice and fun to hang out with when in the right mood. Which, sadly, wasn't the case that night.

Hoping to avoid Tony's curious look, Zowie waved to the bartender and asked for a drink.

"You didn't answer my question."

Tony caught her off guard. Jumping slightly on her stool, she turned to give him a questioning look.

"Sorry?"

"I asked you how you're doing tonight, but you never answered," Tony explained, asking for a drink of his own and paying for both his and hers when the bartender placed them before them.

"Thanks." Zowie gave him a tiny, cautious smile. As miserable as she felt, replaying the last Saturday night, that time with a complete stranger, was the last thing on her mind. "I'm doing well... taking a break from the dance floor, I'm exhausted."

Tony nodded, but since Zowie looked away the instant she finished her answer, she didn't notice the look on his face as he studied her. Even if there wasn't enough light to tell for sure, Tony didn't miss the swell in her eyes or the slightly smudged make up, all tell-tale signs of tears. He didn't know much about Zowie other than she used to hang out with the actors. Still, the girl sitting before him was a far cry from the one he was used to seeing dancing and laughing with her friends. That's why he didn't believe a single word she said.

"Where's your friend?"

"You mean Lij? He's out there, dancing... unless he ran away with that girl and left me stranded here."

Tony smiled courteously.

"Yeah, I saw him. But I actually meant Orlando. Where's the pretty boy?"

Zowie couldn't help the pained expression that crossed her features, which Tony noticed right away. Ah ha, so _that_  was the problem! He had always wondered what was actually going on between Zowie and Orlando, and although that wasn't enough of an answer, it gave him a few ideas. A lovers' brawl, maybe? What else could possibly bring such pain to Zowie's face at the sole mention of Orlando's name?

Moving closer to her, Tony studied her carefully.

"Are you alright, Zowie?"

She stiffened to an almost aching point. Was her pain so obvious?

"I am. Honestly." She said, trying to put on a smile on her face that only came across as miserable and fake. "Nothing a drink can't make better."

Tony said nothing, but that didn't stop him from studying her closely. One thing was for sure: Zowie was a terrible liar. Yet, whether she was sad or depressed didn't matter, for he wouldn't be the one to offer her a shoulder to cry on. He had seen the same thing happening over and over, and that experience was enough for him to know exactly what she needed. Zowie didn't know it, but he was the helping hand she was after.

Why didn't he leave? Hoping Tony would get the silent message, Zowie looked away. Busy trying to get her point across, she didn't see him slipping his hand in his pocket until he grabbed her own, posing something in her palm and quickly closing her fingers around it.

Shocked, Zowie turned to him with a slightly aggravated look. Tony might be a nice guy, but he was certainly overstepping the boundaries, and she had every intention of letting him know exactly what she thought of him when he smiled at her knowingly.

Leaning in towards her, Tony's voice was suggestive and promising when he murmured in her ear.

"There's absolutely nothing this can't make disappear, Zowie. Trust me."

Zowie had no chance to answer, for Tony left her side almost as quickly as he had appeared. Her awe was so big, it took her some time to remember the item he had so secretively slipped in her hand. Although she braced herself for the worst, nothing could match the shock that stunned when her fingers opened and her eyes met Tony's present.

Zowie wasn't stupid, and she knew exactly what it was that Tony had posed on her hand the moment she could make it out in the dim lights of the club. Countless times she had got the warning talk, either at home or at school, where the people in her life had hoped to provide her with enough information to keep her away from this very situation. It was a pill, and she didn't need to go after Tony to understand what it was for.

Staring at it with an almost fascinated glow in her eyes, Tony's words echoed in her mind.

_"There's absolutely nothing this can't make disappear, Zowie. Trust me."_

It was crazy. Insane. Never in her entire life had Zowie imagined she would be that close to drugs of any kind, and uneasiness coiled in her tummy. She knew what those things did to people, had been fed that from a very young age. It didn't matter if it worked miracles as Tony had promised; the dangers were too high to even consider it.

Zowie thought of throwing it away, of _accidentally_ dropping it to the floor, but with so many people around her, she didn't want to risk anyone seeing her. She couldn't let Elijah walk in on her holding that either, so she chose what she thought was the most sensible option: she slipped it in her pocket with every intention of flushing it down the toilet the moment she finished her drink.

Still lingering by the bar and trying to shake off the shock of Tony's audacity, Zowie noticed the couple standing beside her. They couldn't be much older than her, and the girl seemed absolutely in love with the boy. Zowie could easily relate to that, but thinking that the man she loved had only kissed her when drunk brought a searing pain to her heart. Would she ever have that? And what would she do if she didn't? Zowie shivered at the thought, her stomach twisting and her heart breaking under the weight of her grief. She knew those thoughts led her nowhere, but she couldn't stop them. If only she had an 'off' button somewhere inside her brain, a way to shut her head down to all the pain and sorrow...

Muttering a curse under her breath, Zowie noisily put her glass down and walked away, unable to put up with the scene before her when her own pain was so strong and overwhelming. Holding her tears at bay only by sheer determination, Zowie made her way to the ladies' room hoping against hope to find an empty stall where she could lock herself up and cry until she had no more tears left.

Much to her dismay, and although she should have imagined it, the ladies' room was full. Her eyes darted left and right, but ever single stall seemed to be occupied, and it made her want to scream. She _needed_ to be alone! Focused on battling that familiar feeling of pressure on her chest, Zowie noticed, out of the corner of her eye, a door opening at her right. She didn't waste any time. Swiftly passing the girl who was next in line, Zowie slid inside the cubicle, locking the door behind her.

An aggravated voice floated from outside.

"Hey! I was next!"

"Fuck off!"

That wasn't the moment for Zowie to remember the manners she had been taught at home, or the strong beliefs nuns had instilled her over the years. In that moment, cursing seemed the most natural and liberating thing to do. She didn't care if she offended anyone. In fact, she cared little about anything else but her own pain and how she was now free to let it flow, hoping to find what little consolation tears brought.

Between the sobs and the lump in her throat, Zowie found it hard to breathe. Feeling a bit dizzy, she leaned back against the wall, her face in her hands as her mouth, gaping open, tried to capture as much air as possible. Whatever it was that plagued her, it had started not long after her disastrous experience with Orlando, and it got worst with every single time. Yet, as worrying as those symptoms could be, they were soon replaced by the taunting images of the couple kissing.

Could Elijah be right? Could it be true that it was preferable for Orlando to know the truth? But if he did, how would he react? In her heart, Zowie knew exactly how _she_ wanted him to react. She wanted him to take her in his arms and kiss her like that guy had done to his girl just seconds ago. However, deep down inside, she knew he wouldn't. Orlando's fear of doing something as simple as kissing her told Zowie the truth in his feelings.

He didn't love her.

Sobs, as strong as nothing she had ever experienced before, shook Zowie's body. It was just so hard to admit it, so hard! It broke her heart. Laying limply against the wall, Zowie let her grief wash over her, all sorts of tormenting images crowding her mind. They took their toll on her, and she soon found herself exhausted and, having cried all her tears, suffering her pain in a way that was even worse. With her eyes dry and red, Zowie stared blindly into the distance, once again hoping she had a way to shut her brain down to those images that danced before her eyes, laughing at her, lashing new wounds in her heart.

It was then that Zowie remembered. She had rejected its promises at first, but the words did, once again, echo in her mind.

_"There's absolutely nothing this can't make disappear, Zowie. Trust me."_

As if her body acted of its own accord, Zowie only discovered her palm had extracted the little pill from her pocket the moment she found herself staring at it. The promises were dangerous, yet highly seductive at the same time. It was too much of a risk, too much... she couldn't do it! The pill burnt in her palm and curiosity glowed in her face. Zowie had been looking for a way out of her pain, a manner of letting only happier thoughts inside. Tony had handed her one on a silver platter or, actually, in a foil wrapping. It was red and impossible to ignore, just as her grief. She couldn't do it... she simply couldn't do it, the danger was too much!

But the moment the memories of Orlando's fear slipped back in her mind, making her heart ache even if her eyes remained dry, Zowie instinctively knew she wouldn't be able to put up with that much longer. Going back to Elijah looking like a wreck was out of the question, and that was all she would achieve if she carried on like that. Or, God forbid, end up in a hospital, which was even worse.

The moment Zowie made up her mind, she knew she couldn't think about it any more. Just that once, she promised herself. Just one time, one night, until all the pain faded away. She wasn't looking for a thrill; she was only looking for a way out, an escape, a moment of silence from the torturing images that found great pleasure on mocking her. Just one time. Zowie knew too much, and she was much too smart to let that win. Just one time and she would never, ever, do it again...

***

Handing the bartender a bill, Elijah took his drink and turned around to scan the crowd. The blinking lights didn't make it any easier for him to find what he was looking for, but the moment he saw a familiar figure shimming her way through the dancers, Elijah let out a sigh of relief. His reaction, however, sent guilt spiralling inside him. That night was meant to make Zowie feel better, make her forget all the ugly things she had been through in the past week. Yet, instead of focusing on making it a memorable night for her, he had left her aside to have a dance with a girl he had just met. Sure, Zowie had insisted, practically pushing him into the dance floor. And while Shannon, his new acquaintance, was very lovely girl, none of that could conceal could the fact that he was doing a lousy job of making his friend feel better.

His feelings of regret, however, soon vanished when she noticed that Zowie, having spotted him by the bar, approached him with a wide smile. She bounced all the way towards him, her steps falling into the beat of the music, her body swaying as she walked. At first, Elijah smiled, amused by her display. It was a relief to see her obviously enjoying herself so much, but he couldn't help but wonder how much of that was actually _her_ , and how much was a show she put in others' favour. Maybe Zowie was trying a bit too hard to appear joyful, but could Elijah actually blame her? Not really, to be honest. He just hoped it wouldn't backfire on her later.

"Hi, Lij!" Zowie gave him such a bright smile that it made him blink with its intensity, and her eyes, wide and aware, held no traces of sadness whatsoever. Convincing himself that he was reading too much into the situation, and that it wasn't actually so hard to believe that Zowie could be having a good time, Elijah smiled at her, although in a less bright manner.

"Having fun, aren't we?" he didn't need to elaborate on that thought to make Zowie understand what he was talking about. She gave him an unrepentant grin in return before looking around, a question glowing in her blue eyes.

"Where's your _friend_?"

Elijah gave her an admonishing look that she shrugged off with an arch of her eyebrow.

"My _friend_ , whose name happens to be Shannon," Elijah answered meaningfully, "is out there, somewhere, with her own friends."

Now dancing on her spot, Zowie shot him a disbelieving glance.

"What? Loosing your touch, Elijah? Did you at least get her number, or anything?"

He shot her a murderous look.

"Hey! Who do you take me for?"

His reply made Zowie laugh. Then, taking him by surprise, Zowie grabbed Elijah's hand and, ignoring what little denial came from him, dragged her friend to the dance floor. If Elijah found her energy, her euphoria strange, he mentioned nothing about it. If anything, Elijah blamed it on Zowie's need to erase the memories and pain. If she got to achieve that through some energetic, enthusiastic dancing, then so be it. Besides, Elijah was keeping her rather discordant dancing in mind for future reference. The moment she tried to tease him, well... he would have some ammunition of his own to fire back with.

Unaware of Elijah's musings, Zowie let herself be carried away by the sheer euphoria she felt coursing her veins. Long gone were the cautious thoughts of before, as well as all the painful memories and images that had plagued her. All through the night, no other thought crossed Zowie's mind but the joy she was feeling. She had enough energy to dance the night away and then some, and she cared nothing about what would happen later or what Orlando was doing in that precise moment. As she danced, throwing her arms in the air as she blindly followed the beat of the music, Zowie felt complete, happy and relieved. The future was still too far away and too uncertain to care about it, and Orlando... he never came to her mind. Whatever he was doing was his own business. That night, everything was perfect, all sorrow had vanished, and for the first time in days, Zowie was happy. And she longed for that feeling to last.

In the distance, shadowed by dancing bodies and blinking, almost dizzying lights, Tony's eyes followed each of Zowie's actions, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He could read the signs when he saw them and he hadn't been wrong. He had yet to, Tony mused with a smug grin. It was, of course, a gamble every single time... he never knew for sure how his chosen subjects would take his offer, how they would react, and if he would ever get in trouble for it, but so far, his instincts had never failed him.

Zowie had look every bit his usual prospect. Lost, devastated, desperate for a way out of her problems he was more than eager to offer. Tony didn't know what troubled her so much and, to be honest, neither did he care. What he knew, however, was that he, and no one else, held to key to open Zowie the door to quick and total relief. Of course that relief wouldn't last long, but that was the key point of his business. Something told him Zowie was barely aware of what she had taken. Sure, she obviously knew what the tiny red pill was supposed to do to her, otherwise she wouldn't have taken it, but Tony was willing to bet she didn't know what the true effects were.

Ecstasy worked that way. Now, Zowie most likely felt that not a single problem in the world could touch her, and that whatever was making her depressed had, as if by a work of magic, vanished in the air. That feeling would last probably a few more hours, but once it died down, Zowie would be, once again, face to face with a cruel reality that would hit her with the strength of a tidal wave. The only difference would be that, after that night, Zowie would know what it took to make all that disappear and, in her desperation, she would come back to him, extending his network and business.

Long ago had Tony learnt to silence his conscience to a point where it didn't bother him any more. Was it wrong to do what he did? Probably. But while it lasted, he would milk it for all it was worth. He had no personal feelings at all for Zowie, neither did he wish her any harm. She was merely another piece in Tony's plan, and he would never think of her as something else.

Still smiling, Tony shot Zowie one last look before looking away, his eyes falling on a pretty redhead whose anxious eyes shone with a pleading expression. Tony grinned. Another pretty girl who had realised life wasn't as perfect as mummy and daddy had made her believe. Another princess whose crown had shattered to pieces at her feet. Another pawn in his despicable, yet highly profitable business.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36.**

 

Her heart thumped energetically in her chest, pumping blood up and down her body. Her breath, deep yet steady, flowed incessantly in and out of her, clearing her head and putting some order in her rambling thoughts. Zowie took it all, welcomed it, even, for it helped cleanse her being of all the traces of the previous night. Perhaps, if what physical evidences remained in her magically disappeared, so would the memories of her mistakes.

Zowie paid no attention to the steep hill beneath her feet as she ran towards Mount Victoria. If anything, her steps were sure and confident, never faltering in her effort. In her mind, Zowie refused to link that impulsive Sunday jog to a similar one merely a week ago, but hard as she tried to keep them separated, to think that there was no relation between both events, deep down inside she knew better. One Saturday night had led to the other, and she knew that very well.

She should have never done that. Zowie's fists clenched tighter, burying her fingernails on the tender flesh of her palms. She should have never, ever, accepted Tony's offer in the first place. Had Zowie been thinking straight, she would have gone after Tony the minute he walked away, shoving the pill back in his hand. Or, at the very least, do what she had first intended to do and flush it down the toilet just to forget something like that had ever happened to her.

But she hadn't.

Up until the previous night, there had been strict, clearly defined limits in Zowie's life; limits she had never been interested on crossing in such a reckless way. Sure, she had had her share of stupid mistakes in the past, but whatever blunders she had committed then had only been born of her innocence, of the wish of trying something new that seemed forbidden and off-limits. But there was a big difference between those moments, no matter how dangerous and risky they had seemed in their time, and what she had done the previous night.

None of those things had put her life in danger.

She should have never taken that pill. Ever.

What on earth had possessed her to do such stupid thing? Zowie had known very well that she was putting herself on the line when swallowing the tiny red pill. And still, she had gone ahead with it, taking it no matter what. She had accepted drugs from a complete stranger, for no matter how many times she had bumped into Tony in different clubs, she knew next to nothing about him other than he obviously liked to party a lot. And not happy with having accepted the pill from him, Zowie had made the ultimate mistake by taking it, having absolutely no idea what it was that she was feeding to her body. Sure, Zowie knew it was illegal, that it was wrong, she knew all the reasons why she should _never_ do it, and yet she had. And up to that moment, Zowie still didn't know what it was that she had taken, and the sole thought terrified her, even more so than not recalling much of the events after the drug had invaded her system.

The only thought that somehow eased Zowie's concerns was that Elijah had been by her side; hopefully, all the time. She didn't remember much after rushing into the ladies' room; at least, none other than the utter grief that had coursed her body, and the certainty that she was about to do something really, really wrong... something Zowie had, nonetheless, known she would do no matter what. Other than that, what little memories she had consisted of flashes that came to her during the most unexpected moments. She couldn't quite remember what she was doing in them; they all showed Elijah, and faces of people she didn't recognise.

What Zowie could clearly remember, however, was how good, how free, how joyous she had felt. And all those torturing images that had plagued her? They were all gone, leaving behind nothing but a sheer euphoria, one that made her want to dance the night away, one that gave her the energy to do so. All those self-deprecating thoughts that nagged her telling her she wasn't good enough, attractive enough, or even enough of a good lover to make Orlando remember what had happened, they all vanished, allowing her to feel good about herself for the first time in days. The pain... the pain was gone, too. But much to Zowie's dismay, it was back now, and with a vengeance that took her breath away, filling her with fear.

Zowie knew there was no plausible justification to her actions. She had been educated, by both her family and school from a very young age, to know what drugs were, the effect they had on people, and how wrong it was to yield to them. Nonetheless, Zowie had decided to ignore all those teachings in a stall of an overcrowded ladies' room, seeking an easy escape to her despondency, a way out of the shadows that crept up around her. It had succeeded, but it had left a fear in Zowie that she couldn't ignore.

Yes, it had erased her pain for a few hours, leaving her ecstatic and thinking that nothing was wrong in her life. Yet, it hadn't been enough to make the grief disappear for good. The numbness creeping up her heart in that moment was enough proof of that. It wasn't strange to her; it had coexisted with Zowie long enough for her to make it a part of her life.

However, what scared Zowie the most was the fact that she now knew there was an alternative, a way out of that numbness that worked more effectively than any other legal means. Knowledge was a powerful thing, and being aware of that possibility, that chance of killing her grief lingered in her mind, luring her into trying it once more, to give in to temptation and end her sadness.

The sole idea was terrifying, and Zowie pushed herself to her limit, as if hoping the physical pain could erase the psychological one. Her legs burnt and so did her lungs, but they reminded her that she was alive after her risky gamble the previous night. Fear trickled down her body at the endless possibilities of what could have happened to her while under the effect of that damn pill, enough to make her mind up.

She couldn't do it again. She _wouldn't_ do it again. Zowie would never put her life and health on the line. Never again. If Tony came to her, she would gladly tell him what she thought of his _presents_ and what he did to people. In fact, she was sure she could even go to the police if that became necessary.

But as Zowie's mind chanted those determinations as the mantra that would keep her away of all troubles, a tiny, yet very audible voice spoke in the back of her mind. One day, grief would become simply too powerful for her to withstand. And what she did about it that time, Zowie would never be able to blame it on someone else, but her. She just hoped to be strong enough to keep herself in the right path when the time came.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37.**

_“Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you_

_When you think everything's okay and everything's going right”_

**_Alanis Morissette - Ironic_ **

 

"Are you sure we've got everything from the list?"

Standing by the car, Zowie eyed the bags at her feet before slipping her hand in her back pocket, producing a crumpled piece of paper out. It was a rather long list, one Noemie had trusted her with when asking Zowie to get the groceries that Sunday morning. Zowie had complained, of course, but Noemie, knowing her daughter better than Zowie probably knew herself, had known exactly what to say to bribe her into doing the chores she had been appointed to.

_"You can take your dad's car if you want to! He went out for a jog, he won't mind."_

Well, Zowie wouldn't say no to that! Not even the slight change of plans when Jared volunteered to join her could put a damper on her mood; in fact, having Jay around proved to be exactly what she needed. Ditching the nearby Hataitai shops for the bigger supermarkets near the city centre, they had taken their time to get there, driving around and enjoying that newly found piece of freedom. It was the first time since Zowie had got her driver's license -the legal one, not the one with her _alternative_ identity- that her parents allowed her to take one of the family's cars on her own. Either Noemie was too busy or too lazy to get the groceries herself that morning, or she was giving Zowie the chance of a lifetime to prove herself responsible. Either way, Zowie wasn't going to waste it.

Surveying the long list and the bags at her feet, Zowie determined there was no way she and Jared could have forgotten anything.

"I think we do, yes," with a quick nod, Zowie crumpled the list and tossed it inside one of the bags before picking it up. "And we better hurry home before mum freaks out. She hasn't called already, has she?"

"No. Not yet, anyway," Jared answered, shaking his head and helping his sister loading the bags into the car's trunk. "But I'm sure it won't take long. I just know she must be wondering where we are and what's taking us so long."

"Well, it was a _long_ list, wasn't it?" Zowie gave her brother a conspiring look. Noemie didn't need to know about their stop at a record store that had taken a bit longer than planned, right? The proofs of said visit were hidden in the inside pockets of Jared's denim jacket, where they should remain until he got to his bedroom.

Enjoying of a companionable chat, the two older Hart siblings finished loading the trunk. Then, jumping in the car, they slowly began their journey home. They hadn't spent much time together as of late, and they missed each other's company. With Jared's finals and graduation approaching, and Zowie running away to join the movies' production whenever she could, every bit of time they got to share was precious.

A pang of guilt hit Zowie at the thought. It was her fault that she wasn't very up to date with Jared's life, but with the problems going on around her as of late, who could blame her? Realising how self-centred she had been didn't actually erase her guilt, but it made her see that a change was needed, and soon. Jared's finals were well under way, and before long, he would be moving to Auckland to study Law there. Even Jewell's life was changing, and Zowie knew nothing about it.

One hell of a big sister she was! Even if her siblings were a pain some times, Zowie still promised herself to get more involved. She needed to interact with them, spend more time with them, and that would only happen if she stopped thinking that the world revolved around her. That morning outing with Jared wasn't anywhere near enough, but it was definitely a start. Zowie could always keep true to her word and do something with Jewell that afternoon, once she got back from a sleepover at a friend's house.

"Urgh, God! Dad has some seriously crappy music in here!"

The aggravation in Jared's voice was enough to perk Zowie's interest. Stopping at a red light, she stared as he investigated the contents of the car's glove compartment, rummaging through the few CDs William kept there. It was mostly seventies stuff that earned him lots of teasing from his children, but that he would play, nonetheless, every time he sat behind the steering wheel.

"Should we throw them away?" Zowie asked.

"I would if I didn't know for sure I'd get in more trouble than I can handle," Jared mused, analysing the CD covers.

They were so busy dissecting William's music collection, that Zowie didn't notice the light changing from red to bright green until the car behind them honked, startling them. Looking up, Zowie eyed the driver behind them through the rear view mirror and mumbled grumpily.

"Alright, alright, I'm moving!"

Shaking his head, Jared let out an exasperated sigh.

"Can you please pay attention to the road? Come on, I'm a better driver than you!"

"Yes, but I'm the one with the license, so deal with it," Zowie retorted, her smile softening the acid in her voice. Focusing on the road, she got lost in the task of getting them home safely when a shocked gasp coming from Jared startled her.

"What's wrong?"

When Jared didn't answer, Zowie threw a quick glance in his direction. Pale and wide-eyed, he held what appeared to be a greeting card in one hand, and an envelope in the other.

"Jay? What's wrong?"

Her brother still offered her no response, and nothing indicated he had even listened to her question. Growing scared, Zowie parked the car in the first available spot and, stopping the engine, she turned to Jared with sheer concern on her face. Was he sick? Was he having a heart attack, or something equally horrible she had no idea how to deal with?

Yet, the moment Jared turned to her, Zowie's heart skipped a beat. His blue eyes, wide on her, were opaque with a mix of disbelief and fear, something she had never seen in them before.

"Jay, please!" Zowie urged him, not sure she could handle another second of uncertainty.

But Jared still didn't say a thing. Instead, he handed her the card, scaring Zowie with his paleness.

Intrigued as to what could cause such commotion, Zowie took the card, absently reading the message written in it.

_"Happy birthday, dad!_

_We love you and we miss you a lot. We can't wait for the summer holidays!_

_Love,_

_Cathy & Tim"_

Zowie felt even more puzzled than before after reading the message. What was it all about? Sure, the card was addressed to someone those kids' called dad, that was obvious, but that still didn't explain why it was in her own father's car.

"What is this?" she mumbled, trying to make any sense out of it.

It was then that, for the first time since his discovery, Jared spoke.

"Look at the picture."

"What picture?" Zowie asked, not quite understanding what Jared was trying to say.

"The one on the cover, damn it! That picture!"

For a second, Zowie stared at Jared with a dumbfounded look on her face. Something really wrong had to be going on for Jared to snap at her that way, and the picture was obviously the key factor behind his outburst.

Flipping the card closed, Zowie stared curiously at the picture. Two smiling kids posed for it, a boy around Jared's age, and a girl that looked a bit younger than Jewell. There was some physical resemblance between them, especially with their dark hair, and the wide smiles on their faces told Zowie how happy they were at the moment the picture had been taken. However, it wasn't their happiness or the card itself what shocked Zowie the most. Something else did the trick, and that was finding her own dad, a joyous smile on his face, posing with his arms around those kids' shoulders.

"What the...?"

Zowie couldn't finish her sentence, for it all made sudden, perfect sense, hitting her with the power of a lighting striking her right on the head. The card was signed by Tim and Cathy - obviously the boy and girl on the picture-, and was addressed to a man they called _dad_. It wasn't hard to put two and two together when Zowie read the message once again before going back to the picture.

Information whirled in her head, making her dizzy with their rapid spin. Dad... love... Cathy and Tim... William posing with them... it could only mean one thing.

"Oh, God..."

When Jared stared up at Zowie, he was sure their expressions were identical masks of disbelief.

"You think dad..." he choked, a lump blocking his throat. He fought against it, though, desperate to have Zowie telling him that he was hallucinating, reading too much into it and that, above all, none of that could be really happening. "You think _our_ dad is... _their_ dad?"

Zowie shivered when Jared put words to the darkest thoughts in her mind. It couldn't be! Something _had_ to be wrong!

But the card didn't lie, and Jared's assumption seemed to be the closest to the truth.

"I don't know," she mumbled in honest puzzlement. "I... this can't be true!"

"True or not it does mean something,” Jared pointed out. “And we won't know for sure until we ask dad about it. We need to go home now."

Jared's words snapped Zowie out of her commotion. Throwing the card on his lap, she hurriedly started the car, making the tires screech against the pavement as she once again took the street.

It wasn't easy to keep the car running at a legal speed, but even in her state of increasing anger, Zowie knew the only way to get the answers they needed was to make it home safely. That didn't mean her fury didn't grow with every mile they left behind, though.

Nonetheless, Zowie still managed to get them home in one piece. She didn't bother getting the car in the garage, though, and when Jared jumped out just a second after her, it was obvious that the usual chores were the last thing on his mind. With a red haze clouding her eyes, Zowie snapped the card from Jared's hands and roughly opened the door, running upstairs with her heart humping in her chest.

The image that welcomed them when storming into the kitchen couldn't have infuriated Zowie more. William and Noemie had obviously been talking, and now they stared at their eldest children with surprised looks. It was the same image that welcomed Zowie every time she got back home, but the homey picture it made, the one she had always taken refuge in, now cracked before her eyes, making her see what a big lie it was.

"What's wrong, Zowie?"

Noemie might as well have never spoken at all, for Zowie ignored her completely. Marching towards William instead, to where he sat at the head of the family table, her blue eyes blazed with fury when she put the card down right in front of him, noisily punching the table in the process.

"What the hell does this mean?"

Noemie couldn't repress her gasp of shock at the way her daughter addressed William.

"Zowie!"

Still ignoring her mum, Zowie fixed her eyes on William, taunting him, urging him to answer her question.

"Well, dad? What is this all about?" Zowie shot back, roughly pushing the card closer to him. "Care to explain what this card means, and why you hid it in your car?"

There was little else William could do but stare, and rather stupidly at that, at Zowie. While the girl before him certainly looked like his daughter, the venom dripping from her every word and the blazing fury raging in her blue eyes got him doing a double take. That furious young woman couldn't possibly be Zowie.

But she was, and she impatiently waited for an answer, palms flat on the table as her body assumed a position that got William thinking Zowie readied herself to attack him. Zowie throwing tantrums, being generally temperamental, that was hardly any news for the family. But when Jared moved closer and William noticed the rage in his son's eyes, he finally understood that something was wrong.

Where his sister was loud and outspoken, Jared was quite, rarely losing his temper. That morning, however, something made Jared shoot daggers at him with his eyes; daggers that joined the ones Zowie's icy blue stare directed at him, and a feeling of dread trickled down William's spine. It was serious. Whatever had enraged them that way, it had to be serious, but William didn't realised how meaningful it was until his eyes rested on the card Zowie had slammed on the table before him.

His face paled, and a cold shiver tap danced eerily down his spine as his heart stopped beating. In her rage, Zowie had posed the card face down, but William didn't need to see more to know what was going on.

 _"Why you hid it in your car?"_ Zowie's words echoed in his brain. No, he didn't need to ask in order to understand what his children were talking about. Yet, William still picked it up, hoping against hope that whatever Zowie and Jared had discovered wasn't what he imagined, and that the drama unfolding before his eyes wasn't be as serious as it could be, but his hopes were useless.

He should have never kept the card. He never did, why that one had to be different? If only William hadn't tossed it into the glove compartment of his car, just to forget all about it a second later...

"Say something!"

Zowie's scream caught William by surprise. Fury and pain shone in her face, almost shadowing the hint of fear that briefly crossed her features. He couldn't know, but Zowie's heart begged for her suspicions to be wrong. For them to be true it would mean that her whole world would be shaken to its very foundations, and she wasn't sure she could handle that. Another disappointment, another heartbreak, although in a whole different league from the one she had got from Orlando, would break her. That much she knew. If the two most important men in her life, the ones she loved with all her being broke her heart, Zowie didn't think herself strong enough to endure it. That's why she clung to that last, frail thread of hope that remained.

But William proved her wrong.

When his eyes, full of regret and affliction met hers, Zowie let out a cry of sheer pain, one that shook her to her very core. Her eyes welled up with tears and she wanted to ask, demand, compel her dad to tell her why, why he had done that and how, but her mum interrupted her when she took the card from her husband's unsuspecting hands.

When Noemie's face paled and her eyes widened, Zowie knew her shock was just as enormous as her own. If it was bad for her, then how horrible it could be for Noemie to realise that her own husband led a secret life? The thought was too much to comprehend, no matter how hard Zowie tried to work her head around it. It was a good thing Jewell wasn't around, she mused, her eyes studying the scene before her. She was too young to witness any of that. Not that being eighteen made Zowie any more prepared or mature to handle the truth either.

Noemie's face, while still ghostly pale, soon shifted from shock to anger, one entirely directed at William.

"You lied!” She exclaimed. “You told me this was over years ago!" Her grey eyes, full of fury and disbelief, pinned William to his position.

Zowie's surprise grew at the implications in Noemie's words. It was painfully clear that her dad had lied. But her mum's other statement, the one about him telling her that _that_ had ended years ago...

"Wait a second... you knew about this, mum?"

Jared's words beat Zowie at sharing her own disbelief. While his eyes were wide and scared like her own, they also shone with a hint of anger at the words Noemie had just said. It was almost as if Jared readied himself to shift the blame from William to Noemie or, at the very least, decide that both parents were equally guilty for what was going on.

"Your mum knew very little about this. This would come out sooner or later, so don't blame her," having detected Jared's intentions, William's voice sounded stern and very father-like which, even under the light of the events, managed to stop whatever intentions Jared had of blaming his mum for William's downfall.

It didn't affect Zowie the same way, though. She had no intentions of blaming Noemie, but her father didn't enjoy the same benefits.

"Don't worry," she said, her eyes once again boring into her dad's. "We know _exactly_ who's to blame here. Now, would you be as kind as to tell us the truth for once in your life?"

Zowie was painfully aware of how obnoxious she sounded, but her anger, and above all her fear, didn't allow her to try and be reasonable with the man sitting before her. William's face was troubled, but it also showed a hint of something that resembled relief, something that upset her enormously. Her dad _wasn't_ allowed to feel relief! He was turning their lives upside down with that sick secret, and he had the nerve of appearing as if he was relieved it was his children who had brought it up and not him? The sole thought infuriated her.

"Or do you simply plan to keep on lying to us until we find another picture of other kids referring to you as _dad_?"

William sighed defeated. Standing up, he ran a hand over his face, as if that simple gesture could brush off him the reality of the pain he was bringing to his family.

"I have absolutely no excuses-"

"No, you don't!" Zowie angrily interrupted him, her body echoing the aggressiveness in her voice when she assumed what she hoped was an intimidating stance.

William gave her an admonishing look, but it failed to impress her. In that moment, the man standing before her could try all the parental tools he imagined on her, and none would work. The love, the affection, even the respect Zowie held for her father teetered on the edge, ready to crash down to pieces the moment he said the words she dreaded to hear. That fear gnawed at her heart, but Zowie compelled herself to ignore it; she couldn't cave in, she couldn't allow that wall of fury that kept her heart safe crumble down to pieces. There was no way she could allow herself to break down, not when she needed so badly to remain angry to keep the pain at bay.

"I have no excuses," William began again, stopping by the French doors that led to the patio. Sighing, he turned to them, eyes shining with regret as he focused on his son. "You were just a baby, Jared. And you, Zowie... you couldn't have been much older than two. Your mum and I were going through a rough patch. We thought that separating for a while would help us set our priorities straight, make everything right once more. It was during that time that I met Fiona. I knew it was wrong, since I was still married to your mum, but Fiona and I got involved, and well... we went on with it, even after your mum and I got back together."

When Noemie took a step forward, her eyes fixed on her husband, Zowie realised William's revelation was as much of a surprise to her as it was to her children. Then, she remembered the words Noemie had said just minutes ago.

_"You lied! You told me this was over years ago!"_

Zowie couldn't even begin to imagine how painful that situation had to be for Noemie. She tried, but when she noticed how her mum moved towards William with a murderous look on her face, it only took Zowie a second to understand that her mum wasn't thinking straight. Zowie wanted nothing more than to stay as further away from her dad as possible, but she had to act. Moving quickly, her hands encircled her mum's arms tightly, holding her securely and stopping her from doing anything stupid. Even if she had had enough presence of mind to avoid a disaster, Zowie was still as shocked as never before. Noemie was always the one in control of herself, serious, thoughtful... seeing her like that, with rage burning in her eyes, threw Zowie off-balance like nothing ever before.

She cast a glance towards Jared, discovering in his eyes a silent demand, one that urged William to either admit or deny the accusations Zowie had just thrown on his lap. William, however, seemed to have no hurry at all, and that fact that enraged Zowie to a burning point.

"I don't give a damn who that woman is! I don't even want to know her name, I'm not going to be friends with her," her words had a stern edge that made her proud, since it drowned the fears she dreaded showed in her voice. Still holding Noemie, Zowie nodded at the card forgotten on the table. "Are those kids yours? That's all I want to know."

From his spot by the French doors, William stared at the scene before him with sad, regretful eyes. He should have known that would happen sooner or later, but it was only in that moment that he realised the sheer idiocy of what he had done through all those years.

William had felt trapped and tied down too soon to a family life that, while having incredible moments such as the birth of his children, also had perks he wasn't exactly comfortable with. William was a free spirit, had several and varied interests, and a voice in the back of his mind had busied itself reminding him of all the things he was missing on for being a family man. On the contrary, Noemie had always been much more serious and responsible, taking on the house duties with a devotion he couldn't find within himself.

With a sigh, William shifted back to the present, his eyes falling instantly on Zowie. She was making herself responsible for a situation that surely brought her nothing but pain, and while he admired her strength, William couldn't ignore how his own doings would drastically change her life.

Zowie would probably never know how much it had pained him to leave her so long ago, how he still had to forgive himself for that. Zowie was, and had always been, the apple of William's eye, and leaving her had nearly broken his heart, forcing him to make up for an absence Zowie knew nothing about. While he adored his three children in equal ways, there was no denying how special Zowie was for him. And that was the exact reason why William's heart broke when thinking of the grief he was about to bring upon her.

"Yes, Zowie. Those kids are my children too."

The power, and more importantly the truth in William's words, hit Zowie with the strength of a deadly blow aimed straight at her stomach. Its intensity knocked all air out of her lungs and, before she could even think of stopping it, she could feel that familiar, yet much dreaded feeling of her throat closing in, blocking all flow of air into her body. Zowie wished she could pledge ignorance, that the feeling was a novelty and that she didn't know what it entailed, but she did. It meant more heartache and grief than she could possibly handle.

When her tearful eyes met William's, pain and anger mixed inside Zowie in an almost combustible way. So many different emotions struggled inside her: heartache, disappointment, betrayal, fury, and even love - that love she felt for her father and that he had so boldly crashed to pieces with his revelation.

Her head spun. There had to be something else, some way to find out that those kids weren't actually William's, that he was nothing but a tutor or a glorified protector, but the crack was nowhere to be seen, and realisation slashed Zowie's wounded heart.

There was no hidden meaning behind William's statement. That boy and girl were William's children as much as Zowie herself, and if the sole idea of finding out about their existence didn't upset her enough, finding out that her father had lied to them all along stepped all over what little pieces of her heart remained intact. That man, the one man Zowie had grown up thinking she could trust in with her life, the one she would do anything to defend, had lived a secret life all along. William had lied to them, and that was something Zowie simply couldn't handle.

"Zowie..."

William's voice reached her ears, insecure and full of doubts. He tried to reach out to her; if not physically, at least verbally, and his eyes were clouded with utter regret, one that made sparks fly inside her. Did William honestly think his pain would do the trick? That one sad look would make her grief magically disappear? He had absolutely no idea. It only made it stronger.

The storm that had been brewing inside Zowie finally unleashed, releasing all her pain and fury.

"I hate you! I hate you so much! How could you do this to us?"

All those emotions Zowie had felt cruising her body found a way out in her voice, filling it with the agony she felt inside. Her whole being shook, and all she wanted to do was to make her dad feel if only an ounce of the pain that filled her. Without thinking, she let go of the tight grip on her mum's arms and lunged herself at William, only to be stopped by Noemie when she had only taken a few steps.

"Let me go!" she screamed, trying to free herself. It wasn't until Noemie had grabbed her by the arms and had given her a sharp shake that Zowie stopped struggling.

"Zowie, stop it!" Noemie ordered, and while her daughter struggled some more, the tone in her voice couldn't be ignored. It took Zowie some long seconds to calm down, and only when Noemie was sure her daughter wouldn't try anything else did she turned to her husband, her voice stern and cold. "This is all your doing, William. I can deal with it, but your children... you've hurt them beyond belief.” Taking a deep breath, Noemie's unwavering grey eyes locked with William's when she spoke. “This has to stop. I want you out of this house, William. Now.”

Zowie gasped in shock, terror filling her heart. Out of the house? Her mum wanted William to leave? In spite of her anger, Zowie felt fear gnawing at her heart. She was furious at her dad, wanted to hurt him, but that... it was too much, too soon for her to understand. Tears streamed down her face as she gave Noemie a devastated look, ready to beg her to change her mind when a soft voice interrupted her.

"Why, dad? Why?"

Zowie's head bolted in Jared's direction, her own pain increasing, even if it seemed impossible, when she noticed the dejected expression in her brother's face. Anguish was written all over him, making him look much younger than seventeen. Jared looked so vulnerable, so confused, in so much pain, that more tears knotted Zowie's throat.

How could William do that to them? Hadn't he ever stopped to think the pain he would cause his children and wife if the truth ever came out? Or did he think that the latter would never come to happen? Jared's pain touched her heart. He was probably far more sensitive than Zowie herself but he rarely let it show, not even to his family. For Jared to let them into his grief that way, it meant it was so powerful and overwhelming he simply couldn't hold it back. Turning as best as she could under her mum's grip, noticing how the tables had turned, Zowie eyed her father over her shoulder.

When three pairs of eyes settled on William, all demanding for an answer that would help them understand what was going on, William realised he didn't have one. Even when he sought for it deep down inside, he couldn't find it, which only made his regret worst. His son, obviously grief stricken, had almost begged him for some clarification and his daughter, the one he adored, had been ready to become physically aggressive with him. He didn't need Noemie's prompt to try and see what he had done to his family; it was plain and open for the world to see. Regret weighing down his shoulders, William's eyes dropped, unable to meet the inquiring gazes before him.

"I don't know why I did it," he murmured before looking up. "I have no excuses."

Noemie gave him a stern look.

"No, you don't," sighing, her voice sounded full of determination when she spoke. "Leave now, William. Please. You've done enough already as it is. You can come back for your things later, just... go away. Stop hurting us."

William shuddered at the finality in Noemie's voice, the reality of what he had done finally hitting him fully. He had single-handedly destroyed his family, and now he had to face the consequences and hope his children would still want to look at him in the eye after that.

With heavy feet, he approached his daughter.

"Zowie..."

She turned her back on him, not sure she could hold herself back enough not to break down in front of him. And to think she had been ready to beg for him when Noemie had asked him to leave the house! What a big idiot she was! Once again sheltering herself in her fury, Zowie ignored William, not seeing his dejection at her actions. She barely noticed him speaking to Jared, but she didn't hear an answer coming from her brother either; obviously, his feelings weren't much different from her own.

With tears stinging in his eyes, William turned to Noemie, the only member of the family whose eyes didn't shy away from him. However, she said nothing, having said it all the moment she asked him to leave. With grief and regret weighing down his heart, William felt his feet heavy as he headed towards the stairs. Yet, before setting foot on the first step, he turned around once more.

"Zowie, Jared... I love you guys with all my heart," he murmured fervently. "I know this changes everything, but you are my children and nothing will ever change that, alright?"

Neither Zowie or Jared answered. William sighed and, unable to face the consequences of his actions any longer, he slowly descended to stairs, opening the front door and closing it behind him softly, missing the pained cry that escaped Zowie's lips.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38.**

_“If you don't love me - lie to me_   
_'Cause baby you're the one thing I believe_   
_Let it all fall down around us, if that's what's meant to be_   
_Right now if you don't love me baby - lie to me”_

**_Bon Jovi – Lie To Me_ **

 

Zowie refused to dwell on the similarities, focusing hard on keeping her mind blank as she collapsed on a seat at the very back of the bus. Yet, hard as she tried, there _was_ a link, a contact point between both events that screamed at her from the back of her mind. It was more than deja vu; it was history repeating itself.

There had been another time when Zowie had ran away, exposing herself to all sorts of dangers just to escape from the heartache Orlando had caused her. And while there were obvious differences, the essence of her escape was still the same: another man who meant the world to her had broken her heart.

A shudder made her body tremble, and Zowie tightened the jacket around her. It was useless, though, for the chill didn't come from the outside; it rose from deep within her, born from the grief and the terror that mixed inside her. William had lied to them, and while Zowie struggled to come to terms with it, she had the feeling she would never accomplish that for as long as she lived. Yet, there was a question in her mind, one no inner struggle could silence.

What would happen next?

When Zowie tried to envision her future, her mind rebelled against it, unable to stand the agony that surged within her. She didn't need to ponder much to understand that one thing was painfully clear: regardless of what laid ahead for her, William wouldn't be a part of it.

Panic rose inside her. Her parents had had arguments before, what married couple didn't? And while said arguments didn't surprise her anymore, that didn't mean she was used to them in any way. They affected her more than she dared to admit or analyse but, as time passed, Zowie had learnt an efficient way to avoid them: she escaped from them. She went out for a jog or dropped by Brooke's unexpectedly; either way, Zowie went out of her way to avoid those discussions, and although Noemie had tried time and again to reason with her, Zowie had systematically refused to. That was the way she handled things. If Zowie accepted Noemie's without trying to change it, then why couldn't her mum? 

Yet, no matter how loud or often her parents' arguments were, Zowie couldn't remember a single one as serious as the one she had just witnessed. Big, strong sobs rocked her body, sobs she barely managed to keep from the other passengers. Zowie incessantly tried to work her head around the immensity of what had happened, but no matter how hard she tried, she reached a dead end every single time. How had William managed to keep that secret for sixteen years? He had never missed a birthday, a first day of school, a family vacation, or a night up nursing a sick kid. When had he found the time to have those same experiences with two other kids?

Zowie sighed, drying her tears with the back of her hand. Would she ever understand William's reasons? Probably not, she said to herself, before realising with increasing anger that she actually _didn't_ want to. Zowie didn't want to go out of her way to try and understand someone who had so shamelessly humiliated her entire family. If he and Noemie had taken separate ways when Zowie was so young she couldn't even remember, and William had met someone he obviously wanted to be with, then why on earth had he come back to his wife in the first place?

Zowie couldn't imagine her father succumbing to outside pressure if there was something he really wanted to do with his life. Had he surrendered to his mother's desires, Nan Susannah would have had him devoted to the family's business instead of swinging a sword for most of his life. Up to that day Zowie was sure her that, although her Nan had learnt to live with it, she still hated her younger son's life decision with all her heart. Knowing how driven Susannah was, and how determined to make what she considered right when it came to the family business, Zowie admired her dad for not caving in to her. So, if William hadn't given in back when he was much younger, what made her think he would do so once he was a married man?

Countless possibilities crossed her mind, but Zowie quickly dismissed them all, furious beyond any consideration. Had she been able to think straight, William being pressured into patching up his relationship with Noemie wouldn't have been much of a surprise. Even if his heart was somewhere else, there might have been powerful reasons to bring him back, but the thought that she and Jared could be part of them never crossed Zowie's mind.

A quick image of her dad hugging two strange kids flashed before her eyes and fresh tears streamed down her face. No matter how hard Zowie tried to erase it or block it from her memory for good, that picture kept dancing in front of her eyes, mocking her with its clarity. She had been raised to believe that she and her younger siblings were, if not everything in their parents' lives, at least a very important part of it. But as that idea shattered to pieces around her, it left Zowie feeling as vulnerable as never before.

How did those two other kids fit into the picture? What were them to her? Zowie repressed the word _siblings_ before it even had the chance to form in her mind. As far as she was concerned, she only had two of those: Jared and Jewell. They had shared tears, laughter, mischief, fights, something she could never -and would never- have with those two unknown kids.

Who were them, anyway? She didn't know how old they were or where they lived; she only knew their faces and for her, that was more than enough. Regardless of what human biology might say, her heart refused to acknowledge them as part of her family. It didn't matter that them, just as much as she and her own siblings were innocent pawns in a grown ups' game; in her mind, they were just as guilty as William was.

There were so many questions, so much agony and fury whirled inside her, that Zowie could do little else but give in to them, unbridled tears sipping through the fingers that hid her face. What would happen next? What would she do? She desperately needed the help of someone who could put everything into perspective, someone capable of telling her what to do next for she obviously couldn't do it on her own. There weren't many people she trusted in enough for that, so her choice came as no surprise to her.

Orlando would make everything right. Her heart told her he would.

Keeping that thought in the centre of her mind and clinging to it with all her might, Zowie held on to what little sanity was left in her after so much heartbreak. She couldn't try and imagine what would come next; something inside her told her that trying to comprehend what tomorrow would bring could only be disastrous. She needed to take one step at a time, and that she could do, as long as she managed to keep the most painful thoughts at bay. Letting her mind wander off further away than her most immediate task, which was getting off the bus and reaching Orlando's house, would mean hitting a low Zowie wasn't sure she could handle; not after all the disaster she had gone through.

Consequently, Zowie resorted to the most basic things to keep her mind off of the pain. It never disappeared, lurking in the shadows instead, but as long as it stayed there, Zowie could deal with it. As soon as she found herself wrapped in Orlando's safe arms, she would let it all hit her once again but now, she knew she needed to be strong. Levelling the crazy beating of her heart with deep, rhythmical breaths, Zowie concentrated on moving one foot in front of the other, walking down that path that she could very well do with her eyes closed.

Keeping her painful thoughts at bay proved to be harder than Zowie had expected, but the minute Orlando's two-storey house came into sight, she sighed with relief. Whatever discomfort she had felt until then didn't matter anymore, and she closed the short distance with rushed steps, unable to wait what little seconds separated her from the mitigation of her grief. She loved Orlando, she trusted him with all her heart, and she had no doubts he would take all her pain away. It didn't matter that, not long ago, Orlando himself had caused Zowie a heartbreak as big as the one William had just inflicted on her; that day, none of that mattered. If there was one person out there Zowie knew would make everything right, that person was Orlando.

When Zowie reached Orlando's door, she paid no attention to manners or what other common decency she had been taught over the years. Feeling herself teetering on the edge, she knocked the door with all her might, banging her fist against the wood.

But as seconds passed and no one answered the door, a little cry escaped Zowie's lips, desperation trickling down her spine and making her shiver with its icy touch.

"Orlando... where are you?"

Tears knotted her throat, making her voice thick with a hint of fear. She _needed_ him, where on earth was he? Again, Zowie banged at the door, oblivious to the shocked glances she received from an elderly couple that passed by. Had she seen them, she would have recognised them as Orlando's neighbours, yet, she failed to do so, and they rushed past as quickly as they could when they saw the hint of hysteria in her actions.

With her blood pumping in her ears in a deafening way, Zowie tried to peek through the windows but muttered a curse under her breath when she found the curtains tightly drawn close, blocking her view. Perhaps Orlando was asleep or in the shower and hadn't heard her knocking. With that thought in mind, she pounded the door even harder, her fist aching with the strength of her blows.

Zowie couldn't precise the exact moment her persistent knocking began to lose power or when her knees buckled under her weight; yet, she could tell with appalling accuracy when tears began to stream down her face. Orlando wasn't there. She needed him like never before since meeting him, but he was nowhere to be seen. Zowie needed his comforting touch, his soothing words, but as far as she could see, she would get none of it. It was then that tears welled up in her eyes. It was then that the dam that had held all her grief at bay gave in under the unyielding pressure and Zowie discovered herself unable to hold it back. Defeated, she sagged on her spot, her shoulder against the door and her face low, long hair covering her features as pearly tears moistened her face.

Zowie's mind visited dark places during that time, for fear, anxiety, and anger weren't good advisers. What had she done wrong? When had she been so bad in her life to deserve that? First, the man she loved had taken away her virginity, forgetting all about it the moment he fell asleep. And now her dad, the one man Zowie looked up to, had spat on an entire life of shared experiences the moment he admitted, not just having had an extra-marital affair for sixteen years, but also having fathered two kids they had known nothing about. Those two men had carelessly stepped over her devotion for them, leaving her lost and heartbroken. Why had they done that? Was Zowie so bad, such an ugly person, that the ones she loved had to hurt her that way?

There was no possible way of knowing how long she spent there, body stiff and cold. Zowie had long since closed her eyes, oblivious to her surroundings when the sound of voices filtered in her mind. The whirlwind inside her was so strong that Zowie didn't notice the voices were talking to her until strong hands grabbed her by the shoulders and roughly jerked her up, making her wince in pain when her cramped muscles complained at the sudden movement.

"Zowie? Can you hear me? Zowie!"

The alarm in those words filtered through the dark clouds that surrounded her, bursting through them like a powerful ray of light that forced Zowie back to reality. Darkness still clung to her, refusing to let her go, but as those strong hands gently shook her, Zowie slowly emerged from the numbness within her, her eyes blinking slowly as she reconnected with the reality around her.

"Come on, Zowie... talk to me!" the voice urged. "What's wrong? What are you doing here, are you alright?"

Zowie stared at the faces before her with puzzled eyes, shadows still lingering in her mind and blocking the way of all conscious thought. Those faces hovered in front of her with concerned eyes, but for a few seconds, Zowie couldn't recognise them. Yet, as she became more and more aware of her surroundings, Zowie fixed her eyes on the brown ones that stared back at her with a concern that now bordered with desperation at her lack of response.

"Orlando?"

A hint of relief shone in his eyes at the sound of her voice. Pulling her close to him, he squatted before her.

"Are you alright, Zowie? What are you doing here... how long have you been here?"

A quick examination gave Orlando all the answers he needed. Zowie was _not_ alright. Her face was red and bloated, her blue eyes were swollen and dull with grief, and the jacket seemed to do nothing to shelter her, considering the chill in her skin. A brief glance over his shoulder told him that Elijah, who was in a similar position behind him, was thinking the exact same thing, although his eyes showed the hint of fear Orlando worked hard to conceal from his own gaze.

It took Zowie some time to react, but when she finally did, it was nothing like they had braced themselves for. Snapping out of whatever state they had found her in, her eyes suddenly became alive with a flame of anger as she pushed Orlando back with enough strength to knock him off balance. The only thing to keep him still on his feet was Elijah's quick reaction; he caught him in the last second, steadying his friend as Zowie laboriously stood up, her heavy breath a clear sign of her emotions.

"Where the hell have you been??"

Standing up as quickly as she wanted to or creating the effect she desired with her rage was anything but easy, and cramped muscles and numbed brain did nothing in her favour. Yet, her anger didn't allow her to think straight. She had needed Orlando. There weren't many people Zowie could trust with something like that, and her heart had been set on the one person she was absolutely certain could make everything right just with his mere presence. How come Orlando wasn't there for her just when she needed him the most?

"I needed you!" Full of venom and accusation, Zowie's voice had a sharp edge to it as she met Orlando's eyes. Her reaction had caught him by surprise, and it pleased her enormously; wide with surprise and worry, his eyes stared back at her, and Zowie had the feeling her own gaze could have pinned him down to his spot until she had said all the things she wanted to unload on him. "I came here because I needed you! I needed to talk to you, but guess what? You weren't home! Where were you?"

His shock might have been enormous, but Orlando was quick to suppress it the moment he noticed that, while anger and venom coated Zowie's every word, there was a vulnerability in her eyes he had only caught glimpses of before. Zowie always seemed strong, capable, even willing to handle what was thrown her way, but it didn't take Orlando much to understand that deep down inside, the true Zowie was just a vulnerable teenager that needed guidance and support to deal with those things that overwhelmed her. One of those things was whatever bothered her now, and he could see it in her wide blue eyes, in the hint of darkness that clouded their usual brightness with promises of pain.

Still, a side of him, an instinctive one, was ready to jump into action and give as much as he was taking. Nonetheless, it didn't take much to understand the obvious: something really, really wrong had happened to Zowie, something she had wanted to share with him while Orlando was out with Elijah. The state they had found her in as soon as the front door came into view was enough proof of that. That image would take long to leave his mind, and a little shiver of apprehension touched his body at the memory of the many dark possibilities that had crossed his mind at the sight of Zowie sprawled at his door. Swallowing his temperament, Orlando took a deep breath to steady himself before talking.

"I'm sorry, Zowie. I'm really sorry I wasn't home earlier, but I'm here now. We can talk. What's going on?"

Something in his calm voice, in the way he tried to soothe her, only served to spark the blazing fire of her fury to its fullest.

"What's going on?" disbelief and sarcasm dripped from her voice. "I'll tell you what's going on. You have absolutely no idea what I've just gone through... no idea! You're clueless just like every other damn time!"

Elijah tensed at her words and his eyes sought hers. He failed, of course, for Zowie's attention was solely and completely focused on Orlando standing before her, staring back at her as if he was sure she had lost her mind. Zowie was walking on thin ice and Elijah feared her anger would make Zowie say more than she surely intended.

"Zowie..." his voice was pleading, but it didn't seem to affect Zowie one bit. The murderous look she shot in his direction was so intense that Elijah instinctively took a step back.

"I can't believe I was so stupid to think I could trust you," with an angry huff, Zowie pushed her way through Orlando and Elijah. "I'm out of here. Any place is better than this."

However, Zowie hadn't counted on one thing: Orlando reacting much too soon for her escape plans. Not a step away from them, Zowie's departure was gently, yet firmly stopped when a hand closed itself around her upper arm, forcing her to face Orlando no matter how much she wanted to ignore he even existed.

"Tell me what's wrong. Now."

Seeing as his earlier words had been tinted with a softness and a pretended calmness that had angered Zowie beyond belief, Orlando tried a new approach. His voice was gentle, but also carried a subtle demand that she couldn't ignore, one that tore through her anger with a terrifying easiness, reaching her very core until all the pain and heartache that had been buried there surfaced.

The overwhelming intensity of her emotions as they cracked her fury scared Zowie, but discovering she had no way of stopping them was even more terrifying. She had no energy left; it had fled her the moment the anger abandoned her and all she could do was cling to Orlando, holding onto him as if her life depended on it. The sole thought terrified her. As far as she knew, it could very well be that way. All that she had known, all that she had considered safe, secure and stable in her existence had been cruelly shook up and tipped sideways, leaving Zowie knowing that it wouldn't take much for it to shatter to pieces, leaving her in a void she wouldn't be able to handle.

When sobs threatened to tear her apart, both actors shared a worried glance over her head. While neither of them could see her face, Orlando could, however, feel the way her body jerked with the intensity of her emotions, as well as the tight grip of her fisted hands on his sweater. Her agitated breath picked his interest,  but the minute he noticed Zowie was actually gasping for breath, Orlando couldn't help but grow alarmed.

"Zowie? Zowie, what's wrong?" his urged voice got not response at first. She never met his eyes, and Orlando had to grab her by the upper arms, shaking her a little in the process, before Zowie finally conceded. Yet, when she did, the sheer panic in her blue eyes fixed Orlando to his spot. Fear oozed from every bit of his body at the look in her face. The pallor, the widening of her eyes, the unmistakable glow of fear in them... terror gnawed at his insides for long seconds until Orlando finally reacted. Reaching inside his pockets, he took his keys out and swiftly opened the door before sliding an arm around Zowie's waist and glancing at Elijah over his shoulder. "We have to get her a doctor. She's... I don't know what it is, but she can't breath."

For a second, Elijah felt panic overtaking him. What to do, who to call? And more importantly, what could be so bad that Zowie was in such an obvious mess? The images of her curled up, hiding behind a tree after Orlando had broken her heart surfaced, and Elijah wondered if something similar had happened. He had no way of knowing, but whatever was going on, it was something he and Orlando had no idea how to deal with.

Snapping back to reality, Elijah took his cell phone from his pocket and was about to dial the emergency number when a shaky hand tried to grab his wrist, failing miserably in the process. Surprised and even a little scared, Elijah looked down, his blue eyes finding thin, long fingers with carefully manicured nails sneaking around his wrist. Whether they wanted to stop him or attract his attention he didn't know so Elijah glanced up, the words he had been about to pronounce knotting in his throat when he met Zowie's eyes.

She was pale. Horribly so, in fact. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted as she desperately gasped for what little air seemed to be entering her body. However, as she stared at him, Elijah noticed Zowie's eyes weren't afraid. They were pleading instead, her hand weakly tugging at his as if trying to deliver a message he couldn't quite understand. A sound left her lips, although it failed to make sense to Elijah; if anything, the croaky, almost guttural sound Zowie's voice made when trying to speak scared him. Meeting her gaze once more, Elijah noted Zowie was shaking her head in a way he couldn't help but acknowledge. That, along with the weak tugging of his wrist, suddenly made perfect sense to him. Zowie didn't want any help, and considering what he could see in her eyes, she was begging him not to press the _call_ button of his cell.

"Zowie?" Even if Elijah actually wished to ask her why she so adamantly refused the help they offered her, his friend's name was the only word he could utter in his shock.

Zowie shook her head. Her breath came in short, heavy pants, and nothing but grunts came out as she tried to speak until she could finally murmur an understandable word.

"No..." although her voice sounded foreign even to her own ears, Zowie couldn't ignore the obvious: she only had one chance to stop them. She didn't need Elijah to call her parents, not when Noemie didn't need any more problems, and especially not when her dad was the last person Zowie wanted or needed to see. All she needed was the support of those two men surrounding her. Orlando was the man she loved, the one she knew would make everything right, and Elijah... Elijah was the friend she had never expected having, and she knew she could trust them. Taking as deep a breath as her still thundering heart allowed her to, Zowie once again locked her gaze with Elijah's, trying to convey all her persuasion. "I'll be... fine..."

Elijah looked dubious, but the stern, concerned hint in Orlando's voice made Zowie see he wouldn't easily agree with her intentions.

"Zowie, you're not _fine_! Something is obviously wrong with you. You can't breathe, you need a doctor!"

Shaking her head, Zowie turned her attention to Orlando, fully aware that she needed to muster all her ability to hide the true intensity behind her body's reaction. She didn't need a doctor, didn't need anyone calling her parents, she just needed for them to trust her until she could explain what was going on.

"Inside... need to talk... you..."

Orlando was much harder to convince than Elijah, and something in his eyes told Zowie he would most likely try to distract her long enough to call her parents, a doctor, or anyone with authority enough to make her admit she had a problem. She couldn't let him leave her side, she mused, and giving him her most humble look, Zowie managed to tame her rapid breath enough to mumble some words.

"Trust me. I can... handle this."

Orlando's refusal was written all over his face, and he obviously didn't believe a single word she had just said. But how could he when her chest, tightly pressed against his side, still heaved in a most obvious way? Knowing that was her last chance to win that tug of war of wills she and Orlando were in, Zowie looked up at him with a pleading look.

"I need to talk to you."

There were long moments in which Zowie feared all her persuasion and pleading wouldn't be enough, that no matter what she tried, Orlando would never cave in and let her in without alerting someone. But then, just as she felt she was about to break down and cry and downright beg him to let her in, Orlando nodded in a way that told her he would much rather call someone to check on her, than agree on whatever she was planning. Still, that was enough to lighten Zowie's heart. Not that what she had to tell them was any easier, but with them by her side, she had the feeling she could handle it.

Her smile shone with gratitude and as Orlando led her inside, Zowie made sure Elijah saw it too. While he hadn't participated in Orlando's decision, Zowie would never forget that Elijah was someone she could rely on whenever she needed to.

Orlando was so careful when guiding her into his living room, that Zowie thanked God he didn't go as far as carrying her in his arms. Any other time, she would have jumped in his arms herself, basking in the moment and making sure to feel as much of him as it was possible, but that day... that day she needed a completely different kind of human contact. That time, Zowie needed to know that whoever the person beside her was, they wouldn't break her heart like William had.

Still, Zowie could have smiled. Orlando never let go of her until she was sitting on the sofa, and even then he kept a comforting arm on her shoulders as Elijah took possession of the coffee table, positioning himself right before her. Nonetheless, her panting breath barely allowed her to talk, let alone smile.

Orlando and Elijah waited patiently as Zowie's agitation faded, and their expressions were filled with a genuine concern that reinforced her initial idea. Long ago, Zowie had closed a door behind her in order to run away to the one place that seemed safe and stable, and while Orlando's house had been the definition of Hell for her that night, it now appeared to be the only place where she could run away from all her grief.

"Feeling better?"

Zowie looked up at Elijah. He sat right across from her on the coffee table and his intense blue eyes, although worried, held a knowing spark Zowie couldn't ignore. He had seen it before. Elijah had seen Zowie at her worst, and he knew something truly important was going.

After a thoughtful silence, Zowie nodded in response. She tried to sketch a smile, but nothing but a shaky grimace came out. Yet, when Elijah patted her knee, she knew he didn't mind. Elijah knew. Elijah understood. Now, would Orlando be just as accommodating?

Taking a deep breath, Zowie tilted her head sideways. She had been able to tell Orlando was close just by the feeling of his body pressed against her, but that didn't lessen the shock of finding his face just inches away from hers. Somewhere in the back of her mind, images of that Saturday night so long surged to life, and with Orlando's mouth only a whisper away from hers, Zowie wished he would kiss her. It wouldn't make the pain disappear, but it would at least mean his feelings for her were just as intense as her own.

Nonetheless, a sad sigh escaped her lips. While Orlando had yet to understand what he felt for her, Zowie never lost hope that it would actually come to happen. It was the last glimmer of hope in her life, the one she held on to with all her might. If all else failed but Orlando loved her, she would be able to go on. If he didn't... Zowie pushed that thought aside before it could plant its seed of suspicion and pain in her mind. That couldn't happen. Not to her, anyway. There was so much pain a heart could take, and hers had surely reached the quota of a lifetime.

When Orlando sensed a little shiver coursing her, the arm he kept around her shoulders tightened some, pulling Zowie close to him in a way that warmed her heart. She had been right all along, she mused. Orlando _would_ make everything right.

Not that he knew exactly how, considering the lost and confused gleam in his eyes. Orlando wanted her to share her pain, but wasn't sure she wouldn't break down again. Yet, despite all that, Zowie could see he was determined to help her, noticing it in the determined set of his jaw and in the gleam in his eyes.

"You said you wanted to talk."

It was hard for Orlando to push Zowie, to almost force her to share her pain, but he was so lost and so confused, that he did the only thing that was left for him to do: give Zowie the chance to talk.

Zowie's blue eyes, usually so bright and full of life, were dark and dull as they looked away, unable to stand his inquisitive gaze. The worst scenarios played in Orlando's mind, and not even thinking that he could be overreacting soothed his concerns. Sundays were the day off for the movies' cast and crew and as far as Orlando knew, Zowie and William spent them with the family. What could have happened there that she was in such state?

"Zowie?"

Orlando's call was a gentle prompt, one he accompanied with a light squeeze of her shoulders. He felt a tiny shuddering coming from her, but he refrained from pointing it out. Instead, he took her hand in his, observing from the corner of his eye as Elijah did the same.

Zowie sighed, her eyes still low and her voice nothing but a whisper when she spoke.

"I do. I..." she hesitated. "I don't even know where to start."

Orlando and Elijah shared another look, and the latter squeezed Zowie's hand as he encouraged her.

"There's enough time, Zowie. I'm not going anywhere and neither is Orlando."

Although Zowie couldn't see him, Orlando nodded to reinforce Elijah's words, their plans for the day wordlessly cancelled the minute they found Zowie waiting at his door.

She sighed again, the weight on her shoulders becoming unbearable. She still had no idea where to start, but as she kept her eyes low, her voice, coming out in a soft murmur, shared the events of the day. Zowie didn't know exactly when tears began to roll down her face, but the gentle touch of warm fingers as they wiped them away tore the last of her barriers down, allowing all her heartbreak and anger to stumble out with no control. Tears blurred her eyes and while a voice inside her told her she was making absolutely no sense in her crying, Zowie simply carried on, needing to let it all out, needing to extract her memories from her very core hoping they would, at last, vanish and leave her alone for the rest of her life.

But they didn't, and Zowie realised how foolish she had been to think otherwise. The words stopped flowing once her story was over, but the grief was still there, still very present and much too real to be ignored. How had she ever imagined she could go on with her life as if nothing had happened? Nothing would ever be the same again. All she had believed in was a lie, a sham, and she had to open her eyes and face a reality that couldn't be pushed aside any longer. William had lied. Her life would change drastically, and she could do nothing to stop it. Yet, more importantly, there was a question that lingered in the back of her mind, gnawing at her conscience with doubt. Would she be able to handle it?

Eventually, her outburst ended, but that fact brought little relief to Zowie's heart. When crying, there had been an outlet to her pain and helplessness, but once her tears were done, it meant the agony had no relief. Nonetheless, sharing her load had made her feel better. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, even if her problems were still very much alive, waiting to pounce on her the minute she turned her back on them.

Trying to push those thoughts aside, she focused instead on absorbing as much energy as she could from the men surrounding her. Some time during her monologue their positions had shifted, and Elijah now sat beside her, her hand in his as he gave it the occasional, reassuring squeeze that let her know he was there for her. As always, Zowie mused. She most likely owed him more than she would ever be able to repay him.

The next thing Zowie noticed warmed her heart, and her sigh was tinted with as much joy as she could muster. Orlando held her in his arms. It was perfectly innocent and it had the sole aim of comforting her but to Zowie, it meant more than he could possibly imagine. It meant she was safe.

Zowie sighed, and while happiness was still a long way ahead, she felt she had found the shelter and care she lacked at her own house. With Orlando's deep breath tickling her face and his arms around her, Zowie realised there wasn't a single other place she would rather be at than there, in Orlando's arms. It didn't matter if he couldn't remember what had happened between them; in that moment, Orlando was as perfect as Zowie had always imagined him to be.

No words were spoken, and Zowie was thankful for that. She had just bared her heart and soul to them, and her outburst had exhausted her to such an extent, she felt nothing was left inside her. She was emotionally drained and as she clung to Orlando, she hoped his strength would somehow seep inside her, showing her the way.

Yet, no matter how numb her emotions felt, her brain worked twice its normal speed, going over and over the events of the morning, replaying every word, every gesture, and painting before her eyes a picture of William's face so realistic, Zowie could have imagined he was right there before her. His blue eyes were regretful and full of sorrow as he told her how much he loved her and how much it had pained him to leave her when she was so little.

Anger bubbled inside her at the thought. Did William really think his pain mattered at all? Sure, it had taken all of him to walk away when she was almost a baby so he could figure out what to do with his life, but he hadn't taken a single look back when getting involved with that woman! Neither had William experienced any regrets when fathering two other kids, or when keeping his wife and children in absolute darkness when it came to his true self. No, Zowie thought to herself. William's regret was something she refused to believe in. She couldn't. She was too angry and felt much too lost to let anyone's pain but her own to come into the picture.

Yet, as soon as those thoughts formed, a picture of her siblings came to Zowie's mind. Jared and Jewell... she was their sister, their _big_ sister, and Zowie couldn't abandon them just because of what their father had done. While she had no idea how to deal with her own confusion, she vowed herself to help her younger siblings the best she could. It was the least she could do.

Sensing Zowie's discomfort and knowing she needed his support, Orlando pulled her close, hoping his gesture offered the comfort she needed. The knowledge that she had gone straight to him flattered Orlando, and while the thought brought only the tiniest hint of fear to his heart, it also warmed it with pride and love.

Zowie was very dear to him; a really good friend Orlando would do anything for. After that moment of panic so long ago, when he woke up on a Sunday morning half undressed and not remembering much of what had happened, Orlando had made sure not to do anything that could ruin the relationship they had. Zowie was so young and while the adoration in her eyes couldn't be ignored, Orlando would never do anything to hurt her. It wasn't so much about William as it had initially been; it was all about Zowie now. She deserved someone good, someone who wouldn't leave the country in a few months time. And his feelings for her, despite the initial attraction, were now of a true, honest friendship, and he would never give her false hopes that would end up breaking her heart.

Remembering William's reaction the day they first met, the same day Orlando had stuck his foot in his mouth in the worst possible way, got him thinking of the older man. While Orlando knew it would be entirely unfair of him to judge William based only on Zowie's side of the story, he certainly couldn't help but feel mad at him. Did William have any idea what he had done to his daughter? William's lies had brought nothing but devastation to the daughter he claimed to adore and looking at her, Orlando had the feeling Zowie's outburst had been nothing but the tip of the iceberg. She would need all his support, and a quick glance in Elijah's direction told him he was thinking the exact same thing.

Orlando might have been lost in thought, but the sudden stiffening of Zowie's body didn't go unnoticed to him. Throwing Elijah a concerned look, Orlando looked down, trying to meet her eyes without breaking their embrace. Elijah, worried too, moved closer.

"What's wrong, Zowie?"

She tensed even more in his embrace.

"What's wrong? Everything is, Orlando... everything! My dad lied to us all these years. He lied to my mum, even cheated on her," shaking her head, Zowie came to a conclusion she voiced with anger and determination. "I don't ever want to see him again. Ever."

The alarmed expression Orlando saw in Elijah's face surely mirrored his own. Orlando knew Zowie was angry; furious, even. Yet, considering what she had just gone through, that moment wasn't right to make decisions such as the one she had just made.

"Zowie, you don't mean that," Orlando tried to reason with her. "I know you're angry and I know you're hurt, but he's your dad and-"

"And he lied to us all these years!" Sitting up straight, Zowie gave Orlando a furious look. "Haven't you heard anything I've said? My dad _lied_ , Orlando! And he would have carried on lying hadn't Jay found that card in his car!"

Fury clouded her eyes and Elijah could see that, while Orlando wanted to soothe some of those stormy emotions away, he just didn't know how.

"We know that, Zow.” Elijah said, earning himself a thankful look from his friend. “What Orlando is trying to say is that maybe it's a bit too soon to make hasty decisions. Perhaps you should talk to your mum and dad first, tell them how you feel and then decide what to do next."

Zowie shook her head.

"No, I won't. There's nothing to talk about and especially _not_ with my dad. If he didn't bother telling us about this, then why on earth should I tell him how I feel? It's not like he cares, anyway." Face set and eyes gleaming with determination, Zowie nodded. "I'm not talking to him."

The determination Elijah and Orlando saw on her face scared them. They both knew how stubborn Zowie was, and now that her mind was set... it couldn't do any good.

"Zowie..."

She interrupted Orlando before he could argue her statement.

"No, Orlando. He's dead to me, and that's my final word."

Orlando closed his eyes, knowing he didn't need to be a fortune teller in order to foretell what would happen if Zowie kept true to her word. Ultimately, it would only break her heart.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39.**

_"Your dad and I will divorce."_

Hardly the surprise of the year, Zowie mused as her mum's words echoed in her mind. Ever since William had admitted having kept a side of his life from them, Zowie had been aware it was only a matter of time until that happened.

 _Divorce_. The word had been looming on Zowie's horizon for the past few days; she should have been prepared. She should have been ready and take it as it was: the only solution available for them after all that had happened.

Why did it hurt so damn much, then?

Bustle and noise surrounded her, but Zowie barely took notice. Wandering aimlessly around the set built in some remote location, Zowie couldn't shake the dark thoughts from her mind. She should have been ready, she repeated to herself. In fact, until the moment her mum said the words, Zowie had considered herself more than ready to take that, and whatever else was thrown her way, in a stride and with indifference.

Yet, in the end, she realised she wasn't. Even if Zowie hadn't broken into tears the way Jewell had or hadn't gone as pale and silent as Jared, the news had still affected her in a way she was ashamed to admit. Keeping her features carefully trained so they wouldn't give anything away, Zowie had shared a long look with her mum, noticing how surprised Noemie was by her reaction, or lack thereof. There had been something in her mum's eyes though, a request, a plead even, for her to let go and cry and scream the way her heart begged her to, but Zowie had refused to acknowledge it. The minute she, in Orlando's house, had determined she would never see her dad again, Zowie had also vowed not to shed another tear because of William. He didn't deserve it.

That's why Zowie had focused on trying to console Jewell instead, murmuring reassuring words in her ear as her arms surrounded her. Most of it hadn't worked and seeing her little sister in such a state had made Zowie want to snap at her. William wasn't worth it! It was time for them to move on on their own and leave him behind, but Zowie bit back her tongue. She had let Jules cry instead, all the time mentally cursing her dad for all that he had done.

Jared, however, had been a completely different story. Noemie had murmured something in his ear, but Zowie wasn't sure he had heard any of it. He had tried to appear unaffected, but Zowie knew he most likely blamed himself for uncovering their dad's secret, and even she wondered at times what would have happened hadn't they stumbled upon that card. Would life still be the same for them? There was no use on wasting time thinking of _what ifs_ , though. It was done, and there was no changing of the circumstances.

With that in mind, Zowie had still tried to console her siblings by showing them her support, but when her mum had stood before her with a concerned look, Zowie had dismissed all her worries with a shrug, despising her mum's silent plea for her to show some sort of emotion at the news.

"You are allowed to say something, you know?" Noemie had said, but Zowie had just shaken her head.

"I have nothing to say."

"Do you want to talk to him?" the thorough investigation she had been subjected to had made her uncomfortable, and at those words, Zowie's eyes and voice had taken a sharp edge.

"No."

Still refusing to acknowledge the way the news had affected her, Zowie hadn't wasted any time leaving the kitchen after that brief exchange with her mum. Finding refuge in her room, Zowie had forced herself to continue with her life as she would usually do, and had even considered turning her computer on in case Brooke was online, but had ended up deciding against it. She hadn't felt much like talking or typing her heart out, for that matter. Perhaps later, when she had worked her head around the news, Zowie would share them with her friend, but in the meantime, she had decided to keep them to herself.

However, something had broken inside Zowie and before she could stop them, tears rolled down her eyes. She didn't know how long she spent crying, but she did know how sobs had torn her body, threatening with ripping it to pieces the same way they broke her heart every time she cried.

Zowie had promised herself she would never cry over her dad, but there she was, letting it get to her just like she had promised it never would. And much to her dismay, she hadn't been able to stop it. The news had affected her more than she wanted to admit, and after she had released her most urgent fears and helplessness in the shape of tears, Zowie had found herself in a familiar position: wondering why she gave William an importance Zowie herself didn't have in his life.

She had let herself be overwhelmed by her feelings, and Zowie hated herself for that weakness. She hated that William had so much power over her, just as much as she dreaded to admit how truly defenceless she was in that mess. Zowie wished to be more active, but what could she possibly do? Not much, to be honest. The one thing she could do, though, and that she knew for a fact could affect William, was keep him from seeing her altogether. Zowie couldn't make her siblings do the same, but as far as she was concerned, William would _never_ see her again. That was her punishment for his lies.

And now, as she tried to avoid being underfoot in that crowded set, Zowie's decision proved to be right. She was so furious at her dad, so mad at him, and at the same time so lost in a moment when uncertainty ruled everything else, that she had taken the only course of action she could think of. Every time William tried to contact her, Zowie refused. Whenever his name flashed on the screen of her cell phone, she sent him straight to her voice mail, deleting his messages without a second thought afterwards. Zowie had even gone as far as blocking him from the contact list of her preferred instant messaging program.

The one place William hadn't yet tried to contact her at, was her own house. He had moved into an apartment somewhere in the Wellington's Business District, but since she didn't plan to visit him any time soon, she hadn't bothered informing herself exactly where. Still, Zowie knew it was only a matter of time. She wasn't an expert in divorces, but she was very aware that William would still have the right to visit his children regularly. It was perfectly fine with her if he wanted to see and Jared and Jewell, but as far as she was concerned, all William would see of her would be... nothing. He had hurt her, yes, but Zowie was ready to fire back just as painfully. It wouldn't be nice, it wouldn't be pretty, but her wounded pride didn't allow her to sit back and do nothing.

Of course, Noemie hadn't quite agreed when Zowie had warned her that she would no longer rely on William to go to work. Either Orlando or Elijah would take her and if they weren't available, there were always other means to make it to the required destination; means that didn't include William, of course. Yet, since she hadn't given her mum any time to complain that morning before leaving the house for the next two days, it was a surprise Noemie hadn't at least tried to contact her yet. Zowie imagined her mum would prefer to discuss her decision face to face instead of over the phone, and while arguing with Noemie was the last thing on her mind, Zowie wasn't afraid to make her point clear, no matter what.

And yet... the pain was still there. Despite all her determination and stubbornness, the feeling of betrayal was still there, and the heartbreak was becoming too strong, too powerful for Zowie to be at ease with it. She knew what it was like to feel lost, to have such an overpowering grief inside her that blocked any other thought or feeling. She had gone through that once, and the way she had chosen out of it... Zowie refused to think about it. It had been crazy, reckless, and stupid, and she should have never done that. Yet, she had, and she now knew there wasn't a pain so strong that couldn't be miraculously undone with a small pill. She wouldn't do it again, though; she _couldn't_ do it again. But the grief, the heartache... it was becoming too much for her to handle on her own.

Zowie was quick to discard such thoughts, though. She knew it was bad, and she could clearly remember how badly she had felt the morning after when the thought of having done something really, really stupid had hit her. Times were different, though, and Zowie clung to that idea with all her might. She had been alone that time, with no one to share her pain with. Now, with Orlando by her side, Zowie felt strong enough to leave the bed every morning and face the day, if not with a smile, at least with a healthy dose of curiosity. He was always there for her, and his attention and care spoke volumes of his feelings.

Zowie sighed and closed her eyes, the tiniest hint of a smile playing on her lips. So what if he didn't say the words? Perhaps the problem was he didn't know _how_. But what Orlando was doing for her... _that_ was love. And as long as he kept doing it, Zowie felt confident enough to keep all fake sources of solace at bay. With Orlando by her side, Zowie was sure she could do anything.

And he was always there. Even if he wasn't around physically, Orlando made sure to call her and see how she was. It was with those phone calls and those long chats that Zowie discovered herself sharing with him feelings and impressions that not even Brooke was informed of. It was unfair of her and Zowie was very aware of that, but there wasn't much Brooke could do while on the other end of the country. She couldn't drop her classes and come to visit her as if they still lived five minutes away from each other, and that simple, yet painfully obvious fact was what drew her closer and closer to Orlando. That, combined to the fascination she had always felt for him, plus the feelings that she sheltered in her heart, made the young actor the natural choice of confident for Zowie.

That alone was enough for her to forget all the pain he had put her through. How could someone as wonderful as Orlando cause her so much grief on purpose? Sure, it still hurt Zowie that he didn't remember what had happened between them, but she could definitely look past that and face a future that could only be brighter. That's why Zowie had found herself confiding in Orlando more with each passing day. The fact that he would be leaving in only a few months time and that her chances of seeing him again after that were very slim, if not next to none, never crossed her mind. Or maybe the problem was that Zowie was extremely aware of that, and that was why she devoted as much time as she could to their relationship. She never lost hope, for it constituted the one thing that kept her sane, and sanity was something she coveted much those days.

It was anything but easy for Zowie to carry on with her life and her decisions with any normalcy as days passed by. Even if she tried not to dwell on what she had been through, even as she tried her earnest to block all thoughts, images and memories from her mind, they kept bouncing back, thanks to the treacherous nature of her own mind, and the behaviour of those around her.

How could Zowie ever block the past for good if every time she went back home she found either Jewell crying or her mum arguing over the phone with her dad? And that wasn't it. For some reason, Noemie was determined to get her talking about the one thing Zowie had no intention of doing so: William.

Her decision was firm, her mind was made up and she was not going back on her words no matter what. It was a matter of pride. If Zowie hadn't given in to her dad's persistence so far, what dignity would remain in her if she did it now? If William became aware that her façade was strong enough to last only for a few days, what would stop him from playing her once again in the future?

The answer was simple, and it rang in Zowie's mind, impossible to ignore. Nothing. The answer was _nothing_. There was this tiny, remote, yet still very clear possibility that Zowie, if the worst came to happen, would break down, give in, and forgive her father no matter what he had done or how much pain he had put her through, and that sole thought disgusted her beyond belief. If she did that, she would never be able to live with herself. That's why she needed to remain strong in her determination, for giving in was not an option if she wanted to have some pride left.

Yet, keeping true to her intentions without yielding to the unbearable stress around her was draining, so Zowie tried her best to spend as little time home as possible. Most of her days were spent away on location, following Orlando and Elijah around and still doing her job. She knew what needed to be done, but she wasn't William and while it angered her to be reminded of that, she had enough humility inside her to step aside and leave Geoff or whoever else was in charge lead over what needed to be done.

She made sure to remain involved, though; William was _not_ going to rob her of that too. With so many units working at the same time, William was always needed elsewhere, leaving her the chance to stick around Geoff as if nothing had happened. While there wasn't much Zowie could do since he was in charge, she made sure not to remain idle. If there wasn't much training or rehearsing she could help with, she offered herself for anything else, not wanting to give anyone the chance to complain about her presence there. Besides, keeping herself busy was the best way to keep the darkness at bay.

And she had been doing so well that day... so well! They were in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but green fields extended before her, rocks scattered here and there giving the open field a jagged appearance. They had arrived early that morning, and with Orlando, Viggo, John Rhys-Davies and his stunt shooting some pivotal scenes that involved no swordfighting at all but plenty of running instead, Zowie was left with little to do but hang around and try not to be underfoot amidst the multitude of people. They would probably stay up all night, waiting for a particular scene they needed to shoot at dawn, and the prospect of camping under the stars was very attractive. In the meantime, Zowie had laughed, had made others laugh and above all, she had managed to forget, albeit momentarily, all the issues that troubled her.

Nonetheless, all it took was the ringtone of her cell phone to shatter that peace to shreds.

A feeling of dread ran down her spine and reluctantly, Zowie eyed the display, allowing herself a sigh of relief at the name flashing there. A second later, however, uneasiness filled her once again. _Mum's cell_. So finally Noemie tried to contact her. Problem was, Zowie didn't feel like putting up with a continuation to their early morning argument.

_"What are you trying to do, Zowie? You just can't keep on ignoring William, he's your father! What else are you trying to do now, never answer his calls for the rest of your life? Pretend he never existed?"_

That was pretty much what Zowie intended to do, but Noemie obviously didn't quite agree with the idea. And since she had yet to get an answer from her daughter, who had walked out on their argument without a  single look back, Noemie had gone against Zowie's prediction and was trying to get one over the phone. So much for thinking Noemie would want to do that face to face, Zowie mused.

_"This has to stop, Zowie. Right now, you hear me? Yes, he did wrong. Believe me, I know exactly what you're thinking. William hurt you, but this is not the way to handle things. Can't you see there is only one person who will end up hurt in the end, and that's you?"_

_"Thanks, mum,"_ Zowie mused, hating the tears that stung her eyes at the memory. _"Thanks for telling me dad doesn't give a damn about me, and for opening my eyes to what I've tried to ignore all along."_ And while Noemie's words had indeed opened her eyes, Zowie struggled to come to terms with it. The idea that her dad had cared so little about them that he had to go and have a completely different family had been lurking in the back of her mind for some time now.

_"Can't you see there is only one person who will end up hurt in the end, and that's you?"_

With those words echoing in her mind, Zowie stuffed her phone in her pocket, hoping to argue a bad reception later. Still, she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. She could handle Jewell's drama, her tears and her incessant blabbing about how much she loved their dad. She could put up with Jared's stoic silence, even when it meant the turmoil inside him was something he definitely couldn't handle on his own. But there was one thing Zowie couldn't do, and that was admit that her worst fears were true and that she had been right all along.

William didn't care about them.

Why was she so surprised, anyway? Hadn't he spent sixteen years lying to them? No man, no _real_ man, Zowie thought bitterly, would do that to the same people he claimed to love. But William had, and that was enough proof to back her opinion on her dad. They weren't important to him, and if that was the case, why should he be of any importance to her? She could very well live her life on her own without him by her side.

When Zowie thought of all the times she had been sad after doing something that had disappointed William, she cursed herself. He had been so excited about her furthering her education, and she had been so worried about telling him she wanted to take a gap year... That thought and many others brought tears to her eyes, and even as she tried her earnest, they eventually rolled down her cheeks, tearing through the barriers she had worked so hard to build.

It was then that Zowie regretted that her phone had found enough signal in that remote spot for Noemie's call to get through. She could have gone on fine if her mum hadn't called, but now... Now the pain, until then nothing but embers that refused to die down, burning with a low heat she had learnt to deal with, had become a raging fire that consumed her whole. And in doing so, it absorbed what little resistance she had to grief, leaving her begging for a way out, one that actually existed but that Zowie was too scared to try again.

Perhaps, by the time she returned to Wellington Zowie might have found a way to deal with the devastating pain she felt, but if she failed to, if the pain refused to disappear... Zowie shook her head, adamantly refusing to visit that dark place again. She couldn't let pain overrule everything else, not if there was the tiniest light of hope that she could hold on to. Zowie had been there once, had gambled with her life once, but had nonetheless been able to come out with a lesson learned. But a second time? She might not be so lucky then.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40.**

 

_“Now we've opened up the door_

_Starting tonight and from now on_

_We'll never, never be the same again”_

**_Melanie C – Never Be The Same Again_ **

 

Saturday night couldn't come too soon.

All through that week, every possible thing that could have gone wrong in Zowie's life, had indeed gone so. It all started with Noemie's call. Even if Zowie hadn't answered it, she had nonetheless been angered by the emotional breakdown it had brought along. Then, as if that wasn't enough, and just when Zowie had managed to forget most of her pain, Noemie had been waiting for her the minute Orlando dropped her off at her house. And judging by the look on her face, she had every intention of cross-examining her daughter as soon as he left.

Zowie's initial intention had been simple: nod in agreement to everything Noemie said, take a shower and a power nap, and then get out of that house as soon as possible. Her mum, however, had had other plans, plans Zowie hadn't considered until she saw the look on Noemie's face.

At first, and as long as her mum's questions focused solely on the unanswered phone calls, Zowie had managed to keep true to her vow, arguing a bad reception as planned. Nonetheless, the minute Noemie's intentions became clear and the topic moved closer and closer to William, Zowie hadn't been able to hold herself back any longer. Telling Noemie exactly what she thought of her dad and his behaviour, she had also made very clear that she wouldn't appreciate anyone meddling in her affairs. Not even Noemie herself.

Up until that moment, turning eighteen had been important to Zowie for a number of reasons, like being able to go clubbing, drinking and driving, but it wasn't until that moment that she realised the true importance of that event. Zowie was legally an adult now, with power over her decisions and able to escape the cage of being forced to see her dad a certain number of times a week. If that managed to hurt William in the process, then so be it. He deserved it. He could always go to his other children for comfort, Zowie thought bitterly.

Giving Noemie no further chance to add anything, Zowie had spun on her heels and walked away, locking herself in her room the usual way. Yet, although she tried not just to lock the world out but also the pain, none of it had worked. She had tried to sleep, but it had been a complete failure; there was simply too much going on in her head, and it refused to settle down enough for her to get some rest. Nothing had seemed to work, and not even the usually soothing view of Evans Bay from her bedroom window did the trick, leaving her with nothing to do but think until it was late enough for her to go out as she and the others had planned.

For a moment, Noemie's long forgotten sleeping pills had crossed Zowie's mind. They had been an inestimable help the one time she had used them and would most likely do the same for her that day, but there was no way out of her room without Noemie coming down on her. She hadn't knocked on her door once, but Zowie knew better than to expect complete inaction from her; the moment she set foot out of her bedroom, Noemie would be there waiting. That much she knew.

And she had been right. When the idea of spending another minute locked up in her room became unbearable, Zowie had decided it was time to get ready for the night before she drove herself mad with all the thoughts tangling up in her brain.

It didn't surprise Zowie that all her predictions regarding her mum had been proved right the moment she stepped out of her room to find Noemie staring down at her from the top of the stairs. Not that she had given her a single chance, though, not as she hastily entered the bathroom for what she hoped was a relaxing shower. That concept, however, was soon discarded when Zowie realised she was much too tense for the water to relax her in any way. She had still taken her time, though, hoping that the warmth running down her skin could somehow thaw the ice that frosted her heart.

It hadn't, of course, but since Zowie was becoming an expert on pushing her problems to the back of her mind so they wouldn't bother her anymore, she had nonetheless stepped out of the bathroom. She had made sure, however, not to cast even the quickest glance in the stairs' direction in case Noemie read it as an invitation to talk about all those issues Zowie tried her earnest to avoid.

With her mind focused on blocking the pain, Zowie devoted all her energies on looking her best for a night out with her friends. She carefully did her hair and make up and put special care on choosing the right outfit and accessories, but not even her best efforts could counter-attack the numbness growing inside her. By the time Elijah picked her up and they met Orlando at the club, Zowie knew for a fact the darkness around her would only become bigger and bigger.

She still partied as if nothing had happened, though, as if her world hadn't been turned upside down. And for the most part of the night, Zowie managed to keep that façade up as she danced with Elijah and flirted with Orlando, regardless of how unidirectional the latter could be. Yet, as the night progressed and the darkness shifted around her like a mist that threatened to swallow her whole, Zowie knew there was only one thing she could do.

The minute she made up her mind, it seemed something about her had called out for him, for his tall form appeared in her range of view. Standing by the bar with a smile that made her shiver from head to toe, Zowie took a moment to try and force some sense into herself. There were millions of reasons why she shouldn't do it, but the moment she felt that familiar oppression in her chest that was such a clear sign of her overwhelming pain, Zowie knew there was no avoiding it. Excusing herself from her friends and making sure they couldn't see where she was going, Zowie headed straight to the bar, her feet heavy as her heart fluttered with dread. Nothing could have stopped her, though. She needed a way out, and she needed it _now_.

"Tony."

His smile was the picture of innocence, although Zowie knew for a fact there was not a single trace of it left in him.

"Hi, darling. What can I do for you tonight?" Tony's tone was mellow, and the knowing glow in his eyes made Zowie grit her teeth. There was a thing or two she could say that would wipe that expression from his face, but she decided against sharing them with Tony in the last minute; being arrogant wouldn't get her what she needed.

Swallowing her rebelliousness, Zowie finally answered.

"I need more of what you gave me that night."

The grin Tony directed at her brought a shiver down her spine.

"Sure, honey," he said as he stepped closer to her, his voice casual yet with just the tiniest hint of a warning. "It won't be for free, though. The time for presents is over."

"I know. I just... I need some."

Tony gave her a broad smile, pleased at the way Zowie shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny. Once again he had been right. Once again, Tony had been able to read the signs without mistake, and now that Zowie was desperate for some relief, he wouldn't be the one to say no to her... not as long as she had the right amount of money in her purse, of course.

The transaction was quick and subtle. Zowie handed him the money Tony had instructed her to and in return, she got two light blue pills she barely got a glimpse before shoving them in her purse. Still, the difference to that first red pill didn't go unnoticed, and she couldn't help but give Tony a questioning look.

"Are you sure these are the same? I mean, the other one-"

"You better start learning, darling," Tony interrupted her with a knowing smile at her confusion. "Colour doesn't change a thing, just the look of it. The feeling is exactly the same."

Zowie couldn't have spent another minute near Tony. Giving him a sharp nod, she quickly stepped away, getting herself a bottle of water from the bar in the process. Relief was just around the corner, but she couldn't repress the mix of longing and fear that brewed inside her. Her heart and brain tugged at her in different directions, and Zowie felt momentarily overwhelmed by it. Her brain screamed at her to throw the pills away and never even toy with the idea again, but her heart pleaded for relief.

Lost, confused, and overcome by pain, a self-conscious and wary Zowie fingered the pills she had shoved in her purse, absent-mindedly toying with them as she contemplated the possibilities. She knew that once the drug entered her system there would be no way out but, what guaranteed that there would be such thing for her if she faced her problems on her own? It had already been proved that the darkness was much too powerful for Zowie to fight it on her own, and there was so much going on around her, that she felt the urge to run away and hide from her problems, even if only for the shortest while. She would never be able to do that on her own, but the pills... they could certainly help.

Just once, Zowie told to herself, unaware that she had made herself that same promise some time ago. Didn't she deserve to be happy? Didn't she deserve a chance to escape from the grown-ups' problems so that she could be a normal eighteen year old girl again? That was enough to make up her mind. Throwing all caution to the wind, Zowie swallowed one of the pills before even having the chance to regret it. That night, the pills would release her from all her problems.

That night, Zowie would be herself.

***

Elijah couldn't tear his eyes from Zowie, the glow of interest and suspicion shining in them. Endless energy, bubbling joy... it seemed Zowie was determined to outdo every single person in the club that night. Not an easy feat, Elijah noted, not when everyone seemed to ooze energy and desire to party that Saturday night. Maybe Zowie was just soaking up in the buzz around her, but Elijah still couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't entirely right.

He wasn't blind. Neither was he stupid, and some things didn't escape him. Zowie being depressed and low for the past few days, for example, was something Elijah had picked up right away. He had seen Zowie's efforts to hide it, how she had even managed to forget about it for some time, but the pain was like a dark cloud casting its shadow over her. She didn't mention it, of course, but there was no need to; it was there, and it was impossible to ignore.

That's why he and Orlando had taken Zowie out that night. It was obvious she needed a distraction, and a night out at her favourite club seemed to be the right choice. He wasn't surprised, however, when the happy look on Zowie's face hadn't taken long to vanish. There had been a haunted look in her eyes, a shadow that had darkened them and an overall feeling that Zowie was walking on the edge of a cliff, and then... nothing. All of a sudden, all of it, all the darkness and tension that had surrounded, they were all gone. And it was odd, much too odd for his liking.

Elijah had seen it happening before. The sudden change in the mood, the unfathomable energy, the euphoria... the signs were clear, but he refused to believe Zowie would do something as stupid.

But he had seen it before, and in people who had had far less reasons to stress over than Zowie did in that moment. Until not long ago, she had had a well established family with a strict but loving mother, a doting father, and a brother and a sister she loved, but now, that solid foundation had crumbled to dust around her. Elijah shook his head. That alone was enough to send anyone over the edge, and if he added Zowie's disastrous experience with Orlando to the question, well... she probably had more reasons than anyone to lose perspective on things for a while.

However, none of that justified her actions, not if Elijah's worst fears were true. No matter how sad or devastated Zowie could be, there was always someone to talk to, someone to share the load with. If she felt she couldn't do it with her mum, then there was always Brooke, Orlando, or Elijah himself to help her. Zowie knew that, otherwise she wouldn't have gone to Orlando when she found out the truth about her father, so why couldn't she do it now? Keeping it bottled up inside her would do Zowie no good, and if his suspicions were right, it would only get worst.

Determined, Elijah realised he would need to keep a close eye on Zowie. If he was right, then he couldn't allow her to go on. Her health was involved... her _life_ was involved! Elijah hadn't planned on something like that when moving to New Zealand, but Zowie was his friend and she obviously needed his help. If no one else could see it, then it was his duty to do something about it, hoping with all his heart it would be enough.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41.**

 

Fury coiled inside Zowie in a dangerous way as she angrily stalked down the stairs, blood pumping in her ears and blocking her mum's voice. The minute she reached the door Zowie had every intention of spinning on her heels and telling Noemie exactly what she thought of their ongoing argument regarding William, but finally decided against it. Taking a different course of action, Zowie blatantly ignored her mum and slammed the door closed as powerfully as she could, hoping even the house walls shook under the might of the blow. Not that she got anything out of it save the sheer, perverse pleasure of finally shutting Noemie up, but in that instant, it was more than enough for Zowie.

Yet, regardless of how satisfying slamming the door closed on her mum's face could be, Zowie didn't linger to see the product of her small victory and rushed towards the street instead. Knowing Noemie, Zowie wouldn't be surprised if her mum decided to follow her and continue their argument in the middle of the street where everyone could see them. That was why Zowie broke into a jog, speeding away from her house. Although Noemie wasn't the kind of person who would follow her screaming, so much had changed over the past couple of months that Zowie wouldn't be shocked to discover that Noemie's usual demure and sobriety had vanished in the air.

And many things had indeed changed in that time, more than Zowie knew how to deal with. That was why she had built a wall around her, blocking everyone outside. Why try to be brave and deal with someone else's problems? Zowie had enough with her own as it was to even try the selfless way.

Fortunately for her, she did a pretty decent job of it most of the time. Sure, Zowie had to admit she often got an extra hand that efficiently wiped everything from her brain except for enjoyment and pleasure, but who could blame her? Her dad insisted on talking to her and as for her mum, well... what had just happened was a perfect example of their relationship as of late. Zowie needed that extra help to go on, and it was only during those times that she felt she could brush with the tip of her fingers the oblivion she so desperately sought.

Nonetheless, it was never enough. It was never a full grasp, one that guaranteed everything would go back to normal, and its effects were far too short for Zowie's liking. Yet, those brief moments ecstasy offered her were enough to give her the strength to carry on and face the mess that both her personal and family life had become.

She was caught in a vicious circle, but the thought held little surprise to Zowie. There was no other way for her to deal with things, not without getting more hurt than she already was. But what could she do when William's attempts to reach her only seemed to become more and more creative? The moment he finally understood Zowie wasn't answering his calls, William had taken a liking to drop by her house unannounced, making it extremely difficult for her to avoid him. She still succeeded, however, but that didn't mean those visits didn't take their toll on her. As soon as all anger vanished, nothing but vulnerability and pain remained, opening new wounds in her heart.

Why couldn't everyone see she needed space and time to think things through? Zowie had the feeling everyone kept throwing problems and drama at her, demands she couldn't possibly handle. Like her mum, for example. Even if months had passed since Zowie had made it very clear that she was _not_ seeing her dad again, Noemie still wouldn't give up. And then, to make matters worst, Zowie had discovered that Jared was contemplating the idea of meeting those two other kids.

How could he do that to her? Zowie was beyond angry - she was furious. From the very beginning, Jared had had all her support, and even at her worst, Zowie had always been conscious of the way their parents' divorce had affected her siblings. Why couldn't they show the same loyalty towards her? And Jared, of all people! Zowie wouldn't have been surprised to find out Jewell had considered the idea; she was young and curious and she loved William dearly, but Jared? He had been just as affected as Zowie had, perhaps even more since it had been him the one to actually uncover their dad's secret. How could he betray her that way? Sure, Jay had yet to actually take the final step and ask William to meet the kids, but how long would it take? She couldn't believe it. Jared was too nice, too good, and surely William had poisoned him, convincing him to take his side. The sole thought enraged Zowie, and whenever she felt that way there was only one thing she could do. When everyone else disappointed her, only one thing proved to be stable and dependable: drugs.

She would have to hold back that time, though, the main reason being Zowie had none of it on herself after her hasty escape. With her stash safely hidden in her closet, it wasn't like she could have got some of it on her way out without Noemie noticing. Besides, it wasn't like Zowie spent her entire days under the influence of the drugs, of course. She felt tempted to, that was for sure, but she liked to believe that she had her habits under control. She could handle it, it was no big deal. Even if the pills did bring a welcomed relief, there were still times when Zowie was hit by a bout of sobriety that made her wonder the sanity of what she was doing.

She was playing with fire and she knew it. Yet, Zowie depended on the escape the pills offered her way too much to quit and go back to her life as it was as if nothing had happened. That was why Zowie considered the drugs as some sort of temporal arrangement, something with an expiration date not too far away in the future. After all, bad things couldn't last forever, right? Everything had to change at some point. Zowie knew things would never go back to the way they used to be, but once she left Wellington to attend University, then she would be far too busy to even think of the problems she had left behind.

Her main issue was simple: while still in Wellington, Zowie was in the midst of things, in the middle of everything that went on with her family. She was exactly in the vortex of all the madness, and the toll it was taking on her was simply too much for her. Zowie was constantly on Noemie's target for one thing or the other and honestly, she was more than a little tired of it. Her dramatic exit was proof of that, and Zowie had the feeling there would be a lot more of those if Noemie didn't understand, for once and for all, that Zowie had no interest whatsoever on seeing her dad, no matter how much her mum insisted.

That was one of the reasons why Zowie was filled with a renewed feeling of pride when she realised another day had passed and she had kept true to her determination. Her success only made her stronger, proud that she hadn't caved to her family's desires, no matter what. When even her grandmothers had taken to try and reason with her, something Zowie could have easily done without, nothing was easy. Yet, she didn't care if they wanted the best for her or if they just were worried about her. All she wanted was for everyone to leave her alone until she figured out how to solve things on her own. Zowie knew what she was doing and more importantly, why she did it, and she didn't need anyone's advice. If only they understood!

But no one did. The only two people that didn't push her into doing things that she didn't want to do or that she wasn't ready to, were Orlando and Elijah. They had instantly understood Zowie's intentions in a way not even her family or Brooke had, and a grimace suddenly wrinkled Zowie's face at the thought. Brooke had showed interest, but what had Zowie done in return? She had hung up on her friend just as rudely as she had slammed the door on her mum's face just minutes ago. Still, Zowie failed to see the reason behind her friend's words. All she could see in them was preaching and more preaching, people wanting her to surrender her pride and pretend nothing had happened.

Everyone, except Orlando. Elijah had adopted a similar behaviour and she cherished him even more for that, but Orlando... the fact that he was almost the only person to support her only made her feelings for him grow stronger. Him and his support were the only things that managed to keep Zowie firm on her feet now.

Orlando was always considerate, giving her the chance to share whatever troubled her heart and never demanding things from her Zowie simply couldn't give. He never told her what he thought was better for her and if he did, it was always regarding other aspects of her life and never the family one. And what mattered Zowie the most, Orlando was always there for her. Every time she needed a hug, he was the one to give it to her. When she needed a shoulder to cry on, it was always his the one she went to. And it was Orlando the one who tried to distract her, going out or simply spending time with her. Long forgotten were those days when he had broken her heart, causing her a grief similar to the one she felt now. He was the centre of Zowie's life now, for she felt Orlando was the only person in the world who would never hurt her.

Still, Zowie felt guilty. She hated keeping her habits a secret from her friends, and although she tried not to do it around them, some times it was just impossible. She never did drugs while on set, though; even at her worst, the safety measures she had been instilled all her life were first and foremost in Zowie's mind. Not just that, if anyone found out what was going on with her, she would most likely lose her job, not to mention that her parents would be promptly informed. The guys helped her, though, in a way they would probably never know. Orlando and Elijah were the ones that kept the shadows away, giving her the courage to stay clean.

A side of her told Zowie that what she was doing was wrong, but the other one, the impulsive one, the same one that had always spurred her as far as Orlando was concerned, told her to ignore everything else. So what if her world became smaller and smaller, circling around Orlando more closely with every passing day? It could certainly do no harm if that person didn't mean to hurt her! It was Orlando's obvious love and care for her what kept her away from the pills most of the times. If he hadn't been around, then Zowie didn't even want to think what would be of her; she had the feeling not even the pills would have been able to hold her together had that been the case.

A shiver ran down her spine, and Zowie thanked God things weren't that bad. Orlando was by her side, would be there for a long time and that was all that mattered. Perhaps that time wouldn't be as long as Zowie would have liked, but she still planed to make the most out of the weeks they had left, for she had yet to give up on her romantic dreams now fuelled by Orlando's attentions.

If that came to happen, if Orlando finally admitted his feelings for her, then Zowie was certain there wasn't a single thing in the world that she couldn't face. He was the strength she craved, and with Orlando by his side, Zowie could do anything, even deal with the disaster that surrounded her. He would be the one to keep her on her feet, that much Zowie knew, and as long as she had that, she felt strong and sure of herself. The sole possibility of all that disappearing the moment Orlando left New Zealand was ruled out from her mind the minute it appeared. That could never happen, for if it did, Zowie was sure she would lose what little stability remained in her.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42.**

_“What should I do?”_

The question had echoed in William's head a thousand times, but it had floated there unanswered every single time. It didn't matter how much he wrecked his brain for a answer; nothing came in his aid and it was beginning to desperate him.

Why did Zowie insist on carrying on like that? If William had to be honest, then he had to admit he knew very well why his daughter acted that way. She was punishing him and as much as it hurt him, as much as he hated the situation they were in, William couldn't deny that he had brought that upon himself all on his own.

He had never imagined it would be that way but, then again, what had he expected, anyway? For things to remain a secret all his life and possibly beyond? For his family to never know about his _other_ family as he kept those two sides of his life as separate as possible? It had taken one simple event to bring all that to pieces, and William now knew he had spent the past sixteen years avoiding the subject, hoping it would somehow solve itself without him having to address it directly.

He had been wrong all along, of course.

Now everyone knew, and he had hurt them all with his carelessness. He wasn't worried about what most people could think of him and his behaviour, but he was secretly glad his father wasn't alive to witness his stupidity. His mother, however, was still very much so, and she hadn't wasted a single minute telling William exactly what she thought of his actions.

He shouldn't have been surprised, though. Susannah was a bulldozer, one who managed to intimidate the life out of anyone without losing one bit of her composure, but William was used to it, and had always known how to fight back for what he wanted. Like swordfighting, for example. Susannah had approved of it while still a hobby, but when William had let her know he wouldn't join the family business in order to pursue a career in movie and TV productions, his mother had been furious. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, she could never convince him of leaving his true devotion behind, and William was proud of keeping firm on his two feet regarding many aspects of his life as far as Susannah was concerned.

There had been one time, however, when William hadn't been able to say no. When sixteen years ago Susannah had discovered that William was planning to divorce Noemie and start a new life with Fiona, she hadn't sat back to watch. She had acted.

While some of her reasons couldn't have swayed William no matter what, others had made him see sense. So what if she threatened to cut off the money that was rightfully his? He was a partner in the family business, even if not an actively participant one and no one, not even Susannah, could have deprived him of his right. It had been her threats of taking Noemie's side on the divorce and doing her best so William wouldn't see Zowie and Jared again what had done the trick.

He hadn't know how true or actually achievable her threats were, but it had been the one thing to make William stop, sit back, and think. Could she really do that? William wouldn't have been surprised to find out Susannah was capable of that and much more. She was powerful, very much so, and he hadn't doubted for a minute that she would do anything within her reach to keep true to her word, and the sole possibility of him never seeing his children again had been enough for William to reconsider his future.

What would he do without Zowie and Jared? That was the question that had plagued William's mind all those years ago. He had been torn inside. He loved his children, God knew he would do anything in his power to keep them from any pain, but William had also wanted more from life, things he couldn't get when tied down to a family life.

He hadn't felt ready to settle down and become the family man everyone had expected him to be. William had wanted to have fun, enjoy everything life had to offer and maybe travel abroad with his job, but he hadn't been able to get that with the way things had been back then. He remembered an angry Susannah questioning him, wondering why William had got married in the first place if there was so much he wanted to do.

William's answer had been simple, though. He loved Noemie. At least, back then. He would always have a healthy respect for her for the way she had risen their children, but as years passed by and William realised he was even more trapped than before, it had had a consequence on his feelings for his wife. It had obviously affected Noemie as well and, over time, they had come to an agreement, a tacit one that allowed them to be civil about each other in their family's benefit. Once the lights were out, however, the façade dropped, and although they shared a bed, nothing else bounded them anymore.

They had done it all for their children, and yet William questioned the wisdom behind that decision. Wouldn't it have been better for Zowie and Jared to grow up with parents that were honest about their feelings? He knew that the love Noemie had once felt for him had faded a long time ago, and God knew the pressure had taken its toll on him as well. They still tried to make it work, though, if only in their childrens' benefit, and for some time they had succeeded – Jewell was the living proof of that. But as years passed, there was no denying anymore. Things would never be the same again.

Just as William's feelings for his wife waned, his sentiments for Fiona grew exponentially. She had enchanted him from the very beginning. Meeting by chance on a doctor's office, Fiona had been the only woman with enough power over William to make him change everything in his life. She had never asked such thing from him, though, just like she had never asked him to choose between her and his wife. All of that combined, had attracted William to her even more.

Yet, while Fiona had never forced him into anything, other people had indeed made William choose between the woman he was beginning to love, and the children he adored. It had been hard, it tore his heart apart, but in the end, he chose Noemie, taking the respectable family life and the security of having his children by his side over the love he felt for Fiona.

He could never leave her behind, though. Not once taking the time to think of the possible consequences, William had simply followed his heart. Keeping himself blind to the wrong in his actions, he had been delighted when Fiona discovered she was pregnant. It had been unexpected and terrifying at the very beginning, but as everything progressed and William discovered he _could_   keep both sides of his life going, as well as he could keep them separated, he had embraced it all fully.

There had been a time when the unfairness in his actions had filled his mind, but William had been able to dodge it as skilfully as he avoided the questioning on his many absences. Sure that he was only doing what his heart told him to, he had carried on. The bitterness remained, nonetheless, and as his and Fiona's children grew up and he wasn't around as much as he would have liked, William had begun to wonder whether he was doing the right thing.

It was much too late to wonder that now, he realised. He had lied to everyone. Not just to Noemie letting her believe his relationship with Fiona had ended years ago, or to their children, he had also lied to the kids born of his stable bond with Fiona. Just as Zowie, Jared and Jewell, Tim and Cathy knew nothing about his father's hidden, or actually public, life. They lived just outside Wellington, and while they had questioned why William didn't live with them, he and Fiona had been able to work that out, telling them different lies as they grew up. They too had to be informed of the changes in his father's life and he was sure they would be just as hurt as his other children had been.

Susannah was right, he mused. William was a coward of the worst kind, a selfish idiot who only cared about himself. And now everyone was paying the price.

His mind went to his and Noemie's children. They had been torn apart by the revelation, and the fact that it was him who had caused them so much pain devastated William. He should have known, though; he should have known that something like that would happen sooner or later and that those hurt would be the most innocent ones, but he had still carried on, and now he had to witness the disaster he had inflicted upon his children.

Jewell, for example. She was young... so young! She was nothing but a little girl and he had broken her heart. She was lost, not really sure what her feelings for him were anymore, and it had taken him a long conversation with her and Jared to make her understand some things. Yes, William had made many, many mistakes, but his love for them was still intact. Jewell wasn't exactly back to her usual self yet, but she was on her way, and it relieved him immensely.

Jared too was slowly coming to terms with the idea. William had never pushed him, though, just like he had never pushed Jewell into anything since the divorce. He had still seen them regularly and slowly, that oddness that had surrounded every meeting had begun to fade, leaving room for some of the old familiarity to sink back in. It was a long way from normalcy, though, but William could deal with it. With Jared being so obviously affected by the news, William was willing to take anything, no matter how small, if that meant his son trusted him again enough to let him into his heart like he had done not long ago.

To be honest, William had never expected any of his and Noemie's children to express any interest on meeting Fiona's, but when Jared had hinted that he was considering the idea, William had seen the tiniest flicker of hope at the end of the tunnel. Nothing would be normal again, but if they could achieve some way to exist around each other that didn't end up hurting those involved, then he would be pleased.

Of course, Zowie was a completely different story altogether. She refused to see him, refused to acknowledge he even existed, and while William had expected some harsh action from her, he wasn't ready for that. Zowie had pretty much declared him dead the minute he admitted the truth, and her behaviour had a power over him that he couldn't control.

Anger, revenge, grief, they all led Zowie's actions. William was unable to counteract them, and as he paced up and down his flat, he realised with a shock that he hadn't spoken to Zowie in almost four months. He had seen her in that time, yes, but with Zowie not feeling the least inclined to even grace him with a single glance in his direction, William had to content himself with her icy, stubborn silence. And now he had the feeling he was running out of time.

How long it would take until all those feelings simmering inside Zowie exploded? How long until all that pain left her scarred for life? A shiver ran down his spine as William stood by the window. What if that had already happened? What if his daughter would never be able to recover from the pain he had inflicted on her?

William's shoulders sagged with defeat. How much longer would she be able to go on like that? Yes, Zowie was the most stubborn person William had ever met, something she had taken after him, but in that moment, it wasn't about her throwing a tantrum about not getting away with something. It was her life on the line, her well-being, and most likely her future.

As far as Noemie had told him, Zowie was alienating everyone. She didn't share her thoughts with her mum no matter how hard she tried, and she didn't hesitate on telling Noemie what she thought of her attempts to do so. She hadn't ever turned to Jared, who had always been her sidekick in many, many things, and not even Brooke had been able to talk some sense into her. There were only two people she trusted, and she made sure to stay as close to them as possible: Orlando and Elijah.

William frowned. He had never been entirely sure about Orlando and Zowie being together in any way, having never forgotten the young man's ill-fated comment so long ago. And yet, William now had to begrudgingly admit that Orlando was probably doing for Zowie what William himself couldn't do. According to Geoff, in whose charge Zowie was when on set, Orlando was the only one who could bring a smile to her face, even if she pretended to go on as if nothing had happened. Even Noemie had pointed out that their daughter only seemed happy when Orlando was around.

William appreciated his efforts, he certainly did, but a side of him still refused to trust Orlando completely. He would leave New Zealand in a month. What would Zowie do then? The fact that he was doing for Zowie what William himself couldn't do only made his feelings of wariness grow. Orlando had managed to gain access to Zowie's heart, while all William had got was an unbreakable silence in return. It made him angry and a little jealous, and while he knew he was being ridiculous, William couldn't help himself. Zowie trusted Orlando, and a part of William hated him for that.

He still wondered how she coped, though. There wasn't a moment of the day when William didn't stop thinking of Zowie. He wished to help her so badly, but he felt his hands were bound. He couldn't push her without hurting her even more in the process, and being helpless did nothing to make him feel better about himself.

Why couldn't he be more strict? Why hadn't he been able to set firm grounds with Zowie so she now knew who the parent was and respected him accordingly? William sighed. The answer was simple. He didn't have the right to. He had never had. All the time, all those years, guilt had hung heavy on his shoulders, making him feel he didn't have the right to be strict after all that he had done. He had left her when she was little more than a baby, one that followed him everywhere and that melted him with her sparkling blue eyes that matched his.

How could he leave her behind? He loved all his children, but Zowie... Zowie had always had something, a way about herself that had enchanted him since she was very little. Besides, how to stop, how to limit someone he could see so much of himself in? Zowie was determined, stubborn, and would never take a no for an answer without working hard to change that. How could he stop that? He had never felt able to either, not without looking at her and thinking what a bastard he had been for leaving her so many years ago. Zowie had always been able to do as she pleased with him, not because she was mean or because she meant ill; she just did it because she knew her dad was game, that she had an accomplice in him. Yet, all of that had been thrown back on his face, making William see the wrong in his actions; wrongs he couldn't change for it was too late.

Thinking about Zowie, about how to make things up with her some times left William little time to think of how to improve things with Jared and Jewell, but what could he possibly do? He wanted his family back; if not the way it used to be, he at least wanted to have a resemble of normalcy in his relationship with his children, but Zowie denied him of that. She was punishing him, and God knew every blow affected William immensely. Yet, he had the feeling Zowie was hanging by a thread, that she was about to lose it, exploding in one way or another and that he could do nothing about it. Whatever happened to Zowie it would be his fault, and his fault alone, and he would surely live to regret it.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43.**

 

_“Wrapped up emotionally_

_Attracted so physically_

_Acting so recklessly_

_I need you so desperately”_

**_Martina McBride – I Love You_ **

 

"I know I wasn't in my best behaviour... or state the other night, but just for the record... I'm not doing this naked."

The young man stared back at her with a knowing smile that made Zowie's every instinct stir to life, and when he rested his weight on the table behind him, she couldn't stop the recriminations that ran rampant in her mind. His unfaltering grin, by the way, didn't make things any easier.

How on Earth had Zowie ended up in that situation? Memories became foggy after one point, but she still tried to go through them, hoping to detect a hint of... well, something, anything that might help her if things turned out for the worst.

~*~

_Running away from home was becoming a habit for Zowie, one she found herself indulging in far too often. But then again, what other salvation did she have? Nothing seemed to change, not for the better, anyway, and her patience for all that was running dangerously thin. Why stay at home and be harassed when she could be anywhere else having a good time?_

_There was a problem that night, however, and that was that Orlando and Elijah, her usual partners in crime, were out of town. With a deadline looming on the horizon only a month away, Peter was pushing his cast and crew as far as they could go and while Zowie wasn't very pleased with the arrangement, she could do little else but sulk and wish things were different. Then, as if that wasn't enough, William was on location with them, ruining Zowie's plans of spending the weekend with her friends. Coming between her and Orlando wasn't a good idea, Zowie mused. It did nothing on William's behalf, and it's not like she needed any more reasons to despise her dad as it was._

_In the end, and as much as she hated it, Zowie was on her own and with not much else to do but to go out. Ever since she had screamed on Noemie's face that she was sick and tired of her trying to force her into seeing William, Zowie had made a point of avoiding spending lengthy periods of time at home. While she did travel a lot, though, there were times when Zowie had no chance to scurry away like that and no other option but to stay put, and it was then that she locked herself up in her room. It worked fine most of the time and with the headphones on her ears turned to the highest volume she could stand, Zowie not only silenced her mum's pleads, she even managed to deafen herself to the most dangerous voices of all: the ones that spoke from inside her._

_Because as made up as Zowie's mind could be, thoughts of what ifs still bothered her and blocking them wasn't always easy. It never was, in fact, and that was why the extra help was always welcome. Doing drugs at home was too risky for Zowie's liking, but she had crossed that barrier too the same day she had argued with Noemie over her constant prodding. And while a perverse side of Zowie had enjoyed the experience immensely and begged for a repeat performance, another one still begged her not to surrender to it._

_Out of options and feeling trapped, Zowie hit her favourite club where she met some casual acquaintances made during her latest incursions on Wellington's night scene. Alone as she was, Zowie joined them, if only to do with them what had brought them all together in the first place. That was the only reason why they knew each other, after all, the same reason why they all depended, some more than others, on Tony._

_Had Zowie been thinking straight she would have noticed how easily -and willingly, even-, she had fallen into the trap she had once promised herself would never visit. But she couldn't. It didn't matter what she saw, nothing could make her reconsider her choices, and not even the sight of a girl that couldn't be much older than herself paying Tony for her night's fix with sex had done the trick._

_Zowie was by no means a prude, but she was still young, younger than she would ever admit, and while her nights out and her past adventures had certainly opened her eyes to a different side of life she had known nothing about, some things... well, some things still shocked her, and someone having sex with Tony to get some pills in return was definitely one of them._

_Erasing that image from her mind wasn't easy, but just like Zowie had discovered long ago, the pills were true to Tony's promise: there was nothing they couldn't make disappear. Soon she was having the time of her life, dancing the night away and feeling better than ever before now that her mind was free of those dark clouds that constantly tormented her._

_She didn't remember who introduced them, but at some point or another during the night, Zowie found herself dancing with a tall and rather cute guy called Simon. They surely spent some time together, for when Simon left with a pleased expression on his face, Zowie had made a show of slipping the number he had just given her in the back pocket of her denim miniskirt, a flirty look on her face._

_Nonetheless, getting his number vanished from Zowie's mind altogether after that night, and hadn't she checked the skirt's pockets before tossing it into the washing machine, she would have probably never remembered meeting Simon in the first place. Yet, as she tried to decipher the numbers he had scribbled down on that piece of paper, memories slowly began to trickle back._

_There was no way Zowie could possibly make a precise, word-by-word recount of their conversation, not with the way her perception had been altered by the drugs, but loose fragments here and there were still clear in her mind, only awaiting for her to acknowledge them._

_"You're very beautiful, Zowie. Ever thought of modelling?"_

_Zowie didn't remember laughing, but she had the distinctive feeling that had been her answer to Simon's words. But even if she had, he had persevered, nonetheless. The exact words still escaped her, but the general tone of their conversation did come back. Simon was a photographer, probably not much older than herself and quite attractive, and the fact that he was interested in her had obviously stroked Zowie's ego in a way she didn't realise she needed until he finally made his offer._

_"I would love it if you posed for me."_

_Any other moment of her life, Zowie would have smiled and politely declined, walking away as soon as she had the chance. But that day was different, and lost and confused as she was, she had finally made the call. If Simon thought her pretty enough to photograph her, why couldn't Orlando drop his pretence of friendship, then? It still tore at Zowie's heart that the one man she loved so much rejected her so adamantly. Why not take that chance, then? Why not use the reassurance of an attractive guy like Simon telling her she was still worthy of attention? Saying yes had never been so easy._

~*~

And yet, as much sense as her idea had made some days ago, Zowie still couldn't stop staring at Simon's grinning face.

For a second, she wondered whether she had any self-preservation instinct left in her. If she did, then why had she willingly got herself into a studio that, while looking very serious and professional in a very artsy, sort of bohemian way with bare brick walls and white linens hanging here and there, could still prove to be nothing short of a mouse trap? It didn't matter that with his sandy blond hair and blue eyes Simon looked anything but dangerous, she still couldn't repress the urge of evaluating him in search of any threats. It was too late for Zowie to regret what she had done while under the influence of drugs, but what was her excuse now that her system was free of everything except for caffeine?

"I'm being perfectly honest here," Simon said, straightening up. The uneasiness in Zowie hadn't gone missing to him and when he approached her, he did it holding his palms up in a reassuring gesture. "Look, there are no tricks here. I mean you no harm. All I need is to take a few good photographs for my portfolio and you are perfect for this shoot I have in mind. I know you don't feel very comfortable with the idea right now but if you tell me your conditions, I'm sure we can work something out.”

Zowie narrowed her eyes. Simon did look honest, she gave him that much, but that didn't mean she would give in right away.

"No naked pictures," she insisted. Repeating herself wasn't nice, but making sure he understood her rules was far more important.

Nodding, Simon slipped his hands in his jeans' pockets.

"No naked pictures, got it. This is a college portfolio, anyway, no need to worry about that. The last thing I need is my professor dying of a stroke when he sees the pictures." He joked. Then, fixing his blue eyes on hers, Simon added. "I did have something more... sensual in mind. No frontal nudity, though." He rushed to add when Zowie's eyes grew stern. "I have a few sketches here, some ideas I got after meeting you the other night. Want to see them?"

Wariness battled curiosity, and while a voice inside Zowie begged her to run away, her picked interest would have none of that. The first small, tentative step forward was soon followed by a second and a third, and not long after that, she was going through Simon's sketches as he explained the specifics of that what he had in mind. The first thing Zowie noticed was that he hadn't lied: no full frontal nudity was involved, and she allowed herself a sigh of relief. Simon had been true about other thing too, nonetheless, and that was that the pictures required showing more skin than Zowie had ever showed in a photograph before.

"Is that... it?"

Her voice sounded tremulous and more than a little insecure as her finger hovered over two particular drawings: one depicting a woman in nothing but her jeans, and a second one where nothing but panties and long hair concealed the model's body.

When Simon nodded, a wave of conflictive emotions overwhelmed Zowie. What was she doing? How could something like that _not_ turn out for the worst? Yet, the knot of dread that had twisted inside her soon gave way to an unravelling tingle of excitement. What would Orlando say when he saw those pictures? They would surely make it impossible for him to keep on denying the fact that she was a woman, and one that he was attracted to at that.

That thought was enough to make Zowie's mind up, and like many other times before, she made sure to push her worries to the darkest corner of her mind. Pleasantly surprised by her change of heart, Simon handed Zowie a small bag containing some basic make up items. There was a light blush on his face when he did, and Zowie imagined it had something to do with a young man having any sort of make up around. His sister had bought those for him, Simon rushed to add, and Zowie's lips curled in a smile.

He didn't elaborate on such matters, however, when he offered Zowie a small, sealed package containing what surely was the underwear she had seen in the sketches. Black panties, she noticed with a tingle of uneasiness playing in her stomach. Her blush suddenly matched Simon's crimson one, and hoping to avoid them both any further embarrassment, she nodded curtly and headed to the bathroom.

She wouldn't think about it more than necessary, Zowie ordered herself. It was a win-win situation for those involved: she was helping Simon complete his portfolio, and he was helping her with the man she loved. That was it, and Zowie would focus solely on that. With that thought in mind, she worked on her make up, keeping it light and simple as per Simon's request. There was a little hesitation before stripping naked, but Zowie managed to overcome that by conjuring an image of Orlando in her mind as she quickly put on the panties Simon had given her, followed by her jeans. She wasn't supposed to wear anything on top, so she covered herself with the robe she found hanging conveniently from a hook at her right.

Taking a deep breath, Zowie looked at her reflection, smiling reassuringly at herself. Boy, she had come a long way! But wasn't that what growing up was all about, after all? Experiencing different things, doing all those things she had never imagined doing before... posing for Simon was one of them. Zowie wanted to feel pretty, attractive, sexy even, and God knew she needed that reassurance after all that had happened. If it helped Orlando understand how he felt for her, then how bad could it be?

Yet, if she wanted any of that to happen, Zowie needed to leave the bathroom first. If she didn't, there would be no pictures, no portfolio and, above all, no Orlando going down on his knees promising undying love to her. Taking a deep breath, Zowie opened the door, deafening herself to whatever recriminations lingered in her mind as anticipation and excitement grew inside her. Yes, that would be good, Zowie smiled. She would make sure of that.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44.**

“Is this really happening?”

With a puzzled expression on his face, Elijah turned in Zowie's direction.

“What exactly?”

“This.” Zowie answered, her voice a mix of disbelief and longing. “I can't believe you're actually leaving.”

Elijah grinned, but the gesture didn't quite reach his blue eyes as waves of mixed feelings tumbled inside him. Sixteen months ago, the idea of moving halfway around the world on his own had been both exhilarating and intimidating; yet, as time passed by, Elijah had grown to love the place, its people, and the friends he had made there. Now, a year and a half later, he realised he would miss New Zealand more than he could have possibly imagined.

Sliding an arm around Zowie's shoulders, he pulled her close as they both slumped down on their chairs. Christmas was only a few days away and Wellington's airport was busier than ever, but the moment Zowie rested her head on his shoulder, the scene before them held no interest to Elijah any more.

How was Zowie taking all that? It wasn't just him leaving – everyone was. The other Hobbits, Viggo, Orlando, they had either already left or were about to. They were heading home for good, leaving not only the magic Peter had created behind, but also Zowie. If the idea of leaving New Zealand was hard for Elijah, how bad it could be for Zowie, then?

“This sucks.”

Well, there was an answer if he had ever needed one, he mused. Sketching a small smile, Elijah pulled Zowie closer.

“I know. It does.”

“Then stay.” Zowie said with a hopeful hint in her voice as she glanced up at him. “I have a spare bed in my room, I'm sure I can keep you. Besides, my mum won't mind, she totally adores you.”

Her choice of words made Elijah roll his eyes.

“Just for the record, Zowie, you _can't_ keep me. I'm not a dog.”

She shook her head, not one bit affected by Elijah's fake annoyance.

“That's too bad. It would surely make keeping you here a lot easier.”

Knowing he was wanted stroked Elijah's ego immensely, and the wide grin that spread his lips was proof of that. Then, putting on a serious face, he added. “Sure. You'd just have to fight Mrs. Wood for ownership though, and I have to tell you, my mom does _not_ give up easily.”

“Damn.”

Even though Zowie promptly looked away, the pleased grin on Elijah's face didn't go missing to her. Slipping into a companionable, comfortable silence with him was easy, but even as she enjoyed the moment, Zowie couldn't help but think that they wouldn't do that anymore. It was the last time, she realised with a hint of desperation inside her. That afternoon at the airport would be the very last time she and Elijah got to share that kind of company that didn't require words to fill the silence. In fact, Zowie realised with dread pooling in her stomach that it might as well be the last time they got to share anything at all.

It was happening so fast... so fast! All that people she had grown to know and love were rushing to leave the country and with every person that left, Zowie felt a new wound tearing at her heart. She had known it would happen all along, but what difference did it make? It still didn't stop the finality of everyone leaving her side for good.

Zowie could deal with most of the people leaving; she would miss them, that was for sure, but Elijah... Elijah was different. They had gone through so much together and he had been such an invaluable support for her, that she couldn't imagine what she would do when he boarded that plane and a whole ocean separated them. Besides, Elijah leaving meant Orlando would do the same and that was something Zowie had yet to accept. She doubted she ever would, but until the moment Orlando set foot on the plane that would take him back to England, Zowie would still have hopes of changing the inevitable.

“Will you be alright, Zowie?”

There was confusion written all over Zowie's features when she looked up at Elijah, a feeling that clung to her until the urgency in his friend's words finally hit her. Their eyes met, and Zowie could read in them the doubts, the fear that had led him to ask such question.

Could she answer in a truthful way, though? It only took Zowie a second to get her answer. She couldn't, not now, not ever. She had purposefully refused to consider what would be of her life when everyone left, when she had no other choice but to go back to a life surrounded of things and people she despised, but there was no way Zowie was dropping all that on Elijah's lap. She knew her friend meant well, but she didn't want Lij to leave New Zealand with that image in mind. He was authentically concerned, and she wasn't as imprudent to ruin those last moments together.

“Honestly, Lij? I won't. At least, not right away.” Zowie said, being as truthful as she could without turning morose. “But it's not like I have a choice in the matter, do I?”

Elijah sketched a tiny smile, but there was no relief inside him. He knew what he was leaving behind, like he knew very well the feeling of impotence at abandoning his friend when she needed him the most. It didn't matter how much Zowie tried to hide it or pretend she didn't care, Elijah could still see the truth. She had never got over the fact that William had lied to them, and things weren't likely to improve any time soon.

Elijah took a deep breath. He knew there was a big chance he would regret saying the words he was about to pronounce, but he couldn't leave the country without at least trying.

“It's been a rough couple of months, Zowie, and now everything will change and-”

Zowie was quick to cut him off mid sentence.

“Yes, everything's changing, I know, but you shouldn't worry about that. I'll be fine. I know what I'm doing.”

Zowie hadn't meant to sound half as harsh as she had, but she hadn't been able to keep the edge off her voice at the implications in Elijah's words. _Rough couple of months_. Right. He had no idea how bad they had actually been.

Elijah sighed. Why on Earth did Zowie have to be so damn stubborn? It was obvious she loved William to death and it was obvious that there was only one person getting hurt in all that process: her. Not that she could see that, of course. Thing was, Elijah mused, Zowie _didn't_ want to see it. Focused as she was on making her dad's life a living hell, she surely paid no attention to the harm she was inflicting upon herself.

But there was more. Zowie was hiding something, something he had only got hints of but that had filled him with suspicions every single time. He didn't want to go away thinking he was leaving such a big mess behind, but what else could he do? He had a life, a family, a career back in America, and he hadn't been kidding when saying his mother was more than capable of dragging him back if he stayed in New Zealand any longer. Yet, walking away fearing Zowie might be toying with things she couldn't quite control filled him with dread. Elijah had long since ruled out his thoughts as simple paranoia. He might not have plenty of proofs, but those he had seemed enough.

Could Zowie really be doing drugs? She was smart and had surely been educated on how wrong toying with substances could be. Nonetheless, the signs were there. Those nights when she had gone from depressed to euphoric, from having shadows surrounding her to being a star burst of seemingly endless energy… how could he deny that? There were other signs too, like subtle changes in her personality and her attitude that everyone else blamed on her parents' divorce, but that Elijah saw through. He didn't want to believe it, though, and a part of Elijah still refused to accept the fact that Zowie could be doing anything to intentionally hurt herself.

Looking at her, Elijah finally spoke.

“You know you can count on me, right? I won't be ten minutes away from you anymore, but there's always the phone, emails... even instant messaging.”

“I get it, Lij. Really, I do.” Zowie smiled despite the anger that had begun to brew inside her at Elijah's implications.

How could she ever be mad at him? Elijah was the one person she could trust in and she couldn't blame him for being concerned. Even if he had made one last try to have her reconsidering the decisions she had made long ago, Zowie knew he was one of the very few people who understood exactly where she stood, and realisation dawned on her.

She would miss Elijah's support greatly, that was for sure, but his sole presence... Zowie would miss that even more. She would miss his humour, his wit, even his bad mood in those insanely early mornings they had shared in the past, and the thought of not having that anymore made Zowie wonder how she would go on. Emotion suddenly overwhelmed her and, catching Elijah by surprise, she threw her arms around him.

“I'm going to miss you so much, Lij... so much!”

The hint of tears in Zowie's voice caused a similar reaction in Elijah and returning her hug with just the same intensity, he held her in his arms for a long time, none of them speaking as Elijah's mind whirled. He should have said something. He should have talked to William and Noemie even if Zowie got mad at him. But he hadn't, and it was much too late now. All that was left for him to do was pray for him to be wrong, for all his suspicions to be misguided, and for Zowie not to be in nearly as much danger as he feared.

“I'll always be there for you, Zowie,” Elijah insisted as he inched her apart, his eyes searching in hers with a breathtaking intensity. “You only have to let me know you need me, and I'll be there. Even if I'm halfway around the world, I'm still a good listener.” With his eyes piercing hers, Elijah added. “Anything, Zowie. You can tell me anything, you know that?”

There was something in his urgency, something that made Zowie's heart twist. He knew. Elijah knew. How, she didn't know, but it was plain that he was trying to get a message across, and that was simple: he knew what she was up to. Elijah was perfectly aware of her habits, and was giving her the chance to explain herself, to open up and ask for help, but Zowie couldn't do it. Even if she tried, her lips simply wouldn't part, just like they refused to pronounce the words that would seal her fate.

If only Elijah knew how much she appreciated his help! Zowie's eyes shone with gratitude when their gazes locked, even if she couldn't say the words out loud. How could she explain that she knew exactly what she was doing? That she knew when to stop and that it was only a matter of time until that happened?

“Oh, Lij...” Hiding her face in his neck, she pulled him close, if only briefly this time. Then, once again looking up at him, she added. “I know. And I will, you can be sure of that.”

Unsure, Elijah insisted.

“Will you? You know I'm not just saying this just for the sake of it, don't you?”

Zowie sketched a tiny, shaky smile, even if it demanded every bit of energy she possessed to do so.

“I know, Lij. I know.”

How to go on from there? What could Zowie say after a moment like the one they had just shared, a moment when no words had been spoken, but when silence had said it all? A thought crossed her mind as she considered her next actions. Whatever she did, one thing was for sure: Zowie couldn't give Elijah the chance to ask any more questions. An idea formed in her mind, and although she wondered whether or not it would work out, she hoped it would keep her friend distracted long enough to keep the worst of his questioning at bay.

“Before we end up crying like a bunch of idiots,” she said, her tone light as her heart hammered against her ribs, “I have something for you.”

When Elijah's blue eyes lit up with interest, Zowie could have patted her own back. It might not last forever, but the longer his attention was elsewhere, the longer his questions would take to come back. Encouraged, Zowie produced a medium sized package from her bag, handing it to Elijah with a smile that, much to her surprise, held authentic mirth and anticipation.

“For me?” The utter surprise in Lij's face made her smile widen. Rolling her eyes at what she deemed an unnecessary question, Zowie deposited the package on his lap.

“Come on, open it! I didn't wreck my brain finding the perfect present just to miss your reaction!”

The look in Elijah's expressive blue eyes made Zowie laugh. There was curiosity in them, as well as amusement and even the tiniest hint of apprehension, as if unsure Zowie wouldn't play a prank on him. Yet, the play of emotions on his face as he tore the gift paper open was a spectacle Zowie admired greedily. Surprise, recognition, joy and even longing coloured his features, and no matter how many times Elijah told her he would miss her, it was in that instant that she finally understood the truth in his words.

“Oh, Zowie...”

Elijah shook his head, a wistful smile on his lips. Boy, he would miss all of that so much! His hands tightened around the lustrous black frame as he studied the two pictures Zowie had placed there. They made a study in contrast but in some way, they also managed to encompass, in only two images, everything that they had shared during their sixteen months together.

The first picture showed them during the summer, standing in the golden sand of Lyall Bay with surfboards under their arms. Of course Zowie in a hot pink bikini made quite an attractive sight, but he forced himself to look past that.

He couldn't remember when the picture had been taken, but Elijah did wonder how many tumbles the sea had given him that day. While they all had taken to surf quite quickly, not all of them had succeeded on learning at the same rate. Elijah was proud to admit that, while not a fast learner as Orlando and Dominic, he had certainly not been the slowest one. He just had taken a healthy length of time to learn the basics, that was all. Zowie wasn't that much more of a surfer either, but Elijah was sure she would have most likely drowned than to admit she couldn't do it. The picture had obviously been taken on one of the many days spent at the perfect surfing spot Jared had told them about, and regardless of the specifics, the joy on their faces was authentic. Even the reddish sunburnt on his skin made sense to Elijah.

The moment he set eyes on the second picture, however, all longing was erased from Elijah's face, swiftly replaced by true amusement. Arching an eyebrow, he turned to Zowie.

“Wait... are you sure this picture should be here? I thought this was top secret stuff. Classified stuff.”

“Maybe.” Zowie admitted before giving him a blinding smile. “But it was just too good to ignore it!”

Grinning, Elijah's gaze returned to the picture, his smile widening at the sight there. Him and Zowie stood amidst the bright green of a forest in the middle of summer, their eyes sparkling with amusement and mischief as they laughed unabashedly. None of that would be that unusual, however, hadn't Elijah been in his full Frodo Baggins costume, and hadn't Zowie worn the bulky and rough Uruk-hai costume. A giggle escaped his lips at the thought. She and Brooke had been so excited about elegant costumes that the look on their faces when finding out none of that would be happening still lingered in his mind. Zowie hadn't been pleased, of course, but once the shock had died down, she had actually enjoyed the experience. The picture, the smiles on their faces, even the way the Uruk-hai's head balanced under Zowie's arm spoke volumes of how much of a good time they had had.

Elijah just had never expected Zowie would ever let anyone see those pictures, though.

“I'm touched, Zowie... I really am.” He said, his voice solemn as his eyes shone with mischief. “That me of all people should have evidence of how you look at your worst – ouch!”

The punch Zowie landed on his arm silenced Elijah, but could have never made his amusement disappear.

“Just for your information, I've had worst moments. Luckily for me, there's never been any cameras around.” She said petulantly before giving him a grin. “That's why the other picture is there for, anyway. To balance things out. Besides, it's not like I can be awesome every single day of my life, right? And no, neither can you,” Zowie rushed to add, reading Elijah's intentions in his eyes.

“Thanks, Zow.” Elijah said, his eyes going back to the pictures with a smile that had, once again, hints of longing and melancholy. “This will go straight to my bedside table. I swear.”

“Umm... I'm not sure I want to be in a nineteen year old's bedside table. Can't say I'd like all the weird things I'd see there. I mean, too many hormones for my liking.”

The look Elijah shot in her direction made Zowie grin from ear to ear. Revenge, sweet revenge, she mused. Then, reaching inside her bag once again, she handed Elijah an envelope, this time her eyes stripped from all teasing gleams.

“For me?” The puzzled look in Elijah's eyes told Zowie he wasn't expecting anything else.

Nodding, she let him take the envelope from her hand, an nondescript emotion coiling up inside her as she finally realised what was about to happen. Elijah was leaving. Everyone was, and she would be left alone. Tears prickled at her eyes and Zowie blinked them away, not wanting to bawl like a kid in front of her friend. She kept her eyes low, though, and didn't look up during the entire time it took Elijah to open the envelope and read the letter inside. She had poured her heart in it, and she didn't have the courage to even glance at Elijah as he read it, afraid to find any sort of disgust in his face. What if he thought it was too mushy, too soft, with way too many feelings for him to endure? He was a guy. A sweet, caring one, but a guy nonetheless, and men didn't deal well with that kind of thing.

Yet, the arms that suddenly surrounded her erased all her questions, and Zowie could do little else but cling to her friend as  tears now rolled freely down her cheeks.

Glad she had written that message for him, Zowie hugged Elijah tightly. She had poured her heart and soul in her letter, being as open and honest as she could be without actually baring her darkest secret. It felt terrible to hide such things from him, but Zowie knew that burdening him with all that was even worse. She had made a point, however, to let Elijah know how truly grateful she was for everything that he had done for her. She thanked him for his support about Orlando, for his understanding regarding William and, above all, Zowie told Elijah exactly how much she loved him, and how she would never be able to pay him back for everything that he had done. Zowie didn't want to think she was losing Elijah, but she had to be honest with herself. Once he was in America, how long it would take until he forgot all about her?

“I will never forget you, Zowie,” Elijah said suddenly, almost as if he had been reading her mind.

Zowie didn't know how long it took for Elijah's plane to be announced, but she did know that they spent the entire time in each other's arms, neither saying a word, but neither needing to. And when the time finally came to say goodbye, nothing in the world could have stopped Zowie's tears, not even the fervent promises Elijah made as he held her.

“I will always be there, Zowie. I promise. Anything you need, whenever you need to... you know where to find me, okay?” Staring at her, his eyes took on a darker shade. “You can tell me everything, you know that? Anything. I _will_ be there for you, no matter what. I-”

His voice caught, and Zowie's arms tightened around him, her heart twisting as she told herself that moment would never come. She wanted their friendship to be normal, for them to be equals, and not for her to be the one constantly hanging on to him for whatever reason! Still, Zowie nodded, and although she tried to speak, no words came out. Hiding her face in Elijah's chest, she only managed to murmur, “I'll miss you much!”

There was no more time, and when Elijah said his final goodbye, a stream of tears stained Zowie's face, her heart aching inside her. His friend had left. The one person she had been able to trust almost everything, was gone. She was on the verge of being left completely, utterly alone, and the thought terrified Zowie as sobs tore at her body. Who would be there for her now? Who would be there when, the following day, Orlando left New Zealand for good? Not even the thought of Brooke coming to spend the summer in Wellington cheered her up. A look around the airport sent a heavy weight on her heart. She couldn't imagine her standing in that same spot, saying goodbye to Orlando the following morning. She couldn’t and she wouldn't, not until she had no other choice. Not if she didn't want to lose it completely.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45.**

 

The day had come. The day Zowie had dreaded ever since one cold August afternoon long ago had dictated her life would never be the same again, was finally there.

The day Orlando left New Zealand. For good.

Zowie had spent so long trying to convince herself such moment would never come to happen, that seeing her worst fears become a reality was unbearable for her. In that moment, she regretted not having done so many things, not sharing with Orlando those secrets her heart knew he was worth of. Now it was much too late for any of that. Now he was leaving, and Zowie's life seemed on the brink of ending.

What would happen now? What would be of her with Orlando gone? Zowie had shared every possible minute with him in the past weeks, not wanting to be separated any longer than necessary. Leaving his side, even if only to make some sort of appearance at her house to keep her mother happy, seemed like the worst torture possible for Zowie. Why would she want to leave Orlando's side when she knew every second she spent away was a second that would never come back? Knowing their time was running out, realising it irrevocably slipped between her fingers, made Zowie feel like her own life was quickly sliding away.

Suddenly, all that had affected her until that moment seemed to take a turn for the worst. It became unbearable. What little strength she had once had to confront what troubled her had vanished, disappearing for good the moment she had stopped by Orlando's house to find him packing up. It had been such a shock, that Zowie hadn't been able to make the necessary connections. Stupidly, she had asked him whether he was going away with the Hobbits like many other times before, only to have Orlando giving her a confused look followed by an amused smile.

"Well, away as in England, yes. I'm leaving, remember? In just a couple of days."

Saying a bucket of ice cold water had been dropped on her couldn't have never described what Zowie had felt that day. The world suddenly stopped moving, and the finality in Orlando's words had frozen her heart and soul.

He was leaving. He was going back to England and, unlike his trip there for Christmas, Orlando wouldn't be back in two weeks. He was leaving, and that time, it was for good.

It had taken every ounce of willpower for Zowie to hold herself up and together that afternoon, and while it made her proud that Orlando hadn't noticed her shock or the panic quickly rising inside her, it had also torn her heart to pieces. All that time they had spent together, Zowie had diligently ignored the fact that, one day, Orlando would leave. That Orlando, the man she loved, the only one who cared for her, the one she had given her heart, soul and body to, would eventually return to his normal life on the other side of the world, while as for her... what would happen to her? What did Zowie have left of the life she had once known?

The answer was just as final as Orlando's departure: nothing. There was nothing left of the secure, stable life Zowie had been so comfortable in not long ago. Her family had crumbled down to pieces, no matter how hard Noemie tried to hold it together, and even Zowie's own life was nothing like it used to. Once healthy and sporty, she was now prisoner to the one thing that offered some relief to the omnipresent pain in her heart. She had vowed herself to quit it, but all the grief that surrounded her only made her habit worse. And now, with Orlando's impending departure only minutes away, Zowie would have gladly fallen in the arms of her fake solace... but she couldn't. Not with Brooke sitting at the feet of her bed with a concerned expression on her face.

"Talk to me, Zowie," she begged, dragging her back to reality. "You're not _fine_ , so stop pretending."

Zowie sighed. She didn't feel like answering Brooke's question, but the look on her face was impossible to ignore: her friend wasn't going to take a no for an answer. And regardless of how much Zowie would have liked to remain silent and just dwell on how miserable her life was, she still met her friend's eyes, her own blue gaze dark with grief.

"He's leaving, B. I can't be fine when I don't know for sure when I'll see him again... if I ever do."

Voicing her worst fears slashed Zowie's heart, opening new, fresh wounds that only added to her overall depression. She didn't want to talk about it but knowing Brooke, she would have none of it. Ever since arriving in Wellington the night before to spend the holiday season with her family, Brooke had wanted to catch up with her best friend. Problem was, she soon discovered that the usually bright and full of life Zowie she had once known was long gone, replaced by merely a shadow of who she used to be. Putting two and two together wasn't hard, surely, and since then, Brooke had refused to leave her side, as if fearing Zowie could do something stupid.

Brooke sighed and moved closer to Zowie, ever mindful of the large box wrapped in yellow gift paper that laid on the bed. Orlando's favourite colour, Zowie had said. That was his farewell present, a scrapbook much like the one Zowie had made for Brooke some time ago. She was intrigued by it, but didn't feel like upsetting her friend any more than she already was with nosy questions.

Taking Zowie's cold hands in hers, Brooke sat down next to her friend, her eyes pleading on hers.

"You knew this would happen, Zow. You knew Orlando would leave at one point or another."

Angry, Zowie's eyes blazed in Brooke's direction.

"Is that supposed to make me feel any better? Because, honestly, it doesn't. It's not helping at all."

Closing her eyes, Brooke bit back the remark that struggled to leave her lips. She had imagined Zowie would be sad, upset, or even edgy, but that... aggressiveness, Brooke hadn't been ready for that. It was obvious that many things had happened while she was away, things she probably knew nothing of. For one, Brooke could understand how her parents' divorce could drive Zowie even closer to Orlando; it was only natural that, spending as much time together as Brooke knew they did, Zowie would turn to him when she needed someone, especially considering her own best friend was away.

Yet, there was something else in her actions, something entirely different than Zowie's obvious and everlasting adoration for Orlando. Something else had happened while she was away, and while Brooke would have loved to know exactly what that was, she had the feeling she wouldn't get any information right now, not while Zowie tried to unleash her frustration on whoever happened to be near her.

Brooke would stay, nonetheless. It was obvious Zowie needed her more than she let her know, and nothing would drive her away. She still hoped that, with time, when Zowie finally grew accustomed to the idea of Orlando leaving, when his parting became a distant memory and her life returned to normal, she would be able to look at the whole situation with, at least, a smile on her face. Not that Brooke couldn see it happening any time soon, though.

Zowie was so focused on her grief, that she failed to notice the venom in her words. She was scared, terrified of what was about to happen and with such thoughts in mind, how could she even pay any attention to the way she dealt with Brooke? Honestly, all Zowie wanted from her friend was a companionable silence, maybe words that let her know that what she felt wasn't entirely wrong, but not rational statements she despised.

While Orlando leaving had been an undeniable fact that had loomed over her head probably since the very moment they had met, that didn't make that moment any more bearable. All that time Zowie had known that there was an expiration date, a deadline for Orlando's time in New Zealand, but she had chosen to either ignore it, or push it to the darkest corners of her mind as she tried to make the most out of their time together. Couldn't Brooke see that what Zowie needed were words such as _'this won't be the last time you'll see him'_ , even when her heart feared the opposite? Zowie didn't want to be reasonable, neither did she want anyone else doing it for her. She needed to be reassured, but she wasn't getting any of it.

"Maybe we should get going," she murmured. "I don't want to be late."

Brooke nodded. They had more than enough time to drive to the airport and even wait there until Orlando arrived, but she decided to keep that to herself. Standing up instead, she went to Zowie's desk, picking the keys to her mum's car, which she had borrowed for the day. Then, staring at Zowie as she lovingly picked the package from her bed, Brooke's heart twisted at the sight her friend made.

It was heartbreaking. Zowie was taking that the worst possible way, and Orlando leaving was obviously the cherry on top of many other things that had happened to her that year. Guilt rose inside Brooke at the sight. She should have been there for Zowie when she had needed her the most, but what could she do? She couldn't drop out University, no matter how much she loved her friend! She was there now, though, and Brooke planned to devote that entire summer to spending time with Zowie. Perhaps, once they settled into some sort of routine, one that reminded them of the old days, Zowie would open up and tell her all those things Brooke didn't know about.

When Zowie looked up at her, Brooke could barely repress a shiver. Her friend's eyes held no life spark whatsoever and the sight was so terrifying, that Brooke closed the distance between them with alarmed eyes, taking Zowie in her arms for a tight, heartfelt hug.

"I'm here for you, you know that? We have all summer, and you know I'm a good listener."

Even in her anger and frustration, Brooke's words couldn't be ignored. Tears knotted Zowie's throat, but the long, open look they shared was enough. It wasn't easy for Zowie to think someone could understand what she was going through after dealing with her pain on her own for so long, but perhaps... perhaps Brooke could be the one she could trust in.

She knew it was a big change from her own behaviour from just minutes ago when all Zowie had wanted was for Brooke to disappear, but it was then that she realised how much she actually needed a friend, how much she needed someone to talk to. Perhaps Zowie would never be able to explain Brooke _all_ that had happened during her absence; after all, Zowie couldn't picture herself discussing some of her choices with anyone, not even Brooke. But some things, she could definitely share them with her. Wasn't that what her mum had wanted all along, after all? For her to share her load with someone? Orlando had helped and so had Elijah, but Brooke had been with her for years, and knew more about Zowie than anyone else. Maybe it was time for her to trust someone.

When Zowie nodded, Brooke smiled. Showing the keys dangling from her finger, a smile spread her lips.

"Still want to do this?"

"Hell, yes!" Zowie's emphatic answer made Brooke grin. As if she could ever convince her of staying!


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46.**

 

_“I think I've already lost you_

_I think you're already gone_

_I think I'm finally scared now”_

**_Matchbox 20 – If You're Gone_ **

 

The drive to the airport was a quiet one, but one Zowie felt comfortable in. It was the kind of companionable silence she had needed from Brooke, the one that had always existed between them and that made her feel like her friend could truly understand what she was going through. And that was fine with Zowie, since the tight control she had gained on her anxiety had lasted only for the shortest while, and the feeling kept battling to surge back to life. As the airport came to sight, Zowie clung to the tiny flicker of hope Brooke's words had given her, but she was helpless as bouts of darkness exploded all around her, threatening her the usual way.

With a shuddering breath, Zowie gripped the package on her hands tighter, hugging it to her chest as if the present she had prepared for Orlando could hold her together. She had poured her heart in that scrapbook, and now had the feeling Orlando was taking not just a present with him, but also her heart. Watching Orlando go was just unbearable.

He had been a part of Zowie's life for so long! They had spent almost every day together, and in the rare occasions when that didn't come to happen, she had felt something was missing inside her. With Orlando by her side the disaster Zowie's life had become had seemed almost bearable, but with him gone and with Christmas just around the corner, there had never been a time when Zowie had had any less wishes to celebrate anything. While the Harts had always been known for their great Christmas spirit, no tree nor fancy decoration could cheer Zowie up that year. To her, all those efforts were nothing but a terrible joke, a lie, a way of hiding the dirt under the rug so they could pretend nothing had happened.

As if they ever could! For one, what would Christmas dinner be like? Would it be just the four of them, sad faces all around as they inevitably thought of what once had been? Or would they join Gramma Yvonne and pretend nothing had happened? Zowie couldn't do that; she wasn't that good of an actress. Besides, when Orlando's leaving was added to the equation, Zowie would much rather spend the holiday season locked up in her room than face all the joy and well-wishing outside.

By the time Brooke pulled over at the airport's parking lot, Zowie felt like the darkest clouds had taken residence right above her, killing what little hope she had once felt. The darkness seemed to extend as far as she could see and it shadowed all aspects of her life, turning every outlook horribly pessimistic.

Reaching the international departures' area didn't take the girls long, and as they did, Zowie discovered that her heart was torn about what she would find there. If they arrived and Orlando still wasn't there, there was a big chance she would end up being robbed of their last minutes together. Yet, if he wasn't there yet, then Zowie could still nurture the hopeless dream of him never leaving, of him staying there for good. Orlando was the one who balanced all the negativity, all the darkness in her life; how was she supposed to go on without him? Even if Zowie was there to see him off, to say goodbye, a part of her still hoped Orlando would ditch the rest of his life and stay with her. A voice inside her warned her of how irrational she was being, but nothing made sense to her any more. Zowie needed Orlando to bring light to her life as much as she needed the pills to silence her troubled thoughts. If he wasn't there to bring that much coveted balance to her life, what would, then?

Those were the thoughts that coursed Zowie's mind when Orlando waved at them with a smile on his face, an image that almost reduced her to tears. He seemed so happy and so anxious to be at home with his loved ones that her heart broke with utter grief, and a question that had plagued her for months resurfaced at the sight. What had changed Orlando's mind so drastically? Zowie would never forget, for as long as she lived, the sparkle of interest in his eyes the day they had met. If only he hadn't hold himself back, she mused. So many things would have been different!

Orlando said something as he approached them, but Zowie never heard him. Handing Brooke the box the minute she noticed his open arms waited for her, Zowie threw herself in them, holding Orlando tight and wishing she never had to let go. If only she could follow him! Everything would be different then. Away from New Zealand, from prying eyes and overprotective fathers, Orlando would admit he loved her and Zowie would be able to tell him what she had kept a secret since that disastrous Saturday night, and he would make everything right... he would make everything perfect.

But Zowie couldn't leave. Instead, she clung to him for dear life, feeling the way his lips stretched on a smile against her cheek as she hid her face in his neck.

"You made it!" the happy, almost relieved tone of his voice brought tears to Zowie's eyes. "Not that I thought you wouldn't come, of course."

Even in her state, Zowie managed to give him a stern look. It was too brief, though, but she didn't want Orlando to notice the tears that brimmed her eyes or, God forbid, comment on them. If he did, she would break down in the blink of an eye. She knew tears would come sooner or later. She knew they would roll down her face and she wouldn't be able to stop them, but now, Zowie wished to remain in control for as long as she could. Which, she feared, wouldn't be long.

"I can't believe that I'm leaving," Orlando's voice showed every bit of the disbelief he felt. Zowie sniffed, knowing very well what the sole idea did to her. "I'll miss you so much, Zowie... so much!"

"Then don't leave," she stated matter-of-factly in his ear. A part of her hated how begging she had sounded, but what else could she do? Not much, to be honest. Her heart was doing the talking, having taken command of her a long time ago, and the reasonable part of her just refused to work or to be acknowledged like many other times before. "I don't want you to leave."

Orlando brushed her cheek with his lips making her heart flutter, and Zowie's mind rebelled against the fact that it might very well be the last time she felt his body against hers, or his lips touching her skin.

"I have to, Zowie. You know that."

Yes, she knew that very well, but that didn't mean she understood or that she had remotely got used to the idea. In fact, Zowie doubted she ever would, not even when she saw his plane taking off and carrying him away for... Zowie mentally shook her head. She didn't want to think it could be for good, so she banned that thought from her mind.

That time, Zowie ignored the tears brightening her eyes. She didn't care if Orlando thought her crazy, or if Brooke thought she had lost her mind. She _had_ to try, and do it while she still had a chance. Focusing her wide, pleading blue eyes on his, Zowie's voice shook with every word she whispered.

"What will happen to me when you're gone? I'll be all alone!"

When Orlando's eyes scanned her face, Zowie begged God for him to read in her eyes what she couldn't say out loud. Couldn't he see that she was on the verge of desperation? That reasonable side that she had always tried to silence told her to control herself, regain some composure and dignity while she still could so Orlando could leave New Zealand with a different image of her, and not one that made him think she was nothing but a clingy, immature little girl. But the other side, the one that needed support and love in a way she never admitted to anyone, would try anything to, somehow, keep him by her side.

When Orlando took her face between his hands and addressed to her like he would to a little kid fixed on having her ways, a chill ran down her spine.

"You won't be alone, Zow. How can you say that? You have Brooke, you have your family-"

"My family? Yeah, right."

Orlando felt her tensing against him, and after sharing a quick, worried glance with Brooke, his eyes once again met Zowie's with a determined glow.

"You've got to promise me something, Zowie. You have to promise me that you'll talk to your dad and make things up with him." Zowie had begun shaking her head long before Orlando was over and sensing where the argument was going, she tried to slip from his grip, but to no avail. Much to her surprise, Orlando dug his fingers in her arms with enough strength to keep her to her spot, and the determination in his voice stilled all her movements. "No, Zowie, you _will_ listen to me this time. You can't carry on like this. I know you're mad at him and believe me, I understand... I can see why you're doing it and I don't blame you, but this has to stop. He's your dad, he loves you! And I'm sure you love him, you're just doing this to punish him. Haven't you stopped to think what this will do to you if you carry on?"

Brooke could have whooped in joy at Orlando's words. Finally someone dared to talk some sense into Zowie! Yet, Brooke wasn't as innocent as to believe Zowie would automatically say yes to Orlando, but the fact that it was him who said those things was enough. As far as Zowie was concerned, the entire universe revolved around Orlando, and if there was anyone out there who could truly convince her of something, it was him.

Orlando, on the other hand, wasn't too sure what to think of Zowie's sudden stillness and silence, and knowing her as well as he did, he knew passiveness wasn't a word in Zowie's dictionary. With that in mind, he braced himself for the worst.

And Zowie didn't disappoint him.

"Is that all?"

Orlando blinked, taken by surprise.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because I'm not doing it." Zowie stated, her eyes cold and her voice stern as she added accusingly. "I thought you knew me better than that, Orlando."

"I'm not asking for something impossible."

Zowie snorted.

"Like hell you aren't!"

"Can't you see what this is doing to you, Zowie?” Orlando's patience was thinning. “It's destroying you! You need him. You want him by your side. Would it be so bad to try and listen to what William has to say?"

His words only caused Zowie to roll her eyes.

"I need you too and you're leaving. Does that make you any different from him?" Her words hit home and when Orlando didn't answer, Zowie took the next step. "Are you done, or should I leave now? Because, honestly, discussing my dad was the last thing on my mind when I came here."

Orlando was trapped. Zowie had skilfully turned the argument on her favour, and while a side of him pleaded him to go on, one quick look at her prevented him from doing so. Zowie was angry, yes, but she was also lost, confused, and God knew how many more feelings inhabited her that moment. Orlando had seen the tears in her eyes, the desperation in her face just minutes ago and instinctively knew that nothing good would happen if she stormed out of the airport in anger.

He should have put his foot down, though; should have done it a long time ago. Orlando should have sat Zowie down and got her talking, but he had never known how. Other than that afternoon when he and Elijah had found her cold and unresponsive at his door, Orlando had never heard Zowie saying a single word about her dad. Perhaps, had he been able to drag it out of her, things would have never come that point.

With a sigh, Orlando nodded at Zowie, trying to conceal the wave of defeat that washed over him, and as he led the girls to the sitting area, his eyes met Brooke's. He saw worry there, helplessness; emotions that surely glowed on his own eyes and that only increased when Zowie, in a surprising mood swing, looked up at him with a look that was half adoring and half tormented. A look that could have easily broken Orlando's heart.

"I have something for you." Zowie murmured as she slipped her hand in her pocket, posing something cool and metallic on Orlando's palm a second later. "I found this in my Nan's house, and I thought it would be a nice addition to all those charms and things you're wearing." She said, pointing at the many pendants that hung from a black cord around Orlando's neck. When her eyes fell on the paua shell that matched her bracelet's, her heart skipped a beat.

Curious, Orlando stared down at the coin on his palm before looking up at Zowie with a puzzled expression.

"If you flip it around, you'll see it's from 1977.” She explained. “I instantly thought of you when I saw it, and I wanted you to have it."

Orlando looked up at her, his heart wrenching at the sheer vulnerability in her face before his gaze shifted back to the small silver coin. His thumb slid across the engraved figures of a kiwi bird and fern leaves, a New Zealand's trademark, before discovering a small _20_ on the bottom. Then, nimbly flipping it around, he found the tell-tale _1977_ engraved on the front and, on top, a small hole that had been born into the coin for a purpose Orlando couldn't ignore.

Staring up at her with a small smile, he asked, "You sure your Nan won't mind?"

"Mind? I don't think she even knows this was lying around."

When Zowie shook her head and Orlando was somewhat relieved she wasn't going to get into any trouble because of him, he slipped the cord from around his neck and quickly, albeit laboriously, untied the knot that held it together. He then handed the coin back to Zowie, and the look he gave her was all she needed to understand. Biting her lip to keep the tears at bay, Zowie's fingers clumsily slid the cord through the tiny little hole she had had born into it, her heart bent on believing that that simple gesture sealed their fate together.

Moments later, Orlando had easily tied the cord back together and slipped it over his head, admiring the coin as it now took precedence over the many charms there. When he looked up at her with a true, honest smile, Zowie could have broken down into tears. God, she loved him so much! Just thinking of how her life would be without him got her heart shattering into a million little pieces and, without thinking, Zowie threw her arms around Orlando's neck, holding tightly on to him as a few tears escaped her eyes.

Yet, before she lost all control -and she knew for a fact that it would happen- Zowie wanted to make sure she gave him the other present, the one she had spent so long working on. Discreetly wiping the wet marks off her cheeks, Zowie then pulled away, giving Orlando a shaky smile before turning to Brooke. Her friend had remained silent all along, but the moment she turned to her, Zowie knew she had her support and for that, she was thankful. Had she had to go through that alone, she would have lost it a long time ago.

With a reassuring smile and no words, Brooke handed her the yellow box she had been patiently holding on her lap since they had found a sitting spot. Yet, the moment she felt its weight on her hands, Zowie's eyes blurred, if only for the briefest instant before she blinked the tears away.

"I made this for you. I..." A sob escaped her lips before she could stop it, her hands shaky as she handed Orlando his present. "I made this so you don't ever forget coming to New Zealand. So you don't forget me."

The trembling in her voice gave her feelings away, and Orlando's heart lurched in pain. How could Zowie think he could ever forget about her? She might be moody and yes, more than a bit spoiled, but she was, essentially, a lovely girl. It would have been so easy for Orlando to follow his first instincts, to let himself go and become more than friends with Zowie... it would have taken absolutely no effort from him. She was beautiful, fun to be with and smart, all of which ranked high in Orlando's books. Yet, as he now took in her red eyes, swollen with unshed tears, he realised that keeping his distances with her had been the right thing to do.

Zowie was in so much pain that Orlando had to admit Viggo's advise had been right. Had things gone any further, had he and Zowie got involved in any romantic way, her grief in that instant would have been a thousand times worst.

What could Orlando possibly promise her, had they been together? That he would come back? That wasn't under his control, not with a career like his. He didn't doubt Zowie would try to work something out; in fact, knowing her, she would must likely do something that would involve her moving across the world to be with him, something Orlando doubted her parents would agree to with pleasant smiles. Regardless of how big of a mess her family was at the moment, William and Noemie would never give in to such thing, and Orlando nodded inwardly. He had done the right thing. He loved Zowie, yes, but as a friend and nothing more.

"I could never forget you, Zowie. Ever."

He posed a hand on her cheek and Zowie leaned against it, hoping to absorb as much of him as she could. It felt so good to be that close to him, and the way he studied her attentively sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. Orlando seemed deep in thought, but when his eyes suddenly took on a mysterious glow, Zowie's heart skipped a beat before going wild as he leaned closer to her. Her breath caught in her throat. Countless scenarios played in her mind and Zowie clung to each and everyone of them, praying for her own happy ending that would put the most romantic movie to shame.

Nonetheless, the moment Orlando's lips brushed her cheek, Zowie had her first glimpse of how life without him would be like. Panic rose its ugly head and it took everything in her to keep it under control, to keep the familiar feeling of chocking from making itself noticeable. Her self control was quickly slipping away and looking for something to distract herself, Zowie focused on the look of wonder on Orlando's face as he opened the box and unveiled the scrapbook's first few pages. He looked like a little kid who had been handed a book full of secrets he couldn't wait to reveal, and that was precisely the reason why Zowie gently brought his actions to a halt, a smile on her face as she closed the scrapbook before he could go too far.

"Save the rest for the plane, okay?" Her smile never faltered and for that, Zowie was proud. She wasn't nearly as interested on Orlando having something to entertain himself in the long flight ahead, as she was on him accidentally revealing the most special part of her gift: the pictures Simon had taken of her. They had turned out much better than Zowie had expected, and while they had a sexy quality to them, it was an artistic kind of sexiness. Problem was, while Orlando was the reason why she had agreed on posing in the first place, Zowie wasn't interested on Brooke finding out what she had been up to while she wasn't around. Especially when that involved her posing in her underwear and not much more.

Orlando closed the book at last and Zowie allowed herself a tiny, imperceptible sigh of relief. A small battle had been won. The war, however, had been most likely lost before it even began.

The time until Orlando's flight was announced passed in a blur to Zowie, far more quickly than she would have liked. Although she tried to make the most out of it by sitting next to Orlando, holding his hand or resting her head on his shoulder as they talked, none of that seemed enough the moment he stood up and her hand slipped from his grip, leaving Zowie feeling cold and empty without his touch.

Suddenly, blood began to pump in her ears, following the crazy thumping of her heart. Frozen to her spot, Zowie could see out of the corner of her eye how Brooke stood up and shared some words and a quick hug with Orlando, but she would never know what had been said there. Deaf and blind to everything but the sheer pain tearing her heart apart, the world could have crumbled down around her and she would have never noticed.

The time had come.

Orlando was leaving for good.

Before she could stop them, round, fat tears overflowed her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and staining her top. She didn't try to stop them, though. What was the point, anyway? More soon followed and as sobs rocked her body, the reality around her began to make itself noticeable, bringing her even more pain.

People moved around them and the sounds of theirs steps resounded in her ears, making her head throb. And their voices... God, their voices! They surrounded Zowie, taking her down with them in a whirlwind of echo and pain that threatened to swallow her. Zowie wanted to give in to it; she wanted to let it grab a hold of her and carry her away to another reality where Orlando never had to leave, where her family was back to normal and where no pain was allowed. She so badly wanted to let go, but it was then that a voice reached her, and it was the one voice with enough power to tear through the whirl around her. His. Orlando's.

"Zowie? Zow, are you alright?"

The concern and urgency in Orlando's voice tore through the tangle of feeling and echo, but Zowie still refused to meet his eyes. She knew that looking into his deep brown eyes for the last time meant breaking down, and a part of her loathed the idea. Why couldn't she be stronger? Why couldn't she stand up and say goodbye like a normal person? The answer came to Zowie's mind straight away. Because it was Orlando who was leaving, and he was taking her heart with him.

True to her prophetic thoughts, nothing could have stopped the heart-wrenching sobs that tore her body the moment her gaze met Orlando's worried eyes. He didn't need to say anything; Zowie, responding to the grief she could read in his face, jumped to her feet and threw her arms around him in one last desperate attempt to keep him with her.

"Don't go." She begged. "Please, don't go!"

Orlando's heart broke at her words. He hated causing her that much pain, but Zowie had to understand. She knew that would happen. She had known all along that Orlando would eventually go back home. Yes, they were all leaving her behind, but Orlando knew that, in order for Zowie to grow up in deal with her problems, she would have to do it on her own, and she would never be able to do that while she could still hide behind everyone else.

"I have to, Zowie."

His whispered words and the touch of his hands on her back opened fresh wounds in her heart. How was she supposed to live without him? All Zowie had known had disappeared and the one thing, the one person she had considered safe and firm, was leaving her too. How could she not be upset?

"You can't! I have no one else... I... I need you!"

Orlando exhaled loudly, his own eyes beginning to burn with tears. He didn't want to leave her like that, didn't want to break her heart that way, but what else he could do?

"You won't be alone, Zowie. I promise. You have Brooke, you have your family... you're not alone."

Zowie shook her head, her face once again hidden in the crook of his shoulder. Then, taking a shuddering breath, she looked up at him, her tear-stricken face hitting Orlando with the full force of her pain.

"Promise me you won't forget about me." She pleaded. "Please promise me this isn't the last time I'll see you."

Orlando ran a shaky hand down her cheek, unsuccessfully trying to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop flowing. He would never forget her, no matter what but, could he truthfully answer to her other plea?

"I'll never forget you, I swear." He murmured. "And we'll see each other again, I'm sure about that."

Zowie knew him all too well by now to notice the uncertainty in his voice in his last statement. Yet, like many other times before when it came to him, she decided to cling to that illusion, to that tiny light of hope that told her they would meet again, and that things would much better then.

Zowie's eyes drank in Orlando's face, absorbing every feature and etching them in her memory. Her heart begged her to tell him what she felt, but something made her decide against it in the last possible second. Holding him closer to her body, her eyes locked with his when she spoke.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Orlando, and I'll miss you so much!"

Zowie couldn't say anything else. Clinging to Orlando instead, she fought him the second he began to pull away, but soon her arms sagged at her sides as all energy left her body. There was a tell-telling glow in Orlando's eyes as he kissed her cheek and gave her hand a soft squeeze, and heartbroken, Zowie could only stare as Orlando waved at them before disappearing from her sight for good.

Whatever pain Zowie had experienced until that day paled in comparison to the grief that pierced her heart in that instant. Overwhelming and overpowering, it robbed her of her ability to think and comprehend the world around her. A familiar voice spoke to her, begging her to look at its owner, but while Zowie heard the words, she couldn't make any sense out of them; not when her eyes remained fixed on that gate, hoping with all her heart that Orlando would rush out to take her in his arms like the hero in a romantic movie. Nonetheless, as seconds ticked by and the crowd around them thinned, Zowie realised how pointless it was to wait for a magical moment like that.

Orlando wouldn't come back. He wouldn't save her from the hell her life had become, and realisation bitterly severed the last thread that held her self-control together. Breaking down, sobs seized Zowie's body so intensely she could barely breathe.

Fixed to her spot, Brooke grew desperate. She tried to talk to Zowie, hug her, even shake her by the arms, but none of that worked, and just as she thought she might have to ask for help, Zowie finally met her eyes, the spark of life in them long gone.

"He... left... Orlando left..."

There was such an absolute lack of life in Zowie's eyes, that Brooke couldn't repress the shiver than ran down her spine. Never before had Brooke seen her friend like that, and while desperation had yet to leave her body, a rational voice spoke to her. Regardless of the specifics, Zowie had finally noticed her. She had talked to her and, more importantly, she was looking into Brooke's eyes in that very same instant. Brooke nodded inwardly. If she could turn that gesture in her favour, then she would have her friend out of the airport and back home in a matter of minutes.

She had to call her friend's name three times before she answered, though, but when she finally did, Brooke held her face in her hands so her gaze would fix on her and only her.

"This is it, Zowie. We're leaving. I'm taking you back home."

Zowie never answered, but Brooke didn't allow herself to be deterred by that. With equal parts of gentleness and determination in her actions, she led Zowie out of the airport and into the car, concern growing inside her.

Even though the drive to the Hart's home was short, Brooke sped a little, hoping God would spare her of her very first traffic ticket. She dreaded the idea of walking into that house to find Noemie standing on top of the stairs, her eyes not missing a single thing, but when she parked the car and noticed the house was empty, Brooke allowed herself a sigh of relief. Knowing that benefit might not last long, though, she wasted no time helping Zowie inside. Yet, once she laid limply on her bed and Brooke realised she was once again unresponsive to her calls, doubts plagued her. Should she call Noemie? Zowie's state definitely called for it, but her friend wouldn't appreciate that. It wasn't a secret that Noemie had never really liked Orlando and if she found out her daughter's state was owed to him, that feeling would only grow. Brooke closed her eyes with a sigh. If only she knew what to do next!

No response came magically in her aid, and as Zowie kept on crying, the intensity of her sobs never lessening, Brooke felt helpless and useless. Zowie had never been in a pain so great that a few supportive words couldn't make better, but the state she was in... Brooke had the feeling no word could ever be any effective.

Minutes ticked by and Brooke was seriously pondering the possibility of calling Noemie when Zowie suddenly sat up straight. Leaving the bed under Brooke's shocked scrutiny, Zowie walked to her closet, dug there for some time and then left the room, never giving a look back.

"Zowie?" Brooke's call had no response, but she still followed Zowie into the bathroom, not quite understanding what was going on when her friend jerked the faucet open with more strength than necessary. A feeling of dread overpowered everything else, and the minute Brooke noticed that her friend's fisted hand headed to her mouth, she knew it was time to act. Snapping out of her daze, Brooke quickly reached for Zowie's wrist. “What on earth are you doing? What is this, Zowie?”

Prying Zowie's hand open wasn't hard, and when Brooke finally noticed what it was that she held in her palm, dread once again pooled in her stomach. Pale-faced and wide-eyed, her attention alternated between the pink pill and Zowie's expressionless face.

"Give me that."

While the numbness in Zowie's voice scared her to death, the spark of determination that suddenly lit up her friend's lifeless eyes warned Brooke against her. She knew Zowie would try to recover the pill, and closing her hand around it, Brooke readied herself to flush it down the toilet.

"No."

Zowie wasn't phased by her negative.

"I have more." She said with a shrug, and Brooke's shock was enormous.

"Zowie... you can't be doing this, not you!" Not getting a response from her friend, Brooke carried on, tears burning in her eyes. "How long have you been doing drugs, Zowie? Tell me! How long?"

Zowie shrugged, but when she stepped closer to her, Brooke took a step back.

"Give me that pill, Brooke. I need it."

Brooke could only stare at Zowie as her heart chilled at her words. Her friend's face was blank, and her eyes... her eyes were empty, as if she had been stripped of her soul, and the sole thought terrified her. What had happened to Zowie that she had turned into that?

"No, Zowie. I'm not giving it to you, I'm not helping you with this."

Zowie didn't say a word, but taking Brooke by surprise, she hurried back to her room before she could be stopped. Brooke reacted quickly, though, and following her suit, she found Zowie doing exactly what she had imagined: digging into her closet. Desperate, Brooke tried to talk some sense into her.

“Why are you doing this, Zowie?” Brooke had meant to urge some sort of response from her friend, but realisation hit her the moment those words left her lips. She knew why, she had known all along! While her parents' divorce had broken Zowie's heart, what had happened just minutes ago had killed something inside her, and the anger she had once felt towards Orlando returned to Brooke's heart. Mad at him for never defining a clear limit with Zowie, and mad at her friend for falling so helplessly and completely for him, Brooke's words left her lips with an edge she had never used when addressing to Zowie. “Face it, Zow. He left. For good. And as much as you love Orlando, as much as you mourn his departure, he still left you without a single look back.”

That was all Zowie needed to react. Spinning on her heels with a dizzying speed, her eyes fixed Brooke to her spot with a fury that would have intimidated her hadn't she been so angry.

“What?”

“Can't you see what this guy did to you? He changed you, Zowie.” Brooke argued. “All I know is that ever since Orlando came into your life and all this movie crap happened, you've never been the same.”

While Brooke's words angered her beyond belief, something in the way she looked into her eyes still unsettled Zowie. Brooke knew something wasn't entirely right. She didn't bring it up in a forward manner, though, but she still probed, trying to understand exactly what it was, and fear bit Zowie's heart. She had to act, and soon.

Cloaking herself in her fury, Zowie assumed an aggressive stand that she hoped concealed the defensiveness in her actions.

“Nonsense, Brooke. Who says I've changed?”

“I do!” Brooke exclaimed. “You should have never been a part of this thing, Zowie. You couldn't handle it, and Orlando only made it a thousand times worst.”

Finding out her friend's true feelings stomped over what little pieces remained of Zowie's heart. Had Brooke really thought that Orlando was bad for her? She had no idea, Zowie mused. Brooke had no idea how much Orlando meant to her, and how supportive he had been when she had needed him the most.

And as for the movies, did Brooke honestly think Zowie hadn't been ready for that? She might not be a Drama student like Brooke herself, but that lack of preparation had nothing to do with what had happened later and-

Realisation suddenly dawned on Zowie. Fury and pain coiled inside her, but there was a third emotion that rose to life upon discovering what her friend really thought, an emotion that tinted her small, taunting smile with hints of evil.

“Oh... I can see where this comes from,” Zowie said, her voice coated with fake sweetness as she moved closer to her friend, looking down at her with piercing blue eyes. “You're jealous.”

Completely thrown aback by Zowie's statement, Brooke stared at her in disbelief.

“Jealous? Zowie, what the hell are you talking about?”

Zowie knew she was hurting her friend, but that emotion that had awoken moments ago led her, feeding from every negative aspect that lived inside her. She wanted to hurt people, Zowie realised with a start. She might be in hell, yes, but God helped her, she wasn't going to be there on her own!

“You're jealous because I got to enjoy this and not you. _You_ want to be an actress, _you're_ studying Drama, but it was _my_ dad who had access to the movies. You could only watch from the sides as I had the time of my life.”

Brooke gasped for breath as every word Zowie said pierced through her heart. Did she really think that way? Did Zowie honestly think she was jealous of the way she had participated in _Lord of the Rings_? She had to be mad!

And yet, there was some truth in Zowie's words, and that terrified Brooke. As an aspiring actress, she would have gladly given her right arm for any sort of part in those movies, but that didn't mean she envied Zowie's luck!

“Who are you, Zowie? I don't know you anymore,” she whispered, her eyes burning. “Is this really you, or is it the drugs talking? You're addicted to this thing, Zowie... It'll end up killing you!”

Zowie shook her head, not one bit affected by her friend's words.

“It won't. I can control it, you have no idea what you're talking about.”

Brooke's anger mixed with impotence.

“You're just fooling yourself, Zowie. You can't control it, you never will, and it'll destroy you in the end.” Trying to reach her friend one last time, Brooke murmured. “What did this to you, Zowie?”

At that, Zowie snapped. With fury once again blazing in her blue eyes, she pinned Brooke to her spot with a murderous look as all self-control slipped away.

"You've _all_ done this to me, Brooke! All of you!" Zowie screamed, wrath seeping from every pore of her body. How did Brooke _dare_ stop her from getting the one relief no one else could give her? That pushed her over the edge. "Get out of here!” She shouted. “Now!"

Brooke could barely believe what was going on. Was that the same girl she had been friends with for years? Somewhere along the way something had broken inside Zowie and Brooke longed to know what that was. She wanted to fight for her right to be there with her friend, but the murderous gleam in Zowie's eyes told Brooke that was out of the question. Defeat tearing her heart, Brooke looked up at her with tears in her eyes.

"I love you, Zowie. Please don't do this to yourself!"

"Out!"

Brooke didn't react right away, too stunned by her friend's words to do anything else but stare dumbly at her, pain and disbelief contorting her features. Zowie, however, was well past the point of caring and roughly pushed Brooke out of the room before locking the door behind her. Not once did she take a moment to ponder what she was doing; she couldn't. Her brain, her heart, her entire being were plagued by the strongest grief she had ever experienced and no one, _no one_ would stop her from turning to the one relief she knew. And Brooke called herself a _friend_? Zowie snorted through the tears that began flowing once again. No friend would keep her from shutting herself down to the pain that tore at her heart!

Ignoring the loud bangs on the door, Zowie deafened herself to Brooke's voice as she begged and pleaded to be let in. Never, Zowie promised herself. Never again. Brooke would never set foot on that house as long as she had a saying about it. If she couldn't understand, if she couldn't support her when she needed her the most, then Zowie didn't want her anywhere near her.

With determined steps that belied her previous inaction, Zowie swiftly moved to her closet. There was no time to waste, not if she wanted to evade the darkness that neared her at a frightening pace. Three pills remained there and with shaky fingers, she took one of them to her mouth, praying to God the effect would kick in quickly. Once it did, it would be the only way Zowie could shut her brain down and forget all about her father's betrayal, Brooke's persistence and, above all, Orlando's leaving.

How could they do that to her? How could they all leave her or hurt her when she needed them the most? Zowie had hoped Brooke would understand, but even her friend had tried to change her mind. Covering her ears with her hands to deafen the loud banging on her door, Zowie tried to shut herself out, praying under her breath for the pill's effect to kick in soon.

Once, not long ago, she had thought her life had shattered to pieces when William admitted having lied to them, but now that the man she loved had left the country, those dark moments seemed nothing but a slight trouble. Zowie hadn't lied when telling Orlando she was alone, and what had happened just minutes ago had done nothing but prove it. No one understood what she was going through, no one could even imagine the pain she felt at being completely on her own. Orlando had told her she had a family to turn to if she needed them, but he had no idea... no idea. They would never understand.

Feeling her head was about to explode, Zowie collapsed on her bed, the time until she felt the first hints of peace and relief seeming unbearably long in her current state. Yet, just as she felt herself drowning in that vortex of insanity that threatened her whenever troubles became too much, one certainty filled her mind.

She was mad; mad at everything and everyone for turning her life upside down. Zowie was mad at Brooke from turning from the only person she knew she could trust, to someone who tried to make her change the one habit that gave her some peace. She was also mad at her father for lying to her and leaving them, for not fighting harder for the relationship they once had but, above all, she was mad at Orlando for making her fall in love with him, only to walk away when she needed him the most. She was alone, Zowie realised with a sob. And that hurt like nothing ever before.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47.**

_“My fantasy has turned to madness_  
_And all my goodness_  
 _Has turned to badness_  
 _My need to possess you_  
 _Has consumed my soul_  
 _My life is trembling_  
 _I have no control”_

**_Animotion - Obsession_ **

"Hey, Jay. I need a favour. Do you have dad's address?"

It usually took a lot to tear Jared's attention from those computer games he loved so much, but something in Zowie's request managed to do precisely that as well as put a shocked expression on his face.

"What?"

"Are you deaf? I said I need dad's address."

Any other time, Zowie would have most likely been offended by the suspicious look that coloured his blue eyes; that day, however, more urgent matters occupied her mind. Resting her weight against the door frame of Jared's room, she crossed her arms over her chest as she waited for an answer.

"Dad's address? What for?"

Zowie rolled her eyes.

"Isn't that what you all want me to do, to visit dad? Well, that's what I plan to do now.” She said before letting out a dramatic sigh. “I just want to see him, Jay... why does everyone have to jump into sick conclusions?"

Yes, she _was_ probably taking her act a little bit too far, but now that she had made up her mind, she wasn't going to back off and least of all because her brother thought she might have a trick up her sleeve! Zowie struggled to keep a straight face. If only he knew how close to the truth he actually was...

Jared studied her silently, wondering whether he should grant Zowie's wish or not. Her request was surprising, to say the least; after all, not once since their parents had divorced had Zowie expressed any wishes of seeing William.

What had prompted such change, then? Zowie's request made Jared feel uneasy, but choosing to believe the best of her, he scribbled the address on a random piece of paper he found on his desk and then handed it to her.

"You should call first and see if he's-”

"Thanks, Jay!"

She never gave Jared the chance to finish his sentence. Rushing down the stairs, Zowie made a quick pit stop at her room to pick up her purse and then headed out, hurrying to catch the bus. The address Jared had scribbled down for her was familiar, and a quick revision of the city map Zowie had in her head told her the ride would be short. Great, she mused. No matter how much she needed that particular meeting with William, she had no intentions of crossing the entire city just for him. She was most likely going to catch him by surprise too and that was fine with her, because Zowie needed the upper hand, she needed to be in control of herself and the situation in order to get what she wanted from her dad.

The bright January summer song hit her with all its might the moment she set foot on the street. While the old Zowie would have basked in its glow -hopefully in the beach wearing a cute bikini that attracted lots of attention-, the new Zowie paid absolutely no attention to it. For her, the world had become nothing but a monotonous shade of gray where everything was bleak and depressing. Life had had a funny way of biting her in her behind, she realised. If she was being punished for any sort of mistake she had done in the past, then Fate was making sure she paid every damn second of it.

Never had she felt so alone before. Yes, Zowie was surrounded by people, but what difference did that make? None of them could understand. Christmas had come and gone, but all it had done was increase her depression. It had been such a lie, Zowie mused as she revisited that moment. Pretending nothing had happened had been ridiculous, and her mum and Gramma Yvonne's efforts had only made it worse. What was there to celebrate, anyway? Nothing, judging by the way Jared had put a happy smile on her mum's benefit or the way Zowie herself had barely spoken a word at all. Then, the moment a red-eyed Jewell came back from the bathroom, Zowie had wanted nothing but to go back home and sleep for days.

Nonetheless, Fate still had an ace up its sleeve.

It all had changed two days ago. Wallowing in self-pity as it was usual for her as of late, Zowie had locked herself up in her room to watch the video her dad had made of her football final at St. Mary's. So long had passed since that day, that Zowie had greedily taken in Orlando's features every time he appeared on the screen. Then, when the scene of them hugging took precedence before her, Zowie's heart had broken in two. God, she missed him so much! Countless memories had flooded back to her mind, some pleasant, others not so much, and while Zowie would never forget how Orlando had ditched her to go out with some random girl after the match, she determinedly pushed those thoughts away. He had come back to her after all, hadn't he? And much to Zowie's delight, that girl had never been seen again.

The shrill ring of the phone on her bedside table had interrupted her daydreaming, and hugging the stuffed bear Orlando had given her closer to her chest, Zowie hadn't felt like answering the call. Something, however, still made her pick up the phone in the last ring, and the moment Orlando's voice came through the line, the darkness had instantly lifted, letting in bright light that bathed Zowie with its pure glow.

She would never remember, for as long as she lived, what she had said, but she would always, always, recall each and every one of Orlando's words. He was doing great and he was spending some time with his family before taking up on his next adventure, which was moving to Los Angeles. His agent, eager to capitalise on Orlando's role on _Lord of the Rings_ before the movies were even released, wanted him to leave London and try his luck in America for some time. He might not have an impressive resume, Orlando had said, but an important role in Peter's movies was enough to catch any casting director's interest. He was eager to jump into this new phase of his life and Zowie was excited for him, assuring him that he would easily win everyone's hearts in California.

The chat had been long, and it left Zowie sitting on her bed in a thoughtful silence, musing over what they had discussed. Over and over had she turned the matter inside her head, analysing it from every possible angle until realisation hit her. All of a sudden, Zowie knew exactly what to do. She would still need help for that, though, and that was where William came into the picture.

After all, who else would feel guilty enough to give in to Zowie's wishes the minute she showed up at his doorstep?

Her plan was simple and if William fell for it, not very hard to accomplish. All Zowie needed to do was talk her dad into giving her enough money to begin what she would call _a new life_. Of course, William would think it involved being a student in Palmerston North, but Zowie knew better than that. Her life, her destiny, were farther away than that: they were on the other side of the world, in Los Angeles with Orlando.

Nonetheless, as simple as her plan seemed to be, Zowie still knew getting the money might not be just as easy, and she was ready to do almost anything to get what she wanted; meeting her dad was proof of that. Zowie wasn't comfortable with breaking her golden rule of never seeing William again, but if she got what she wanted, then it would be well worth the inconveniences. Once she started a new life with Orlando, William would be the last thing in her mind.

The bus ride wasn't long and not fifteen minutes had passed until Zowie walked down a busy street, her eyes following the sequence of numbers in the buildings' fronts. Finding the one Jared had given her wasn't hard and before long, Zowie rang a bell, her breath caught in her throat as she waited for an answer that took, at least to her, an impossibly long time to come.

"Yes?"

There was a moment long hesitation in Zowie. Was it really worth it? When an image of Orlando suddenly came to her mind, she shook her head at her own silliness.

"Dad? It's me, Zowie."

Silence filled the intercom, making her frown. Had she rung the wrong bell? Or perhaps Jared had tricked her?

"Zowie?"

She had to give it to William; her dad sounded so shocked, he couldn't possibly be faking it.

"Yeah, can I come up?"

Whatever hesitation had attacked William before obviously died on the spot, for he buzzed her in right away. However, and much to her dismay, Zowie's heart began to hammer in her chest the moment she set foot in the lift. She couldn't be nervous! Zowie scolded herself, remembering why she couldn't lose control as she was elevated to William's floor. Orlando was the one reason, and an image of him was the only thing that would stop her from turning back on her heels and running away the minute her dad came to sight.

Zowie took a deep breath. That was it, she realised. That moment would either make it or break it, and she needed to do her best. That much she owed to herself. And to Orlando.

The lift's doors slid open so silently it went almost unnoticed to Zowie, and setting a foot out was a struggle like no other she had experienced before. Why was she nervous? It was only William, the same William she had known all her life and that Zowie knew she could easily manipulate. What was so different about him that time, then?

The answer was suddenly very clear. Zowie hadn't, for a second, stopped to consider how she would do what she planned to do; once her mind had been made up, she had simply thrown herself into it, never considering the specifics and never taking a single glance back. All those possibilities taunted her now, however, laughing at her imprudence. Would William welcome her at all? After being so bitchy to him, Zowie shouldn't be surprised if he slammed the door on her face.

There was, however, another matter that bothered her. What if William lived with _them_? The sole thought made her head spin. She could put up with anything if that meant getting what she wanted, but if _they_ were there... Zowie shook her head. She should have asked Jared! What if all those doubts she was having were nothing but signs, signs that told her she would most likely not be pleased with what she would find there? An image of Orlando floated in her mind and Zowie took a deep breath, hanging on to it with all her might. As long as that image remained there, as long as the possibility of a future together still lived, then she would force herself to make it.

Zowie had yet to look up, though. Not expecting anything since her mind had wandered miles and miles away, she inadvertently collided against something as she stepped out of the lift, hard enough to waver on her feet. Desperate, Zowie tried to hold on to anything, but two strong hands beat her at it, gripping her arms and avoiding a potential disaster to her pride.

"Are you okay?"

The voice echoed in Zowie's ears, bringing her heart to a stop for an impossibly long second before it stuttered back to life, beating with such might she was afraid her chest would explode.

She didn't need to look up for she would recognise that voice anywhere, but Zowie did nonetheless, and the pain that shot through her heart when she met those blue eyes that mirrored her own both angered her, and shook her to her very core. Zowie wasn't ready for that stabbing pain or for the realisation that, in spite of her bravado, she had actually missed William more than she had admitted even to herself, and the sole realisation infuriated her. What a waste of energy and time that was! It would change nothing of what had happened between them and, most importantly, it would change nothing of what she planned for her future. If William could walk away and live his life empty of all regrets, then so could she. And he wouldn't be able to stop her, for he was hardly a role model for his daughter.

"Yes, I'm fine... I'm fine." There was a light stuttering in her words Zowie blatantly ignored as she delicately pulled herself out of her dad's grip. She didn't want to upset William, but God knew being so close to him did nothing good to her. Something inside Zowie told her it would be nice to smile, but since she wasn't sure something other than an ugly grimace would come out, she decided to remain serious instead. "How have you been?"

"I'm... well..." William hesitated. It was obvious he was searching for a way to express his feelings that didn't upset Zowie and she nodded inwardly, feeling pleased. Guilt was exactly what she had been after and if William remained on that path, then getting what she wanted wouldn't be so hard. "Let's just say I'm doing a lot better now that you're here," he finally said, a tentative smile on his face.

In return, Zowie's lips stretched on a poor, miserable rendition of a smile, and even if her eyes averted from William he found nothing wrong in any of those gestures. His first instinct was to pose an arm around her shoulders, but the tension in them and the serious look on Zowie's face advised him against it. Zowie was there, William told himself, and that was enough. After all, it was the first step she had refused to take for months.

It had been her decision to make and it had hurt William, but he knew his pain had nothing on Zowie's. The grief in her clear blue eyes when he had admitted the truth had broken his heart, but the disappointment that had shone in them... that had torn his very soul to pieces. William would have gladly given anything to erase that, but he couldn't force himself on Zowie. That didn't mean he was any pleased with the way things were between them, but he had been smart enough to wait and now it was paying off.

"Come on," he said, breaking the silence that had fallen thickly upon them. "This way."

Zowie took a deep breath knowing that, regardless of what she found in his flat, she would need to remain calm and focused on her intentions; her hot temper would get her nowhere. Yet, when William opened the the door her stomach knotted, belying all her previous determination. Her body tensed as if ready to run away as she followed William inside, watching him as he spun on his heels and looked down at her with a smile.

"Welcome. It's a little untidy, but... well, ignore it. Please."

Hadn't she been to tense, Zowie would have smiled in spite of herself. Her dad seemed so eager to please, so keen on not wanting to upset her, that the perverse monster that had come to life when arguing with Brooke some time ago once again rose inside her. That wouldn't be hard at all!

Luckily for her William was alone, and a quick examination of the flat told her he most likely wasn't sharing it with anyone, and she suppressed a sigh of relief. Its mere existence annoyed her, though. She couldn't be so affected by that or anything else when she was so close to bringing her plans to fruition!

Making small talk with William wasn't as hard as Zowie had anticipated. It wasn't easy either, but it could work as long as she kept the conversation on shallow grounds and avoided more controversial matters. It made her appear as if she wasn't ready to talk about those things yet, and William bought her act completely. Zowie wasn't sure how long they had spent chatting about basically nothing important but when William, whether intentionally or not approached the subject of her schooling, she knew that was the best chance she would ever have. Fidgeting a little on her chair, Zowie adopted a modest expression, as if she embarrassed about what she was about to say.

"In fact, I wanted to talk to you about that," meeting William's blue eyes just briefly, Zowie then looked down at the cup of coffee between her hands, one that had grown lukewarm a long time ago and that she was just holding until she found the right chance to speak her mind. That moment. "I've been working on it, polishing up some last-minute details, if you want. Thing is, I... well..." When the moment finally came for her to say the right words, Zowie hesitated and she cursed herself. She had done all of that for _nothing_? If that was the case, then she could very well leave that flat immediately and jump into the sea and drown. If she ruined it, she probably would, anyway.

"Is there anything I can do?" William asked, eager to help and, at the same time, win his daughter back. What the hell was she waiting for, then?

Zowie tried once more, hoping the modest, almost embarrassed façade would stay up in place long enough for her to pull that off.

"I tried to work it out on my own, but..." Pretending a worried sigh, Zowie glanced briefly at William before looking down once again. "Well... I need money. I thought my savings would be enough, but... let's say they're not even close."

William grinned, blind to Zowie's true intentions. Recognising a good chance when it came his way, he wasn't going to let that one go. William knew he couldn't buy her affection, but if that was the first step towards a renewed, stronger relationship between them, then he could pretend that, deep down inside, he wasn't trying to do precisely that: buy Zowie back.

"I'm proud to hear you're trying to do things on your own, Zowie. That's great, that's the first step towards adulthood." He mused, a smile on his face. "But being able to call for help when you need it is even better. You can't let pride get in the way. I'm your dad, Zowie, and I'm here for you. Always."

At those words, Zowie had to hide the perverse gleam that threatened to illuminate her smile. She had been so close to losing it all, so close to wasting a perfect chance, that she couldn't help but feel an evil sense of accomplishment at how the situation had unfolded: exactly like she had expected.

"I don't know, dad. I mean, I've been horrible to you lately, and coming only when I need your help seems so... low!"

A warm hand found hers, posing itself there in a gesture that would have achieved its desired effect on Zowie months ago. In that moment, however, said effect went lost, and Zowie struggled not to remove her hand from under William's grip. Physical contact with a man who had deceived her so much wasn't something she had been looking forward to.

"How much?" William asked, and Zowie made sure to come across as hesitant, earning herself a smile and a soft squeeze in her hand. "Zowie, did you hear any of what I just said? I'm here for you, no matter what. Besides, your education is a priority. You should have come to me sooner."

Any other time, the figure she murmured would have earned her a shocked reaction from William. That time, however, his smile never faltered. While William had lived quite an easy and uncomplicated life thanks to his ancestors' efforts since arriving in New Zealand, he had always made sure his three children understood that money didn't grow from trees. He hardly said no to anything they asked, but William was usually a bit more reluctant to hand in amounts of money he considered too big for a girl Zowie's age. None of that happened, though. No reluctance, no lecture on the true value of money and, thank God, no _“I'll talk to your mum and see what she thinks of it”_. He was so desperate to win her back, that William would agree to anything Zowie asked, and she knew right there and then that all those months of silence had finally paid off.

Still smiling, William stood up, disappearing into what she imagined was his bedroom before returning with a check book in his hand. Assuming his former position across Zowie, William busied himself writing down the check, his hand getting in the way and preventing Zowie from seeing whether he had truly accepted the figure she had mentioned as easily as he had appeared to. It was impossible for her to see, but when William finally handed her the cheek, he did so with a conspiring smile that made her breath caught in her throat with anticipation.

"I hope this is this enough?"

Zowie didn't want to come across as anxious, but when she looked down at the check her dad had handed her, she couldn't help giving him a shocked look in return.

"But, dad... this is..." She couldn't finish her sentence, endless possibilities whirling in her mind.

"It's university, Zowie.” He said and then shrugged. “Besides, you're going to need a new wardrobe."

Once again, Zowie's eyes read the figure written on the check. The silent treatment had obviously paid off, more than she would have imagined. Not only had William agreed without any hesitations, he had also added some dollars – some _good_ extra dollars – that Zowie hadn't dared to expect. It was so hard to control herself now that she had got what she wanted! The thought of how disappointed William would be when he found she had no intention of spending that money on her education crossed her mind for a second, but she quickly pushed it away. If William hadn't stopped to consider the pain and heartache he would bring to his family, why should Zowie?

Staying with him for as long as she deemed politically correct after getting such a big check was harder than Zowie had ever imagined. Fidgeting on her seat, she glanced at her watch whenever her dad wasn't looking, and when she determined that the courtesy time was done and over with, she announced she needed to meet Brooke. The perverse monster inside her laughed heartily at that. Zowie hadn't heard of her friend since pushing her out of her room the day Orlando left and she intended to keep things that way. If Brooke couldn't understand her, then she didn't deserve to be called her friend. As simple as that.

Zowie endured William's goodbye hug with a patience that surprised her. He was so happy he had made things up with her, that Zowie almost regretted having led him on.

Almost.

The moment she walked out of William's building, the check safely tucked into her back pocket, Zowie realised her father's feelings mattered very little to her. Now that she was of legal age, had a valid passport and money to start a new life, nothing would stop her. With a spring on her step, Zowie walked away, already imagining how Orlando would welcome her in Los Angeles, how delighted he would be to have her by his side. Yes, everything would be perfect. Just the way she had dreamt it would be, one afternoon months and months ago.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48.**

 

"It was you, William? _You_ gave her the money?"

Astonishment and anger mixed in Noemie, contorting her face in an ugly way Zowie had never seen before. Her mum looked ready to jump her ex husband's throat and given the fire blazing in her gray eyes, it shouldn't take long. It was surprising to say the least to see her composed mum acting that way, but Zowie still watched the argument unfold from her vantage spot sitting at the family's dinner table. The kitchen, usually full of light, had darkened thanks for the storm brewing in the room.

"I didn't know what she-"

William soon realised that trying to make his point come across was futile; Noemie would have none of it. Before he could even finish his statement, finish explaining the trick Zowie had played on him, Noemie interrupted him with an angry growl, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. Turning her attention back to him, she could have pinned William to the nearest wall with the fury in her eyes.

"Are you out of your mind?" Noemie's voice raised. "How could you, William? What on Earth were you thinking, for Goodness' sake?"

William's lips parted, ready to fire back an answer with the same amount of temper that Noemie was showing, but even with all his best intentions, there were no words that could possibly justify falling for his daughter's plot. For a brief second, William's blue eyes met Zowie's with a look that, in any other given situation, would have made her feel awfully guilty. The worst person alive, even.

But not that day. Not when her mind was long since made up about her plans.

"How was I supposed to know, Noemie?" William asked, turning his attention to her. "I hadn't seen Zowie in months, how could I possibly expect anything wrong from her?"

Noemie rolled her eyes, her lips thinning until they formed an angry line.

“That's exactly the problem, don't you understand? Zowie asks and you give, that's how it's always been. That's not the way you raise a kid, William... that's not the way you deal with a teenager! You can't go around giving money away for free without at least wondering what is really going on!”

Noemie was right; even Zowie had to accept that. It was precisely that soft spot, that lack of firmness when it came to her that Zowie had used on her favour. What she hadn't been counting on, however, and now cursed herself for it, was William sharing the details of their meeting with Noemie. She had questioned Zowie about the money, of course, and hadn't bought for a single minute her lies about university. Putting two and two together hadn't been hard, and when Noemie finally realised Zowie had no intention of continuing her education – something she should have done some weeks ago by moving to Palmerston North -, all hell had broken loose.

Zowie sighed. What a wrong move from Noemie to bring William along thinking it would do anything to convince Zowie of how badly she had acted. No amount of confrontation, of raised voices or threats could ever change her mind. Zowie had kept her plans a complete secret and knew unveiling them would be a huge shock for everyone. She only wished none of them would link them to that bad influence Noemie surely thought Orlando to be. Zowie could have laughed at the thought. Bad influence... she shook her head. If only they knew he was the only person she could trust!

"Well? Won't you say a thing?"

Noemie's harsh words brought Zowie back to reality and the hostility in her mum's face, plus the hurt in her dad's one, only served to anger Zowie. Who the hell did they think themselves to be to judge her like that? None of them was actually guilt-free in all that mess as far as Zowie could see!

"Wait... you mean there's _anything_ left for me to say? I thought you two had said it all already."

Her blunt, taunting words did nothing to put Noemie's anger out. Zowie knew she was playing with fire, knew her mum wasn't the person to fool around with, but she had the upper hand and nothing her parents could say or do would stop her.

"That attitude won't take anywhere, Zowie. Tone it down or be ready to face the consequences, you hear me?" Much to Noemie's dismay, Zowie dismissed her scolding words with a mere shake of her head. She knew her mum's words weren't empty and normally wouldn't have dared to talk back at her that way, but since it all had an expiration date, Zowie was willing to face anything. "What is it that you plan to do with all that money, Zowie? Don't even think about lying to me, because I _know_ your education is the last thing on your mind right now. And don't even get me started on how low of you it was to play a trick like that on your dad.” The angry barrier in Noemie's gray eyes slipped for a second, revealing the desperation beneath. “Why are you doing this, Zowie? What is wrong with you? Are you doing this just to punish us?”

Zowie rolled her eyes, feeling in her entire being the rise of that now familiar, perverse creature. She should have been afraid of it and its mere existence, but she was strangely at ease with it now, especially in moments such as that. Even in her worst fits, Zowie had always held something back, but not anymore. Pain lessened when she let herself go.

Leaning back on her seat, her eyes focused on Noemie's.

"Low? Wrong?" Zowie pretended to be confused for a second before piercing her mum with an intense, unavoidable gaze. "Oh, I see. It's perfectly fine and understandable when _he_ lies to us, but not the other way around? You can't blame me, mum. I'm just learning by his example."

Shocked gasps echoed in the room and it was hard for Zowie, in the midst of her perverse pleasure, to determine which parent was more shocked. Noemie's face was a mask of surprise and disbelief, and as for William, he looked like he had been punched right in the stomach and was experiencing the most excruciating pain ever. Good. He deserved every bit of it.

Zowie sighed. Her parents could drag that argument on and on for as long as they wanted to, but it would get them nowhere. She had made up her mind a long time and nothing they could say would ever change a single one of her plans. But more importantly, Zowie had had enough drama for the day. There was a reason why she made a point of avoiding such situations: they were far too draining regardless of what little gratification she got out of spitting some venom here and there. She was ready to end that argument and if William and Noemie felt like going on, then they would have to do so without the pleasure of her company, for Zowie was leaving. Standing up, she stared at her parents with a determined look on her face.

"For your information, I plan to go away."

The surprise on her parents' faces didn't diminish one bit. If anything, it only grew. William recovered first, although his pale face echoed the fear in his voice.

"Go away?" His voice trembled. "But... where?"

Zowie's eyes met his with a determination that made William's body shiver. That wasn't an empty threat, and Zowie was stubborn enough to actually bring her promise to life.

"America. I want to work there."

When Noemie let out a short, sharp laugh, both Zowie and William noticed the desperate, terrified hint in it. Closing the distance between them, Noemie approached her daughter, wanting to make sure she wasn't playing with them.

"Work? Doing what exactly, Zowie?" Noemie's eyes were fixed on hers, but Zowie refused to look away. She needed to hold her ground and make them see they wouldn't stop her.

"Training actors like dad does here. I have the knowledge and now I have the experience to fill my resume. It can't be that hard."

Part of it was true. In spite her rosy dreams of perfection the moment she landed on Los Angeles, Zowie had soon realised that she would go nowhere without a job. She intended to become a trainer and with _Lord of the Rings_ in her resume, she was sure not many people would be able to overlook her, no matter how young she was. That wasn't all that there was to it, of course, but her parents didn't need to know it all.

Noemie gave her disbelieving look. William's paleness only increased and Zowie felt a hint of smugness at his reaction. Noemie had asked her whether she was doing that to punish them, and Zowie had to admit that there was some of it in her decision. Maybe not punish _them_ as a whole, but _him_... definitely. And she knew exactly what pained William the most: that he had given her the means to walk away. Surely, Noemie's thoughts walked down the same path. She still tried to reason with her daughter, though.

"Do you honestly think jobs will be lined up for you the moment you step out of the plane? Can't you see that there are hundreds of people with the same plans, people far more skilled and experienced than you that never get an opportunity?" Her words didn't affect Zowie. Growing desperate, Noemie resorted to the last weapon she had. Or that she thought she still possessed. "This is it. You're not going anywhere. I won't let you do this, Zowie."

Flattening her palms against the cool wood of the table, Zowie's eyes met Noemie's with a certainty that made her mum shiver from head to toe.

"You can't do a single thing, mum. I'm 18 and I can do whatever I want." Assuming her previous position standing straight, her gaze drifted from a shocked Noemie to a silent, sickly looking William. "Everything's taken care of. I've been researching and nothing will stop me from doing this. Nothing. You two won't be the exception, and as far as I'm concerned, this argument is over."

Before any of her parents could say or even think of anything except the shock and terror her words had inspired in them, Zowie left the kitchen. Before long, they could hear the front door slamming closed and the silence that fell on them upon Zowie's departure took a long time to disappear. The shock and the fear, however, would take even longer. If they ever disappeared at all.

Overtaken by terror, William and Noemie could do nothing but share a long look that mirrored each other's desperation, the questions written in their eyes bare for the world to see. What had happened to Zowie? What had happened to the girl they had once known?


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49.**

 

"Could you please stop crying, Jewell? It's not like you're never going to see me again!"

Zowie's words and the badly concealed scolding in them only made Jewell's tears increase, her sobs growing louder as she attracted attention Zowie could have easily done without. The sight of someone crying at any airport around the world wasn't uncommon, but Jewell was taking it to a whole new level Zowie wasn't any comfortable with. She had pictured that moment as one of joy and hope for a future that seemed so bright and promising, not one for tears and desperation!

Nonetheless, Zowie couldn't blind herself to her little sister's feelings, understanding them to a certain extent. There had been far too many changes in their lives as of late for Jewell to deal with them easily. For an instance, William had left the house, and now Zowie was about to do the same. Who could blame a thirteen-year-old girl for being overwhelmed by her emotions?

Biting her lip, Zowie glanced down at her sister, guilt spiralling inside her as she regretted having snapped at her. Regardless of her decisions and what had prompted them, a voice inside her still wondered what would happen to Jewell and Jared once she was gone. Sure, they could lean on William in a way Zowie found impossible, but where there had been three to deal with the problems, now there would be only two. Zowie loved her brother and sister dearly, she would never do anything to intentionally hurt them, but thinking her leaving could do precisely that was the only cloud in her otherwise bright horizon.

"Oh, Jules... please, don't cry." Sliding her arms around Jewell's trembling body, Zowie pulled her close for a tight hug as she battled her own tears to keep an even tone in her voice. “I know it sounds bad now, but I would have have to leave anyway. I'll stay in touch and you know you can count on me, even if I'm miles away!”

Jewell's grey eyes were full of tears when she looked up at Zowie, making her heart skip a bit at the pain she saw darkening them.

"It's not the same and you know it!" Jewell's pained voice shook with her sobs. "You're moving to America, Zowie, not Palmerston North. It's... it's huge! I'm going to miss you so much..."

Closing her eyes, praying to keep the tears at bay, Zowie hugged Jewell tightly, all the while murmuring soothing words in her ear. She didn't want Jules' pain to darken her mood, but it was impossible to ignore it. Yes, Jewell could be very annoying at times, but Zowie still loved her and she made sure to let her know that. It might not be of much use while they sat at Wellington's airport but hopefully, those words would still help Jewell in the weeks to come.

Jared, however, was a completely different story. His eyes were red and glistened with unshed tears and while he had remained silent most of the time, Zowie knew in her heart that there were many things he wanted to say.

Sliding one arm around each sibling, Zowie finally spoke.

"Guys, I know this is hard, but it's not the end. I'll be back to annoy you before you even have the time to miss me."

Zowie had expected Jewell to protest, to say something in response to her statement but when Jared's soft voice was the one to end the silence, it almost caught her by surprise.

"Why are you doing this, Zow? Why are you leaving?”

Zowie sighed. She could try and convince Jewell in many different ways, but when the quiet and reserved Jared finally spoke his mind, Zowie had the feeling there weren't many things she could say that could ease any of his pain.

"Because I have to, Jay...” She finally said, turning to him. “You know that. There's not much else for me to do here and there are so many things I want to do, so many things I want to try..."

There was such plain disbelief in Jared's eyes, that Zowie's voice trailed off. He wasn't buying it, Zowie realised; Jared wasn't buying a single one of her excuses. He was perceptive enough to understand that there was something else there, something Zowie wasn't talking about, but had so far been unable to make the obvious connection. While her parents had been too shocked and too uninformed about certain things to link her decision to Orlando, that wasn't Jared's case, and Zowie prayed her brother couldn't see through her flimsy excuses.

"If you wanted to punish mum and dad, I give it to you, you've succeeded." He said. "Isn't that enough to stay?"

Zowie had to close her eyes at that, both to hide the relief at her brother not mentioning the name she had dreaded to hear, and to avoid Jared's probing gaze from reading hers.

"No, Jay. I can't. I have to leave."

"You don't _have_ to leave. You just _want_ to."

What could Zowie possibly answer to that? Any excuse, anything she might come up with to try and convince Jared that that wasn't the case sounded awfully phony, and he would see straight through them the minute they left her mouth. Taking a deep breath, Zowie remained quiet instead, concentrating on making the most out of those last moments with her brother and sister, even if they were spent in silence.

"They'll be here any minute, you know that? Even if they didn't know the exact date, they'll figure it out on their own the moment they find out we're all gone.” Jared said interrupting Zowie's reverie.

"Sorry?"

"Mum and dad. They'll be here any minute. And they _will_ try to stop you."

"I know."

It was unavoidable, and Zowie's sigh carried all her resignation. She had refused to tell her parents the exact date of her departure hoping to avoid one last moment of drama, but she could now see how futile her hopes had been. Even if William realised it was better for him to remain aside and not show up there, nothing would stop Noemie from trying one last time.

"They won't be able to stop you anyway, will they?"

Zowie turned to Jewell but no words were necessary; the look on her sister's face brought fresh tears to Jewell's eyes.

The next minutes were spent in silence for none of the Hart brothers knew exactly what to say. While Jared and Jewell turned every idea around in their heads, struggling for an argument their sister couldn't possibly debunk, Zowie strived for words that could explain that she wasn't deserting them, that she wasn't walking away on them just like that. No words seemed enough, though, and lost in her musings, she didn't notice the couple approaching them with hurried steps until they stood right before her.

"This is it, Zowie. We're going home."

Although a stern glow cloaked Noemie's grey eyes, Zowie could see straight through it, noticing the pain and terror that filled her mum the moment their gazes met. She had been right, she mused. Noemie had indeed come to stop her but for once, Zowie wasn't in the mood to argue.

"Listen to your mum, Zowie. Let's go home."

The sound of William's voice had an immediate effect on her, making anger begin to simmer deep within Zowie. Why was he there? Hadn't he still got the message? Of all the people surrounding her in that instant, William was the one Zowie couldn't have easily done without, and the fact that he was trying to give her orders only fuelled her anger. Taking a deep breath, she answered with a controlled, determined voice, “No.”

Shock rivalled in their all faces at her response, but while William and Noemie appeared to be in awe by her negative, Zowie was flabbergasted at the surprise she could read in her parents' eyes. Did they really think they could fetch her from the airport and take her back home with a smile on her face? Ridiculous!

"Zowie, please." Noemie begged, crouching down before her and looking up at her with pleading eyes. "You've proved your point. We know we've hurt you and we're sorry, but this has to stop. You can't leave just because of this!"

Zowie shook her head, the sound of Jewell's renewed sobs touching her ears.

"I don't have a point to prove, mum. I want to do this and nothing will stop me. I already told you so."

Zowie's calm and determined demeanour sent Noemie over the edge. All pretence of calmness fled her in that instant and gripping Zowie's hands tighter, she gave her a desperate look as she tried to tug her into a standing position.

"You don't have to do this, love. You don't have to leave... you _can't_ leave! Can't you see there's nothing for you over there, that everything you could possibly want is here?” Frantic, Noemie sought for a way to keep her daughter by her side. “I'll tell you what. Take one or two years, think about it and then, if you still want to do this, I swear I'll be the first one to help you with everything. But don't leave now, not like this."

That was the precise moment Zowie began to pray for her boarding call. She hated drama, hated seeing her strong mum reduced to a begging state, especially when Noemie knew just as well as she did that Zowie wasn't going to agree to her offer.

"Mum, we've been though this already and..."

"And I still don't get it!" Noemie interrupted her, this time anger mingling with her pain. "I don't get why you have to leave. Is it my fault? Is it because of me and your dad getting divorced?"

Zowie parted her lips to answer, but William beat her at it.

"This is all my fault, isn't it, Zowie? I know I did wrong, but I can change, I swear! Things can go back to the way they used to be between us."

At those words, anger blazed inside Zowie and staring up at him, she spat venomously.

“Tell me, dad... how do you plan to do that, uh? Will you make the past disappear, will you make those kids disappear?” Standing up, Zowie delivered the final blow. “ _Nothing_ can change the past, dad, not even you. So don't even bother, at least not with me, because I don't believe in you anymore.”

When Noemie broke down, Zowie's temples began to throb with fury. Why had they come? Why had they all come to see her off if they couldn't at the very least wish her good luck? Zowie hadn't realised how bitter she was about their lack of well-wishing until the thought surged to life, but once it hit her, there was no denying it. She might be ready to move to the other end of the world, but that didn't mean she didn't need at least the tiniest reassurance from them. How could they be so selfish as to rob her of that?

Just as Zowie seriously began to contemplate the idea of begging to be let through her gate until it was time to board, the loudspeakers announced her salvation. Angry as she was, she didn't think much of saying goodbye and grabbing her bag from where it rested at her feet, she harshly slung it over her shoulder before turning to her siblings with a far less loving attitude than she would have intended. She might regret it later on but for the time being, too much fury bubbled inside her for Zowie to think straight.

"Take care, guys. Jay, good luck with university. Jules, keep up the good grades, okay?"

Stunned, both kids could do little else but stand dumbfounded as Zowie gave each a quick, impersonal hug. When she then turned to face her mum, Zowie observed as tears streamed down Noemie's face.

"Zowie..."

She didn't allow her to finish.

"I'll behave, mum. I swear. I'll stay in touch, too, so don't worry."

The hug Zowie gave her mum might have seemed enough to her, but for Noemie it was nothing but heartbreakingly short and detached. Nonetheless, it was the world compared to what William got when his turn came.

All set and ready to go, Zowie stood before her dad, noticing right away that he expected a similar gesture from her. A little part of Zowie even considered it, but that monster that had taken residence inside her didn't allow her to go any further. All the love she had once felt for her father was blocked somewhere inside her and she stared up at him with an openly defiant look.

Realising there was no stopping Zowie, William tried a different approach.

"Please take care of yourself over there." He murmured, blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Remember all that we have taught you."

Cocking her head thoughtfully, Zowie took a moment before responding.

"Should I? I mean, you're hardly a role model."

Perhaps later she would regret it. Perhaps, there would be a time in the future when Zowie would look back and wonder why she had been so deliberately hurtful with her loved ones, but that wouldn't happen while she was still in Wellington. She was on the verge of starting a new life, why would she ruin that by feeling regretful for things she knew she was right about?

Giving her family a quick goodbye, Zowie marched towards the gate with determined steps, not once taking a single look back. She knew it was horrible to walk away just like that, but the moment she was allowed through the gate, all thoughts of that kind fled her and her heart fluttered with a mix of excitement and fear. That was is, Zowie realised. That was the moment she had been waiting for, and every step she took was a step closer to a new life full of love, happiness and light.

A life that could only be perfect.

 

_“Now life devalues day by day_

_As friends and neighbours turn away_

_And there's a change that, even with regret, cannot be undone”_

**_Pink Floyd, “A Great Day For Freedom”_ **

**THE END**


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